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Ha! What have I done?

Go, call a coach, and let a coach be called; And let the man that calls it be the caller; And, in his calling, let him nothing call, But coach! coach! coach! Oh! for a coach, ye gods! [Exit raving.

Returns with a Doctor. Bom. How fares your majesty? Doc. My lord, he's dead.

Bom. Ha! dead! impossible! it cannot be ! I would not believe it, though himself should swear it.

Go, join his body to his soul again,

Or, by this light, thy soul shall quit thy body! Doc. My lord, he's far beyond the power of physic:

His soul has left his body, and this world.
Bom. Then go to the other world and fetch it
back.
[Kills him.

And, if I find thou trifles with me there,
I'll chase thy shade through myriads of orbs,
And drive thee far beyond the verge of nature.
Ha! Call'st thou, Chrononhotonthologos?
I come! your faithful Bombardinian comes!
He comes, in worlds unknown, to make new wars
And gain thee empires numerous as the stars.
[Kills himself.

Enter QUEEN and others.
Aldi. O horrid! horrible! and horridest hor-

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Has left me so; is not that a wretched thing? Tut. Why, then, dear madam! make no farther pother,

Were I your majesty, I would try another.
Queen. I think 'tis best to follow thy advice.
Tut. I'll fit you with a husband in a trice:
Here's Rigdum-Funnidos, a proper man;
If any one can please a queen, he can.

Rig. Ay, that I can, and please your majesty. So, ceremonies apart, let us proceed to business. Queen. Oh! but the mourning takes up all

my care;

I am at a loss what kind of weeds to wear.
Rig. Never talk of mourning, madam.
One ounce of mirth is worth a pound of sorrow.
Let us bed to-night, and then we'll wed to-mor-

row.

I'll make thee a great man, my little Phoscophorny. [To ALDI. aside, Aldi. I scorn your bounty; I'll be king, or nothing.

Draw, miscreant! draw!

Rig. No, sir, I'll take the law.

[Runs behind the Queen. Queen. Well, gentlemen, to make the matter

easy,
I'll have you both; and that, I hope will please ye.
And now, Tatlanthe, thou art all my care:
Where shall I find thee such another pair?
Pity that you, who've served so long, so well,
Should die a virgin, and lead apes in hell.
Choose for yourself, dear girl, our empire round,
Your portion is twelve hundred thousand pound.
Aldi. Here! take these dead and bloody corpse
away;

Make preparation for our wedding day.
Instead of sad solemnity, and black,
Our hearts shall swim in claret, and in sack.

[Exeunt omnes.

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SCENE I.-A palace yard.

Enter DOODLE on one side of the stage, and

NOODLE on the other; ofter a long obeisance, they embrace.

DUET.

Dood. Sure such a day,

So renowned, so victorious

Such a day as this never was seen ;

Courtiers so gay,.

And the mob so uprorious

Nature seems to wear a universal grin.

Nood. Arthur to Doll

Is grown bobbish and uxorious;

Dood. Oh, 'tis a day
Of jubilee, cajollery;
A day we never saw before;
A day of fun and drollery.
Nood. That you may say,

Their majesties may boast of it;
And since it never can come more,
'Tis fit they make the most of it.
Dood. Oh, 'tis a day, &c.
Nood. That you may say, &c.
Dood. Sure such a day, &c.

Nood. Courtiers so gay, &c.

Dood. Yes, Noodle, yes ;-to-day the mighty Thumb

While both she and Huncamunca tipple, talking | Returns triumphant.-Captive giants swarm

tawdry;

Like bees behind his car.

[Flourish of Trumpets. Nood. These trumpets speak the king at le

Even Mr. Sol,

Glitters like a beau in a new birth-day embroidery. vee, I go.

So tifted out, so glorious,

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were a quart,

And rum and brandy be but half a crown,
Rather than quarrel, thou shalt have thy fill.

[Flourish of drums and trumpets. Nood. These martial sounds, my liege, announce the general. King. Haste we to meet, and meetly to receive him. [Rises from the throne. [Martial music.]

Enter Toм THUMB, Attendants, and GLUMDALCA in chains.

Welcome, thrice welcome, mighty Thomas
Thumb!

Thou tiny hero-pigmy giant queller!
What gratitude can thank away the debt
Thy valour puts upon us.

[Takes him up and embraces him.

Queen. Oh! ye gods! [Aside. Tom. When I'm not thank'd at all, I'm thank'd enough

I've done my duty, and I've done no more. [Bows. Queen. Was ever such a godlike creature seen!

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[Aside.

Nor know I whether it proceeds from love Or the wind cholic-But time will shew.-Hugeous queen of hearts, Sure thou wert form'd by all the gods in council; Who, having made a lucky hit, beyond their journeywork,

Cry'd out—" This is a woman !"

Glum. Then were the gods confoundedly mistaken.

We are a giantess-I tell thee, Arthur,
We yesterday were both a queen and wife;
One hundred thousand giants own'd our sway;
Twenty whereof were wedded to ourself.

Queen. Oh blest prerogative of giantism!

[Aside.

King. Oh! vast queen!-Think our court thine own;

Call for whate'er thou likest-there's nought to

pay,

Nor art thou captive, but thy captive we.
[Takes off her chain:
Queen. [Aside.] Ha! Arthur faithless!
This gag my rival, too, in dear Tom Thumb !
Revenge!-but I'll dissemble-
Madam, believe that with a woman's eye

I view your loss-take comfort--for, to

morrow

Our grenadiers shall be called out, then choose As many husbands as you think you'll want.

Glum. Madam, I rest your much obliged and very humble servant. [Exit. Queen. Though greater yet Tom's boasted merit was,

He shall not have my daughter, that is pos. [Advancing to the King.

King. Ha! say'st thou?

Queen. Yes, I say he shan't.

King. How, shan't!

Queen. How! hast thou seen no giants? Are there not

Now in our yard ten thousand proper giants? Griz. Madam, shall I tell you what I'm going to say? I do not positively know, but, as near as I can guess, I cannot tell; though I firmly do

believe there is not one.

Queen. Out from my sight, base Pickthank, hie, begone!

Now by our royal self, we swear-I'll be damn'd By all my stars, thou enviest Tom Thumb.

but he shall.

AIR.-Queen.

Then tremble all, who weddings ever made, And tremble more who did this match persuade; For, like a worried cat, I'll spit, I'll squall, I'll scratch, I'll tear the eyes out of ye all. [The King throws his hat at the Queen.] [Exeunt Queen and Ladies

Dood. Her majesty, the queen, is in a passion. King. She may be damn'd. Who cares? We were indeed

A pretty king of clouts, were we to truckle
To all her mauling humours.

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Enter Queen, in a rage.

Queen. Teach me to scold, O Grizzle!

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SCENEI IV.-An Anti-chamber.

The King on a Couch. King. -Methought I heard a voice say, "Sleep no more!" Glumdalca exiles sleep-and therefore, Arthur Can sleep no more.

The Ghost of GAFFER THUMB rises, with a blue Lantern on a long staff.

Ghost. Oh, Arthur! Arthur! Arthur! Soon shalt thou sleep enough.

King. Ah! what art thou?

Ghost. The ghost of Gaffer Thumb.
King. A ghost!--stand off!

I'll have thee laid in the Red Sea.

Ghost. Oh, Arthur! take heed.
My thread is spun-list, list, oh, list!

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King. No more! and why no more, or why so much?

Griz. Scold, would my queen?-say, ah! Better quite ignorant, than half instructed.

wherefore!

Queen. Wherefore !

Faggots and fire-my daughter to Tom Thumb! Griz. I'll mince the atom into countless pieces.

Queen. Oh! no; prevent the match, but hurt not hin

Him!-thou!-thou kill the man
Who kill'd the giants?

Griz. Giants!—why, madam, 'tis all flum

mery:

He made the giants first, and then he kill'd them,

By Jove, this bo-peep ghost makes game of us, Therefore, Fate, keep your secret to yourself.

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Griz. [Kneeling.] Oh, Huncamunca! Huncamunca, oh!

n!

Hunc. This to my rank,-bold man Griz. Ah, beauteous princess! Love levels rank,-lords down to cellar bears, And bids the brawny porter walk up stairs.Nought is for love too high, nor ought too low

Oh, Huncamunca! Huncamunca, oh!

Hunc. Mylord, in vain, a-suitoring you come, For I'm engaged this instant to Tom Thumb. Griz. Play not the fool! that less than baby shun,

Or you will near be brought to bed of one. Hunc. Am I thus fobb'd?-then I my

recall,

Griz. Shall I to Doctor's Common? Hunc. Do so, pray

I now am in the mood, and cannot stay.

AIR.-GRIZZLE.

In hurry post for a licence,

In hurry ding dong I come back;

words

For that you shan't need bid me twice hence,
I'll be there, and here in a crack.
Hey ting,

My heart's on the wing,

I now could leap over the moon;

Let the chaplain

Set us grap'ling,

And we'll stock a baby-house soon.

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Tom. In the balcony which o'erhangs the stage,
I've seen one wench, two 'prentices engage:
This half-a-crown doth in his fingers hold,
That just lets peep a little bit of gold.
Miss the half guinea wisely doth purloin,
And scorns the bigger, and the baser coin.
TRIO.

Glum. Oh! the vixen pigmy brat,
Of inches scarce half six;
To slight me for a chit like that,
Ah! Mr. Tom, are these your tricks?
Hunc. Oh! the coarse salacious trull,
Who giant paramours twice ten
To bed can pull,
With hugs can lull,
Yet still would gull

Young gentlemen.

Tom. Little though I be,

I scorn the sturdy strum;

Nor ever she,

My dear, from thee

Shall debauch thy own Tom Thumb.

Glum. Oh the vixen, &c.

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