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Sour Crout. Upon my word, Major Racket Rac. I think, Sir Christopher, you lodge in has very fine disposition to make a figure at de the same house with the Linnets? head of de army; five or six German campaigns Sir Chr. Just over their heads. willah, dat is de best school in de vorld for Rac. Then thither we'll go-ten to one, if our make de var.
plot operates as I expect, the hero will return Sir Chr. Five or six German campaigns ! to their house. Sour Crout. Ay, Chevalier; vat you say to
Sir Chr. Most likely. dat?
Rac. We are come to a crisis, and the catasSir Chr. O Mynheer ! nothing at alla trophe of our piece can't be very far off. German war, for ought I know, may be a very Sir Chr. I wish, like other plays, it don't end good school, but it's a damned expensive educa- in a marriage. tion for us.
Rac. Then I shall be most confoundedly bit De Jar. C'est vrai, Chevalier, dat is all true, but come, knight. cet pay la dat place is the grave for the French Sir Chr. Rot you, I do, as fast as I can-I man and define English guinea.
can't think, Racket, what the deuce makes thee Sir Chr. True, Monsieur; but our guineas are so warm in this business; there is certainly rather worse off than your men, for they stand something at bottom, that I don't comprehend. no chance of rising again.
But, do, Major, have pity on the poor girl; De Jar. Ha, ha, ha! dat is very well le upon my soul she is a sweet little syren, so inChevalier bave beaucoup d'esprit, great deal of nocent and wit, ma foi,
Rac. Pooh, pooh ; don't be absurd. I Rac. I think the knight is in luck-but don't thought that matter had been fully explained; let us lose sight of our subject. You, gentle-this, knight, is no time to look back. But men, are all prepared, perfect in the several suppose now I should have a little mischief in parts, you are to play?
hand? AU. Ay, ay,
Sir Chr. How! of what kind Rac. You, Mynheer Sour Crout?
Rac. Be innocent of the knowledge, dearest Sour Crout. I understand—I will pique his knight, till done, and then applaud the deed. honour—the pride of his famille.
Sir Chr. It is very extraordinary, Major RacRac. Right; Poultice
ket, if you are determined to make the devil a Poul. I will aların him on the side of his visit, that you can't pay it alone; or if you must health,
have company, what a pox makes you think of Sir Chr. Next to his money, the thing in the fixing on ine? world he most minds.
Rac. Hey day! ha, ha? What, in the vapours Rac. You, De Jarsey, and Button, will em- again ?-we must have some more punch. ploy all your eloquence on the prudential side of Sir Chr. You are mistaken ; that won't have the-Oh, dear Jarsey! here is a draft for the power to change the state of my mind; my re pipe of port that I promised.
solves are too firm, De Jar. Dat is right.
Rac. And who wishes to break them! I Rac. The only receipt to get bawds, boroughs, only ask your assistance to-night; and your reor Freuchen. [ Aside.—Oh, here Billy comes formation, you recollect, don't begin ’till to morEnter Button.
Sir Chr. That's true, indeed ; but no human Well, Billy, what news ?
power shall prevail to put it off any longer than But, I am vast afraid all matters are con- to-morrow. cluded at last.
Rac. Or the next day at farthest. Rac. Ay! pr’ythee, why so?
Sir Chr. May I be -- -if I do, But. Because why, in ten minutes after you Exeunt Racket and Sir ChristOPIER. went out bolted the squire, and hurry scurried Poul. Come, lads, light your pipes—which of away to lawyer Latitat's, who, you know, arrests us shall be first to attack? 'Billy? his tenants, and does all his concerns.
But. Won't it be rather too bold for me to Rac. True; well
begin? But. I suppose to give him orders about draw Poul. Then let us leave it to chance--Hush ! ing the writings.
I hear him lumbering in-compose your looks ; Sir Chr. Not unlikely—but you think Flint let his reception be solemn and grave. will come to the club?
But, Leave that chair for him. But. There is no manner of doubt; because
Enter FLINT. why, he hallooed to me, from over the waywhat, Billy, I suppose you are bound to the Flint. How fares it, my lads? Well, boys, Bear? well, boy, I shall be hard at your heels-matters are settled at last-the little Kate has and be seemed in prodigious vast spirits. complied, and to morrow is fixed for the day.
Rac. I am mistaken if we don't lower them a Poul. You have settled it, then? little. Well, gentlemen, the time of action Flint. As firm as a rock. draws nigh. Knight, we must decamp.
Poul. So you can't retreat if you would ? Sir Chr. When you will.
Flint. Retreat! I have no such design,
Poul. You han't?
Dotage, that married the Devonshire girl, he Flint, No, to be sure, you great fool! what had a matter ofthe deuce would Poultice be at?
But. No, no; he dropped off in six months.. Poul. Nay then, neighbours, what we have Poul. True, true, I had forgot. been saying, will just signify nothing.
Flint. Lord have mercy ! Flint. Saying? why you have not heard But. Indeed, an old master of mine, Sir Harry that is, nobody
O'Tuff, is alive, and walks about to this day. Poul. No, nothing very material-Only-but Flint. Hey! as the matter is carried so far
Poul. But you forgot where Sir Harry was Flint. So far! why I hope you have not found born, and how soon his lady eloped ! out any flaw-Kitty has not
But. In the honey moon; with Captain Pike of Poul. No, no, nothing of that—no, upon my the Guards; I mind it full well. word—I believe a very modest, prudent, good Flint. That, indeed, alters the case. girl, neighbour.
Poul. Well, hut, Billy, you are not serious in Áll. No manner of doubt.
this? you don't think there is any danger of Flint. Well, then-but what a plague is the death? meaning of this? You all sit as silent and glum But, As to the matter of death, the doctor why can't you speak out with a pox?
knows better than I; because why, that lies in his Poul. Why, Squire, as we are all your fixed way; but I shall never forget Colonel Crazy, one friends, we have been canvassing this matter of the best customers that ever I had ; I never arnong us.
think of him without dropping a tearFlint. You have ?
Flint. Why, what was the matter with him? Poul. Marriage, you know very well, is no But. Married Lady Barbary Bonnie, as it trifling affair ; too much caution and care can't might be about midnight on Mondaybe used.
Flint. WellFlint. That I firmly believe, which has made But. But never more saw the sweet face of me defer it so long.
Poul. Pray lend me your hand; how is the Flint. What! did he die? state of your health ? do you find yourself hearty But. Within an hour after throwing the stockand strong?
ing. Flint. I think so; that is I-you han't observ Flint. Good Lord! that was dreadful indeed ed any bad, symptoms of late?
Of what age might he be?
Flint. That is vastly alarming. Lord bless Flint. Formerly; but since I have fixed my me, Bill, I am all of a tremble ! gout to a fit they are gone that, indeed, lays But. Ay, truly, it behoves your honour to conme up four or five months in a year.
sider what you are about. Poul. A pretty long spell; and in such a case, Flint. True. do you think that a marriage
But. Then what a world of money must go! Flint. The most best receipt in the world running forwards and backwards to town, and why that, man, was one of my motives—wives, jaunting to see all the fine sights in that place.you know, are allowed to make very good nurses. Flint. I shan't take her to many of them; perPoul. That indeed.
haps I may show her the Parliament-house, and Flint. , Ay, and then they are always at hand; plays, and Boodle's, and bedlam, and my Lord and besides they don't cost one a farthing. Mayor, and the lions.
Poul. True, true; why, you look very jolly But. Then the vast heap of fine clothes you and fresh; does not he?
must makeAll. Exceedingly.
Flint. What occasion for that? Poul. Yet he can't be less than-let me see But. As you arn't known, there is no doing
under old Syntax at Wells ? without; because why, every body passes there Flint. He died the year I left school.
for what they appear. Poul. That must be a good forty year since. Flint. Right, Billy; but I believe I have foand Flint. Come sbeep-shearing next.
out a way to do that pretty cheap. Poul. Then, squire, you are hard upon sixty? But. Which way may be that? Flint. Not far away, Master Poultice.
Flint. You have seen the minister that's come Poul. And Miss Linnet sixteen! you are a down to tack us together? bold man-not but that there are instances, in But. I have—Is he a fine man in the pulpit? deed, where men have survived many years such Flint. He don't care much to meddle with disproportionate marriages as these.
that; but he is a prodigious patriot, and a great Flint. Survived! why should they not? politician to boot.
Poul. But, then, their stamina must be prodi But. Indeed ! giously strong!
Flint. And has left behind him at Paris, a Flint, Stamina !
choice collection of curious rich clothes, which Poul. Let us see! Button, there was doctor he has promised to sell me a penn'orth.
Poul. Pooh, what Billy talks of are trifles to a miscrable scrape am I in!'and here, too, not the evils you are to expect to have a girl to an hour ago, it has cost me, the Lord knows what, break in upon your old ways! your afternoon's in making her presents ! nap interrupted, and perhaps not suffered to take Poul. Never mind that; you had better part your pipe of a night!
with half you are worth in the world. Flini. No!
Flint. True, true-well, then, I'll go and break Poul. All your former friends forbidden your off all matters this minute. house
Poul. The wisest thing you can do. Flint. The fewer come in, the less will go But. The sooner the better. out: I shan't be sorry for that.
Flint. No doubt, no doubt, in the--and yet, Poul. To make room for her own numerous Button, she is a vast pretty girl-I should be clan
beartily sorry to lose her-dost think one could Flint. Not a soul of them shall enter my doors. not get her on easier terms than on marriage ?
Poul. A brood of babes at your boards, whose But. It is but trying, however. fathers she herself won't find it easy to name Flint, To tell truth, Billy, I have always had Flint. To prevent that, I'll lock' ber up in a that in my head; and, at all events, I have
thought of a project that will answer my purpose. Poul. The King's Bench will break open the But. Ay, squire, what is it? door
Flint. No matter--and, do you hear, Billy? Fhint. Then I'll turn her out of the house. should I get her consent, it you will take her off
Poul. Then her debts will throw you into my hands, and marry her, when I begin to grow gaol
tired, I'll settle ten pounds a year upon gou, for Flint. Who told you so ?
both your lives. Poul. A dozen of proctors.
But. Without paying the taxes? Flint. Then I will hang myself out of the way. Flint. That matter we will talk of hereafter. Poul. So she will become possessed of her
[Exit. jointure, and her creditors will foreclose your Poul. So, so, we have well settled this busiestate.
ness, however, Flint. What a miserable poor tnad is a hus But. No more thoughts of his taking a wife. band, whose misfortunes not even death can Poul. He would sooner be tied to a gibbet ; relieve!
but, Billy, step after him, they will let you in at But. Think of that, squire, before it be too Sir Christopher Cripple's; and bring us, Bill, a late!
faithful account. Flint. Well, but friends, neighbours, what the But. I will, I will: but where shall you be? deuce can I do? Are you all of a mind?
Poul. Above, in the Phænix; we won't stir De Jar. All, all; dere is no question at all : out of the house; but be very exact. ' What ! a garçon of your ancient famille to take But. Never fear,
[Ereunt. up with a pauvre petite bourgeoise?
Flint. Does that never happen in France ?
Enter Miss LINNET. Poul. That is none of our case.
Flint. No, no - Mynheer, do your people Miss Lin. Heigh ho! what a sacrifice am I never make up such matches?
going to make! but it is the will of those who Sour Crout. Never, never-what, a German have a right to all my obedience, and to that I dishonour his stock ! why, Mester Flint, should will submit. [Loud knocking at the door.) Bless Mistress Linnet bring you de children for de ten we! who can that be at this time of night ! Our generations to come, they could not be chose de friends may err; and projects the most prudencanons of Strasburgh.
tially pointed, may miss of their aim; but age Flint. No?
and experience demand respect and attention, Poul. So, squire, take it which way you will, and the undoubted kindness of our parents' dewhat dreadful danger you run !
signs claims, on our parts at least, a grateful and Flint. I'do.
ready compliance. Poul. I.oss of friends
Enter Nancy. But. Pipe and afternoon's nap Sour Cront. You famille gone to de dogs Nancy, who was that at the door? De Jar. Your peace of mind to de devil Nun, Mr. Flint, miss, begs the favour of Poul. Your health
speaking five words with you. But. Your wealth
Miss Lin. I was in hopes to have had this night, Poul Plate, money, and manors
at least, to myself-Where is my mother? All. Your
Nan. In the next room with Lady Catherine, Flint. Enough, dear ncighbours, enough-Iconsulting about your clothes for the morning. feel it, I feel it too well. Lord have mercy, what Miss Lin. He is here--very well, you may go.
Flint. Why, but, miss
Miss Lin. It is true, in compliance with the Flint. She is alone, as I wished—Miss, I beg carnest request of my friends, I bad consented to pardon for iotruding at this time of night, but sacrifice my peace to their pleasure; and, though Miss Lin. Sir!
reluctant, would have given you my hand. Flint. You can't wonder that I desire to en Flint. Vastly well! joy your good company every minute I can. Miss Lin: What motive, but obedience to
Miss Lin. Those minutes, a short space will them could I have had in forming an union with place, Mr. Flint, in your power; if, till then, you you ? Did you presuine I was struck with your had permitted me to
personal merit, or think the sordidness of your Flint. Right. But, to say the truth, I wanted mind and manners would tempt me? to have a little serious talk with you of how and Flint. Really, miss, this is carryingabout it. I think, miss, you agree, if we marry, Miss Lin. You liave wealth, I confess; but to go off to the country directly?
where could have been the advantage to me, as Miss Lin. If we marry! Is it, then, a matter a reward for becoming your drudge? I might, of doubt?
perhaps, have received a scanty subsistence, for Flint. Why, I tell you, wiss; with regard to I can bardly suppose you would grant the free myself, you kuow, I am one of the most an use of that to your wife, which your meanness cientest families in all the country round
has denied to yourself. Miss Lin. Without doubt.
Flint. So, so, so !-by and by she will alarm Flint. And, as to money and lands in these the whole house! parts, I believe few people can watch nie.
Miss Lin. The whole house ! the whole town Miss Lin. Perhaps not.
shall be told. Sure the greatest misfortune, that Flint. And as to yourself—I don't speak in a poverty brings in its train, is the subjecting us to disparaging way-your friends are low folks, and the insult of wretches like this, who bare ho your fortune just nothing.
other merit but what their riches bestow on them. Miss Lin. True, sir; but this is no new dis Flint. What a damnable vixen! Aside. covery; you have known this,
Miss Lin. Go, sir! leave the house! I anı Flint, Hearme out now!-as I bring all these ashained, sir, you have had the power to move good things on my side, and you have nothing to me; and never more let me be shocked with your give me in return but your love, I ought to be sight. pretty sure of the possession of that. Miss Lin. I hope, the properly discharging all
Enter Lady CATHERINE and Mas. LIXNET. the duties of that condition, wbich I am shortly Lady Cath. How's aw wi you within ?-Gad's to owe to your favour, will give you convincing mercy! what's the matter wi miss? I will hope, proofs of iny gratitude.
Maister Flint, it is na you, wha ha set her a wailFlint. Your gratitude, miss!—but we talk of ing? your love! and of that, if I marry, I must have Mrs. Lin. Kitty, my love! plain and positive proofs.
Miss Lin. A modest proposal of that gentleMiss Lin. Proofs ! of what kind ?
man's making Flint. To steal away directly with me to my Lady Cath. Of what kind ? lodgings.
Miss Lin. Only this moment to quit my father Miss Lin. Your lodginys !
and you, and take up my lodging with him. Flint. There pass the night, and in the morn Lady Cath. To night! aw, that is quite out of ing, the very ninute we rise, we will march away the order of things ; that is ne'er done, Maister to the abbey.
Flint, till after the ceremony of the nuptials is Miss Lin. Sir!
said. Flint. In short, miss, I must have this token Flint. No? Then, I can tell your ladyship, it of love, or not a syllable more of the marriage. will never be done. Miss Lin. Give me patience!
Lany Cath. How? Flint. Come, miss, we have not a minute to lose; the coast is clear-should somebody come,
Enter MAJOR RACKET, SIR CHRISTOPHER you will put it out of my power to do what I de
CRIPPLE, and BUTTON. sign.
Sir Chr. We beg pardon for taking the liberty Miss Lin, Power! Hands off, Mr. Flint ! to come in, Mrs. Linnet, but we were afraid Power! I promise you, sir, you shall never have some accident might have happened to missme in your power.
Mrs. Lin. There bas, sir. Flint. Here, mișs
Rac. Of what kind ? Aliss Lin. Despicable wretch ! from what part Mrs. Lin. That worthy gentleman, under preof my character could your vanity derive a hope, tence of friendship to us, and honourable views that I would submit to your infainous purpose ? to my daughter, has hatched a treacherous de Flint. Don't be in a
sign to ineritably ruin my child! Miss Lin. To put principle out of the question, Sir Chr. What, he? Flint? not a creature, that had the least tincture of pride, Mrs. Lin. Even he. could fall a victim to such a coutemptible Sir Chr. An impudent son of aBilly, lead
me up, that I may take a peep at the puppy vain to expect justice or honour from him! What Your servant, young gentleman! what is it true a most contemptible cur is a miser ! that we hear? A sweet swain this, to tempt a virgin Sir Chr. Ten thousand times worse than a to sin! Why, Old Nick has inade a mistaķe here; highwayman; that poor devil only pilfers from he used to be more expert in his angling; for what Peter or Paul, and the money is scattered as temale on earth can be got to catch this bait ? soon as received; but the wretch, that accumu
Lady Cath, Haud, haud you, Sir Christopher lates for the sake of secreting, annihilates what Cripple, let Maister Flint and I have a short con was intended for the use of the world, and is a ference upon this occasion—I find, Maister Flint robber of the whole human race. you ha made a little mistake, but marriage will Rac. And of himself, too, into the bargain. set aw matters right in the instant. I suppose
But. For all the world ; like a magpie, he you persevere to gang wi miss to kirk in the steals for the mere pleasure of hiding. morning?
Ruc. Well observed, little Bill. Flint. No, madam, nor the evening neither. But. Why, he wanted to bring me into his
Lady Cath. Mercy a Gad! what, do you re-plot-yes; he inade proposals for me to marry fuse to ratify the preliminaries ?
miss, after his purpose was served ! Flint. I don't say that neither.
Sir Chr. How ! Sir Chr. Then pame the time in which you bis
cast clothes to his coachman. Billy Button
But. But he was out in his man-let him give will fulfil them a week? Lady Cuth. A fortnight?
can afford a new suit of his own. Mrs. Lin. A month?
Rac. I don't doubt it at all. Flint. I won't be bound to no time.
But. Fellow-I am almost resolved never to Rac. A rascally evasion of his to avoid an ac
set avother stitch for him as long as I live. tion at law.
Sir Chr. Right, Button, right; but where is Sir Chr. But, perhaps, he may be disappoint-Miss Kitty? Come hither, my chicken : Faith I ed in that.
am heartily glad you are rid of this scoundrel ; Lady Cath. Well; but, Maister Flint, are you and, if such a crippled old fellow as me was worwilling to make miss a pecuniary acknowledg- thy of your notice—but hold, Kate, there is anwent for the damage ?
other chap I must guard you againstFlint. I have done her no damage, and I'll Miss Lin. Another, sir! Who? make no reparation.
Sir Chr. Why, this gentleman. Rac. Twelve honest men of your country inay
Rac. Me! happen to differ in judgment.
Sir Chr. Ay, you; come, come, major, don't Flint. Let her try, if she will.
think you can impose upon a cunning old sportsSir Chr. And, I promise you, she shan't he man like me. to seek for the means.
Ruc. Upon my soul, Sir Christopher, you make Lady Cuth. If you be nae afraid of the laws, me blush. ha you no sense of shame?
Sir Chr. Oh! you are devilish modest, I Rac. He sense of shame!
know-but to come to the trial at once. I have Lady Cath. Gad's wull! it shall cum to the soige reason to believe, major, you are fond of proof; you mun ken, good folk, at Edinburgh, last this girl; and, that her want of fortune inayn't winter, I got acquainted with Maister Foot the plead your excuse, I don't think I cau better play-actor-I will get him to bring the filthy loon begio my plan of reforming, than by a complion the stage
ment paid to her virtue—then take her, and, with Sir Chr. And expose him to the contempt of her, two thousand guineas in hand. the world? he richly deserves it.
Mrs. Lin. How, sir ! Flint. Ay, he may write, you may rail, and the Sir Chr. And expect another good spell when people may biss, and what care I? I have that Monsieur le Fevre sets me free from the gout. at home, that will keep up my spirits.
But. Please your worship, I'll accept her with Lady Cath. At hame?"
halfRac. The wretch means his money.
Lady Cuth. Gi me leave, Sir Christophsr, to Flint. And what better friend can any man throw in the widow's mite on the happy occahave? Tell me the place where its influence sion; the bride garmeut, and her dinner shall be fails ? Ask that gentleman how he got his cock furnished by me. ade? Money! I know its worth; and, therefore,
Sir Chr. Cock-a-leeky soup? can't too carefully keep it. At this very instant, Lady Cath. Sheep's head singed, and a haggics I have a proof of its value ; it enables me to in plenty. laugh at that squeamisb impertinent girl, and de Sir Chr. Well said, lady Catherine ! spise the weak etforts of your impotent malice Miss Lin. How, sir, shall I acknowledge this Call me forth to your courts when you please, goodness? that will procure me able defenders, and good Sir Chr. By saying nothing about it-Well, witnesses too if they are wanted, [Erit. sir, we wait your answer.
Sir Chr. Now there's a fellow that will never Rac. I think, the lady might first be consultreform.
ed : I should be sorry a fresh persecution should Rac. You had better let him alone; it is in ' follow so fast on the heels of the