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Mar. Dear heart, how can you be so barba Oh the fool, the silly silly fool, rous? and is this the way you serve me after all ? Who trusts what man may be ! and won't you keep your word, Hodge ?
I wish I was a muid again, Hodge. Why, no, I won't, I tell you; I have And in my own country.
[Exit. mind. Mar. Nay, but surely, surely -Consider, Hodge, you are obligated in conscience to make SCENE VI.-A Green, with the Prospect of a me an honest woman.
Villuge, and the representation of a Statute, Hodye. Obligated in conscience! How am I
or Fair. obligated ?
var. Because you are; and none but the Enter Justice WOODCOCK, HAWTHORN, Mrs. basest of rogues would bring a poor girl to Deborah WOODCOCK, LUCINDA, Rossetta, shame, and afterwards leave her to the wide Young MEADOWS, Hodge, and several Counworld.
try People. Hodge. Bring you to shame! Don't make me speak, Madge; don't make me speak.
Hodge. This way, your worship, this way. Mar. Yes, do ; speak your worst.
Why don't you stand aside, there? Here's his Hodge. Why, then, if you go to that, you worship a coming. were fain to leave your own village down in the
Coun. His worship! West, for a bastard you had by the clerk of the J. Wood. Fie, fie, what a crowd's this! Odd, parish, and I'll bring the man shall say it to your I'll put some of them in the stocks. (Striking a face.
fellow.] Stand out of the way, sirrah! Mar. No, no, Hodge; 'tis no such thing; 'tis Haw. For shame, neighbour! Well, my lad, a base lie of farmer Ploughshare's–But, I know are you willing to serve the king ? what makes you false hearted to me--that you Coun. Why, can you list ma! Serve the king, may keep company with young madam's wait- master! no, no! I pay the king, that's enough ing woman; and I am sure she's no fit body for for me. Io, ho, ho ! a poor man's wife.
Hax. Well said, Sturdy-boots! Hodge. How should you know what she's fit J Wood. Nay, if you talk to them, they'll anfor? She's fit for as much as yon, maylap; swer you. don't find fault with your betters, Madge. (See
Huw. I would have them do so; I like they ing Young Meadows.) Oh! Master Thomas, I should-Well, madam, is not this a fine sight? have a word or two to say to you; pray, did not I did not know my neighbour's estare had been you go down the village one day last week, so well peopled -Are all these his own tewith a basket of something upon your shoul- nants? der?
Mrs. Deb. More than are good of them, Mr. Young Asea. Well, and what then?
Hawthorn. I don't like to see such a parcel of Hodge. Nay, not much, only the ostler at the young bussies fleering with the fellows. Green Man was saying, as how there was a pas
Hiiw. There's a lass. (Beckoning to a Counsenger at their house, as see'd you go by, and try Girl.] Come hither, my pretty maid. What said he know'd you; and ast a mort of questions brings you here? (Chucking her under the chin.] -So I thought I'd tell you.
Do you come to look for a service? Young Mea. The devil! ask questions about
C. Girl. Yes; an't please you. me! I know nobody in this part of the country;
Haw. Well, and what place are you
for? there must be soine mistake in it-Come hither,
C. Girl. All work, an't please you. Hlodye.
J. Wood. Ay, ay, I don't doubt it; any work * Mar. A nasty, ungrateful fellow, to use me at you'll put ber to. this rate, after being to himn as I have.--Well,
Mrs. Deb. She looks like a brazen one-Go, well, I wish all poor girls would take warning bussy. by iny mishap, and never have nothing to say
Haw. Here's another. (Catching a girl that to none of them,
goes by.] What health, what bloom ! This is Nature's work; no art, no daubing. Don't be
ashamed, child; those cheeks of thine are enough AIR.
to put a whole drawing room out of counteHow happy were my days, till now !
Hodge. Now, your honour, now the sport will I ne'er did sorrow feel ;
The gut-scrapers are here, and some I rose with joy, to milk my cow,
among them are going to sing and dance. Why, Or take my spinning-wheel.
there's not the like of our statute, mun, in five
counties; others are but fools to it. My heart was lighter than a fly,
Sertant-man. Come, good people, make a Like uny bird I sung,
ring, and stand out, fellow servants, as many of Till he pretended love, and I
you as are willing, and able to hear a bob. Believed his fluttering tongue.
We'll let my masters and nistresses see we can
We women like weak Indians trade,
Whose judgment tinsel show decoys; Enter LUCINDA and EUSTACE.
Dupes to our
folly we are made,
TVhile artful nan the gain enjoys : Luc. Well, am not I a bold adventurer, to
We give our treasure, to be paid, bring you into my father's house at noon-day?
A paltry, poor return! in toys. Though, to say the truth, we are safer here than in the garden; for there is not a human creature Eus. Well, I see you've a mind to dirert yourunder the roof besides ourselves.
self with me; but I wish I could prevail on you to Eus. Then why not put our scheme into ex- be a little serious. ecution this moment? I have a post-chaise Luc. Seriously, then, what would you desire ready.
me to say? I bave promised to run away with Luc. Fie! how can you talk so lightly? I pro- you; which is as great a concession as any reatest I am afraid to have any thing to do with you; sopable lover can expect from his mistress. your passion seems too much founded on ap Eus. Yes, but, you dear, provoking angel, you petite; and my aunt Deborah says
have not told me when you will run away with Eus. Wbat!' By all the rapture my heart now feels
Luc. Wby that, I confess, requires some conLuc. Oh, to be sure, promise and vow! it sideration. sounds prettily, and never fails to impose vpoo Eus. Yet, remember, while you are deliberat2 fond feinalc.
ing, the season, now so farourable to us, may elapse, never to return."
the fellow himself? and you will be wiser than all the world?
Mrs. Deb. Brother, he does not look like a Think, my fairesi, how delay
music-master. Danger every moment brings ;
J. Il'ood. He does not look ! Ha, ba, ha! was Time flies swift, and will away; Time that's ever on its wings;
ever such a poor stupe ! well, and what does he
look like, then ? But I suppose you mean he is Doubting and suspence at best,
not dressed like a music-master, because of his Lovers laie repentance cost ; Let us eager to be blest,
ruffles, and this bit of garnishing about his coat Seize occasion e'er 'tis past.
--which seems to be copper, too —why, you silly wretch, these whipper-snappers set up for gen
tlemen, now-a-days, and give themselves as many Enter Justice Wooncock, and Mrs. DEBORAH airs as if they were people of quality. Hark ye, WOODCOCK.
friend, I suppose you don't come within the vaJ. Wood. Why, here is nothing in the world in grant act? You have some settled habitation
where do you live? this house but cater-wauling from morning till
Mrs. Deb. It is an easy matter for him to tell night, nothing but cater-wauling ! Hoity toity!
you a wrong place. who have we here?
J. Wood. Sister Deborah, don't provoke me. Luc. My father and my aunt!
Mrs. Deb. I wish, brother, you would let me Eus. The devil! what shall we do?
examine bim a little. Luc. Take no notice of them, only observe J. Wood. You sha'n't say a word to himn; you me.-Speaks aloud to Eus.]—Upon my word, sha'n't say a word to him. sir, I don't know what to say to it, unless the
Mrs. Deb. She says he was recommended justice was at home; he is just stepped into the here, brother; ask bim by whom? village with some company; but, if you'll sit
J. Wood. No, I won't, now, because you dedown a moment, I dare swear he will return-sire it. [Pretends to see the Justice.] Oh! Sir, here is my
Luc. If my papa did ask the question, aunt, it
would be very easily resolved. J. Wood. Here is your papa, hussy! Who's
Mrs. Deb. Who bid you speak, Mrs. Nimble this you have got with you ? Hark you, sirrah, who are you, ye dog? And what's your business head, to answer for himself.
Chops? I suppose the inan has a tongue in his here? Eus. Sir, this is a language I am not used to.
J. Iood. Will nobody stop that prating old
woman's mouth for me? Get out of the room! J. Wood. Don't answer me, you rascal-I am
Mrs. Deb. Well, so I can, brother; I don't a justice of the peace; and if I hear a word out
want to stay: but, remember, I tell you, you of your mouth, l'll send you to jail, for all your will make yourself ridiculous in this affair: for, laced bat.
tbrough your own obstinacy, you will bave your Mrs. Deb. Send him to jail, brother, that's daughter run away with, before your face. right. J. Wood. And how do you know it's right? with my daughter?
J. Wood. My daughter! Who will run away How should you know any thing's right? Sister
Mrs. Deb. That fellow will. Deborah, you are never in the right.
J. Wood. Go, go, you are a wicked, censorious Mrs. Deb. Brother, this is the man I have been telling you about so long.
Luc. Why, sure, madam, you must think me J. Wood. What man, goody Wise-acre !
very coming, indeed. Mrs. Deb. Why, the man your daughter has j. Wood. Ay, she judges of others by herself; an intrigue with: but I hope you will not believe I remember, when she was a girl, her mother it now, though you see it with your own eyes dared not trust her the length of her apronCome, hussy, confess, and don't let your father string; she was clambering upon every fellow's make a fool of himself any longer.
back. Luc. Confess what, aunt! This gentleman is a Mrs. Deb. I was not. music-master: he goes about the country, teach J. Wood. You were. ing ladies to play and sing ; and has been re
Luc. Well, but why so violent? commended to instruct me: I could not turn him out when he came to offer his service; and
AIR. did not know what answer to give him till I saw my papa. J. Wood. A music-master!
Beliete me, dear aunt, Eus. Yes, sir, that's my profession.
If you rave thus, und rant, Mrs. Deb. It's a lie, young man; it's a lie
You'll never a lover persuade; Brother, he is no more a music-master than I
The men will all fly, am a music-master.
And leave you to die,
How happy the lass,
Eus. 'Sdeath! why would you bring me into Must she come to this pass,
the house We could expect nothing else: beWho ancient virginity 'scapes !
sides, since they did surprise us, it would have 'Twere better on earth
been better to have discovered the truth. Have five brats at a birth,
Luc. Yes, and never have seen one another Than in hell be a leader of apes.
afterwards ! I know my father better than you [Erit MRś. DEB.do; he has taken it into his head I have no in
clination for a husband; and, let me tell you, J. Wood. Well done, Lucy! send ber about that is our best security; for if ouce he has said her business; a troublesome, foolish creature ! a thing, he will not be casily persuaded to the does she think I want to be directed by her contrary: Come hither, my lad, you look tolerable ho
Eus. And pray, what am I to do now? nest?
Luc. Why, as I think all danger is pretty well Fus. I hope, sir, I shall never give you cause over, since he hath invited you to dinner with to alter your opinion,
him, stay; only be calitious of your behaviour; J. Wood. No, no, I am not easily deceived; I and, in the mean time, I will consider what is ain generally pretty right in my conjectures.
next to be done. You must know, I had once a little notion of
Eus. Had not I better go to your father? music myself, and learned upon a fiddle; I
Luc. Do so, while I endeavour to recover could play the Trumpet Minuet, and Buttered myself a little out of the flurry this affair has put Peas, and two or three tanes. I remember, when me in. I was in London about thirty years ago, there
Eųs. Well, but what sort of a parting is this, was a song, a great favourite at our club at without so much as your servant, or good by to Nando's coffee-house; Jack Pickle used to sing you! No ceremony at all? Can you afford me it for usa droll fish! but 'tis an old thing; i no token to keep up my spirits iill I see you dare swear you have heard of it often.
Luc. Ah, Childish!
Eus. My angel !
Eus. Let rakes and libertines, resign'd Oh! Istuck to her stuff, till I made her com
To sensual pleasures, runge! ply;
Here all the ser's charms I find, Oh! I took her so lovingly round the waist,
And ne'er can cool or change.
What most their hearts desire;
With pride my passion I reteal,
Oh? may it ne'er erpire. Yet I pleased her só well, that she bore it Both. The sun shall cease to spread its light, again :
The stars their orbits leave,
And fuir creation sink in night,
When I my dear deceive. (Exeunt.
SCENG II.-A Garden.
Enter Rossetta, musing. now; but I could do a little at them once; well, stay and eat your dinner, and we'll talk about Ros. If ever poor creature was in a pitiable your teaching the girl —Lucy, take your ma- condition, surely I am. The devil take this fel. ster to your spinnet, and shew him what you can low, I cannot get him out of my head ! aud yet do-I must go and give some orders: Then I would fain persuade myself I don't care for hoity toity, &c.
[Erit J. Wood. him: well, but, surely, I am not in love. Let me Luc. My sweet, pretty papa, your most obe- examine my heart a little: I saw liim kissing one dient humble servant; ha, ha, ha! Was ever so of the maids the other day; I could have boxed whimsical an accident? Well, sir, what do you his ears for it, and have done nothing but hird think of it?
fault and quarrel with the girl ever since. Why Eus. Think of it! I am in amaze.
was I uneasy at his toying with another woman? Luc. O your aukwardness! I was frightened What was it to me? Then I dream of him alout of my wits, lest you should not take the most every night-but that may proceed from hint; and, if I had not turned matters so cle- his being generally uppermost in my thoughts all verly, we should have been utterly undone. day: Oh! worse and worse! Weil, he is cer
lainly a pretty lad ; he has something uncommon | answer for our inclinations, but it is in our power about him, considering his rank: And now, let not to give way to them; and, if I was so silly; me only put the case, if he was not a servant, I say, if I was so indiscreet, which I hope I am would I, or would I not, prefer him to all the not, as to entertain an improper regard, when men I ever saw? Why, to be sure, if he was not people's circumstances are quite unsuitable, and a servant-In short, I'll ask myself no more there are obstacles in the way that cannot be questions; for the further I examine, the less surmountedreason I shall have to be satisfied.
Young Mea. Oh! to be sure, Mrs. Rossetta,
to be sure: you are entirely in the right of itAIR.
1-know very well, you and I can never come together.
Rus. Well, then, since that is the case, as I asHow blessed the maid, whose bosom
sure you it is, I think we had better behave acNo headstrong pussion knows;
Youny Mea. Suppose we make a bargain,
then, never to speak to one another any more? Where'er her fancy leads her,
Ros. With all
my heart. No pain, no fear indades her;
Young Meu. Nor look at, nor, if possible, But pleasure,
think of, one another? Without measure,
Ros. I am very willing. From every object flows.
Young Mea. And, as long as we stay in the
house together, never to take any notice? Enter Young MEADOWS.
Rus. It is the best way. Young Mea. Do you come into the garden,
Young Mea. Why, I believe it is Well, Mrs.
Rossetta Mrs. Rossetta, to put my lilies and roses out of countenance; or, to save me the trouble of wa
AIR. tering my flowers, by reviving them? The sun seems to have hid himself a little, to give you an opportunity of supplying bis place.
Ros. Beyone !-I agree, Ros. Where could he get that, now ? He never
From this moment, we're free, read it in the Academy of Compliments.
Already the matter l’se sworn : Young Mca. Come, don't affect to treat me Young Mea. Yeč let me complain with contempt; I can suffer any thing better
Of the fates that ordainthan that. In short, I love you; there is no more
A trial so hard to be borne. to be said : I am angry with myself for it, and
Ros. When things are not fit, strive all I can against it; but, in spite of my
We should calmly submit; self, I love you.
No cure in reluctance we find:
Tear your image away,
And banish you quite from my mind.
Ros. Well, now, I think, I am somewhat ea-
with him, because it puts an end to things at
moment-The airs this girl gives herself are in
tolerable! I find now the cause of her behaviour; Ros. Really, Mr. Thomas, this is very impro- she despises the meanness of my condition, per language; it is what I don't understand; I thinking a gardener below the notice of a lady's can't suffer it, and, in short, I don't like it. waiting woman : 'Sdeath, I have a good mind to
Young Mea. Perhaps, you don't like me? discover myself to her.
Ros. Poor wretch! he does not know what Young Mea. Nay, but ’tis not so; come, con- to make of it: I believe he is heartily mortified, fess you love me.
but I must not pity him. Ros. Confess! indeed, I shall confess no such Young Mea. It shall be so: I will discover thing: besides, to what purpose should I confess myself to her, and leave the bouse directly.it?
Mrs. Rossetta. (Starting back.) Pox on't, yonder Young Mea. Why, as you say, I don't know is the Justice come into the garden. to what purpose ; only, it would be a satisfaction Ros. 0, Lord! he will walk round this
way; to me to hear you say so; that's all.
pray go about your business; I would not for Ros. Why, if I did love you, I can assure you, the world he should see us together. you would never be the better for it-Women Young Mea. The devil take him ! he's gone are apt enough to be weak; we cannot always across the parterre, and can't bobble bere this