Page images

as we can.

ed up his nose, and called me bete: Ecod, I lent Dauph. To work for all the beaux esprits of him a lick in his lanthorn jaws, that will make the court. My good fortune commenced by a him remember the spawn of old Marlborough, small alteration in a cut of the corner of the I warrant bin. Another came up to second sleeve for Count Crib; but the addition of a ninth him ; but I let drive at the mark, made the plait in the skirt of Marshal Tonerre was apsoup-maigre rumble in his bread-basket, and plauded by Madam la Duchess Rambouillet, and laid bin sprawling! Then in poureil a inillion totally established the reputation of your humof them; I was knocked down in a trice; and ble servant. what happened after, I know no more than you. Buck. Hold your jaw, and dispatch. But where's Lucy? I'll go see her.

Nir. Sub. A word with you— I don't think it Class. Oh fie! ladies are created here with a impossible to get you acquainted with Madain little more ceremony: Mr. Subtle, too, has col- de Rambouillet. lected these people, who are to equip you for the Buck. An't she a papist ? conversation of the ladies.

Mr. Sub. Undoubtedly. Buck. Wounds! all these? What, Mr. Subtle, Buck. Then I'll ha' nothing to say to her. these are monsieurs too, I suppose?

Mr. Sub. Oh fie! who minds the religion of a Mr. Sub. No, squire, they are Englishmen: pretty woman? Besides, all this country are of fashion has ordained, that, as you employ none the same. but foreigners at home, you must take up with

Buck. For that reason I don't care how soon I your own countrymen here.

get out of it: Come, let's get rid of you as soon Class. It is not in this instance alone we are

And what are you, hey? particular, Mr. Subtle ; I have observed


of Bar. Je suis peruquier, Monsieur. our pretty gentlemen, who condescend to use Buck. Speak English, you son of a whore ! entirely their native language here, sputter no Bar. I am a perriwig-maker, sir. thing but bad French in the side-boxes at home. Buek. Then why could not you say so at first?

Buck. Look you, sir; as to you, and your What, are you ashamed of your mother-tongue ? wife, and Miss Lucy, I like you all well enough ; I knew this fellow was a puppy, by his pig-tail. but the devil a good thing else have I seen Coine, let's see your handy-work. since I lost sight of Dover. The men are all Bar. As I found you where in a hurry, I have puppies, miucing and dancing, and chattering, brought you, sir, something that will do for the and grinning : the women are a parcel of paint present: But a peruque is a different ouvrage, ed dolls; their food's fit for hogs; and as for another sort of a thing here from what it is en their language, let them learn ic that like it, Angleterre ; we must consult the colour of the I'll none on't; no, nor their frippery neither complexion, and the tour de visage, the form of So here you may all march to the place from the face ; for which end it will be necessary to whence you-Harkye! What, are you an En- regard your countenance in different lights: A glishman?

little to the right if you please. Bar. Yes, sir.

Buck. Why you dog, 'd'ye think I'll submit to Buck. Domine! look here, what a monster be exercised by you?" the monkey has made of himself ?—Sirrah, if Bar. Oh mon Dieu ! Monsieur, if you don't, your string was long enough, I'd do your busi- it will be impossible to make your wij comme il ness myself, you dog, to sink a bold Briton in-faut. to such a sneaking, snivelling-the rascal looks Buck. Sirrah, speak another French word, and as he had not had a piece of beef and pud- I'll kick

you down stairs. ding in his paunch these twenty years. I'll be Bar. Gad's curse ! Would you resemble some hanged if the rogue han't been fed on frogs of your countrymen, who, at the first importaever since he came over ! Away with your tion, with nine hairs of a side to a brawny pair trompery!

of cheeks, look like a Saracen's head ! Or else Class. Mr. Buck, a compliance with the cus- their water-gruel jaws, sunkin a thicket of curls, toms of the country in which we live, where appear for all the world like a lark in a soupneither our religion nor our morals are concern- dish! ed, is a duty we owe ourselves.

Mr. Sub. Come, squire, submit; 'tis but for Mr. Sub. Besides, squire, Lucinda expects once. that you should usher her to public places ; Buck. Well, but what must I do? which it would be impossible to do in that

[Places him in a chair. dress.

Bar. To the right, sir--now to the leftBuck. Why not?

now your full-and now, sir, I'll do your huMr. Sub. You'd be mobbed.

siness. Buck. Mobbed! I should be glad to see that Mr. Sub. Look at yourself a little ; see what -No, no! they han't spirit enough to mob here; a revolution this has occasioned in your whole but come, since these fellows here are English, figure. and it is the fashion, try on your fooleries. Buck. Yes, a bloody pretty figure indeed!

Mr Sub. Mr. Dauphine,come, produce~Up- But 'tis a figure I am damnably ashamed of: I on my word, in an elegant taste, sir This would not be seen by Jack Wildfire or Dick gentleman has had the lionour to

Riot for fifty pounds in this trim, for all that.


Mr. Sub. Upon my honour, dress greatly im- Dover packet arrived last night, londed as folproves you! Your opinion, Mr. Classic? lows : Sir turilors, ditto barbers; five milliners,

Class. They do mighty well, sir; and in a little bound to Paris to study fashions; four citisens time Mr. Buck will be easy in them.

come to setile here for a month, by way of seeBuck. Shall 1? I am glad on't, for I am dam- ing the country; ditto, their wives ; ten French nably uneasy at present, Mr. Subtle. What must vulets, with nine cooks, all from Newgate, I do now?

where they had been sent for robbing their masMr. Sub. Now, sir, if you'll call upon my wife, ters ; nine figure dancers, exported in Septemyou'll find Lucinda with her, and I'll wait on you ber, ragged and lean, imported well clad, und presently.

in good case; twelve dogs, ditto bitches, with Buck. Come along, Domine ! But harkye, Mr. treo monkeys, and a litter of puppies, from MoSubtle, l'il out of my trammels when I hunt with ther Midnight's, in the Hay-market a precithe kiny.

ous cargo! Postscript. One of the coasters is Mr. Sub. Well, well.

just put in, with his grace the duke ofBuck. I'll on with my jemmies; none of your my lord, and an old gentleman whose name Í black bags and jack-boots for me.

can't learn! Mr. Sub. No, no.

Buck. I'll show them the odds on't, old Silver Gadso! Well, my dear, I must run, and try to tail! I will. Hey?

secure these customers; there's no time to be Mr. Sub. Ay, ay.


[Erit. Buck. Hedge, stake, or stile, over we go! Mr. Sub. Ay; but Mr. Classic waits.

Enter Classic.
Buck. But d'ye think they'll follow?
Mr. Sub. Oh, no! Impossible !

Mrs. Sub. So, Mr. Classic; what, have you Buck. Did I tell you what a chase she carried left the young couple together? me last Christmas eve? We unkennelled at

Class. They want your ladyship's presence, Mr. Sub. I am busy now; at any other time. madamn, for a short tour to the Thuilleries. i

Buck. You'll follow us. I have sent for my have received some letters, which I must answer hounds and horses.

immediately. Mr. Sub. Have you?

Mrs. Sub. Oh! well, well; no ceremony; we Buck. They shall make the tour of Europe are all of a family, you know. Servant! (Exit. with me: and then there's Tom Atkins the huntsman, the two whippers-in, and little Joey

Enter Roger. the groom, comes with them. Damme, what

Class. Roger! a strange place they'll think this ! But no mat

Rog. Anon! ter for that; then we shall be company enough

Class. I have just received a letter from your of ourselves. But you'll follow us in? [E.rit. old master; he was landed at Calais, and will

Mr. Sub. In ten minutes—an impertinent be this evening at Puris. It is absolutely necesjackanapes ! But I shall soon have done with him. -So, gentlemen ; well, you see we have a good from his son ; for which purpose, you must wait

that this circumstance should be concealed

sary subject to work upon. Harkyer Daupbine, I

at the Piccardy gate, and deliver a letter, I shall must have more than twenty per cent out of that

give you, into his own hand. suit.

Rog. I'll warrant you. Dauph. Upon my soul, Mr. Subtle, I can't!

Cluss. But, Roger, be secret. Mr. Sub. Why, I have always that upon new.

Rog. O lud! never you fear. [Erit. Dauph. New, sir ! why, as I hope to beMr. Sub. Come don't lie; don't damn your pretty lodging we have hit upon; the mistress a

Class. So, Mr. Subtle, I see your aim. A self, Dauphine ; don't be a rogue ; did not I see at Madam Fripon’s, that waistcoat and sleeves this ward be? Possibly the neglected punk of

But who can

comniode, and the master aupon Colonel Crambo? Dauph. As to the waistcoat and sleeves, I Buck's father is arrived, or my authority would

some riotous man of quality. 'Tis lucky Mr. own; but for the body and lining-may I never

prove but an insufficient match for my pupil's Mr. Sub. Come don't be a scoundrel; five obstinacy:, This mad boy! How difficult, how

disagreeable a task have I undertaken !' Aud and thirty, or I've done. Dauph. Well, if I must, I must.

how general, yet how dangerous, an experi

ment is it to expose our youth, in the very fire

[Erit DAUPHINE. Mr. Sub. I must keep these fellows under, or

and fury of their blood, to all the follies and I shall bave a fine time on't; they know they ferent was the prudent practice of our fore

of this fantastic court! Far dif

extravagance can't do without ine.




They scorn to truck, for base unmanly arts,
Their native plainness, and their honest hearts;

Mrs. Sub, The Calais letters, my dear.
Mr. Sub. [Reads.]-Ab! ab! Calais— The

Whene'er they deigned to visit haughty France,
'Twas armed with bearded dart, and pointed

No pompous pageants lured their curious eye,
No charms for them had fops or flattery;
Paris, they knew, their streamers waved a-

There Britons saw a Btitish Harry crowned.

Far other views attract our modern race,
Trulls, toupees, trinkets, bags, brocade, and

A flaunting form, and a fictitious face.
Rouse! Reassume! Refuse a Gallic reign !
Nor let their arts win that their arms could
never gain.



SCENE I.-MR. SUBrle's house.

Mrs. Sub. A rival,

Mr. Sub. Who?
Enter Mr. Classic and ROGER.

Mrs. Sub. The language master : he may be

easily equipt for the expedition ; a second-hand Rog, Old maister's at a coffee-house next tawdry suit of cloaths will pass bim on our counstreet, and will tarry till you send for 'un.

tryman for a marquis; and then to excuse his Class

. By-and-by'; in the dusk, bring him up speaking our language so well, he may have the back stairs. You must be careful that no- been educated early in England. But hush! body sees him.

The squire approaches ; don't seem to observe Rog. I warrant you.

him. Class. Let Sir John know that I would wait on him myself, but I dont think it safe to quit

Enter Buck. the house an instant. Rog. Ay, ay.

[Exit Roger. For my part, I never saw any thing so altered Class. I suppose by this time, matters are since I was born : In my conscience, I believe pretty well settled within, and my absence only she's in love with him.

Buck, Hush ! wanted to accomplish the scene; but I shall

(Aside. take care to-Oh! Mr. Subtle and his lady.

Mr. Sub. D'ye think so? [Exit Classic

Mrs. Sub. Why, where's the wonder? He's a

pretty, good-humoured, sprightly fellow : and, Enter MR, and Mrs. SUBTLE.

for thic time, such an improvement! Why, he

wears his clothes as easily, and moves as genMrs. Sub. Oh, delightfully! Now, my dearest, teelly, as if he had been at Paris these twenty I hope you will no longer dispute my abilities for years. formning a female?

Mr. Sub. Indeed! How does he dance s Mr. Sub. Never, never : How the baggage Mrs. Sub. Why, he has had but three lessons leered!

from Marseil, and he moves already like Duprè. Mrs. Sub. And the booby gaped !

Oh! three months stay here will render him a Mr. Sub. So kind, and yet so coy; so free, but perfect model for the English court! then so reserved : Oh, she has bim !

Mr. Sub. Gadso! No wonder, then, with these Mrs. Sub. Ay, ay; the fish is hooked: but qualities that he has caught the heart of my then safely to land him -Is Classic suspi- ward; but we must take care that the girl does cious!

nothing imprudent. Mr. Sub. Not that I observe; but the secret Mrs. Sub. Oh, dismiss your fears ; her family, must soon be blazed.

good sense, and, more than all, her being eduMrs. Sub. Therefore dispatch: I have laid a cated under my eye, render them unnecessary; trap to inflame bis affection.

besides, Mr. Buck is too much a man of honour Mr. Sub. How ?

Mrs Sub. He shall be treated with a display Buck, [He interrupts them.] Damn me if I of Lucy's talents; her singing and dancing. an't!

Mr. Sub. Psha! Her singing and dancing ! Mrs. Sub. Bless ine, sir ! you here? I did not

Mrs. Sub. Ah! You don't know, husband, expect-half the force of these accomplishments in a fa Buck. I beg pardon: but all that I heard shionable figure.

was, that Mr. Buck was a man of honour. I Mr. Sub. I doubt her execution.

wanted to have some chat with you, madam, in Mrs. Sub. You have no reason; she does both private. well enough to flatter a fool, especially with love Mr. Sub, Then I'll withdraw. You see I dare for her second : besides, I have a coup de maitre, trust you alone with my wife. a sure card.

Buck. So you may safely; I have other game Mr. Sub. What's that?

in view. Servant, Mr. Subtle.


Mrs. Sub. Now for a puzzling scene: I long to how the devil you got them. All that I wanted know how he'll begin. [Aside.}--Well, Mr. to say was, that Miss Lucy was a fine wench; Buck, your commands with me, sir?

and if she was as willing as meBuck. Why, madan-1, ah,-1, ah--but let's Mrs. Sub. Willing! Sir! What demonshut the door : I was, madam-ah! ah! Can't Buck. If you are in your airs again, I may as you guess what I want to talk about?

well decamp. Mrs. Sub. Not I, indeed, sir.

Mrs. Sub. I am calm ; go on. Buck. Well, but try; upon my soul, I'll tell Buck. Why, that if she liked me as well as I you if you are right.

liked her, we miglit, perhaps, if you liked it too, Mrs. Sub. It will be impossible for me to di- be married together. vine--But come, open a little.

Mrs. Sub. Oh, sir! if that was


your Buck. Why have you observed nothing? drift, I am satistied. But don't indulge your Mrs. Sub. About who?

wish to much; there are numerous obstacles; Buck. Why, about me.

your father's consent, the law of the landMrs. Sub. Yes; you are new dressed, and your Buck. What laws? clothes become you.

Mrs. Sub. All clandestine marriages are void Buck. Pretty well: but it an't that.

in this country. Mrs. Sub. What is it?

Buck. Damn this country !-In London now, Buck. Why, ah! ah ! upon my soul, I can't a footman may drive to May-fair, and in five bring it out!

minutes be tacked to a countess; but there's no Mírs. Sub. Nay, then, 'tis no purpose to wait: liberty here. write your mind.

Mirs. Sub. Some inconsiderate couples have Buck. No, no; stop a moment, and I will indeed yone off post to Protestant states ; but I tell.

hope my ward will have more prudence. Mrs. Sub. Be expeditious then.

Buck. Well, well, leave that to me. D'ye Buck. Why, I wanted to talk about Miss Lu- I think she likes me? cinda.

Mrs. Sub. Why to deal candidly with you, Mrs. Sub. What of her?

she does. Buck. She's a bloody fine girl; and I should Buck. Does she, bybe glad to

Mrs. Sub. Calm your transports. Mrs. Sub. To-Bless me! What, Mr. Buck, Buck. Well ! but how? She did not, did she? and in my house? Oh, Mr. Buck, you have de- Hey? Come now, tellceived me! Little did I think, that, under the

Mrs. Sub. I hear her coming; this is her hour appearance of so much honesty, you could go for music and dancing. to

Buck. Could I not have a peep? Buck. Upon my soul, you're mistaken !

MIrs. Sub. Withdraw to this corner. Mrs. Sub. A poor orphan too! deprived, in her earliest infancy, of a father's prudence and a Enter LUCINDA, with Gamut. mother's care. Buck. Why, I tell you,

Luc. The news, the news, Monsieur Gamut; Mrs. Sub. So sweet, so lovely an innocence! I die it I have not the first intelligence ! What's her mind as spotless as her person !

doing at Versailles? When goes the court to Buck. Hey-day!

Marlí? Does Rameau write the next opera? Mrs. Sub. And me, sir; where had you your What say the critics of Voltaire's Duke de Foix? thoughts of me? How dared you suppose that I - Answer me all in a breath. would connive at such a

Buck. A brave spirited girl! She'll take a Buck. The woman is bewitched.

five-barred gate in a fortnight. Mrs. Sub. I! whose untainted reputation the Gam. The conversation of the court your lablistering tongue of slander never blasted. Full dyship has engrossed, ever since you last honourfifteen years, in wedlock's sacred bands, have led it with your appearance. lived unreproached ; and now to

Luc. Oh, you flatterer! have I ? Well, and Buck. Odd's fury! She's in heroics.

what fresh victims? But it is impossible; the Mrs. Sub. And this from you too, whose fair sunshine of a northern beauty is too feeble to outside and bewitching tongue had so far lulled thaw the icy heart of a French courtier. my fears, I dared have trusted all my daughters, Gam. What injustice to your own charms and nay myself too, singly, with you.

our discernment ! Buck. Upon my soul, and so you might safely. Luc. Indeed! nay, I care not—if I have fire Mrs. Sub. Well, sir, and what have you to enough to warm one British bosom, rule ! rule! your defence?

ye Paris belles ! I envy not your conquests. Buck. Oh, oh! What, you are got pretty well Mrs. Sub. Meaning you. to the end of your line, are you? And now, if Buck. Indeed ! you'll be quiet a bit, we may make a shift to un Mrs. Sub. Certain ! derstand one another a little.

Buck. Hush! Mrs. Sub. Be quick, and ease me of my fears. Luc. But come, a truce to gallantry, Gamut, Buck. Ease you of your fears! I don't know I and to the business of the day. Oh! I am quite

urge in



enchanted with this new instrument; 'tis so lan- | and sing, and drive care to the Ha! guishing and so portable, and so soft and so silly Monsieur Kitteau! have you practised this morn- But come! for your last lesson. Gam. D’ye like the words?

Luc. I had just given my hand to Kitteau beLuc. Oh, charming! They are so melting, fore you came. and easy, and elegant. Now for a coup d'essui. Mar. I was in hopes that honour would have

Gam. Take care of your expression; let your been reserved for me. May I Aatter myself that eyes

and address accoinpany the sound and sen- your ladyship will do me the honour of venturtiment.

ing upon the fatigue of another minuet this Luc. But, dear Gamut, if I am out, don't in- morning with me? terrupt me ; correct me afterwards. Gam. Allons, commencez. (LUCINDA sings. Enter Buck briskly Takes her hand. [ In occasional song is here introduced by LUCINDA.]

Buck. Not that you know of, Monsieur, Gam. Bravo, bravo !

Mar. Hey! Diable ! Quelle bete! Buck. Bravo! bravissimo! My lady, what was

Buck. Harkye, Monsieur Ragout, if you rethe song about? [Aside to MRS. SUBTLE. peat that word bete, I shall make you swallow Mrs. Sub. Love : 'tis her own composing.

it again, as I did last night one of your countryBuck. What, does she make verses then? Mrs. Sub. Finely. I take you to be the sub

Mar. Quelle savage ! ject of these.

Buck. And another word; as I know you can Buck. Ah! d'ye think so? Gad! I thought speak very good English, if you will, when you by her ogling, 'twas the music-man himself.

don't, I shall take it for granted you're abusing Luc. Well, Mr. Gamut; tolerably well, for so me, and treat you accordingly. young a scholar?

Mar. Cavalier enough! But you are protected Gam. Inimitably, Madam! Your ladyship's here. Mademoiselle, who is this officious gentleprogress will undoubtably fix my fortune.

man? How comes he to be interested? Some

relation, I suppose? Enter Servant.

Buck. No; I'in a lover.

Mar. Oh! Oh! a rival ! Eh marbleu ! a danLuc. Your servant, sir.

gerous one too. Ha, ha! Well, Monsieur, what, Ser. Madam, your dancing-master, Monsieur and I suppose you presume to give laws to this Kitteau.

lady; and are determined, out of your very Luc. Admit him.

great and singular affection, to knock down eve

ry mortal she likes, a-la-mode d'Angleterre ? Enter KuTEAU.

Hey, Monsieur Roast-beet?

Buck. No; but I intend that lady for my Monsieur Kitteau, I can't possibly take a lesson wife : consider her as such; and don't choose to this morning, I am so busy; but if you please, have her soiled by the impertinent addresses of I'll just hobble over a minuet, by way of exer- every French fop, a-la-mode de Paris, Monsieur cise. (A minuet here introduced.


Mar. Fricassy!
Enter Servant.

Buck. We.
Ser. Monsieur le Marquis de-

Luc. A truce, a truce, I beseech you, gentleLuc. Admit him this instant.

men : it seems I am the golden prize for which Mrs. Sub. A lover of Lucinda! a Frenchman you plead; produce your pretensions ; you are of fashion, and vast fortune.

the representatives of your respective countries. Back. Never heed; I'll soon do his business, Begin, marquis, for the honour of France; let I'll warrant you,

me hear what advantages I am to derive from a

conjugal union with you. Enter MARQUIS.

İlar. Abstracted from those which I think

are pretty visible, a perpetual residence in this Luc. My dear Marquis !

paradise of pleasures; to be the object of uniMar. Ma chere adorable ! -'Tis an age versal adoration; to say what you please, go since I saw you.

where you will, do what you like, form fashions; Luc. Oh! an eternity! But 'tis your own hate your husband, and let him see it; indulge fault, though.

your gallant, and let the other know it; run in Mar. My misfortune, ma princesse ! But now debt, and oblige the poor devil to pay it. He! I'll redeem my error, and root for ever here. Ma chere! There are pleasures for you.

Buck. I shall make a shift to transplant you, Luc, Bravo, marquis! these are allurements I believe.

for a woman of spirit: but don't let us conclude Luc. You can't conceive how your absence hastily; hear the other side. What have you to has distressed me. Demand of these gentlemen offer, Mr. Buck, in favour of England? the melancholy mood of my mind.

Buck. Why, madam, for a woman of spirit, Aur. But now that I'm arrived, we'll dance they give you the satne adrantages at London as

« PreviousContinue »