seized Curtain rises; Justices, Constables, &c. dis- My fluttering heart, and to myself I said, covered. And if our Tom had lived, he'd surely been Jus. Ha! sure some powerful sympathy di I am thy father, here's thy mother, there Mother. O ecstasy of bliss! Son. O most unlook'd for happiness! [They faint alternately in each others arms. Puff. There, you see relationship like murder will out. "Jus. Now let's revive-else were this joy too much! But come and we'll unfold the rest within; And thou, my boy, must needs want rest and food. Hence may each orphan hope, as chance directs, To find a father where he least expects!" [Exeunt. Puff. What do you think of that? Dan. One of the finest discovery scenes I ever saw. Why, this under plot would have made a tragedy itself. Sneer. Ay, or a comedy either. Puff. And keeps quite clear you see of the other. Enter Scenemen taking away the Seats. Puff. The scene remains, does it? Scene. Yes, sir. his situation, with the whole affairs of the nation on his head, should have time to talk ;— but hush! or you'll put him out. Sneer. Put him out! how the plague can that be, if he's not going to say any thing? Puff. There is a reason! why, his part is to think, and how the plague! do you imagine he can think if you keep talking? Dan. That's very true, upon my word! [BURLEIGH comes forward, shakes his head and exit. Sneer. He is very perfect indeed.-Now pray what did he mean by that? Puff. You don't take it? Sneer. No, I don't, upon my soul. Puff. Why, by that shake of the head, he Puff. You are to leave one chair, you know-gave you to understand, that even though they But it is always awkward in a tragedy, to have you fellows coming in in your playhouse liveries to remove things-I wish that could be managed better. So now for my mysterious yeoman. Enter a Beefeater. had more justice in their cause, and wisdom in their measures; yet if their was not a greater spirit shewn on the part of the people, the country would at last fall a sacrifice to the hostile ambition of the Spanish monarchy. Sneer. The devil!-Did he mean all that by "Beef. Perdition catch my soul but I do shaking his head. Sncer. Haven't I heard that line before? Puff. Every word of it-if he shook his head as I taught him. Dan. Ah! there certainly is a deal to be done on the stage by dumb show, and expression of face, and a judicious author knows how much he may trust to it. Sneer. O, here are some of our old acquain Puff. Gad! now you put me in mind on't I believe there is; but that's of no consequence —all that can be said is, that two people hap-tance. pened to hit on the same thought-and Shakspeare made use of it first, that's all. Sneer. Very true. Puff. Now, sir, your soliloquy-but speak more to the pit, if you please-the soliloquy always to the pit, that's a rule. 66 Beef. Though hopeless love finds comfort It never can endure a rival's bliss! [Exit Beefeater. Dan. That's a very short soliloquy. Puff. Yes; but it would have been a great deal longer if he had not been observed. Sneer. A most sentimental Beefeater that, Enter HATTON and RALEIGH. "Sir C. My neice, and your neice too! By heav'n! there's witchcraft in't-He could not else Have gain'd their hearts-But see where they approach; Some horrid purpose low'ring on their brows! Sir W. Let us withdraw and mark them." [They withdraw. Sneer. What is all this? Puff. Ah! here has been more pruning!but the fact is, these two young ladies are also in love with Don Whiskerandos.-Now, gentlemen, this scene goes entirely for what we call situation and stage effect, by which the greatest applause may be obtained, without the assistance of language, sentiment, or character: pray mark! [Takes up the other sword. Dan. That's excellently contrived!—it seems as if the two uncles had left their swords on purpose for them. Puff. No, egad, they could not help leaving SIR CHRISTOPER and SIR WALTER come for-them. ward. Both. Hold! we will avenge you. Whisk. Hold you, or see your neices bleed," [The two Neices draw their two daggers to strike WHISKERANDOS; the two uncles, at the instant, with their two swords drawn, catch their two Neices' Arms, and turn the points of their swords to WHISKERANDOS, who immediately draws two daggers, and holds them to the two Neices' bosoms. Puff. There's situation for you! there's an heroic group!-You see the ladies can't stab Whiskerandos-he durst not strike them for fear of their uncles-the uncles durst not kill him, because of their neices: I have them all at a dead lock!-for every one of them is afraid to let go first. Sneer. Why, then, they must stand there for ever. Puff. So they would, if I hadn't a very fine contrivance for't. Now mind Enter Beefeater with his Halberd. "Whisk. Vengeance, and Tilburina. [They fight, and after the usual number of tierce Was fatal-Captain thou hast fenced well! Beef.-nity-He would have added, but stern Cut short his being, and the noun at once!" Puff. O, my dear sir, you are too slow-Now mind me.-Sir, shall I trouble you to die again? Whisk. And Whiskerandos quits this bustling scene For all eter Beef. -nity-He would have added”Puff. No, sir-that's not it-once more, if you please. Whisk. I wish, sir, you would practise this without me: I can't stay dying here all night." Puff. Very well, we'll go over it by and by. "Beef. In the queen's name I charge you all I must humour these gentlemen. to drop Your swords and daggers!" [They drop their swords and daggers. Sneer. That is a contrivance indeed. Puff. Aye-in the queen's name. "Sir C. Come, neice! Sir W. Come, neice. [Exeunt with the two Neices. Whisk. What's he, who bids us thus renounce our guard? Beef. Thou must do more-renounce thy Whisk. Thou liest-base Beefeater! By heaven thou'st rous'd the lion in my heart! cout. Am I a Beefeater now? Or beams my crest as terrible as when, Puff. There, egad! he comes out to be the very captain of the privateer who had taken Whiskerandos prisoner; and was himself an old lover of Tilburina's. Dan. Admirably managed, indeed! [Exit WHISKERANDOS. "Beef. Farewell- -brave Spaniard! and when next" Puff. Dear sir, you needn't speak that speech as the body has walked off. "Beef. That's true, sir-then I'll join the fleet." Puff. If you please. [Exit Beefeater. Now who comes on? Enter Governor with his air properly disordered. "Gov. A hemisphere of evil planets reign! And every planet sheds contagious phrenzy! My Spanish prisoner is slain ! my daughter, Meeting the dead corse borne along, has gone Distract ! [A loud flourish of Trumpets. But, hark! I am summoned to the fort, Perhaps the fleets have met ! amazing crisis! O Tilburina! from thy aged father's beard Thou'st pluck'd the few brown hairs which time had left!" [Exit Governor. Sneer. Poor gentleman! Puff. Yes; and no one to blame but his daughter! Dan. And the planets Puff. True.-Now enter Tilburina! Sneer. Egad, the business comes on quick here. Puff. Yes, sir; now she comes in stark mad, the Spanish Armada, otherwise, egad I have no in white satin. Sneer. Why in white satin? Puff. O lord, sir, when a heroine goes mad, she always goes into white satin-don't she, Dangle? Dan. Always-it's a rule. Puff. Yes-here it is-[Looking at the book. Enter Tilburina stark mad, in white satin, and her confidant stark mad, in white linen." Enter TILBURINA and Confidant mad, according to costume. Sneer. But what the deuce, is the confidant to be mad too? Puff. To be sure she is: the confidant is always to do whatever her mistress does; weep when she weeps, smile when she smiles, go mad when she goes mad.-Now, madam Confidant -but keep your madness in the back ground, if you please. "Til. The wind whistles-the moon rises see, They have kill'd my squirrel in his cage! He's here! He's there! He's every where!- Puff. There, did you ever desire to see any body madder than that? Sneer. Never while I live! Puff. You observed how she mangled the metre? Dan. Yes;-egad, it was the first thing made me suspect she was out of her senses. Sneer. And pray what becomes of her? Puff. She is gone to throw herself into the sea to be sure; and that brings us at once to the scene of action, and so to my catastrophemy sea-fight I mean. Sneer. What, you bring that in at last? Puff. Yes-yes--you know my play is called occasion for the battle at all.-Now then for my Enter THAMES, with two Attendants. Puff. Very well, indeed.-See, gentlemen, there's a river for you!-This is blending a little of the masque with my tragedy-a new fancy, you know, and very useful in my case; for as there must be a procession, I suppose Thames and all his tributary rivers to compliment Britannia with a fete in honour of the victory. Sneer. But pray, who are these gentlemen in green with him? Puff. Those?-those are his banks. Puff. Yes; one crown'd with alders, and the other with a villa !—you take the allusions? but hey! what the plague! you have got both your banks on one side-Here, sir, come round-Ever while you live, Thames, go between your banks. [Bell rings.]-There, soh! stand aside, my dear friends!-away, Thames ! [Erit THAMES between his banks. [Flourish of Drums, Trumpets, Cannon, &c. &c. Scene changes to the Sea-the Fleets engage the music plays "Britons strike home."-Spanish fleet destroyed by fire ships, &c.-English fleet advances-Music plays "Rule Britannia."-The procession of all the English Rivers and their Tributaries, with their Emblems, &c. begins with Handel's Water Music, ends with a Chorus to the March in Judas Maccabæus.-During this scene, PUFF directs and applauds, every thing- -then Puff. Well, pretty well-but not quite perfect-so, ladies and gentlemen, if you please, we'll rehearse this piece again to-morrow. [Exeunt. |