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I know there are figures for this kind of as' Mr. Courtly, will, by 'moothing over ima speech, that some of the greatest ancients have ' modeft practices with the glors of cost and been guilty of it, and that Ariftotle himself has harmless names, for ever forfeit our esteem. given it a place in his rhetoric among the beau • Nor think that I am herein more severe than ties of that art. But as it is in itself poor and need be: if I have not reason more than enough trifiing, it is I think at present univeríally • db you and the world judge from this ensuing exploded hy all the masters of polite writing. ' account, which, I think, will prove the evil
The last fault which I shall take notice of in • to be universal. Milton's itile, is the frequent use of what the ( You must know then, that since your relearned call Technical Words, or terms of prehension of this female degeneracy came
It is one of the greatest beauties of poetry, rout, I have had a tender of respects from no to make hard things intelligible, and to deliver less than five persons, of tolerable figure too as what is abstruse of itself in such easy language as' • tintes go: but the misfortune is, that four of may be understood by ordinary readers : besides, the five are professed followers of the mode.. that the knowledge of a poet should rather feem They would face me down, that all women of born with him, or inspired, than drawn from 'good sense.ever were, and ever will be, latitubooks and systems. I have often wondered how dinarians in wedlock; and always did, and Mr. Dryden could translate a paffage out of Vir ( will give and take what they profanely termi gil after the following manner.
conjugal liberty of conscience. « Tack to the larboard and fand off to lea,
The two firit of them, à captain and a
merchant, to strengthen their argument, pre“ Veer starboard fea and land."
• tend to repeat after a couple of ladies of quaMilton makes use of larboard in the same man. ' lity and wit, that Venus was always kind to
When he is upon building he mentions • Mars; and what soul, that has the least (psik " Doric pillars, pilasters, cornice; freeze, archi • of generosity, can deny a man of bravery any
When he talks of heavenly-Bodies, thing ? and how pitiful a trader that, whom you meet with “ ecliptic, and eccentric, the no woman but his own wife will have cor« trepidation, stars dropping from the zenith, • retpondence or dealings with? Thus thefe ; <s rays culininating from the equator :' to " whilst the third, the country 'squire, conwhich might be added many instances of the like "feffed, that indeed he was surprised into good kind in several other arts and sciences.
breeding, and entered into the knowledge of I thall in my next papers give an account of ' the worid unawares ; that dining the other day the many particular beauties in Milton, which ' at a gentleman's house, the person who enterwould have been too long to insert' under those • tained was obliged to leave him with his wife general heads I have already treated of, and • and nieces; where they spoke with so much with which I intend to conclude this piece of contempt of an absent gentleman for being so criticism.
hint, that he resolved never to be drowsy, unmannerly, or stupid for the future ( at a friend's house; and on a hunting morna
• ing, not to pursue the game either with the No. 298. MONDAY, FEBRUARY 11,
• husband abroad, or with the wife at home.
• The next that came was a tradesman, no Nufquam tuta fides. Virg. Æn. 4. v. 373.
' less full of the age than the former; for he had Honour is no where safe.
" the gallantry to tell me, that at a late junket
( which he was invited to, the motion being • Mr. Spectator, London, Feb. 9, 1711-12, (made, and tho quítion being put, it was by
Am a virgin, and in no case despicable ; maid, wife and widow resolved, nemine contraI but yet such as I am I must remain, or dicente, that a young sprightly journeyman is • elfe become, it is to be feared, less happy; absolutely necessary in their way of business ;
for I find not the least good effect from the ' to which they had the asient and concurrence • just correction you some time since gave that of their husbands present. I dropped him • too free, that looser part of our sex which a courtesy, and gave him to underttand that • spoils the men; the same connivance at the was his audience of leave. • vices, the same casy admittance of addresses, "I am reckoned pretty, and have had very • the same vitiated relih of the conversation of many advances besides these; but have been • the greatest rakes, or, in a more fashionable very averse to hear any of them, from my ob
way of expressing one's self, of such as have « fervation on these above-mentioned, until I • seen the world most, still abounds, increases, I hopid fome good from the character of my " and multiplies.
present admirer, a clergyman. But I find even The huinble petition therefore of many of amongst them there are indireét practices in re• the most strictly virtuous, and of myself, is, "lation to love, and our treaty is at prosent a • that you will once more exert your authority, • little in suspense, until some circumstances are
and that according to your late promise, your "cleared. There is a charge against him « full, your impartial authority, on this fillier among the women, and the case is this : it is • branch of our kind : for why should they be alledged, that a certain endowed female would (the uncontroulable mifireffes of our fare? liave appropriated lierself to, and consolidated " Why should they with impunity indulge the • herself with a church, which my divine 110w s males in licentiousness whilst fingle, and we (enjoys; (or, which is the same thing, did pro
liave the dismal hazard and plague of reform. • ftitute herself in her friend's doing this for her :)
ing them when married ? Strike home, Sir, " that my ecclefiaftic, to obtain the one, did en• then, and spare not, or all our maiden hopes, gage himself to take off the other that lay on vur gilded hopes of nuptial felicity are fruf- hand; but that on his success in the fpiritual, trated, are vanithed, and you yourself, as well " he again renounced the carnal.
• I put
« flow at
"Mr. Spectator 2
I put this closely to him, and taxed him with a representation of those calamities and misfor• difingenuity. He to clear himself made the fub- tunes which a weak man suffers from wrong • fcquent defence, and that in the most solemn measures, and ill.concerted schemes of life, is
manner possible. That he was applied to, apt to make a deeper impression upon our 6 and inftigated to accept of a benefice: that a minds, than the wiselt maxims and instructions
conditional offer thereof was indeed made that can be given us, for avoiding the like fol. ' him at first, but with disdain by him rejected : lies and indifcretions in our own private con• that when nothing, as they easily perceived, duct. It is for this reason that I lay before my
of this nature could bring him to their pur- reader the following letter, and leave it with • pose, assurance of his being entirely unengaged him to make his own use of it, without adding • beforehand, and safe from all their after ex- any reflexions of my own upon the subject mat.
pectations (the only stratagem left to draw ter. • him in) was given him : that purfuant to this e the donation itself was without delay, before ! several reputable witnesses, tendered to him AVING carefully perused a letter fent
gratis, with the open profesfion of not the • least reserve, or most minute condition; but fubfequent discourse upon pin-money, I do " that yet immediately after induction, his infi.. presume to trouble you with an account of dious introducer, (or her crafty procurer,
my own cale, which I look upon to be no less ' which you will) industriously spread the re deplorable than that of 'squire Fribble. Tam
port which had reached my ears, not only in a person of no extraction, having begun tie • the neighbourhood of that said church, but in world with a small parcel of rusty iron, and " London, in the university, in mine, and his was for soine years commonly known by the own country, and wherever else it might name of Jack Anvil.
I have naturally a very probably obviate his application to any other happy genius for getting money, insomuch woman, and so confine him to this alone: " that by the age of five and twenty I had " and in a word, that as lie never did make any
scraped together four thousand two hundred • previous offer of his service, or the least step pounds, five hillings and a few odd pence. ' to her affe&tion ; so on his discovery of these
I then launched out into considerable business, deligns thus laid to trick him, he could not but and became a bold trader both by sea and " afterwards, in justice to himself, vindicate land, which in a few years raised me a very " both his innocence and freedom by keeping
considerable fortune. For these my good serThis proper distance.
vices I was kpighted in the thirty-fifth ycar · This is his apology, and I think I Mall be
of my age, and lived with great dignity among 5 satisfied with it. .But I cannot conclude my
my city neighbours by the name of Sir Jolin tedious epistle without recommending to you
Anvil. Being in my temper very ambitious, I not only to resume your former chastisement, • I was now bent upon making a family, and . but to add to your criminals 'the finoniacal accordingly resolved that my descendents « ladies, who seduce the facred order into the " should have a dash of good blood in their veins. • difficulty of either breaking a mercenary troth
( In order to this I made love to the lady Mary I made to them whom they ought not to de. • Oddly, an indigent young woman of quality,
ceive, or by breaking or keeping it, offending " To cut short the marriage-treaty, I threw her against him whom they cannot deceive. Your ''a carte blanche, as our news papers call it, de. allistance and labours of this sort would be ' firing her to write upon it her owil terms.
of great benefit, and your speedy thoughts on <She was very concise in her demands, infifting ( this subject would be very seasonable to, only that the disposal of my fortune and the Sir,
regulation of my family should be intirely in Your most obedient humble servant,
• her hands. Her father and brothers appeared T • Chastity Loveworth,' i exceedingly averse to this match, and would
not see me for some time; but at present are
so well reconciled, that they dine with me ala
(most every day, and have confiderable sums of N° 299. TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 12,
me; which my lady Mary very often twits Malo Venufinam, quàm te, Cornelia, mater.
me with, when she would shew me how kind
her relations are to me. She had no portion, Graccborum, fi cum magnis virtutibus affers
as I told you before; but what she wanted in Grande supercilium, & numeras in dote triumpbos.
« fortune, ne makes up in spirit. She at first Tollé ruum, precor, Annibalem, victumque Syphacem In caftris; & cum totâ Carthagine migra.
changed my name to Sir John Envil, and at Juv. Sat. 6. ver. 166.
present writes herself Mary Enville, I have
" had some children by her, whom he has Some country-girl, scarce to a curtsey bred, ( christened with the firnames of her family, in Wou'd I much rather than Cornelia wed, I order, as she tells me, to wear out the home. If supercilious, haughty, proud, and vain,
liness of their parentage by the father's side. She brought her father's triumphs in her train.
Our eldest son is the honourable Oddly Enville, Away with all your Carthaginian state;
Efq; and our eldest daughter Harriot Enville, Let vanquish'd Hannibal without doors wait, • Upon her first coming into my family, Me Too burly and too big to pass my narrow gate.
( turned off a parcel of very careful servants, DRYDEN. ( who had been long with me, and introduced in
their stead a couple of black-a-moors, and T'is observed, that a man improves more by " three or four very genteel fellows in laced li
(veries, besides her French-woman, who is prudence and virtue, than by the finest rules « perpetually making a noise in the house in a and preçepts of morality. In the fame manner language which no body understands, except
my lady Mary. She next set herself to reform superior in sense, as much as she is in quality, and every room of my house, having glazed all my therefore treats me like a plain well-meaning, chimney-pieces with looking glasses, and man who does not know the world. She dicplanted every corner with such heaps of china, tates to me in my own business, sets me right that I am obliged to move about my own (in point of trade, and if I disagree with her house with the greatest caution and circum about any of my ships at sea, wonders that I spection, for fear of hurting some of our brit., ' will dispute with her, when I know very well tle furniture, She makes an illumination that her great grandfather was a flag-officer. once a neek with wax-candles in one of the • To compleat my suffering, me has teased largest rooms, in order, as she phrases it, to me for this quarter of a year laît past, to resee company:
At which time she always de move into one of the squares at the other end fires me to be abroad, or to confine myself to of the town, promising for my encouragethecock-loft, that I may not diigrace her among ment, that I shall have as good a cock-loft as her visitants of quality. Her footmen, as I told any gentleman in the square; to which the you before, are such beaus that I do not much honourable Oddly Enville, Esq; always adds, care for asking them questions; when I do, like a jack-a-napes as he is, that he hopes it they answer me with a faucy frown, and say
will be as near the court as posible. that every thing which I find fault with, was • In short, Mr. Spectator, I am so much qut done by iny lady Mary's order. She tells me of my natural element, that to recover my that she intends they mall wear swords with old way of life I would be content to begin their next liveries, having lately observed the • the world again, and be plain Jack Anvil ; footmen of two or three persons of quality, 6 but alas ! I am in for life, and am bound hanging behind the coach with fwords by their to subscribe myself, with great sorrow of sides. As soon as the first honey-moon was
• heart, over, I represented to her the unriasonable.
Your humble servant, ness of those daily innovations which she made L
John Enville, Knt, in my family; but she told me I was no longer to consider myself as Sir John Anvil, but as her husband; and added with a frown, that, I did not seem to know who she was.
No 300. WEDNESDAY, FEB. 13.
I was surprised to be treated thus, after such familiarities as had passed between us. But the has
-Diversum vitio vitium propè majus. since given me to know, that whatever free
Hor. Ep. 18. lib. 1. ver. 5. doms ne may sometimes indulge me in, the -Another failing of the mind, expects in general to be treated with the re
Greater than this, of a quite different kind. fpect that is due to her birih and quality. Our
POOLY children have been trained up from their infancy with so many accounts of their mother's
« Mr. Spektator, family, that they know the stories of all the
HEN you talk of the subject of love, grea: men and women it has produced. Their
and the relations arising from it, neinoiher tells them, that such a one commanded " thinks you should take care to leaye no fault in such a sea-engagement, that their great ' unobserved which concerns the state of margrandfather had a horse shot under him at " riage. The great vexation that I have ob. Edge-hill, that their uncle was at the siege of <served in it, is that the wedded couple seem to Buda, and that her mother danced in a ball want opportunities of being often enough alono at court with the Duke of Monmouth; with together, and are forced to quarrel and be fond abundance of fiddle-faddle of the same nature. • before company. Mr. Hotspur and his lady, I was the other day a little out of countenance o in a room full of their friends, are ever saying at a question of my little daughter Harriot, something to smärt to each other, and that wlio asked me with a great deal of innocence, but just within rules, that the whole company why I never told them of the generals and stand in the utmost anxiety and suspence for admirals that had been in my family. As for (fear of their falling into extremities which my eldest son Oddly, he has been so spirited up " they could not be present at, On the other by his mother, that if he does not mend his fide, Tom Paddle and his pretty spouse manners I shall go near to disinherit him. He o wherever they come are billing at such a rate, drew his sword upon me before he was nine as they think must do our hearts good to beyears old, and told me that he expected to be « hold them. Cannot you possibly propose a used like a gentleman; upon my offering to mean between being wasps and doves in pub, correct him for his infolence, my lady Mary lic! I hould think if you advised to hate or stept in between us, and told me, that I ought love sincerely it would be better : for if they to consider there was some difference between wculd be so difcrcet as to hate from the very his mother and mine. She is perpetually find (bottoms of their hearts, their aversion would ing out the features of her own relations in be too strong for little gibes every moment; every one of my children, though by the way, and if they loved with that calm and noble I have a little chub-faced boy as like me as he value wliich dwells in the heart, with a warmth can stare, if I durít fay so ; but what most an I like that of life-blood, they would not be fo gers me, when she sees me playing with any ' impatient of their paffion as to fall into ob. of them upon my knee, me has begged me • fervable fondness. This method, in each 11.ore than once to converse with the children cafe, would save appearances; but as those as little as polfible, that they may not learn 6 who offend on the fond fide are by much the any of my awkward tricks.
'fewer, I would have you begin with them, • You muit farther know, fince I am opening 6 and go on to take notice of a most impertinent my heart to you, that the thinks herselt my
licence married women take not only to be
very loving to their spouses in public, but also with their years. My client, Mr. Strephor,' make nauseous allusions to private familiari (whom you summoned to declare himself, gives ties, and the like. Lucina is a lady of the you thanks however for your warning, and greatest discretion, you must know, in the begs the favour only to enlarge his time for a world; and withal very much a physician : week, or to the last day of the term, and then upon the strength of these two qualities there he will appear gratis, and pray no day over. is nothing she will not speak of before us vir
"Your's, gins; and she every day talks with a very
· Philanthropos.' grave air in such a manner, as is very improper so much as to be hinted at, but to obviate the
Mr. Spectator, • greatest extremity. Those whom they call Was last night to visit a lady whom I mucli
good bodies, notable people, hearty neighbours, esteem, and always took for my friend; • and the purest goodest company in the world,
'but met with so very different a reception • are the great offenders in this kind. Here I from what I expected, that I cannot help ap• think I have laid before you an open field for plying myself to you on this occasion. . In the • pleasantry; and hope you will new these room of that civility and familiarity I used to people that at least they are not witty: in which
be treated with by her, an affected strangeness you will save from many a blush a daily sufa
' in her looks, and coldness in her behaviour, « ferer, who is very much
plainly told me I was not the welcome guest • Your most humble servant, , ' which the regard and tenderness The lias often « Susanna Loveworth, expressed for me gave me reason to Aatter my
'self to think I was. Sir, this is certainly a Mr. Spe7ator,
great fault, and I assure you a very common
one; therefore I hope you will think it a fic N
subject for some part of a Steilator. Be pleased and your correspondents are very severe on
to acquaint us how we must behave ourselves a sort of men, whom you call male coquets; towards this valetudinary friendship, subject ' but without any other reason, in my appre to so many heats and colds, and you will
hension, than that of paying a shallow com. oblige,
"Sir, your humble servant,
• Miranda,' seem to be the more faulty sex ; though at the same time you suppose there are some so SIR, weak as to be imposed upon by fine things Cannot forbear acknowledging the delight and false addresses. I cannot persuade myself o
your late Spectators on Saturdays have " that your design is to debar the sexes the be
given me ; for they are writ in the honeft fpinefit of each other's conversation, within the • rit of criticism, and called to my mind the rules of honour; nor will you, I dare say,
' following four lines 1 had read long since in a recommend to them, or encourage the common tea-table talk, much less that of politics has deserved a better fate. The verses are ad
prologue to a play called Julius Cæfar, which and matters of state : and if there are forbid.
(drelled to the little critics.
« Shew your small talent, and let that fuffice ye; ' sure in hearing themselves praised, and can
“ But grow not vain upon it, I advise ye. bear the fight of a man prostrate at their feet,
« For every fop can find out faults in plays : « so long I shall make no wonder that there are “ You'll ne'er arrive at knowing when to praise.” " those of the other sex who will pay them moft T
all where so wise as to despise it. I do not
Pofsint ut juvenes visere fervidi
Dilapfam in cineres facem.
· Hor. Od. 13.1. 4. ver. 26, pardon. Such of the sex as are raw and innocent, and most exposed to these attacks, That all may laugh to see that glaring light, have, or their parents are much to blame if Which lately shone so fierce and bright, . they have not, one to advise and guard them, End in a stink at last, and vanish into night. and are obliged themselves to take care of
ANON. them; but if there, who ought to hinder men from all opportunities of this fort of conversa E are generally so much pleased with tion, instead of that encourage and promote
any little accomplishments, either of it, the suspicion is very just that there are some body or mind, which have once made us remarkŠ
private reasons for it; and I will leave it to able in the world, that we endeavour to perfuade
fired his imagination. The same folly hinders seeing them, it left me at leisure to contem. a man from submitting his behaviour to his age, plate several other charms, which difappear ånd makes Clodius, who was a celebrated ( when your eyes are open. I could not but dancer at five and twenty, still love to hobble in admire the tranquillity you slept in, especially à minuet, though he is past threescore. It is when I considered the uneasiness you produce shis, in a word, which fills the town with el in so many others. derly fops, and superannuated coquettes.
" While I was wholly taken up in these re. Canidia, a lady of this latter species, passed flexions, the doors of the temple few open, by me yesterday in her coach. Canidia was an " with a very great noise; and lifting up my haughty beauty of tlic last age, and was follow eyes, I saw two figures, in human shape, ed by crowds of adorers, whose passions only I coming into the valley. Upon a nearer surpleased her, as they gave her opportunities of vey, I found them to be Yourb and Love. The playing the tyrant. She then contracted that • first was incircled with a kind of purple light, awful cast of the eye and forbidding frown, • that spread a glory over all the place; the which he has not yet laid aside, and has still all other held a faming torch in his hand. I the insolence of beauty without its charms. If could obferve, that all the way as they came the now attract; the eyes of any beholders, it is towards is, the colours of the flowers ap. only by being remarkably ridiculous ; even her peared more lively, the trees sot out in blor. own sex laugh at her affectation; and thc men, soms, the birds threw themselves into pairs, who always enjoy an ill. natured pleasure in see " and serenaded them as they passed : the whole ing an imperious beauty humbled and neglected, face of nature glowed with new beauties. regard her with the same satisfaction that a free, · They were no sooner arrived at the place nation fees a tyrant in disgrace
( where you lay, when they seated themselves on Will Honeycimb, who is a great admirer of the ( each side of you. On their approach, megaltantries in king Charles the second's reign, thought I saw a new bloom arise in your face, lately communicated to me a letter written by a and new charms diffuse themselves over your wit of that age to his mistress, who it feerns was whole person. You appeared more than mora lady of Canidia's humour; and though I do tal; but, to my great surprise, continued faft not always approve of my friend Will's taste, I anleep, though the two deities made several Liked this letter so well, that I took a copy of it, « gentle efforts to awaken you. with which I Thall here present my reader.
After a short time, Youth displaying a pair of wings, which I had not before taken notice
of, few off. Love still remained, and liolding * To CALOR.
(the torch which he had in his hand before your Madam,
face, you still appeared as beautiful as ever.
· The glaring of the light in your eyes at length INCE my waking thoughts have never been able to influence you in my favour, instead of acknowledging the favour of the
• awakened you ; when, to my great surprife, I am resolved to try whether my dreams can Ć make any impression on you. To this end I
deity, you frowned upon him, and struck the
torch out of his hand into the river. The god, • shail give you an account of a very odd one
after having regarded you with a look thac • which my fancy presented to me last night, • within a few hours after I left you
• spoke at once his pity and displcasure, flew • Methought I was unaccountably conveyed
away. Immediately a kind of gloom over• into the most delicious place mine eyes ever
Ipread the whole place. At the same time I
'faw an hideous spectre enter at one end of the « beheld: it was a large valley divided by a river
valley. His eyes were sunk into his head, his • of the purest water I had ever seen. The
' face was pale and withered, and his skin • ground on each side of it rose by an easy af
• puckered up in wrinkles. As he walked on . cent, and was covered with flowers of an
o the sides of the bank the river froze, the flow"infinite variety, which as they were reflected
ers faded, the trees shed their blossoms, the " in the water doubled the beauties of the • place, or rather form.ed an imaginary scene
birds dropped from off the boughs, and fell
(dead at his feet. By these marks I knew him more beautiful than the real. On each side of • the river was a range of lofty trees, whose
to be Old-Age, You were seized with the ut
6 most horror and amazement at his approach, • boughs were loaded with almost as many birds A3 leaves. Every tree was full of harmony.
6 You endeavoured to have fled, but the phan« I had not gone far in this pleatant valley,
tom caught you in his arms. You may easily when I perceived that it was terminated luy a
guess at the change you suffered in this em
(brace. For my own part, though I am still most magnificent temple. The structure was
too full of the dreadful idea, I will not shock ancient, and regular. On the top of it was
you with a description of it. I was fo startled ' figured the god Saturn, in the same shape and
at the sight that my neep immediately left me, 6 dress that the poets usually represent Time. * As I was advancing to satisfy my curiosity fider of a dream which seems too extraordi
and I found myself awake, at 'leisure to conby a nearer view, I was stopped by an object nary to be without a meaning. I am, madam, « far more beautiful than any had before dir6 covered in the whole place. I fancy, madam,
with the greatest passion, you will easily guess that this could hardly be
Your most obedicnt, any thing but yourself; in reality it was fo; you lay extended on the flowers by the side of
X o the river, so that your hands, which were
most humble servant, &c « thrown in a negligent pofture, almost touched • the water. Your eyes were closed; but if
your feep deprived me of the satisfaction of