sion, I should not have strength to proceed agreeably to the expectation I had given my friends, and thereby shamefully expose myself. But Divine goodness appeared for my help with this animating assurance, that if I remained willing to become like a cork on the mighty ocean of service, which my great Master should require of me, in the storm and in the calm, free from the lead of human reason, not consulting and conferring with flesh and blood, willing to be wafted hither and thither, as the Spirit of the Lord my God should blow upon me, he would care for me every day and every way; so that there should be no lack of strength to encounter all my difficulties. Here my discouragements vanished.

The yearly meeting being over, I took leave of my dear wife, now in the seventy-fifth year of her age, the most trying parting we ever experienced. I left her under the care of one of our daughters, and then proceeded to my cottage at Highbury near Hitchin, which must either be kept shut up during my long absence or parted with: but duty pointed to my parting with the cottage and furniture. My cottage to me had possessed many charms: I had laboured and toiled to make it a comfortable abode for our declining years, hoping to have kept it for our residence, until we were taken to the house appointed for all living. Nature had many strugglings to endure, before it made that free-will offering called for but believing it would be the most effectual way to have my mind freed from worldly cares, I yielded so does the Most High work in us and for us, as we are willing to devote ourselves to him, then he fails not to make the hard things easy, and sweetens the bitter cup of self-denial. The way opened for my getting quit of all in a manner I never looked for, and feeling thus lossened from this earthly shackle, I made the necessary preparations for my journey.

Sixth-day, 15th of 6th mo. I proceeded by coach to Sheffield. First-day, attended meeting there, in the afternoon; and accompanied by my son and daughter Heppenstall, I proceeded to Doncaster, attended the evening meeting there. Second-day, accompanied by my kind friend Richard Cockin, I proceeded to Hull. On inquiry, no vessel was to sail for Rotterdam before First-day week. This detention appeared trying, as I had no object to pursue in the meantime; and I feared my mind should in any way be diverted from the spot where I was led to hope it was safely centered. Fourth-day, attended meeting here, and wrote to my dear wife. The quarterly meeting to be held at York falling the following week, I left Hull on Fifth-day, and reached Ackworth by night; where I was kindly cared for by Robert and Hannah Whitaker; next day reached Leeds. First-day morning, attended meeting, and in the afternoon walked to Bradford, attended the evening meeting there, taking up my abode with my kind friends

John and Mary Hustler, who not only supplied my present, but attended to some of my future wants on the Continent. Secondday, reached York, where I was kindly cared for by William Richardson and his wife. Third-day evening, attended the select quarterly meeting. Fourth-day, the quarterly meeting for discipline commenced. Divine goodness again condescended to rest on the members of this quarterly meeting through its several sittings; whereby a preciously uniting feeling was manifest in transacting the concerns that came before the meeting, to the humbling of many of our hearts, and awakening in us the language of high praises to our God. Fifth-day evening, in company with my kind friend Edward Reame and wife, I rode to Pocklington inn, where we took up our abode for the night; next day morning rode to Beverley to breakfast, had a religious opportunity in the family, and left under a comfortable hope that what had been offered was kindly received: reached Hull to dinner.

232

CHAPTER XIV.

FIRST-DAY morning, I went on board the York packet, Captain Husband, for Rotterdam. We reached the Spurn about noon, when the wind becoming a-head, we cast anchor: our captain with the passengers went on shore to spend the remainder of the day. By this time my stomach felt much disposed to seasickness, which might have been relieved, could I have felt easy to accompany them; but my place appeared to be to keep quiet on board, which afforded me an opportunity of taking a retrospect of my movements thus far, in doing which, no condemnation attaching, I endeavoured after resignation to this detention. Secondday morning, we weighed anchor again, and proceeded on our passage: my sufferings increased through sickness and total loss of appetite, until Fourth-day morning, when we came abreast of that part of the Dutch coast called the Brill. The wind not being favourable for our getting up the river to Rotterdam, in company with an Englishman, a passenger acquainted with the Dutch language, I went on shore, travelled about twenty English miles by land and by canal, and reached Rotterdam in the evening. At the boat my companion left me; I was not aware of the difficulty I should have to find the residence of the merchant I was to apply to for a suitable lodging; but when this was accomplished, my difficulties were not at an end, from his being unacquainted with the English language. But as I have aforetime found patience and perseverance have enabled me to get through great difficulties, I endeavoured to maintain my hold on hope; we proceeded to a hotel, where I was left, understanding the master of the house spoke English. My supper-time came, the master of the house was from home: by signs I procured some fruit and bread, and my wants being now supplied until morning, I retired to rest. Next morning, the partner of the merchant to whom I was addressed, came to my hotel, offered his services as my guide and interpreter for the day, which I gladly accepted. I had my bill cashed, for which I received guilders, large silver money: cleared my luggage, and forwarded it to my hotel. Feeling pressed in my mind to make my way to Amsterdam, we proceeded to secure a place in the day-boat, but we were too late for it. On inquiry,

the cabin of the night-boat was secured by a man and his son, who would not allow me a place with them, although I offered to share in the expense feeling most easy to proceed by the night-boat, I concluded to make the best of the accommodation the deck afforded, with a tarpaulin for a covering, and my luggage for cushions, I made my bed, and passed the night comfortably; reached Amsterdam in the morning early. I felt thankful to reach the house of my kind friend J. S. Mollet.

As my prospect of remaining here was short, it was needful I should make the best use of my time. Having a letter for the person who occupies the property belonging to the Society here, accompanied by my kind friend J. S. Mollet, we proceeded to him. Whilst J. S. Mollet, this person, and her family were in conversation in the Dutch language, my mind became charged with something for communication. I requested my friend J. S. Mollet would translate for me; we believed it obtained their solid attention; after which, I took a view of the meeting-house and premises. The meeting-house made a desolate appearance; the forms mostly gone to decay, the few that were left were taken into an upper story of the dwelling-house. The meeting-house appeared well calculated for accommodating about two hundred persons, and very quietly situated: in the upper story of the dwelling-house were several large chests, in which were a quantity of Barclay's Apology, and Sewel's History, in sheets, with pamphlets in the Dutch language; a few of the Apology and Sewel's History we had bound, and distributed where they were likely to be useful. Offer was made to have the meeting-house seated with chairs to hold a meeting in on First-day, and to give notice. After endeavouring to give this kind offer all the consideration I was capable of, it felt to my mind safest to decline having the meetinghouse opened on my account.

Leaving the meeting-house, I requested my friend J. S. Mollet to take me to the habitation of such seeking-minded individuals he himself had knowledge of. Our first visit was to a pious bookseller and his sister; and although we were not able ourselves to exchange a sentiment on religious subjects, that nearness of affection and union of spirit, which the true disciples of the great Master experience, (differ as they may in profession or language the world over,) was felt by me with these my new acquaintance, and it was as if our friendship had been maintained from our youth. They requested I might be told, our thus meeting was a great treat to their minds, saying, Although we cannot by words converse, I find we can converse here,' (the man putting his hand to his breast.) I desired my companion to give our little company that which arose in my mind for them, and I was largely opened in the line of the ministry, which produced such prostration of soul, that at our

parting, they acknowledged they believed the remembrance of it never would be wholly lost sight of. We took our tea with a family who spoke my native language, and passed the afternoon in deliberately conversing on subjects of interest to minds disposed to attend to things of a serious nature; and I endeavoured to satisfy their inquiries respecting the principles which we profess to hold, giving them our reasons for dissenting from other religious professors on some particular points,—the nature of our meetings for discipline, our care over our members, the manner the Society treats delinquent members, its care over the poor, and over its ministers: a general assent was manifested to the propriety of these various proceedings, and their tendency to produce harmony amongst us. Time had passed swiftly over, and it being late, I proposed our moving home; but being importuned to take supper, which we could not well refuse, on our being seated at the supper-table, a solemn pause was made, the like took place before the servant removed the things from the table, which I concluded had taken place out of respect to us, the family knowing Friends were in this practice. After the supper-things were cleared away, I was constrained to inform our kind friends, how much I found I stood daily in need of all the help I could receive from the Divine Power; and that many would be the opportunities afforded us during each day, if we were but willing to embrace them, wherein this help would be dispensed; that a pause at the commencement and close of our meals, if done in a proper disposition of mind, as unto God, and not to be seen of men, would prove seasons, in which suitable portions of spiritual food would be received: to the truth of which they feelingly subscribed. I felt it further laid upon me to advert to the practice of collecting the family together each day, for the purpose of reading the Scriptures, and the advantage of making a pause previous to and after the reading. This I was informed was their practice, and that they hoped they could say it had been a beneficial one to them; they also stated that the various remarks given me to make, were very salutary, adding at our parting, it had been a truly interesting evening to them all; and that such were the impressions made on their minds, they regretted our acquaintance had been and was likely to be of such short duration.

Seventh-day morning, feeling something further stirring in my mind towards my dear friend the bookseller, accompanied by my kind friend J. S. Mollet, we made him another call. On our way, a young man, an Englishman, pressed us to turn into his shop, recommending me to see the palace and gallery of fine paintings, to which he told me I might have easy access. Finding he was a high professor, I gave him to understand, what had been my motives for leaving my own home to visit the Continent; adding, that spending my time in such a way as he advised, would ill be