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Ser. For all this, I believe, hussy, a right ho- | the echo of Signora Florenza, his lordship's misnourable proposal would soon make you alter tress, and an opera singer.
Ser. Mercy upon us ! at what a rate the jade Char. Not unless the proposer had other qua- runs ! lities than what he possesses by patent. Be- Char. In short, sir, I define every individual, sides, sir, you know sir Luke is a devotee to the who, ceasing to act for himself, becomes the tool, bottle.
the mere engine, of another man's will, to be poSer. Not a wbit the less honest for that. thing more than a cypher.
Char. It occasions one evil at least; that when Ser. At this rate the jade will half unpeople under its influence, he generally reveals all, the world; but what is all this to sir Luke? 'to sometimes more than he knows.
him not one of your cases apply. Ser. Proofs of an open temper, you baggage ! Char. Every one—sir Luke has not a first but, come, come, all these are but trifling ob- principle in his whole composition; not only his jections.
pleasures, but even his passions, are prompted Char. You mean, sir, they prove the object a by others; and he is as much directed to the trifle ?
objects of his love and his hatred, as in his eatSer. Why, you pert jade, do you play on mying, drinking, and sleeping. Nay, though he is words ? I say sir Luke is
active, and eternally busy, yet his own private Char. Nobody.
affairs are neglected; and be would not scruple Ser. Nobody! how the deuce do you make to break an appointment that was to determine a that out ? He is neither person attainted or out- considerable part of his property, in order to exlawed ;
any of his majesty's courts, sue change a couple of hounds for a lord, or to buy or be sued, appear by attorney, or in propria a pad-nag for a lady. In a word—but he's at persona: can acquire, buy, procure, purchase, hand, and will explain himself best; I hear his possess, and inherit, not only personalities, such stump on the stairs. as goods and chattels, but even realities, as all Ser. I hope you will preserve a little decency lands, tenements, and hereditaments, wbatsoever before your lover at least? and wheresoever.
Char. Lover! ha, ha, ha!
Enter SiR LUKE LIMP. stow, bequeath, devise, demise, lease, or to farm, let, ditto lands, to any person whomsoerer Sir Luke. Mr. Serjeant, your slave! Ah! are and
you there, my little-O Lord ! Miss, let me tell Char. Without doubt, sir ; but there are, not you something for fear of forgetting-Do you withstanding, in this town, a great number of know that you are new-christened, and have had nobodics, not described by Lord Coke. me for a gossip? Ser. Hey?
Char. Christened! I don't understand you. Char. There is your next-door neighbour, sir Sir Luke. Then lend me your ear-Why, last Harry Hen, an absolute blank.
night, as colonel Killem, sir_William Weezy, Ser. How so, Mrs. Pert?
lord Frederick Foretop and I, were carelesly Char. What, sir! a man who is not suffered sliding the Ranelagh round, picking our teeth, to hear, see, smell, or, in short, to enjoy the free after a damned muzzy dinner at Boodle's, who use of any one of his senses; who, instead of should trip by but an abbess, well known about having a positive will of his own, is denied even town, with a smart little nun in her suit. Says a paltry negative; who can neither resolve or Weezy (who, between ourselves, is as busky as reply, consent or deny, without first obtaining hell) Who is that? odds flesh, she's a delicate the leave of his lady: an absolute monarch to wench! Zounds! cried lord Frederick, where can sink into the sneaking state of being a slave to Weezy have been, not to have seen the Harrietta one of his subjects—Oh fye!
before? for you must know Frederick is a bit of Ser. Why, to be sure, sir Harry Hen is, as I a Macaroni, and adores the soft Italian termimay says
nation in a. Char. Nobody, sir, in the fullest sense of the Char. He does ? word—Then your client, Lord Solo.
Sir Luke. Yes, a dilletanti all over. Before? Ser. Heyday! Why, you would not annihilate replied Weezy; crush me if ever I saw any thing a peer of the realm, with a prodigious estate, half so handsome before !-No! replied I in an and an allowed judge, too, of the elegant arts? instant; colonel, what will Weezy say when he
Char. O yes, sir, I am no stranger to that no- sees the Charlotta ?-Hey ! you littlebleman's attributes; but then, sir, please to con Char. Meaning me, I presume? sider, his power as a peer he gives up to a proxy; Sir Luke. Without doubt; and you have been the direction of his estate to a rapacious, artful toasted by that name ever since. attorney: and as to his skill in the elegant arts, Ser. What a vast fund of spirits he has ! I presume you confine them to painting and mu Sir Luke. And why not, my old splitter of bic. He is directed, in the first, by Mynheer Van causes? Eisel, a Dutch dauber; and, in the last, is but Ser. I was just telling Charlotte, that you was
not a wbit the worse for the loss.
Sir Luke. The worse! much the better, my Ser. As how !-Mind, Charlotte. dear. Consider, I can have neither strain, splint, Sir Luke. Why, to drive a corkin-pin into the spavin, or gout; have no fear of corns, kibes, or calves of our legs. that another man should kick my shins, or tread Ser. Well, well? on my toes.
Sir Luke. Mine, you may imagine, was easily Ser. Right.
done—but when it came to the baronSir Luke. What, d'ye think I would change Ser. Ay, ay? with Bill Spindle for one of his drumsticks, or Sir Luke. Our modern Cato soon lost his coolchop with Lord Lamber for both of his logs? ness and courage, screwed his nose up to his Ser. No!
foretop, rapped out a dozen oaths in High Dutch, Sir Luke. No, damn it, I am much better limped away to his lodgings, and was laid up Look there—Ha ! -What is there I am not able for a month-Ha, ha, ha? to do! To be sure I am a little aukward at running; but then, to make me amends, I'll hop Enter a Servant, and delivers a card to Sir with any man in town for his sum.
Sir Luke. [Reads.}-Sir Gregory Goose deout at Madam Cornelly's, I grant, because of sires the honour of sir Luke Limp's company the crowd; but as far as a private set of six couple, to dine. An answer is desired. Gadso! a little or moving a chair-minuet, match me who can unlucky; I have been engaged for these three
Char. À chair-minuet! I don't understand weeks. you.
Ser. What, I find sir Gregory is returned for Sir Luke. Why, child, all grace is confined to the corporation of Fleesum. the motion of the head, arms, and chest, which
Sir Luke. Is be so? Oh, oh!—That alters the may, sitting, be as fully displayed as if one had case:-George, give my compliments to sir Greas many legs as a polypus— Asthus-tol de rol-gory, and I'll certainly come and dine there. don't you see?
Order Joe to run to alderman Inkle's in ThreadSer. Very plain.
needle-street; sorry can't wait upon him, but Sir Luke. A leg! a redundancy! a mere no- confined to bed two days with new influenza. thing at all. Man is from nature an extravagant
Char. You make light, sir Luke, of these sort creature. In my opinion, we might all be full as
of engagements ? well as we are with but half the things that we
Sir Luke. What can a man do? These damned have.
fellows (when one has the misfortune to meet Char. Ay, sir Luke? how do you prove that? them) takescandalous advantages-teaze--when
Sir Luke. By constant experience. You must will you do me the honour, pray, sir Luke, to have seen the man who makes and uses pens take a bit of mutton with me? do you name the without hands?
day—They are as bad as a beggar who attacks Ser. I have.
your coach at the mounting of a hill; there is Sir Luke. And not a twelve-month agone, I no gerting rid of them, without a penny to one lost my way in a fog, at Mile-end, and was con
and a promise to t'other. ducted to my house in May-fair by a man as blind
Ser. True; and then for such a time, too as a beetle.
three weeks! I wonder they expect folks to reSer. Wonderful!
member. It is like a retainer in Michaelmas Sir Luke. And as to hearing and speaking, term for the summer assizes. those organs are of no manner of use in the
Sir Luke. Not but upon these occasions, no world.
man in Englaud is more punctual thanSer. How ! Sir Luke. If you doubt it, I will introduce
Enter a Servant, who gives Sir Luke a letter. you to a whole family, dumb as oysters, and deaf From whom? as the dead, who chatter from morning till night Sero. Earl of Brentford. The servant waits by only the help of their fingers.
for an answer. Ser. Why, Charlotte, these are cases in point. Sir Luke. Answer !-By your leave, Mr. Ser
Sir Luke. Oh! clear as a trout-stream; and jeant and Charlotte (Reads.) Taste for music it is not only, my little Charlotte, that this piece Mons. Duport-fuil-Dinner upon table at of timber answers every purpose, but it has pro- five-Gadso! I hope sir Gregory's servant a’n’t cured me many a bit of fun in my time.
gone? Ser. Ay!
Sero. Immediately upon receiving the answer. Sir Luke. Why, it was but last summer at Sir Luke. Run after him as fast as you canTunbridge, we were plagued the whole season tell bin, quite in despair---recollect an engagewith a bullet-headed Swiss from the canton of ment that can't in nature be missed--and return Berne, who was always boasting what and how in an instant. much be dare do; and then, as to pain, no Stoic, Chur. You see, sir, the knight must give way not Diogenes, held it in more contempt. By for my
lord. gods, he vas ne more minds it dan nothings at all Sir Luke. No, faith, it is not that my dear -So, foregad, I gave my German a challenge. Charlotte; you saw that was quite an extempore
business.- No, hang it, no, it is not for the ti Sero. Sir, Iris grace, the duke of tle; but, to tell you the truth, Brentford bas Sir Luke. Grace! where is be? - Wheremore wit than any man in the world; it is that Serv. In his conch at the door. If you a'o't makes me fond of his house.
better engaged, would be glad of your company Char. By the choice of his company he gives to go into the city, and take a dinner at Dolly's. an unanswerable instance of that.
Šir Luke. In liis own coach, did you say? Sir Luke. You are right, my dear girl. But Serr. Yes, sir. how to give you a proof of his wit. You know Sir Luke. With the coronets--orBrentiord's finances are a little out of repair, Serv. I believe so. which procures him some visits that he would Sir Luke. There's no resisting of that.—Bid very gladly excuse.
Joe run to Sir Gregory Goose's. Ser. what need he fear? His person is sa Serv. He is already gone to alderman Inkle's. cred; for, by the tenth of William and Mary Sir Luke. Then do you step to the knight
Sir Luke. He knows that well enough; but hey!--no you must go to my lord's-hold, hold, for all that
no—I have it—Step first to Sir Greg's, then pop Ser. Indeed, by a late act of his own house, in at Lord Brentford's just as the company are (which does them infinite honour) his goods or going to dinner chattels may be
Serv. What shall I say to Sir Gregory? Sir Luke. Seized upon, when they can find Sir Luke. Any thing—what I told you
before. them; but he lives in ready-furnished lodgings, Serv. And what to my lord? and hires his coach by the month.
Sir Luke. What!-Why, tell him, that my Ser. Nay, if the sheriff return, 'non inven- uncle froin Epsom-no-ihat won't do, for he
knows I don't care a farthing for him-hey!Šir Luke. A pox o'your law, you make me lose Why, tell him-hold, I have it. Tell him, that, sight of my story! One morning, a Welch coach- as I was going into my chair to obey his commaker caine with his biil to my lord whose name mands, I was arrested by a couple of bailiffs, was unluckily Loyd. My lord had the man up. forced into a hackney-coach, and carried to the You are called, I think, Mr. Loyd ?-At your Pyed Bull in the borough; I beg ten thousand lordship’s service, my lord.-What! Loyd with an pardons for making his grace wait, but his grace L?--It was with an Lindeed, my lord. — Because knows my misfor
Erit. in your part of the world, I have heard that Loyd Char. Well, sir, what d'ye think of the proofs? and Floyd were synonymous, the very same I flatter myself I have pretty well established my names.-Very often, indeed, my lord.—But you case. always spell yours with an L?--Always.—That, Ser. Why, bussy, you have bit upon points ; Mr. Loyd, is a little unlucky; for you must know but then they are but trifling flaws, they don't I am now paying my debts alphabetically, and in vitiate the title, that stands unimpeached; and four or five years you might have come in with But, madam, your mother. an F; but I am afraid I can give you po hopes for your L.-Ha, ha, ha!
Enter Mrs. C1RCUIT.
Mrs. Cir. What have you done with the Enter u Servant.
knight?—Why, you have not let him depart? Soro. There was no overtaking the servant. Char. It was not in my power to keep bim.
Sir Luke. That is unlucky! Tell my lord I'll Mrs. Cir. I don't wonder at that; but what attend him. I'll call on Sir Gregory myself.
took him away! Ser. Why, you won't leave us, Sir Luke? Char. What will at any time take him away,
Sir Luke. Pardon, dear Serjeant and Char- a duke at the door. lotte! have a thousand things to do for half a Mrs. Cir. Are you certain of that? million of people, positively: promised to pro Ser. Why, truly, chuck, his retreat was rather cure a husband for lady Cicely Sulky, and match precipitate for a man, that is just going to be a coach-horse for brigadier Whip; after that married. must run into the city to borrow a thousand for Mrs. Cir. The prospect of marriage does not young At-all at Almack's; send a Cheshire always prove the strongest attachment. cheese, by the stage, to Sir Timothy Tankard in Ser. Pardon me, lovee : the law allows no Suffolk ; and get, at the Herald's office, a coat of higher consideration than marriage. arms to clap on the coach of Billy Bengal, a na
Mrs. Cir. Pshaw ! bob newly arrived: so you see I have not a mo Ser. Insomuch, that if duke A was to interment to lose.
marry with chambermaid B, difference of condiSer. True, true.
tion would prove no bar to the settlement. Sir Luke. At your toilet to-morrow, at ten,
Mrs. Cir. Indeed! you may
Ser. Ay; and this was held to be law by Enter a Servant abruptly, and runs against Marquis of Cully and Fanny Flip-flap, the French
Chief Baron Bind'em, in the famous case of the Sir Luke.
dancer. Can't you see where you are running, you ras Mrs. Cir. The greater blockhead the baron :cal!
but don't pester me with your odious law-cases.
Did not you tell ine you was to go to Kingston lovce we shall be able to fleece your friends not to-day to try the crown causes ?
only of what they have won of poor dearee, but Ser. I was begged to attend for fear his lord-likewise for what they have lost. ship should not be able to sit ; but, if it proves Mrs. Cir. Why, what a paltry, pettifogging inconvenient to you
puppy art thou ! And could you suppose that I Mrs. Cir. To'me! Oh, by no means in the would submit to the scandalous office ? world; I am too good a subject to desire the Ser. Scandalous! I don't understand this Jeast delay in the law's execution. And when strange perversion of words. The scandal lies d'ye set out?
in breaking the laws, not in bringing the offenSer. Between one and two. I shall only just ders to justice. give a law lecture to Jack.
Mrs. Cir. Mean-spirited wretch! What, do Mrs. Cir. Lord ! I wonder, Mr. Circuit, you you suppose that those laws could be levelled awould breed that boy up to the bar.
gainst people of their high rank and condition? Ser. Why not, chuck? He has fine steady Can it be thought that any set of men would parts, and for his time moots a point
submit to legal restraints on themselves? AbMrs. Cir. Steady! stupid, you mean: nothing, surd, and preposterous. sare, could add to his heaviness but the being Ser. Why, by their public practice, my love, loaded with law. Why don't you put bim into one would suspect that they thought themselves the army?
excepted by a particular clause. Ser. Nay, chuck, if you choose it, I believe I Mrs. Cir. Oh, to be sure ! not the least doubt have interest to get Jack a coinmissión.
can be made. Mrs. Cir. Why, Mr. Circuit, you know he is Ser. True, chuck--But, then, your great no son of mine: perhaps, a cockade inay áni-friends should never complain of highwaymen mate the lad with some fire.
stopping their coaches, or thieves breaking into Ser. True, lovee; and a knowledge of the law their houses. mayn't be aroiss to restrain his fire a little. Mrs. Cir. Why, what has that to do with the
Mrs. Cir. I believe there is very little danger business? of bis exceeding in that way.
Ser. Oh, the natural consequence, lovee ; for, Ser. Charlotte, send hither your brother. whilst the superiors are throwing away their for
[Exit Cuar. tunes, and consequently their independence, aMrs. Cir. I'll not interrupt you.
bove-you can't think but their domestics are Ser. Far from it, lovee; I should be glad to following their examples below. have you a witness of Jacky's improvement. Mrs. Cir. Well, and what then?
Mrs. Cir. Of that I am no judge; besides, I Ser. Then! the same distress that throws am full of business to-day-There is to be a the master and mistress into the power of any ballot at one for the Ladie's Club lately estab- who are willing to purchase them, by a regulished, and lady Bab Basto has proposed me for lar gradation seduces the servants to actions, a member. Pray, my dear, when will you let me though more critical, perhaps not more atrocious. have that money to pay my lord Loo?
Mrs. Cir. Pshaw? stuff! I have no need to Ser. The three hundred you mean?
examine your dirty distinetions--Don't tease me Mrs. Cir. And besides, there is my debt to with your jargon - I have told you the sums I Kitty Cribbage. I protest I almost blush when shall want, so take care they are ready at your ever I meet then.
returning from Kingston. Nay, don't hesitate ; Ser. Why really, lovee, 'tis a large sum of recollect your own state of the case, and remoney. Now, were I worthy to throw in a little member my honour is in pawn, and must some advice, we might make a pretty good hand of way or other be redeemed by the end of the this business.
[Exit. Mrs. Cir. I don't understand you.
Ser. (Solus.] My honour is in pawn! Good Ser. Bring an action against them on the sta- Lord! how a century will alter the meaning of tuie in the name of my clerk; and so not only words! Formerly, chastity was the honour of rescue the debt from their hands, but recover women, and good faith and integrity the honour likewise considerable damages.
of men: but now, a lady who ruius her family Mrs. Cir. A pretty conceit, Mr. Serjeânt! hy punctually paying her losses at play, and a but does it not occur to your wisdorn, that as I gentleman who kills his best friend in some trihave (by the help of captain Dog) been oftener fling frivolous quarrel, are your only tip-toe peoa winner than loser, the tables may be turned ple of honour. Well, let them go on, it brings upon us?
yrist to our inill; for whilst both the sexes stick Ser. No, no, chuck, that did not escape me-- | firm to their honour, we shall never want busiI have provided for that. Do you know, by the ness either at Doctor's Commons or the Old Bajlaw, both parties are cqually culpable; so that, ley.
myself! He is a sweet, sober youth, and will one
day make a vast figure, I am sure. Enter SERJ EANT Circuit, and Jack.
Serj. Indeed !
Jack. I am positive, sir, if you were to hear Ser. Jack, let Will bring the chaise to the him speak at the Robinhood in the Butcher-row, door.
you would say so yourself. Wnyd he is now Juck. Mr. Fairplay, sir, the attorney, begs to from Barbican, and Sawney Sinclair, the snuff
reckoned the third. Except the breeches-maker speak a few words. see none of these sort of folks but at chambers? leave the papers a little longer with me, and Ser. How often have I told you, that I will man, there not a mortal can touch him.
Ser. Peace, puppy! Well, Mr. Fairplay, you know how angry your mother is at their rap
who is employed against you? ing, and littering the house.
Fair. A city attorney, one Sheepskin. Jack. He says, sir, he will not detain you five minutes.
Ser. A cunning fellow; I know him. Well, Ser. Well, bid him walk in.
sir, if you will call at Pump-court in a week
Fair. I shall attend you.
Ser. Jack, open the door for Mr [Ereunt
FAIRPLAY and Jack.) Something may be made Well, Mr. Fairplay, what's
of this matter. I'll see this Sheepskin myself.will?
your Fair. I just called, Mr. Serjeant, to know so much in future for carrying on the suit, or so your opinion upon the case of young Woodford, much in hand to make it miscarry. A wise man and if you like the proposal of being concerned should well weigh which party to take for. Ser. If it turns out you state it, and that
Enter Jack. the father of the lad was really a minor, the Essex estate may, without doubt, be recovered, So, Jack, any body at chambers today? and so may the lands in the North.
Jack. Fieri Facias from Fetter-lane, about the Fair. We have full proofs to that fact. bill to be filed by Kit Crape against Will Vizard
Ser. May be so; bnt really, Mr. Fairplay, you know the length of time that these kind of Ser, Praying for an equal partition of plun
Fair. True, sir, but then your experience will Jack. Yes, sir. shorten, I appreh
Ser. Strange world we live in, that even highe Ser. That's more than I know; and, then, waymen can't be true to each other! (Half not only my fees lying dormant, but, perhaps, aside to himself.) But we shall makemaster via an expectation of money advanced.
zard refund; we'll show himn what long hands Fair. The property, sir, is of very great value, the law has. and, upon the recovery, any acknowledgement Jack. Facias says, that in all the books, he shall be readily made.
can't hit a precedent. Ser. There again, any ! do you know, that Ser. Then I'll make one myself; aut inveniin law, the word any has no meaning at all?-am uut facium, has been always my motto. The besides, when people are in distress, they are la charge must be made for partnership profit, by vish enough of their offers; but when their busi- bartering lead and gun-power against money, ness is done, then we have nothing but grum- watches, and rings, on Epping-forest, Hounslowbling and grudging.
heath, and other parts of the kingdom. Fair. You have only to dictate your terms. Jack. He says, if the court should get scent Ser. Does the lad live in towu ?
of the scheme, the parties would all stand comFair. He has been under my care since the mitted. death of his father. I have given him as goud Ser. Cowardly rascal! but, however, the education as my narrow fortune would let me. caution mayn't prove amiss. [Aside.) I'll not put He is now studying the law in the Temple, in my own naine to the bill. hopes, that, should he fail of other assistance, be Jack. The declaration, too, is delivered in the may be able one day to do himself justice. cause of Roger Rapp'em against Sir Solomon Ser. In the Temple ?
Simple. Fair. Yes, sir, in those little chambers just Ser. What, the affair of the note? over your
head -I fancy the young gentleman Jack. Yes. knows him.
Ser. Why, he is clear that liis client never Jack. Who? Mr. Woodford? Lord, as well as I gave such a note.