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His beard so frowsy, his gestures so aukward are, Both. You will lie till your're mouldy upon And his bagpipe has so drowsy a drone,
shelf. That if they find you, as I did, no backwarder, You may count on all the girls as your own.
Daph. You stump o' th' gutter, you hop o' my
thumb, Mys. [From within.] Pol, Pol! make haste
A husband for you must from Lilliput hither. Pol. Death, what a time to call !
Nysa. You stalking steeple, you gawky stag, Oh! rot your old lungs of leather.
Your husband must come
from Brobdige B'ye, Daph.
nag. Daph. B'ye, Pol.
Sour grapes !
Both. I'll humble your vanity, Mistress Trapes.
Daph. Miss, your assurance,
And miss, your high airs,
Are at their last prayers. Daph. Marry come up again,
Daph. No more of those freedoms, Miss Nysa, I Indeed, my dirty cousin !
beg. Have you a right to every swain? Nysa. Miss Daphne's conceit must be lowered a Nysa. Ay, though a dozen.
Liver white !
you can't bite, Nysa. Can you, Miss Maypole, suppose he will Nysa. This haughtiness soon will be laid in fall
Poor spite, &c.
Pride hurt, 8c.
Nysa. Young birds alone are caught with chaff; | SCENE III.-A Laton before Midas's House
At your base scheme I laugh.
Nysa. Good lack! what is come o'er me?
Daphne has stepped before me !
Envy and love devour me.
Pol doats upon ber phiz hard;
Midas appears now twenty times more Ne'er will I be left i' the lurch;
hideous. Ceuse your bribes and wheedling:
Ah, Nysa ! what resource !-a cloyster. Till I'm mude a bride i' the church,
Death alive-yet thither must I run,
And turn a nun.
In these greasy old tatters,
His charms brighter shine;
Then his guitar he clatters,
With tmkling divine.
But, my sister,
And me he passed by;
Of the fellow's
Bad taste, and blind eye. Midas, then Pan, and Pou listening.
SCENE IV.–Midas's Parlour.
Alid, Well, master Pol I'll tickle,
When he's in limbo,
Will stick her arms a-kimbo.
Midas, Mysis, and Pan, in consultation oder a
large Bowl of Punch, Pipes, and Tobacco.
Pan. So, squire ! well met I flew to know
your business. Mid. Why, Pan, this Pol we must bring down
on his knees. Pan. That were a feat, indeed;-a feat to
brag on. Mid. Let's home-we'll there concert it o'er
a flaggon. I'll make him skip
Pan. As St. George did the dragon.
Mid. Come, Pan, your toast-
has crossed us.
Pan. You reason right-
it's price is
If into your hen-yard
Steals slily, your poultry to ravage
attack him, With beagles you track him,
All's fair to destroy the fell savage.
No means do I scruple to bunish;
I'll o'erbear him,
Mid. Goody, as 'tis your request,
I pocket this here stuff';
At the inusical struggle
Blood, he shall Ay his country-that's enough.
Pan. Well said, my lad of wax!
Mid. Let's end the tankard, I have no head for business till I've drank bard. Pan. Nor hare iny guts brains in them till
they're addle, When I'm most rocky I best sit my saddle. Mid: Well, come, let's take one bouze, and
roar a catch, Then part to cur affairs.
Pan. A match !
If a riral thy character draw,
With black he will paint,
Make a de'il of a saint,
Throws his speciacles by,
Your betters you snub. Sil. Who will lend me a club,
This insolent puppy to drub?
You are an impudent pimp, and a grub. Dam. You're cajoled by a beggarly scrub, Sil. Who will rot in a powdering tub. Dam. Whom the prince of impostors I dub; Sil. A guinea for a club, Dam. Your bald pate you'll rub, Sil. The muckworm to drub. Dam. When you find that your cubSil. Rub off, sirrah ; rub, sirrah, rub. Dam. Is debauched by a whip'd syllabub.
Mid. Master Pol,
I'll buffet away from the plain, sir. Pan. And I'll assist
Your worship's fist
With all my might and main, sir. Mys. And I'll have a thump,
Though he is so plump,
And make such a wounded racket.
He shall rue on his knees 'em.
Like ugly witch on besom ;
Of treason to me!
Enter Sileno and Mysis, attended by DAPENE
Mys. Soh! you attend the trial we shall
drive hence Your vagabond
Sil. I smoke your foul contrivance.
cla:m I here forego; And with your Pol much joy I wish you.
Daph. O, gemini! say'st thou me so? Dear creature, let me kiss you. Nysa. Let us kneel, and beg his stay; papa
will back us. Daph. Mamma will storm. Nysa. What then ? she can but whack us.
Enter SILENO and DAMÆTAS, in wari
Argument. Sil. My Daph a wife for thee, the squire's base
pandar! To the plantations sooner would I send her.
Dam. Sir, your goud wife approved my offers.
Sil. Name her not, hag of Endor, What knew she of thee but thy coffers? Dam. And shall this ditch-born whelp, this
jack-anapes, By dint of congees and of scrapes Sil. These are thy slanders, and that cankered
hag'sDam. A thing made up of pilfered rags
Sil. Richer than thou, with all thy brags Of flocks, and herds, and money-bags.
Daph. Mother, sure you never
So sweet a suain ?
E'er trod the plain. Nysa. Father, hopes you gave her,
Don't deceive her ;
What the devil's here to do,
Ye logger heads and gypsies ? Sirrah, you ! and hussy, you !
And each of you tipsy is : But I'll as sure pull down your pride as
A gun, or as I'm Justice Midas.
O tremendous Justice Midas!
Mid. I'm given to understand, that you are all
in a pother here, Disputing whether Pan or Pol shall play
to you another year. Dare
you think your clumsy lugs so pro
per to decide, as
Sunk for ever
In pining care ?
From black despair.
His voice, shape, and fuce ;
Ay, let him stay,
Could see him swing,
For his badness. Sil. 'Tis no such thing. Dam. Must Pan resign, to this fop, his em
ployment ? Asust I, to him, yield of Daphne the
enjoyment? Mys. Ne'er while a tongue I brandish,
Daphne shall blandish.
Herds and clinkum?
lie! Sil. Nysa. Pan's drone is fit for wild rocks and
bleak mountains; Daph. Pol's lyre suits best our cool grots und
clear fountains. Nysa. Pol is
Let Pan fall.
O tremendous, fc.
Mid. So, you allow it, then ! ye mobbish rab-.
Enter Pol and Pan sederally. Oli, here comes Pol and Pan; now stint your
gabble. Fetch my great chair! I'll quickly, end this
You lie, you
Now I'm seated,
Like the sophi on his throne;
my presence, Scoundrel peasants,
Shall not call their souls their own.
Shall be fixed musician chief :
But be transporied like a thief.
O tremendous, &c.
· Midas comes forward, enraged, attended by a
crowd of Nymphs and Swains. Mid. Peace, ho! is hell broke loose? what
means this jawing? Under my very nose this clapper clawing!
Dam. Masters, will you abide by this condi
tion? Pan. I ask no better. Pol. I am all submission.
Pan. Strike up sweet sir.
Pan shall remain;
Pol quit the plain.
O tremendous, 8c.
of your pother about this or that ; Your shrieking, or squeaking, a sharp or a Mid. All bow with me to mighty Pasflat :
throne hinI'm sharp by my bumpers, you're flat, master No pouting, -and with festal chorus crown Pol;
bimSo, here goes a set to at toll-de-roll-loll !
[The Crowd form two Ranks beside the Chair,
and join in the Chorus, whilst Midas croans When Beauty her pack of poor lovers would
him with Bays.
Sce, triumphant, sits the bard,
Crowned with bays, his due reaard; roll-loll!
Eriled, Pol shall wander far;
Exiled, twang his faint guitar ; Mankind are a medley--a chance medley
While, with echoing shouts of praise,
We the bagpipe's glory raise. All start in full cry, to give Dame Fortune
chace : There's catch as catch can, hit or miss, luck is
Mid. 'Tis well. What keeps you here, you all;
ragamuffin ? And luck's the best tune of life's toll-de-roll- Go trudge—or do you wait for a good ouffing? loll!
Pol. Now, all attend. [Throws off his Disguise,
and appears as Apollo.]-The wrath of I've done, please your worship, 'tis rather too Jove, for rapine, long ;
Corruption, lust, pride, fraud, there's no escapI only meant life is but an old song.
ing, The world's bui a tragedy, comedy, droll,
Tremble, thou wretch ! thou'st stretched thy ulWhere all act the scene of toll-de-roll-loll!
Thou and thy tools shall go to pot together, Mid. By jingo! well performed for one of his
AIR. age; How, hang dog! don't you blush to shew your
Dunce, I did but sham, visage?
For Apollo I am,
God of Music, and King of Parnass ;
Thy scurvy decree,
For Pan against ine,
I reward with the ears of an ass.
Mid. Detected, baulked, and small,
On our marrow-bones we fall.
Mid. Forgive us, mighty Sol. Alas, alas!
Apollo. Thou a Billingsgate quean, [To Mrs. But from her charms when sundered,
Thou a pander obscene,
To DAN. Aš Midas' frowns presage;
H'ith strumpets and bailifs shell class; Each hour will seem an hundred;
Thou, driven from man, Each day appear an age.
Shalt wunder with Pan,
He a stinking old goat, thou an ass, ar Mid. Silence! this just decree, all, at your
ass, &c. peril, Obedient hear-else I shall use you very ill.