1 55. I must be so just as to obferve I have formerly feen of this fect at our other University; though not distinguished by the appellation, which the learned hiftorian, my correfpondent, reports they bear at Cambridge. They were ever looked upon as a people that impaired themfelves more by their ftrict applications to the rules of their order, than any other students whatever. Others feldem hurt themselves any further than to gain weak eyes, and fometimes head-achs; but there philofophers are feized all over with a general inability, indo lence, and wearinefs, and a certain impatience of the place they are in, with an heavinefs in removing to another, No. THURSDAY, MAY 3. --Intus & in jecore agro- M Our pafons play the tyrants in our breafts. OST'of the trades, profeffions,and ways of living among mankind, take their origi nak either from the love of pleaters, or the feat of want. The former, when it become too mina lent degenerates into luxury, and the latter int Avarice. As thefe two principles of aflior de different ways, Perfius has given us a very Furorra ons account of a young fellow who was rebfed out of his bed, in order to be fent upon a long voyage by Avarice, and afterwards over-pora fuaded and kept at home by Luxury. I fall fet down at length the pleadings of these two image. nary perfons, as they are in the criginal, with Mr. Dryden's tranflation of them. Manè piger ftertis: furge, inquit Avaritia; cia Jam pueris pellem fuccinctus & enophorum aptas The Lowngers are fatisfied with being merely part of the number of mankind, without diftin guishing themselves from amongst them. They may be faid rather to fuffer their time to pafs, than -to fpend it, without regard to the past, or profpe& of the future. All they know of life is only the present inftant, and do not taste even that. When one of this order happens to be a man of fortune, the expence of his time is transferred to his coach and horses, and his life is to be meafured by ther motion, not his own enjoyments or fuffer ngs. The chief entertainment one of these philofophers can poffibly propofe to himself, is to get a reilth of drefs. This, methinks, might diverfify the per-En quid agis Dupliti in diverfum fcinderis shamo 1 fon he is weary of, his own dear felf, to himfelt.-I Hanccine, an bunc fequeris ?have known thefe two amufements make one of thefe philofophers make a tolerable figure in the world; with variety of dretes in public affemblies in town, and quick motion of his horfes out of it, now to Bath, now to Tunbridge, then to New Market, and then to London, he has in procefs of time brought it to pafs, that his coach and "his horfes have been mentioned in all thofe places. When the Lowngers leave an academic life, and inftead of this more elegant way of appearing in the polite world, retire to the feats of their anceftors, they ufually join a pack of dogs, and employ their days in defending their poultry from foxes: I do not know any other method that any of this order has ever taken to make a noife in the world; but I fall inquire into fuch about this town as have arrived at the dignity of being Lowngers By. Be fure to turn the penny; lye and fwear; the force of natural parts, without having ever: 'Tis wholefome fin's bur Jove, thou say?fi, will feen an Univerfity; and fond my correspondent, for the embellishment of his book, the names and hiftory of those who pafs their lives without any Incidents at all; and how they fhift coffee-houfes and chocolate-houfes from hour to hour, to get over the infupportable labour of doing nothing. R Whether alone, or in thy harlot's lapy And with post-hafte thy running markets. hear, Swear, fool, or'ftarve; for the Dilemma's even And And he may ask this civil queftion; friend, Cubb'd in a cabbin, on a mattress laid, On a brown George, with loufed fwobbers, fed A name, a nothing but an old wife's tale. When a government flourishes in conquefts, and 3 fecure from foreign attacks, it naturally falls into all the pleasures of luxury; and as these pleasures are very expenfive, they put thofe who are addicted to them upon raising fresh fupplies of money, by all the methods of rapacioufnefs and Corruption; fo that avarice and luxury very often become one complicated principle of action, in shose whofe hearts are wholly fet upon cafe, magmificence, and pleafure. The most elegant and Correct of all the Latin hiftorians obferves, that in is time, when the moft formidable states of the world were fubdued by the Romans, the Republic unk into those two vices of a quite different naeurs, luxury and avarice; and accordingly decribes Catiline as one who coveted the wealth of other men, at the fame time that he fquander'd way his own. This obfervation on the common wealth, when it was in its height of power and riches, holds good of all governments that are Settled in a state of safe and profperity. At fuch simes men naturally endeavour to outfhine one another in pomp and splendor, and having no fears so alarm them from abroad, indulge themselves in the enjoyment of all the pleasures they can get into their poffeffion which naturally produces avarice, and an immoderate purfuit after wealth and riches. As I was humouring myfell in the fpeculation of these two great principles of action, I could not forbear throwing my thoughts into a little kind of allegory-or fable, with which I fhall here prefent my reader. Tiure were two very powerful tyrants engaged in a perpetual war against each other: The name of the firitwas Luxury; and of the fecond, Avarice. The aim of each of them was no lefs than univerfal monarchy over the hearts of mankind. Lury had many generals under him, who did m great fervices, as Pleafure, Mirth, Pomp and Fathion, Avarice was likewife very strong in his officers, being faithfully ferved by Hunger, Industry, Care, and Watchfulness: he had likewife a privy-counfellor who was always at his elbow, and whispering fomething or other in his ear: the name of this privy-counfellor was Poverty. "As Avarice conducted himself by the counfels of Poverty, his antagonist was intirely guided by the dictates and advice of plenty, who was his first unfellor and minifter of ftate, that concerted all stacatures for him, and never departed out of his fight. While thefs two great rivals were thus contending for empire, their conquests were very various. Luxury got poffeffion of one heart, and Avarice of another. The father of a family would often range himself under the banners of Avarice, and the son under those of Luxury. The wife and husband would often declare themselves on the two different parties; nay, the fame perfon would very often fide with one in his youth, and revolt to the other, in his old age. Indeed the wife men of the world ftood neuter; but alas! their numbers were not confiderable. At length, when these two potentates had wearied them felves with waging war upon one another, they agreed upon an interview, at which neither of their counsellors were to be prefent. It is faid that Luxury began the parley, and after having represented the endless state of war in which they were engaged, told his enemy, with a frankness of heart which is natural to him, that he believed they two fhould be very good friends, were it not for the inftigations of Poverty, that pernicious counsellor, who made an ill ufe of his ear, and filled him with groundless apprehenfions, and prejudices. To this Avarice replied, that he looked upon Plenty, the first minister of his anta gonift, to be a much more destructive counfellor than Poverty, for that he was perpeturally fuggefting pleasures, banishing all the neceffary cautions against want, and confequently undermining those principles on which the government of Avarice was founded. At laft, in order to an accommodation, they agreed upon this preliminary: That each of them should immediately difinifs his pri vy-counfellor. When things were thus far adfufted towards a peace, all other differences were foon accommodated, infomuch that for the future they refolved to live as good friends and confede: rates, and to fhare between them whatever conquests were made on either fide. For this reafon we now find Luxury and Avarice taking poffeffion of the fame heart, and dividing the fame perfon between them. To which I fhall only addly add, that fince the difcarding of the counsellors abovementioned, Avarice fupplies Luxury in the room of Plenty, as Luxury promps Avarice in the place of Poverty. T с LUCAN, i. 454 HE Americans believe that all creatures have fouls, not only men and women, but brutes, vegetables, nay even the most inanimate things, as ftocks and ftones. They believe the fame of all the works of art, as of knives, boots, looking-glaffes; and that as any of these things perifh, their fouls go into another world, which is inhabited by the ghosts of men and women, For this reafon they always place by the corps of their dead friend a bow and arrows, that he may make ufe of them in the other world, as he did of their wooden bodies in this. How abfurd foever fuch an opinion as this may appear, our European phi lofophers have maintained feveral notions altogether as improbable. Some of Plato's followers in particular, when they talk of the world of ideas, entertain us with fubftances and beings no left extravagant and chimerical, Many Ariftotelians have likewife fpoken as unintelligbly of their fubftantial forms. I fhall only inftance Albertus Magnus, who in his differtation upon the loadftone obferving, that fire will deftroy its magnenetic virtues, tells us that he took particular notice of one as it lay glowing amidst an heap of burning coals, and that he perceived a certain blue vapour to arife from it, which he believed might be the fubftantial form, that is, in our Weft-Indian phrafe, the Soul of the loadstone. There is a tradition among the Americans, that one of their countrymen defcended in a vifion to the great repofitory of fouls, or, as we call it here, to the other world; and that upon his return he gave his friends a distinct account of every thing he saw among thofe regions of the dead. A friend of mine, whom I have formerly mentioned, prevailed upon one of the interpreters of the Indian kings, to inquire of them, if poffible, what tradition they have among them, of this matter; which, as well as he could learn by many questions which he afked them at feveral times, was in substance as follows. which he had before paffed through. As he was coming out of this delightful part of the wood, and entering upon the plains it inclosed, he faw feveral horfemen rushing by him, and a little while after heard the cry of a pack of dogs. He had not liftened long before he faw the appari tion of a milk-white teed, with a young man on the back of it, advancing upon full ftretch after the fouls of about an hundred beagles that were hunting down the ghost of an hare, which run away before them with unfpeakable swiftnefs. As the man on the milk-white fteed came by him, he looked upon him very attentively, and found him to be the young prince Nicharagua, who died about half a year before, and by reafon of his great virtues was at that time lamented over all the Western parts of America. He had no fooner got out of the wood, but he was entertained with such a landfkip of flowery plains, green meadows, running streams, funny hills, and fhady vales, as were not to be repre fented by his own expreffions, nor, as he said, by the conceptions of others. This happy region was peopled with innumerable fwarms of/ fpirits, who applied themfelves to exercises and diverfions according as their fancies led them. Some of them were toffing the figure of a coit; others were pitching the shadow of a bar; others were breaking the apparition of a horse; and multitudes employing themselves upon ingenious handicrafts with the fouls of departed utenfils, for that is the name which in the Indian langua they give their tools when they are burnt or broken. As he travelled through this delightful fcene, he was very often tempted to pluck the flowers that rofe every where about him in the greatest variety and profufion, having never seen several of them in his own country; but he quickly found that though they were objects of his fight, they were not liable to his touch. He at length came to the fide of a great river, and being a good fisherman himself, ftood upon the banks of it fome time to look upon an angler that had taken a great many shapes of fishes, which lay flouncing up and down by him. The vifionary, whofe name was Marraton, after having travelled for a long space under an hollow mountain, arrived at length on the confines of this world of fpirits, but could not enter it by reafon of a thick foreft made up of bufhes, brambles, and pointed thorns, fo perplexed and interwoven with one another, that it was impoffible to find a paffage through it. Whilft he was looking about for fome track or path-way that might be worn in any part of it, he faw an huge lion couched under the fide of it, who kept his eye upon him in the fame pofture as when he watches for his prey. The Indian immediately ftarted back, whilft the lion, rofe with a fpring, and leaped towards him, Being wholly deftitute of all other weapons, he ftooped down to take up an huge ftone in his hand; but to his infinite furprise grasped nothing, and found the fuppofed ftone to be only the apparition of one. If he was disappointed on this fide, he was as much pleased on the other, when he found the lion, which had feized on his left shoulder, had no power to hurt him, I fhould have told my reader, that this Indiana and was only the ghost of that ravenous creature had been formerly married to one of the greatest which it appeared to be. He no fooner got rid beauties of his country, by whom he had several of his impotent enemy, but he marched up to children. This couple were fo famous for their the wood, and after having furveyed it for fome love and conftancy to one another, that the Intime, endeavoured to prefs into one part of it dians to this day, when they gave a married man that was a little thinner than the reft; when joy of his wife, with that they may live together again, to his great furprize, he found the brines like Marraton and Yaratilda. Marraton had not made no refiftánce, but he walked through bri-food long by the fisherman when he faw the fha, ers and brambles with the fame eafe as through the open air; and, in short, that this whole wood was nothing elfe but a wood of fhades. He immediately concluded, that this huge thicket of thorns and brakes was defigned as a kind of fence or quickfet hedge to the ghofts it inclofed; and that probably their foft fubftances might be torn by thefe fubtle points and prickles, which were too weak to make any impreffions in flesh and blood. With this thought he refolved to travel through this intricate wood; when by degrees he felt a gale of perfumes breathing upon him, that grew ftronger and fweeter in proportion as he advanced. He had not proceeded much further, when he observed the thorns and briers to end, and give place to a thousand beautiful green trees covered with bloffoms of the fineft fcents and colours, that formed a wilderness of fweets, and were a kind of lining to shofe ragged fcenes dow of his beloved Yaratilda, who had for fome time fixed her eyes upon him before he difcovered her. Her arms were ftretch'd out towards him, floods of tears ran down her eyes; her looks, her hands, her voice called him over to her; and at the fame time icemed to tell him that the river was unpaffable. Who can defcribe the paffion made up of joy, forrow, love, defire, aftonishment, that rofe in the Indian upon the fight of his dear Yaratilda? He could exprefs it by nothing but his tears, which ran like a river down his cheeks as he looked upon her. He had not stood in this pofture long, before he plunged into the ftream that lay before him: and finding it to be nothing but the phantom of a river, walked on the bottom of it 'till he arofe on the other fide. At his approach Yaratilda flew into his arms. whilst Marraton wished himself difencumbered of that body which kept her from his embraces. K 2 After many questions and endearments on both fides, the conducted him to a bower which the had dretted with her own hands with all the ornaments that could be inet with in thefe blooming regions. She had made it gay beyond imagination, and was every day adding fomething new to it. As Marraton food aflonished at the unfpeakable beauty of her habitation, and ravished with the fragrancy that came from every part of it, Yaratilda told him that he was preparing this bower for his reception, as well knowing that his picty to his ged, and his faithful dealing towards men, would certainly bring him to that happy place, whenever his life should be at an end. She then brought two of her children to him, who died fome years before, and refided with her in the fame delightful bower; advising him to breed up thofe others which where fill with him in fuch a manner, that they might hereafter all of them meet together in this happy place. ens to kick him out of the houfe. I have heard her, in her wrath, call a fubftantial tradesman a loufy cur; and remember one day, when the could not think of the name of a perfon, the defcribed him, in a large company of men and ladies, by the fellow with the broad fhoulders. If thofe fpeeches and actions, which in their own nature are indifferent, appear ridiculous when they proceed from a wrong fex, the faults and imperfections of one fex transplanted into another, appear black and monftrous. As for the men, I fhall not in this paper any further concern myfelf about them; but as I would fain contribute to make woman-kind, which is the most beautiful part of the creation, intirely amiable, and wear out all thofe little fpots and blemifhes that are apt to rife among the charms which nature has poured out upon them, I fhall dedicate this paper to their fervice, The fpot which I would here endeavour to clear them of, is that party-rage which of late years is very much crept into their converfation. This is, in its nature, a male vice, and made up of many angry and cruel paffions that are altogether repugnant to the foftnefs, the modefty, and thof other endearing qualities which are natural to the fair fex. Women were formed to temper mankind, and footh them into tendernefs and compaffion; not to fet an edge upon their minds, and blow up in them thofe pafions which are too apt to Crife of their own accord. When I have feen a pretty mouth uttering calumnies and invectives, what would I not have given to have ftopt it? How have I been troubled to fee fome of the fineft features in the world grow pale, and tremble with party-rage? Camilla is one of the greatest beauties in the British nation, and yet one party, than upon being the toast of both. values her.elf more upon being the Virago of The dear creature, about a week ago, encountered the fierce and beautiful Penthefilea acrofs a tea-table; but in the height of her anger, as The tradition tells us further, that he had afterwards a fight of thefe difinal habitations which are the portion of il men after death; and mentlons foveral mölten feas of gold, in which were plunged the fouls of barbarous Europeans, who put to the fword fo many thousands of poor Indians for the fake of that precious metal; but having already touched upon the chief points of this tradition, and exceeded the meature of my paper, I fhall not give any further account of it. No 57. Juv. Sat. vi. 251. DRYDEN. HEN the wife of Hedor, in Homer's tourfes with her husband about chanced to the the battle in which he was going to engage; the hero, dearing her to leave that matter to his care, bids her go to her maids and mind her ipinning; by which the poet intimates, that men and women ought to bufy themfives in their proper pheres, and on fach matters only as are fuitable to their refpective fex. I am at this time acquainted with a young gentleman, who has paffed a great part of his life in the nursery, and, upon occafion, can make a Caudle or a fack-poffet better than any man in England. He is likewife a wonderful critic in cambric and mufling, and will talk an hour to gether upon a fweet-meat. He entertains his mother every night with obfervations that he imakes both in town and court; as what lady fhows the niceft fancy in her drefs; what man of quality wears the faireft wig; who has the fineft linen, who the pretttieft fnuff-box, with many other the like curious remarks, that may be made in good company. On the other hand I have very frequently the opportunity of feeing a rural Andromache, who came up to town laft winter, and is one of the greateft fox-hunters in the country. She talks of hands and horfes, and makes nothing of Jouping over a fix-bar gate. If a man tells her a waggish ftory, the gives him a puth with her hand in jeft, and calls him an impudent dog; if her fervant neglect his business, threat of the difpute, the fealded her fingers, and fpilt a difh of tea upon her petticoat. Had not this accident broke off the debate, nobody knows where it would have ended. There is one confideration which I would earnefly recommend to all my female readers, and which, I hope, will have fome weight with them. In fhort it is this, that there is nothing fo bad for the face as party-zeal. It gives an ill-natured caft to the eye, and a difagreeable fournefs to be look; befides, that it makes the lines toe ftrong, and flushes them worse than brandy Į have feen a wornan's face break out in heats, as he has been talking against a great lord, whom the had never feen in her life; and indeed never knew a party woman that kept her beauty for a twelvemonth. I would therefore advife all my female readers, as they value their complexions, to let alone all difputes of this nature; though, atthe fame time, I would give free liberty to all fuperanuated motherly partizans to be as vic ent as they pleafe, fince there will be no danger either of their spoiling their faces, or of their gaining converts, For my own part, I think a man makes an odious and defpicable figure, that is violent in a party; but a woman teo fincere to mitigate the fury of her principles with temper and dif cretion, and to act with that caution and refervednefs which are requifite in our fex. When this unnatural zeal gets into them, it throws them into ten thousand heats and extravagancies; their generous fouls fet no bounds to their love, or to their hatred; and whether a whig or a tory, a jap-dog or a gallant, an opera or puppet-how, be the object of it, the paffion, while it reigns, engroffes the whole woman.. I remember when Dr. Titus Oates was in all his glory, I accompanied my friend Will Honeycomb in a vifit to a lady of his acquaintance. We were no fooner fat down, but upon cafting my eyes about the room, I found in almoft every corner of it a print that represented the doctor in all magnitudes and dimenfions. A little after, as the lady was difcourfing my friend, and held her fnuff-box in her hand, who should I see in the lid of it but the doctor? It was not long after this when he had occafion for her handkerchief, which upon the first opening difcovered among the plaits of it the figure of the doctor. Upon this my friend Will, who loves raillery, told her, That if he was in Mr. Truelove's place, for that was the name of her husband, he should be made as uneafy by a handkerchief as ever Othello was. "I am ❝ afraid," said he, "Mr. Honeycomb, you are a No 8. MONDAY, MAY 7. ders meet with any paper that in some parts of it may be a little out of their reach, I would not have them difcouraged, for they may affure them felves the next fhall be much clearer. As the great and only end of these my fpeculations is to banish vice and ignorance out of the territories of Great-Britain, I fhall endeavour as much as poffible to establish among us a taste of polite writing. It is with this view that I have endeavoured to fet my readers right in several points relating to Operas and Tragedies; and fhall from time to time impart my notions of Comedy, as I think they may tend to its refinement and perfection. I find by my bookseller that thefe papers of criticism, with that upon humour have met with a more kind reception than indeed I could have hoped for from fuch fubjects; for which reafon I fhall enter upon my present under taking with greater chearfulness. In this, and one or two following papers, I fhall trace out the hiftory of falfe wit, and diftin guifh the feveral kinds of it as they have prevailed in different ages of the world. This I think the more neceffary at present, because I obferved there were attempts on foot laft winter to revive fome of thofe antiquated modes of wit that have been long exploded out of the common-wealth of letters. There were feveral fatires and panegyrics handed about in acroftic, by which means fome of the most arrant undifputed blockheads about the town began to entertain ambitious thoughts, and to fet up for polite authors. I fhall therefore defcribe at length thofe many arts of false wit, in which a writer does not fhew himself a man of a beautiful genius, but of great industry. The firft fpecies of falfe wit which I have met with is very venerable for its antiquity, and has produced feveral pieces which have lived very near as long as the Iliad itfelf: I mean those short poems printed among the minor Greek poets, which refemble the figure of an egg, a pair of wings, an ax, a fhepherd's pipe, and an altar. As for the firft, it is a little oval poem, and may not improperly be called a scholar's egg. would endeavour to hatch it, or, in more intelligible language, to tranflate it into English, did not I find the interpretation of it very difficult; for the author feems to have been more intent HOR. Ars Poet. ver. 361. upon the figure of his poem, than upon the fenfe of it. Poems like pictures are. Ut picture poefis erit ---- OTHING is fo much admired, and fo little understood as wit. No author that I know of has written profeffedly upon it; and as for those who make any mention of it, they only treat on the fubject as it has accidentally fallen in their way, and that too in little fhort reflections, or in general declamatory flourishes, without entering into the bottom of the matter. I hope therefore I shall perform an acceptable work to my countrymen, if I treat at large upon this fubject; which I fhall endeavour to do in a manner fuitable to it, that I may not incur the cenfure which a famous critic beftows upon one who had written a treatife upon the Sublime in a low groveling file. I intend to lay afde a whole week for this undertaking, that the fcheme of my thoughts may not be broken and interrupted; and I dare promife myfelf, if my readers will give me a week's attention, that this great city will be very much changed for the better by next Saturday pight. I fhall endeavour to make what I fay inelligible to ordinary capacities, but, if my rea The pair of wings confift of twelve verfes, or rather feathers, every verfe decreafing gradually in its measure according to its fituation in the wing. The fubject of it, as in the reft of the poems which follow, bears fome remote affinity with the figure, for it defcribes a god of love, who is always painted with wings. The ax methinks would have been a good figure for a lampoon, had the edge of it confifted of the moit fatirical parts of the work; but as it is in the original, I take it to have been nothing elfe but the pofy of an ax which was confecrated to Minerva, and was thought to have been the fame that Epeus made use of in the building of the Trojan horfe; which is a hint I shall leave to the confideration of the critics. I am apt to think that the pofy was written originally upon the ax, like thofe which our modern cutlers ininfcribe upon their knives; and that therefore the pofy still remains in its ancient (hape, though the ax itfelf is loft. The fhepherd's pipe may be faid to be full of mufic, for it is compofed in nine different |