ed up his nose, and called me bete: Ecod, I lent him a lick in his lanthorn jaws, that will make him remember the spawn of old Marlborough, I warrant him. Another came up to second him; but I let drive at the mark, made the Soup-maigre rumble in his bread-basket, and laid him sprawling! Then in poured a million of them; I was knocked down in a trice; and what happened after, I know no more than you. But where's Lucy? I'll go see her. Class. Oh fie! ladies are treated here with a little more ceremony: Mr. Subtle, too, has collected these people, who are to equip you for the conversation of the ladies. Buck. Wounds! all these? What, Mr. Subtle, these are monsieurs too, I suppose? Mr. Sub. No, squire, they are Englishmen: fashion has ordained, that, as you employ none but foreigners at home, you must take up with your own countrymen here. Dauph. To work for all the beaux esprits of the court. My good fortune commenced by a small alteration in a cut of the corner of the sleeve for Count Crib; but the addition of a ninth plait in the skirt of Marshal Tonerre was applauded by Madam la Duchess Rambouillet, and totally established the reputation of your humble servant. Buck. Hold your jaw, and dispatch. Mr. Sub. A word with you-I don't think it impossible to get you acquainted with Madam de Rambouillet. Buck. An't she a papist? Mr. Sub. Undoubtedly. Buck. Then I'll ha' nothing to say to her. Mr. Sub. Oh fie! who minds the religion of a pretty woman? Besides, all this country are of the same. Buck. For that reason I don't care how soon I get out of it: Come, let's get rid of you as soon as we can. And what are you, hey? Bar. Je suis peruquier, Monsieur. Buck. Speak English, you son of a whore! Buek. Then why could not you say so at first? Class. It is not in this instance alone we are particular, Mr. Subtle; I have observed many of our pretty gentlemen, who condescend to use entirely their native language here, sputter nothing but bad French in the side-boxes at home. Buck. Look you, sir; as to you, and your wife, and Miss Lucy, I like you all well enough; but the devil a good thing else have I seen since I lost sight of Dover. The men are all Bar. As I found you where in a hurry, I have puppies, mincing and dancing, and chattering, brought you, sir, something that will do for the and grinning: the women are a parcel of paint-present: But a peruque is a different ouvrage, ed dolls; their food's fit for hogs; and as for another sort of a thing here from what it is en their language, let them learn it that like it, Angleterre; we must consult the colour of the I'll none on't; no, nor their frippery neither complexion, and the tour de visage, the form of So here you may all march to the place from the face; for which end it will be necessary to whence you-Harkye! What, are you an En-regard your countenance in different lights: A glishman? little to the right if you please. Bur. Yes, sir. Buck. Domine! look here, what a monster the monkey has made of himself?—Sirrah, if your string was long enough, I'd do your business myself, you dog, to sink a bold Briton into such a sneaking, snivelling-the rascal looks as he had not had a piece of beef and pudding in his paunch these twenty years. I'll be hanged if the rogue han't been fed on frogs ever since he came over! Away with your trumpery! Class. Mr. Buck, a compliance with the customs of the country in which we live, where neither our religion nor our morals are concerned, is a duty we owe ourselves. Mr. Sub. Besides, squire, Lucinda expects that you should usher her to public places; which it would be impossible to do in that dress. Buck. Why you dog, d'ye think I'll submit to be exercised by you? Bar. Oh mon Dieu! Monsieur, if you don't, it will be impossible to make your wig comme il faut. Buck. Sirrah, speak another French word, and I'll kick you down stairs. Bar. Gad's curse! Would you resemble some of your countrymen, who, at the first importation, with nine hairs of a side to a brawny pair of cheeks, look like a Saracen's head! Or else their water-gruel jaws, sunk in a thicket of curls, appear for all the world like a lark in a soupdish! Mr. Sub. Come, squire, submit ; 'tis but for Mr. Sub. Upon my honour, dress greatly im- | Dover packet arrived last night, loaded as folproves you! Your opinion, Mr. Classic? lows: Six tailors, ditto barbers; five milliners, bound to Paris to study fashions; four citizens come to settle here for a month, by way of see Class. They do mighty well, sir; and in a little time Mr. Buck will be easy in them. Buck. Shall 1? I am glad on't, for I am dam-ing the country; ditto, their wives; ten French nably uneasy at present, Mr. Subtle. What must I do now? Mr. Sub. Now, sir, if you'll call upon my wife, you'll find Lucinda with her, and I'll wait on you presently. Buck. Come along, Domine! But harkye, Mr. Subtle, I'il out of my trammels when I hunt with the king. Mr. Sub. Well, well. valets, with nine cooks, all from Newgate, where they had been sent for robbing their mas ters; nine figure dancers, exported in Septemher, ragged and lean, imported well clad, and in good case; twelve dogs, ditto bitches, with two monkeys, and a litter of puppies, from Mother Midnight's, in the Hay-market a precious cargo! Postscript. One of the coasters is just put in, with his grace the duke of Buck. I'll on with my jemmies; none of your my lord, and an old gentleman whose name i black bags and jack-boots for me. Mr. Sub. No, no. can't learn!— Buck. I'll show them the odds on't, old Silver- Gadso! Well, my dear, I must run, and try to tail! I will. Hey? secure these customers; there's no time to be lost. [Exit. Mr. Sub. Ay, ay. Buck. Hedge, stake, or stile, over we go! Buck. Did I tell you what a chase she carried hounds and horses. Mr. Sub. Have you? Buck. They shall make the tour of Europe with me and then there's Tom Atkins the huntsman, the two whippers-in, and little Joey the groom, comes with them. Damme, what a strange place they'll think this! But no matter for that; then we shall be company enough of ourselves. But you'll follow us in? [Exit. Mr. Sub. In ten minutes-an impertinent jackanapes! But I shall soon have done with him. So, gentlemen; well, you see we have a good subject to work upon. Harkye, Dauphine, I must have more than twenty per cent out of that suit. Rog. I'll warrant you. [Exit. Dauph. Upon my soul, Mr. Subtle, I can't! Class. But, Roger, be secret. Mr. Sub. Why, I have always that upon new. Rog. O lud! never you fear. Dauph. New, sir! why, as I hope to be Mr. Sub. Come don't lie; don't damn your-pretty lodging we have hit upon; the mistress a Class. So, Mr. Subtle, I see your aim. A self, Dauphine; don't be a rogue; did not I see at Madam Fripon's, that waistcoat and sleeves upon Colonel Crambo? Dauph. As to the waistcoat and sleeves, I own; but for the body and lining-may I never this ward be? Possibly the neglected punk of fathers. They scorn to truck, for base unmanly arts, Whene'er they deigned to visit haughty France, 'Twas armed with bearded dart, and pointed lance. No pompous pageants lured their curious eye, No charms for them had fops or flattery; Paris, they knew, their streamers waved around, There Britons saw a Btitish Harry crowned. Far other views attract our modern race, Trulls, toupees, trinkets, bags, brocade, and lace; A flaunting form, and a fictitious face. Rouse! Reassume! Refuse a Gallic reign! Nor let their arts win that their arms could never gain. [Exit. ACT II. SCENE I.-MR. SUBTLE's house. Enter MR. CLASSIC and ROGER. Rog, Old maister's at a coffee-house next street, and will tarry till you send for 'un. Class. By-and-by; in the dusk, bring him up the back stairs. You must be careful that nobody sees him. Rog. I warrant you. Class. Let Sir John know that I would wait on him myself, but I dont think it safe to quit the house an instant. Rog. Ay, ay. [Exit ROGER. Class. I Suppose by this time, matters are pretty well settled within, and my absence only wanted to accomplish the scene; but I shall take care to- -Oh! Mr. Subtle and his lady. [Exit CLASSIC. Enter MR, and MRS. SUBTLE. Mrs. Sub. Oh, delightfully! Now, my dearest, I hope you will no longer dispute my abilities for forming a female? Mr. Sub. Never, never: How the baggage leered! Mrs. Sub. And the booby gaped! Mr. Sub. So kind, and yet so coy; so free, but then so reserved: Oh, she has bim! Mrs. Sub. Ay, ay; the fish is hooked: but then safely to land him- Is Classic suspi cious? Mr. Sub. Not that I observe; but the secret must soon be blazed. Buck. Hush! Mr. Sub. D'ye think so? [Aside. Mrs. Sub. Why, where's the wonder? He's a pretty, good-humoured, sprightly fellow and, for the time, such an improvement! Why, he wears his clothes as easily, and moves as genteelly, as if he had been at Paris these twenty years. Mr. Sub. Indeed! How does he dance? Mrs. Sub. Why, he has had but three lessons from Marseil, and he moves already like Duprè. Oh! three months stay here will render him a perfect model for the English court! Mr. Sub. Gadso! No wonder, then, with these qualities that he has caught the heart of my ward; but we must take care that the girl does nothing imprudent. Mrs. Sub. Oh, dismiss your fears; her family, good sense, and, more than all, her being eduMrs. Sub. Therefore dispatch: I have laid a cated under my eye, render them unnecessary; trap to inflame his affection. Mr. Sub. How? besides, Mr. Buck is too much a man of honour Mrs. Sub. Now for a puzzling scene: I long to know how he'll begin.[Aside.]—Well, Mr. Buck, your commands with me, sir? Buck. Why, madan-I, ah,-I, ah-but let's shut the door: I was, madam-ah! ah! Can't you guess what I want to talk about? Mrs. Sub. Not I, indeed, sir. Buck. Well, but try; upon my soul, I'll tell you if you are right. Mrs. Sub. It will be impossible for me to divine-But come, open a little. Buck. Why have you observed nothing? Buck. Why, about me. Mrs. Sub. Yes; you are new dressed, and your clothes become you. Buck. Pretty well: but it an't that. Mrs. Sub. What is it? Mrs. Sub. Be expeditious then. Mrs. Sub. All clandestine marriages are void in this country. Buck. Damn this country!-In London now, a footman may drive to May-fair, and in five minutes be tacked to a countess; but there's no liberty here. Mrs. Sub. Some inconsiderate couples have indeed gone off post to Protestant states; but I hope my ward will have more prudence. Buck. Well, well, leave that to me. D'ye Buck. Why, I wanted to talk about Miss Lu- think she likes me? Buck. Hey-day! Mrs. Sub. And me, sir; where had you your thoughts of me? How dared you suppose that I would connive at such a Buck. The woman is bewitched. Mrs. Sub. I! whose untainted reputation the blistering tongue of slander never blasted. Full fifteen years, in wedlock's sacred bands, have I lived unreproached; and now to Buck. Odd's fury! She's in heroics. Mrs. Sub. And this from you too, whose fair outside and bewitching tongue had so far lulled my fears, I dared have trusted all my daughters, nay myself too, singly, with you. Buck. Upon my soul, and so you might safely. Mrs. Sub. Well, sir, and what have you to urge in your defence? Buck. Oh, oh! What, you are got pretty well to the end of your line, are you? And now, if you'll be quiet a bit, we may make a shift to understand one another a little. Mrs. Sub. Be quick, and ease me of my fears. Buck. Ease you of your fears! I don't know Enter LUCINDA, with GAMUT. Luc. The news, the news, Monsieur Gamut; I die if I have not the first intelligence! What's doing at Versailles? When goes the court to Marli? Does Rameau write the next opera ? What say the critics of Voltaire's Duke de Foix? -Answer me all in a breath. Buck. A brave spirited girl! She'll take a five-barred gate in a fortnight. Gam. The conversation of the court your ladyship has engrossed, ever since you last honoured it with your appearance. Luc. Oh, you flatterer! have I? Well, and what fresh victims? But it is impossible; the sunshine of a northern beauty is too feeble to thaw the icy heart of a French courtier. Gam. What injustice to your own charms and our discernment! Luc. Indeed! nay, I care not-if I have fire enough to warm one British bosom, rule! rule! ye Paris belles! I envy not your conquests. Mrs. Sub. Meaning you. Buck. Indeed! Mrs. Sub. Certain ! Buck. Hush! Luc. But come, a truce to gallantry, Gamut, and to the business of the day. Oh! I am quite Luc. But, dear Gamut, if I am out, don't interrupt me; correct me afterwards. Gam. Allons, commencez. [LUCINDA Sings. [In occasional song is here introduced by LUCINDA.] Gam. Bravo, bravo! Buck. Bravo! bravissimo! My lady, what was the song about? [Aside to MRS. SUBTLE. Mrs. Sub. Love: 'tis her own composing. Buck. What, does she make verses then? Mrs. Sub. Finely. I take you to be the subject of these. Buck. And another word; as I know you can speak very good English, if you will, when you don't, I shall take it for granted you're abusing some, and treat you accordingly. Buck. Ah! d'ye think so? Gad! I thought by her ogling, 'twas the music-man himself. Luc. Well, Mr. Gamut; tolerably well, for young a scholar? Gam. Inimitably, Madam! Your ladyship's progress will undoubtably fix my fortune. Enter Servant. Luc. Your servant, sir. Mar. Cavalier enough! But you are protected here. Mademoiselle, who is this officious gentle man? How comes he to be interested? Some relation, I suppose? Buck. No; I'm a lover. Mar. Oh! Oh! a rival! Eh marbleu ! a dangerous one too. Ha, ha! Well, Monsieur, what, Ser. Madam, your dancing-master, Monsieur and I suppose you presume to give laws to this Kitteau. lady; and are determined, out of your very great and singular affection, to knock down every mortal she likes, a-la-mode d' Angleterre ? Hey, Monsieur Roast-beef? Buck. No; but I intend that lady for my wife: consider her as such; and don't choose to have her soiled by the impertinent addresses of every French fop, a-la-mode de Paris, Monsieur Fricassy! the Mar. Fricassy! Buck. We. Luc. A truce, a truce, I beseech you, gentlemen: it seems I am the golden prize for which you plead; produce your pretensions; you are representatives of your respective countries. Begin, marquis, for the honour of France; let me hear what advantages I am to derive from a conjugal union with you. Mar. Abstracted from those which I think are pretty visible, a perpetual residence in this paradise of pleasures; to be the object of universal adoration; to say what you please, go where you will, do what you like, form fashions; hate your husband, and let him see it; indulge your gallant, and let the other know it; run in debt, and oblige the poor devil to pay it. He! Ma chere! There are pleasures for you. Luc. Bravo, marquis! these are allurements for a woman of spirit: but don't let us conclude hastily; hear the other side. What have you to offer, Mr. Buck, in favour of England? Buck. Why, madam, for a woman of spirit, they give you the same advantages at London as |