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stance has a good deal engaged my attention;, cure. Well, sir, have you digested those general and I believe you will admit my method of sol- rules. ving the phenomenon philosophical and ingeni- Sir Rog. Pr-ett-y well, I am obli-ged to ous enough.
you, sir Thomas. Puff. Without question.
Sir Tho. Have you been regular in taking All. Doubtless.
your tincture of sage, to give you confidence for Sir Tho. I suppose, gentlemen, my memory, speaking in public? or mind, to be a chest of drawers, a kind of Sir Rog. Y-es, Sir Thomas. bureau ; where, in separate cellules, my different Sir Tho. Did you open at the last general knowledge on different subjects is stored.
court? Rust. A prodigious discovery!
Sir Rog. I attempted fo—ur or five All. Amazing!
times. Sir Tho, To this cabinet, volition, or will, Sir Tho. What hindered your progress? has a key; so, when an arduous subject occurs, Sir Rog. The pe-b—bles. I unluck my bureau, pull out the particular Sir Tho. Oh, the pebbles in his mouth, But drawer, and am supplied with what I want in an they are only put in to practise in private ; you instant.
should take them out, when you are addressing Dac. A Malbranch!
the public. Puff. A Boyle!
Sir Rog. Yes; I will for the future. All. A Locke!
Sir Tho. Well, Mr. Rust, you had a tete-a-tete
with my neice. A-propos. Mr. Bever, here offers Enter Servant.
a fine occasion for you; we shall take the liberty Ser. Mr. Bever.
(Exit. to trouble your Muse on their nuptials : 0, Sir Tho. A young gentleman from Oxford, Love ! O, Hymen !here prune thy purple recommended to my care, by his father. The wings; trim thy bright torch! Hey, Mr. Bever? university has given him a good solid Doric foun- Bev. My talents are at Sir Thomas Lofty's dation; and when he has received from you a direction: though I must despair of producing few Tuscan touches, the lonic and Corinthian any performance worthy the attention of so comgraces, I make no doubt but he will prove a plete a judge of the elegant arts. Composite pillar to the republic of letters. Sir Tho. Too modest, good Mr. Bever !
Well, Mr. Rust, any new acquisition, since our Enter Bever.
last meeting, to your matchless collection? This, sir, is the school, from whence so many Rust. Why, Sir Thomas, I have both lost and capital masters have issued; the river that en- gained, since I saw you. riches the regions of science,
Sir Tho. Lost! I am sorry for that. Dac. Of which river, Sir Thomas, you are the Rust. The curious sarcophagus, that was sent source; here we quatt! Et
me from Naples by Signior Belloninectar!
Sir Tho. You mean the urn, that was suppoSir Tho. Purpureo! Delicate, indeed, Mr. sed to contain the dust of Agrippa! Dactyl. Do you hear, Mr. Bever? Bibimus ore Rust, Supposed ! no doubt but it did. nectar. You young gentleman must be instruc- Sir Tho. I hope no sinister accident to that ted to quote; nothing gives a period more spirit | inestimable relict of Rome? than a happy quotation, nor has, indeed, a finer
Rust. Tis gone. effect at the head of an essay. Poor Dick Steel ! Sir Tho. Gone! oh, illiberal! what, stolen, I I have obliged him with many, a motto for his suppose, by some connoisseur ? fugitive pieces.
Rust. Worse, worse; a prey, a martyr to igPuff: 'Ay; and with the contents, too, or Sir norance; a housemaid, that I hired last week, Richard is foully belied,
mistook it for a broken green chamber-pot, and
sent it away in the dust cart. Enter Servant,
Sir Tho. She merits impaling:
-Oh, the Ser. Sir Roger Dowlas.
Hun ! Sir Tho. Pray, desire him to enter. (Exit Ser- Dac. The Vandal! pant.] Sir Roger, gentlemen, is a considerable All. The Visigoth! East India proprietor; and seems desirous of Rust. But I have this day acquired a treacollecting, from this learned assembly, some sure, that will, in some measure, make me arhetorical flowers, which he hopes to strew, with mends. honour to himself, and advantage to the company,
Sir Tho. Indeed! what can that be? at Merchant-Tailor's Hall.
Puff. That must be something curious, in
deed! Enter Sir Roger DowLAS,
Rust. It has cost me infinite trouble to get it. Sir Roger, be seated. This gentleman has, in Duc, Great rarities are not to be had without common with the greatest orator the world ever pains. saw, a small natural infirmity; he stutters a lit- Rust. It is thrce months ago, since I got the tle: but I have prescribed the saine remedy that first scent of it ; and I had been ever since on Demosthenes used, and don't despair of a radical | the hunt, but all to no purpose.
Sir Tho. I am quite upon thorns till I see it. I am now going to trust you with the most impor
Rust. And yesterday, when I had given it tant secret of my whole life. over, when all my hopes were grown desperate, Bev. Your confidence does me great honour. it fell into my hands by the most unexpected Sir Tho. But this must be on a certain condiand wonderful accident.
tion. Sir Tho. Quod optanti didum promittere nemo Bev. Name it.
Auderet, volvendu dies en attulit ul- Sir Tho. That you give me your solemn protro.
mise to comply with one request I shall make Mr. Bever, you mark my quotation?
you. Ber. Most happy. Oh, sir, nothing you say Beo. There is nothing Sir Thomas Lofty can can be lost.
ask, that I shall not cheerfully grant. Rust. I have brought it here in my pocket: I Sir Tho. Nay, in fact, it will be serving youram no churl; I love to pleasure my friends. self.
Sir Thu. You are, Mr. Rust, extremely obli- Beo. I want no such inducement. ging.
Sir Tho. Enough, But we can't be too priAll. Very kind, very obliging, indeed. vate. [Shuts the door.] Sit you down. Your Rust. It was not much hurt by the fire. Christian name, I think, isSir Tho. Very fortunate.
Beo. Richard. Rust. The edges are soiled by the link, but Sir Tho. True; the same as your father's : many
of the letters are exceedingly legible. come, let us be familiar. It is, I think, dear Sir Rog. A lit-tle room, if you please. Dick, acknowledged, that the English bave reach
Rust. Here it is; the precious remains of the ed the highest pitch of perfection in every devery North-Briton, that was burnt at the Royal-partment of writing but one-the dramatic? Exchange
Bev. Why, the French critics are a little seSir Tho. Number forty-five? Rust. The saine.
Sir Tho. And with reason. Now to rescue Bev. You are a lucky man, Mr. Rust. our credit, and, at the same time give n.y coun
Rust. I think so. But, gentlemen, I hope I try a model, [Shews a manuscript.] see here. need not gire you a caution: hush! silence ! no Bev. A play! words on this matter.
Sir Tho. A chef d'auvre. Dac. You may depend upon us.
Beo. Your own. Rust. For as the paper has :not suffered the Sir Tho. Speak lower. I am the author. Inw, I don't know whether they may not seize it Beo. Nay, then there can be no doubt of its again.
merit. Sir Tho. With us you are safe, Mr. Rust.--- Sir Tho. I think not. You will he charmed Well, young gentleman, you see we cultivate all with the subject. branches of science.
Beo. What is it, Sir Thomas ? Ber. Amazing indeed! But, when we consi- Sir Tho. I shall surprise you. The story of der you, Sir Thomas, as the directing, the ruling Robinson Crusoe. Are not you struck? planet, our wonder subsides in an instant. Ben. Most prodigiously! Science first saw the day, with Socrates in the Sir Tho. Yes; I knew the very title would bit Attic portico; her early years were spent with you. You will find the whole fable is finely conTully in the Tusculan shade; but her ripe, ma- ducted; and the character of Friday, qualis ab turer hours, she enjoys with Sir Thomas Lofty, incepto, nobly supported throughout. near Cavevdish-square.
Bev. A pretty difficult task. Sir Tho. The most classical compliment I ever Sir Tho. True ; that was not a bow for a boy. received ! Gentlemen, a philosophical repast at- The piece has long been in rehearsal at Drurytends your acceptance within. Sir Roger, you'll Lane play-house, and this night is to make its lead the way. [Ereunt all but Sir Thomas and appearance. Bever.) Mr. Bever, may I beg your ear for a Beo. To-night. moment? Mr. Bever, the friendship I have for Sir Tho. This night. your fatber, secured you, at first, a gracious re- Beo. I will attend, and engage all my friends ception from me; but what I then paid to an to support it. old obligation, is now, sir, due to your own par- Sir Tho. That is not my purpose; the piece ticular merit.
will want no such assistance. Beo. I am happy, Sir Thomas, if
Beo. I beg pardon. Sir Tho. Your patience. There is in you, Mr. Sir Tho. The manager of that house (who, Bever, a fire of imagination, a quickness of ap- you know, is a writer binnself), finding all the aprehension, a solidity of judgment, joined to a nonymous things he produced (indeed some of depth of discretion, that I never yet met with in them wretched enough, and very unworthy of any subject at your time of life.
him) placed to his account by the public, is deBeo. I hope I shall never forfeit
termined to exhibit no more without knowing Sir Tho. I am sure you never will: and to the name of the author. give you a convincing proof that I think so, I Bev. A reasonable caution.
Sir Tho. Now, upon my promise (for I appear | apt to think it an occupation ill suited to my to patronise the play) to announce the author be time of life. fore the curtain draws up, Robinson Crusoe is Beo. Their censure is praise. advertised for this evening.
Sir Tho. Doubtless. But, indeed, my princiBev. Oh, then you will acknowledge the piece pal motive is my friendship for you. You are now to be yours?
a candidate for literary honours, and I am deterSir Tho. No.
mined to fix your fame on an immoveable basis. Bev. How, then?
Bev. You are most excessively kind; but Sir Tho. My design is to give it to you. there is something so disingenuous in stealing reBev. To me?
putation from another man. Sir Tho. To you.
Sir Tho. Idle punctilio! Beo. What! me the author of Robinson Beo. It puts me so in mind of the daw in the Crusoe?
fable. Sir Tho. Ay.
Sir Tho. Come, come, dear Dick, I won't sufBeo. Lord, Sir Thomas, it will never gain cre- fer your modesty to murder your fame. But dit! so complete a production the work of a the company will suspect something; we will stripling! Besides, sir, as the merit is yours, join them, and proclaim you the author. There, why rob yourself of the glory!
keep the copy; to you I consign it for ever; it Sir Tho. I am entirely indifferent to that. shall be a secret to latest posterity. You will Bed. Then, why take the trouble.
be smothered with praise by our friends; they Sir Tho. My fondness for letters, and love of shall all in their bark to the play-house; and my country. Besides, dear Dick, though the there, pauci el selecti, the chosen few, know the full
Attendant sail, value of a performance like this, yet the igno- Pursue the triumph, and partake the gale. rant, the profane (by much the majority) will be
Beo. He has reason; for fatherly fondness
Jul. I don't understand you.
Beo. You don't.
Jul. No. Bed. So ends the first act. Come, now for Bev. Nay,Juliet, this is too much : you know the second. “ Act the second. showing,'—the iti, none of my play. coxcomb has prefaced every act with an argu- Jul. Whose then? ment, too, in humble imitation, I warrant, of Bev. Your uncle's. Mons. Diderot-Showing the fatal effects of Jul. My uncle's! Then how, in the name of disobedience to parents :' with, I suppose, the wonder, came you to adopt it? diverting scene of a gibbet; an entertaining sub- Bev. At his earnest request. I may be a fool; ject for comedy! And the blockhead is as pro- but remember, madam, you are the cause. lix! every scene as long as an homily! Let us see Jul. This is strange; but I can't conceive how does this end? • Exit Crusoe, and enter what his motive could be. some savages dancing a saraband. There is no
Bev. His motive is obvious enough; to screen bearing this abominable trash.
bimiself from the infamy of being the author.
Jul. What, is it bad, then?
Bev. Bad! most infernal!
Jul. And you have consented to own it? So, madam; thanks to your advice and direction,
Bev. Why, what could I do? Ile in a manner I am got into a fine situation.
compelled me. Jul. What is the matter now, Mr. Bever?
Jul. I am extremely glad of it. Bed. The Robinson Crusoe.
Bev. Glad of it! Why, I tell you 'tis the most Jul. Oh, the play, that is to be acted to-night. dull, tedious, melancholy
Jul. So much the better. How secret you were! Who, in the world, would have guessed you was the author?
Bev. The most flat piece of frippery that ever
Jul. So much the better.
before subject is good.
Jul. So much the better.
Bev. And I shall be hooted and pointed at
wherever I go. loud in the praise of your piece; but I think
my uncle rather more eager than any.
Jul. So much the better.
author; if it fails, I am concealed; and my fame Bev. So much the better! Zounds! so I sup- suffers, no-There he is-[Loud knocking.}-I pose you would say, if i was going to be hanged. can't conceive what kept him so long. Do you call this a mark of friendship? Jul. Ah, Bever, Bever! You are a miserable
Enter John. politician: do you know, now, that this is the luckiest incident that ever occurred ?
So, John; well; and--but you have been a Beo, Indeed !
monstrous while. Jul. It could not have been better laid, had John. Sir, I was wedged so close in the pit, we planned it ourselves.
that I could scarcely get out. Bev. You will pardon my want of conception; Sir Tho. The house was full, then ? but these are riddles.
John. As an egg, sir. Jul. That at present I have not time to ex- Sir Tho. That's right. Well, John, and did plain. But what makes you loitering here? Past matters go swimmingly? Hey? six o'clock, as I live! why your play is begun; John. Exceedingly well, sir. run, run, to the bouse. Was ever author so lita
Sir Tho. Exceedingly well. I don't doubt it. tle anxious for the fate of his piece!
What, vast clapping and roars of applause, I supBev. My piece!
pose. Jul. Sir Thomas ! I know him by his walk.- John. Very well, sir. Fly! and pray all the way for the fall of your Sir Tho. Very well, sir! You are damned cosplay. And, do you hear? if you find the audience tive, I think. But did not the pit and boxes too indulgent, inclined to be milky, rather than thunder again? fail, squeeze in an acid yourself. Oh, Mr. Bever, John. I can't say there was over-much thunat your return, let me see you before you go to der. my uncle ; that is if you have the good luck to Sir Tho. No! Oh, attentive, I reckon ? Ay, be damned.
attention ; that is the true, solid, substantial apBeo. You need not doubt that. [Exit. plause. All else may be purchased; hands move
as they are bid : but when the audience is bushEnter Sir THOMAS Lofty.
ed, still, afraid of losing a word, thenSir Tho. So, Juliet; was not that Mr. Bever? John. Yes; they were very quiet, indeed, sir. Jul. Yes, sir.
Sir Tho. I like them the better, John; a Sir Tho. He is rather tardy; by this time his strong mark of their great sensibility. Did y you cause is come on. And how is the young gen- see Robin? man affected ? For this is a trying occasion. John. Yes sir, he'll be here in a trice; I left Jul. lle seems pretty certain, sir.
him listening at the back of the boxes, and charSir Tho. Indeed I think he has very little ged him to make all the hasie home that he reason for fear. I confess I admire the piece, could. and feel as much for its fate, as if the work was Sir Tho. That's right, John ; very well; your my own.
account pleases me much, honest John.-[Exit Jul. That I most sincerely believe. I wonder, Joun.]-No, I did not expect the first act would sir, you did not choose to be present.
produce any prodigious effect. And, after all, Sir Tho. Better not. My affections are strong, the first act is but a mere introduction : just Juliet, and my nerves but tenderly strung : opens the business, the plot, and gives a little however, intelligent people are planted, who insight into the characters : so that, if you but will bring me, every act, a faithful account of engage and interest the house it is as much as
the best writer can flatt-[Knocking without.}Júl. That will answer your purpose as well. Gadso! What, Robin already? why the fellow
Sir Tho. Indeed I am passionately fond of has the feet of a Mercury. the arts, and therefore can't help
-did not somebody knock? No. My good girl will you
Enter Robin. step and take care that, when any body comes, Well, Robin, and what news do you bring ? the servants inay not be out of the way ?-[Exit Rob. I, I, IJuliet.}--Five-and-thirty minutes past six; by Sir Tho. Stop, Robin, and recover your breath. this time the first act must be over: John will --Now, Robin. be presently here. I think it can't fail: yet there Rob. There has been a woundy uproar beis so much whim and caprice in the public opi- low. nion, that this young man is unknown; they'll Sir Tho. An uproar! What, at the plasgive him no credit. I had better have owned it house? myself: reputation goes a great way in these matters ; people are afraid to find fault; they Sir Tho. At what? are cautious in censuring the works of a man Rob. I don't know: belike, at the words the who,--Hush! that's he: no; 'tis only the shut- play folk were talking. ters. After all, I think I have chosen the best Sir Tho. At the players ? How can that be? way; for if it succeeds to the degree I expect, it Oh, now I begin to perceive. Poor fellow he will be easy to circulate the real name of the I knows but little about plays : What, Robin, I
suppose, hallooing, and clapping, and knocking Sir Tho. Yes, yes; I have been told it before. of sticks?
Dac. I confess I did not suspect it; but there Rob. Hallooing! ay, and hooting too. is no knowing wbat effect these things will bave Sir Tho. And hooting?
till they come on the stage. Rob. Ay, and hissing to boot.
Rust. For iny part, I don't know much of Sir Tho. Hissing! you must be mistaken? these matters ; but a couple of gentlemen near Rob. By the mass, but I am not !
me, who seemed sagacious enough too, declared, Sir Tho. Impossible! Oh, most likely some that it was the vilest stuff they ever had hearrl, drunken disorderly fellows, that were disturbing and wondered the players would act it. the house, and interupting the play: too common Dac. Yes : I don't remember to have seen a case; the people were right, they deserved a more general dislike. a rebuke. Did not you here them cry out, out, Puff. I was thinking to ask you, Sir Thomas, out!
for your interest with Mr. Bever, about buying Rob. Noa; that was not the cry; 'twas Off, the copy : but now no mortal would read it.off, off!
Lord, sir, it would not pay for paper and printSir Tho. That was a whimsical noise. Zounds! | ing. that must be the players.
observe no- Rust. I remember Kennet, in his Roman anthing else.
tiquities, mentions a play of Terence's, Mr. DacRib. Belike the quarrel first began between tyl, that was terribly treated; but that be attrithe gentry and a black-a-moor-man.
butes to the people's fondness for certain funame Sir Tho. With Friday! The public taste is buli, or rope dancers; but I have not lately debauched; honest nature is too plain and sim- heard of any famous tumblers in town: ple for their vitiated palates !
Thomas, have you?
Sir Tho. How should I? Do you suppose I Enter JULIET,
trouble my head about tumblers ? Juliet, Robin brings me the strangest account !
Rust; Vay, I did not. some little disturbance; but I suppose it was
Ber. (Speaking without] not to be spoke with! 5000 setiled again. Oh, but here comes Mr. Don't telline, sır ; he must, he shall. Stavtape, my tailor ; he is a rational beiny; we
Sir Tho, Ni, Bever's voice! If he is admite shall be able to make something of hiin.
ted in his present disposition, the whole secret
will certainly out. Gentlemen, some affairs, of Enter STAYTAPE.
a most interesting nature, make it impossible for
me to have the bonour of your company to night; So, Staytape; what is the third act over already? therefore I beg you would be so good as toStay. Over, sir! no; nor never will be.
Rust. Affairs ! no bad news? I hope Miss Sir Tho. What do you mean?
Jule is well? Stey. Cut short,
Sir Thu. Very well ; but I am most exceedSir Tho. I don't comprehend you.
ingly Stay. Why, sir, the poet has made a mistake Rust, I shall only just stay to see Mr. Bever, in measuring the taste of the town: the goods poor lad! he will be most liorribly down in the it seems, did not fit; so they returned them upon mouth! a little comfort won't come amiss. the gentleman's hands.
Sir Tho. Mr. Bever, sir! you wont see him Sir Tho. Rot your affectation and quaintness, here. you puppy! speak plain.
Rust. Not here ! why, I thought I heard his Stay. Why, then, sir, Robinson Crusoe is voice but just now. dead.
Sir Tho. You are mistaken Mr. Rust; but Sir Tho. Dead !
Pust. May be so ; then we will go. Sir ThoStay. Ay; and what is worse, will never rise mas, my compliments of condolence if you any more.
You willl soon have all the particu- please, to the poet? lars ; for there were four or five of your friends Sir Tho. Ay, ay. clos. : at my heels,
Dac, And mine; for I suppose we shan't see Sir Tho. Staytape, Juliet, run and stop them! I him soon. Şay I am gone out; I am sick; I am engaged : Puff. Poor gentleman ! I warrant he won't but whatever you do, be sure you don't let Be- show his head for this six months. ver come in. Secure of the victory, I invited
Rust. Ay, ay; indeed, I am very sorry for him; them to the celebr
so tell him, sir. Slay. Sir, they are here.
Dac and Puff. so are we. Sir Tho. Confoundem
Rust. sir Thomas, your servant. Come, gen
tlemen. By all this confusion in Sir Thomas, Enter PUFF, DACTYL, and Rust.
there must be something more in the wind than Rust. Ay, truly, Mr. Puff, this is but a bitter I know; but I will watch, I am resolved. beginning : then the young man must turn bim
[Ereunt, self to some other trade.
Bev. [without] Rascals, stand by! I must, Putt. Servant, Sir Thomas ; I suppose you I will see him. have heard the news of