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late, when, perhaps, as she could not but observe
that the repairs of the toilet became more necessary, TABLE-TALK.
she might suppose that new lights, according to the And, sir, if these accounts be true, The Dutch have mighty things in viow;
poet, were streaming on her mind through the chinks The Austrians--I admire French beans,
ihat Time was making. Many of her friends, how. Dear ma'am, above all other greens.
ever, thought that Lady Penelope would have better
consulted her genius by remaining in mediocrity, as mo? And all as lively and as brisk **As-Ma'am, d'ye choose a game at whisk)
a fashionable and well-bred woman, than by parading
her new-founded pretensions to taste and pal
ronage; but such was not her own opinion, and WHEN they were about to leave the room, Lady doubtless, her ladyship was the best judge. Penelope assumed Tyrrel's arm with a sweet smile On the other side of Tyrrel sat Lady Binks, lately of condescension, meant to make the honoured party the beautiful Miss Bonnyrigg, who, during the last understand in its full extent the favour conferred. season, had made the company at the Well alternately But the unreasonable
Highleast confusion at an attention so little to be expected, land Aling, riding the wildest pony, laughing the loud seemed to consider the distinction as one which was est laugh at the broadest joke and wearing the briefest naturally paid to the greatest stranger present; and petticoat of any nymph of St. Ronan's. Few knew when he placed Lady Penelope at the head of the that this wild, hoydenish, half-mad humour, was only table, by Mr. Winterblossom the president, and took superinduced over her real character, for the purpose a chair for himself betwixt her ladyship, and Lady of getting well married. She had fixed her eyes on Blinks, the provoking wretch appeared no more Sir Bingo, and was aware of his maxim, that to catch sensible of being exalted above his proper rank in him, a girl must be in his own phrase, “bang up society, than if he had been sitting at the bottom of to every thing;" and that he would choose a wife for the table by honest Mrs. Blower from the Bow-head, the neck-or-nothing qualities which recommend a good who had come to the Well to carry of the dregs of hunter. She made out her catch-match, and she was the Infienzie, which she scorned to term a surfeit. miserable. Her wild good-humour was entirely an
Now this indifference puzzled Lady Penelope's assumed part of her character, which was passionate, game extremely, and irritated her desire to get at the ambitious, and thoughtful. Delicacy she had none bottom of Tyrrel's mystery, if there was one, and she knew Sir Bingo was a brute and a fool, even while secure him to her own party: If you were ever at a she was hunting him down ; but she had so far miswatering-place, reader, you know that while the taken her own feelings, as not to have expected that guests do not always pay the most polite attention to when she became bone of his bone, she should feel so unmarked individuals, the appearance of a stray lion much shame and anger when she saw his folly expose makes an interest as strong as it is reasonable, and him to be laughed at and plundered, or so disgusted the Amazonian chiefs of each coterie, like the hunters when his brutality became intimately connected with of Buenos-Ayres, prepare their lasso, and maneuvre herself. It is true, he was on the whole rather an to the best advantage
they can, each hoping to ņoose innocent monster; and between bitting and bridling, the unsuspicious monster, and lead him captive to coaxing and humouring, might have been made to her own menagerie. A few words concerning Lady pad on well enough. But an unhappy boggling which Penelope Penfeather will explain why she practised had taken place previous to the declaration of their this sport with even more than common zeal. private marriage, had so exasperated her spirits
She was the daughter of an earl, possessed a against her helpmate, that modes of conciliation were showy person, and features which might be called the last she was likely to adopt. Not only had the handsome in youth, though now rather too much assistance of the Scottish Themis, so propitiously inprononcés to render the term proper. The nose was dulgent to the foibles of the fair, been resorted to on become sharper; the cheeks had lost the roundness the oceasion, but even Mars seemed ready to enter of youth; and as, during fifteen years that she had upon the tapis, if Hymen had not intervened. There reigned a beauty and a ruling, toast
, the right man was, de par le monde, a certain brother of the ladyhad not spoken, or, at least, had not spoken at the an officer-and, as it happened, on leave of absence, right time, her ladyship now rendered sufficiently who alighted from a hack-chaise at the Fox Hotel, at independent by the inheritance of an old relation, eleven o'clock at night, holding in his hand a slip of spoke in praise of friendship, , began to dislike the well-dried oak, accompanied by another gentleman, Lown in summer, and to "babble of green fields." who, like himself, wore a military travelling-cap and
About the time Lady Penelope thus changed the a black stock; out of the said chaise, as was reported tenor of her life, she was fortunate enough, with Dr. by the trusty
Toby, was handed a small reise-sac, an Quackleben's assistance, to find ont the virtues of Andrew Ferrara, and a neat mahogany box, eighteen St. Ronan's spring; and having contributed her inches long, three deep, and some six broad. Next share to establish the urbs in rure, which had risen morning a solemn palaver (as the natives of Madaaround it, she sat herself down 'as leader of the gascar call their national convention) was held at an fashions in the little province which she had in a unusual hour, at which Captain MacTurk and Mr. great measure both discovered and colonized. She Mowbray assisted, and the upshot was that at was therefore, justly desirous to compel homage and breakfast the company were made happy by the intribute from all who should approach the territory. formation, that Sir Bingo liad been for some weeks the In other respects, Lady Penelope pretty much re- happy bridegroom of their general favourite;
which sembled the numerous class she belonged to. She union, concealed for family reasons, he was now at was at bottom a well-principled woman, but too liberty to acknowledge, and to fly with the wings of thoughtless to let her principles control her humour, love to bring his sorrowing turtle from the shades to therefore not scrupulously nice in her society. She which she had retired, till the obstacles to their mu: was good-natured, but capricious and whimsical, and tual happiness could be removed. Now, though all willing enough to be kind or generous, if it neither this sounded very smoothly, that gall-less turtle, Lady thwarted her humour, nor cost her much trouble ; Binks, could never think of the tenor of the proceedwould have chaperoned a young friend any where, ings without the deepest feelings of resentment and and moved the world for subscription tickets; but contempt for the principal actor, Sir Bingo. never troubled herself how much her giddy charge Besides all these unpleasant circumstances, Sir flirted, or with whom; so that, with a numerous Bingo's family had refused to countenance her wish class of Misses, her ladyship was the most delightful that he should bring her to his own seat; and hence creature in the world. Then Lady Penelope had a new shock to her pride, and new matter of conlived so much in society, knew so exactly when to tempt against poor Sir Bingo, for being ashamed speak, and how to escape from an embarrassing dis- and afraid to face down the opposition of his kinscussion by professing ignorance, while she looked folk, for whose displeasure, though never attending intelligence, that she was not generally discovered to any good advice from them, he retained a childish to be a fool, unless when she set up for being reo awe. markably clever. This happened more frequently of The manners of the young lady were no lces
changed than was her temper; and, from being much might derive either profit or amusement. In the too careless and free, were become reserved, sullen, and midst of this sort of conversation, however, she sudhaughty. A consciousness that many scrupled to denly stopped short. hold intercourse with her in society, rendered
her dis- "Will you forgive me, Mr. Tyrrel," she said, "if I agreeably tenacious of her rank, and jealous of every say I have been watching your thoughts for some thing that appeared like neglect. She had constí- moments, and that I have detected you? All the tuted herself mistress of Sir Bingo's
purse ; and, un- while that I have been talking of these good folks, restrained in the expenses of dress and equipage, chose, and that you have been making such civil replies, contrary to her maiden practice, to be rather rich and that they might be with great propriety and utility splendid than gay, and to command that attention by inserted in the 'Familiar Dialogues, teaching foreignmagnificence, which she no longer deigned to solicit ers how to express themselves in English upon ordiby rendering herself either agreeable or entertaining. nary occasions'-your mind has been entirely fixed One secret source of her misery was the necessity of upon that empty chair, which hath remained there showing deference to Lady Penelope Penfeather, opposite betwixt our worthy president and Sir Bingo whose understanding she despised, and whose pre- Binks." tensions to consequence, to patronage, and to litera- "I own, madam," he answered, "I was a little surture, she had acuteness enough to see through, and prised at seeing such a distinguished seat unoccupied, to contemn; and this dislike was the more grievous, while the table is rather crowded.” that she felt she depended a good deal on Lady "O, confess more, sir !-- Confess that to a poet a Penelope's countenance for the situation she was able seat unoccupied-the chair of Banquo-has more to maintain even among the not very select society of charms than if it were filled even as an alderman St. Ronan's Well; and that, neglected by her, she would fill it.-What if the Dark Ladye'* should must have dropped lower in the scale even there. glide in and occupy it?-Would you have courage to Neither was Lady Penelope's kindness to Lady Binks stand the vision, Mr. Tyrrel ?-1 assure you the thing extremely cordial. She partook in the ancient and is not impossible." ordinary dislike of single nymphs of a certain age, to "What is not impossible, Lady Penelope ?" said those who make splendid alliances under their very Tyrrel, somewhat surprised. eye-and she more than suspected the secret
disaffec- Startled already ?-Nay, then, I despair of your tion of the lady. But the name sounded well; and enduring the awful interview." the style in which Lady Binks lived was a credit "What interview? who is expected ?" said Tyrrel, to the place. So they satisfied their mutual dislike unable with the utmost exertion to suppress some with saying a few sharp things to each other occa- signs of curiosity, though he suspected the whole to sionally, but all under the mask of civility.
be merely some mystification of her ladyship. Such was Lady Binks; and yet, being such, her "How delighted I am," she said, "that I have dress, and her equipage, and carriages, were the envy found out where you are vulnerable !- Expected-did of half the Misses at the Well, who, while she sat dis- I say expected ?-no, not expected. figuring with sullenness her very lovely face, (for it She glides, like Night, from land to land, was as beautiful as her shape was exquisite, only She hath strange power of speech.' thought she was proud of having carried her point, 1-But come, I have you at my mercy, and I will be and felt herself
, with her large fortune and diamond generous and explain.--We call-that is, among ourbandeau, no fit company for the rest of the party. selves, you understand-Miss Clara Mowbray, the They gave way, therefore, with meekness to her do- sister of that gentleman that sits next to Miss Parmineering temper, though it was not the less tyran- ker, the Dark Ladye, and that seat is left for her.nical, that in her maiden state of hoydenhood, she For she was expected-no, not expected-I forget had been to some of them an object of slight and
of again!—but it was thought possible she might honour censure: and Lady Binks had not forgotten the of- us to-day,
when our feast was so full and piquant.fences offered to Miss Bonnyrigg: But the
fair sister- Her brother is our Lord of the Manor-and so they hood submitted to her retaliations, as lieutenants pay her that sort of civility to regard her as a visiter endure the bullying of a rude and boisterous captain and neither Lady Binks nor I think of objecting of the sea, with the secret determination to pay
it She is a singular young person, Clara Mowbray-she home to their underlings, when they shall
become amuses me very much I am always rather glad to captains themselves.
In this state of importance, yet of penance, Lady "She is not to come hither to-day," said Tyrrel; Binks occupied her place at the dinner-table, alter- am 1 so to understand your ladyship?" nately disconcerted by some stupid speech of her lord "Why, it is past her time-even her time," said and master, and by some slight sarcasm from Lady Lady Penelope-"dinner was kept back half an Penelope, to which she longed to reply, but dared not. hour, and our poor invalids were famishing, as you
She looked from time to time at her neighbour may see by the deeds they have done since.-But Frank Tyrrel, but without addressing him, and ac- Clara is an odd creature, and if she took it into her cepted in silence the usual civilities which he proffered head to come hither at this moment, hither she to her. She had remarked keenly his interview with would come-she is very whimsical.-Many people Sir Bingo, and knowing by experience the manner in think her handsome-but she looks so like somewhich her honoured lord was wont to retreat from a thing from another world, that she makes me always dispute in which he was unsuccessful, as well as his think of Mat Lewis's Spectre Lady." genius for getting into such perplexities, she had little And she repeated with much cadence, doubt that he had sustained from the stranger some
"There is a thing-there is a thing, new indignity, whom, therefore, she regarded with a
I fain would have from thee; mixture of feeling, scarce knowing whether to be I fain would have that gay gold ring, pleased with him for having given pain to him whom
O warrior, give it me!" she hated, or angry with him for having affronted
one "And then you remember his answer : in whose degradation her own was necessarily in
*This ring Lord Brooke from his daughter took volved. There might be other thoughts-on the whole, she regarded him with much though with mute at
That that ladye my bride should be
When this crusade was o'er.' tention. He paid her but little in return, being almost entirely occupied in replying to the questions of the You do figures as well as landscapes, I suppose, Mr. engrossing Lady Penelope Penfeather.
Tyrrel ?--You shall make a sketch for me-a slight Receiving polite though rather evasive answers to her inquiries concerning his late avocations, her lady- which Mr. Coleridge has shown us what exquisite powers of
* The Dark Ladye is one of those tantalizing fragments, in ship
could only learn that Tyrrel had been travelling poetry he has suffered to remain uncultivated. Let us be thank in several remote parts of Europe, and even of Asia. ful for what we have received, however. The unfashioned ore. Baffled, but not repulsed, the lady continued her cour-drawn from so rich a mine, is worth all to which art can add its tesy, by pointing out to him, as a stranger, several highest decorations, when drawn from less abundant sources individuals of the company to whom she proposed are said to have soothed the last hours of Mr. Fox. They are introducing him, as persons from whose society he the stanzas entitled Love
thing-for sketches, I think, show the freedom of art | arts, the loves and the graces, immortalized by the better than finished pieces-I dote on the first corus-graver's art faithful to its charge of fame-you shall cations of genius-flashing like lightning from the labour on this task, Mr. Tyrrel; we will all assist cloud !-You shall make a sketch for my own bou- with notes and illustrations—we will all contribute doir-my dear sulky den al Air Castle, and Clara only some of us must be permitted to remain anonyMowbray shall sit for the Ghost Ladye.'
mous-Fairy favours, you know, Mr. Tyrrel, must be "That would be but a poor compliment to your kept secret-And you shall be allowed the pillage of ladyship's friend,” replied Tyrrel.
the Album-some sweet things there of Mr. Chat"Friend? We don't get quite that length, though I terly's--and Mr. Edgeil, a gentleman of your own like Clara very well. -Quite sentimental cast of face profession, I am sure will lend his aid--Dr. Quackle
I think I saw an antique in the Louvre very like her ben will contribute some scientific notices. And for -(I was there in 1800) quite an antique countenance subscription" eyes something hollowed-care has dug caves for "Financial--financial-your leddyship, I speak to them, but they are caves of the most beautiful marble, order!" said the writer, interrupting Lady Penelope arched with jet-a straight nose, and absolutely the with a tone of impudent familiarity, which was meant Grecian mouth and chin--a profusion of long straight doubtless for jocular ease. black hair, with the whitest skin you ever saw-as "How am I out of order, Mr. Meiklewham ?" said white as the whitest parchment-and not a shade of her ladyship, drawing herself up. colour in her cheek-none whatever--If she would "I speak to order!-No warrants for money can be naughty, and borrow a prudent touch of com- be extracted before intimation to the Committee of plexion, she might be called beautiful. Even as it Management.” is, many think her so, although, surely, Mr. Tyrrel, "Pray, who mentioned money, Mr. Meiklewham ?" three colours are necessary to the female face. How- said her ladyship: -- " That wretched old pettifogger," ever, we used to call her the Melpomene of the Spring she added in a whisper to Tyrrel, “thinks of nothing last season, as we called Lady Binks-who was not else but the filthy pelf.” then Lady Binks-our Euphrosyne-Did we not, my "Ye spake of subscription, my leddy, whilk is the dear?
same thing as money, differing only in respect of "Did we not what, madam ?” said Lady Binks, in time--the subscription being a contract de futuro, a lone something sharper than ought to have belonged and having a tractus temporis in gremio- And I to so beautiful a countenance.
have kend mony honest folks in the company at the "I am sorry I have started you out of your reverie, Well
, complain of the subscriptions as a great abuse, my love," answered Lady Penelope. "I was only as obliging them either to look unlike other folk, or assuring Mr. Tyrrel that you were once Euphrosyne, to gie good lawful coin for ballants and picture books, though now so much
under the banners of Il Pense- and things they caredna a pinch of snuff for." TOSO.
Several of the company, at the lower end of the "I do not know that I have been either one or the table, assented both by nods and murmurs of approother," answered Lady Binks; "one thing I certainly bation; and the orator was about to proceed, when am not-I am not capable of understanding your Tyrrel with difficulty procured a hearing before the ladyship’s wit and learning.'
debate went ner, and assured the company that "Poor soul," whispered Lady Penelope to Tyrrel; her ladyship's goodness had led her into an error ; “ we know what we are, we know not what we may that he had no work in hand worthy of their patronbe. -- And now, Mr. Tyrrel, I have been your sibyl to age, and, with the deepest gratitude for Lady Peneguide you through this Elysium of ours, I think, in lope's goodness, had it not in his power to comply reward, I deserve a little confidence in return.". with her request. There was some tittering at her
"If I had any to bestow, which could be in the ladyship's expense, who, as the writer slyly observed, slightest degree interesting to your ladyship,” an- had been something ultronious in her patronage. swered Tyrrel.
Without attempting for the moment any rally, (as "Oh! cruel man-he will not understand me!" indeed the time which had passed since the removal exclaimed the lady-"In plain words, then, a peep of the dinner scarce permitted an opportunity,) Lady in to your portfolio—just to see what objects you have Penelope gave the signal for the ladies' retreat, and rescued from natural decay, and rendered immortal left the gentlemen to the circulation of the bottle. by the pencil. You do not know-indeed, Mr. Tyrrel, you do not know how I dote upon your serenely silent art,' second to poetry alone-equal—superior
CHAPTER VII. perhaps-to music.
"I really have little that could possibly be worth the attention of such a judge as your ladyship," an
While the cups, swered Tyrrel ; "such trifles as your ladyship has
Which cheer, but not inebriate, wait on each. -COWPER seen, I sometimes leave at the foot of the tree I have It was common at the Well, for the fair guests ocbeen sketching.".
casionally to give tea to the company, ---such at least As Orlando left his verses in the Forest of Ar- as, from their rank and leading in the little society, dennes ?-Oh, the thoughtless prodigality!--Mr. Win- might be esteemed fit to constitute themselves paterblossom, do you hear this ?-We must follow Mr. tronesses of an evening; and the same lady generally Tyrrel in his walks, and glean what he leaves behind carried the authority she had acquired into the ballhim.”
room, where two fiddles and a bass, at a guinea a Her ladyship was here disconcerted by some laugh- nightwith a quantum sufficit of tallow candles, ter on Sir Bingo's side of the table, which she chas- (against the use of which Lady Penelope often mutitised by an angry glance, and then proceeded empha- nied,) enabled the company-io use the appropriate tically
phrase "to close the evening on the light fantastic 'Mr. Tyrrel-this must not be—this is not the way toe." of the world, my good sir, to which even genius must On the present occasion, the lion of the hour, Mr. stoop its fight. We must consult the engraver- Francis Tyrrel, had so little answered the highthough perhaps you etch as well as you draw?" wrought expectations of Lady Penelope, that she ra"I
should suppose so," said Mr. Winterblossom, ther regretted having ever given herself any trouble edging in a word with difficulty, "from the freedom about him, and particularly that of having manæuvred of Mr. Tyrrel's touch."
herself into the patronage of the tea-table for the “I will not deny my having spoiled a little copper evening, to the great expenditure of souchong and now and then," said Tyrrel, "since I am charged congo. Accordingly, her ladyship had no sooner with the crime by such good judges; but it has only summoned her own woman, and her fille de chambre, been by way of experiment."
to make tea, with her page, footman, and postilion, "Say no more said the lady;,"my darling wish to hand it about, (in which duty they were assisted is accomplished !-We have long desired to have the by two richly-laced and thickly-powdered footmen of remarkable and most romantic spots of our little Ar- Lady Binks's, whose liveries put to shame the more cadia here--spots consecrated to friendship, the fine modest garb of Lady Penelope's, and even dimmed
the glory of the suppressed coronel upon the buttons,) ) wretches among us. We will know what he really than she began to vilipend and depreciate what had is-he shall not wear fern-seed, and walk among us been so long the object of her curiosity.
invisible thus--what say you, Maria ?" "This Mr. Tyrrel," she said, in a tone of authorita- "Indeed, I say, dear Lady Penelope," answered tive decision, "seems after all a very ordinary sort of Miss Digges, whose ready chatter we have already person, quite a commonplace man, who, she dared introduced to the reader," he is a very handsome say, had considered his condition, in going to the old man, though his nose is too big, and his mouth too alehouse, much better than they had done for him, wide-but his teeth are like pearl--and he has such when they asked him to the Public Rooms. He had eyes !-especially when your ladyship spoke to him. known his own place better than they did--there was I don't think you looked at his eyes--they are quite nothing uncommon in his appearance or conversa- deep and dark, and full of glow, like what you read tion-- nothing at all frappant-she scarce believed he to us in the letter from that lady, about Robert could even draw that sketch. Mr. Winterblossom, Burns." indeed, made a great deal of it; but then all the world "Upon my word, miss, you come on finely!" said knew that every scrap of engraving or drawing, which Lady Penelope.—"One had need take care what they Mr. Winterblossom contrived to make his own, was, read or talk about before you, I see-Come, Jones, the instant it came into his collection, the finest thing have mercy upon us-put an end to that symphony of that ever was scen-that was the way with collec- tinkling cups and saucers, and let the first act of the tors--their goese were all swans."
tea-table begin, if you please." And your ladyship's swan has proved but a gouse, “Does her leddyship mean the grace ?" said honest my dearest Lady Pen," said Lady Binks.
Mrs. Blower, for the first time admitted into this My swan, dearest Lady Binks ! I really do not worshipful society, and busily employed in arranging know how I have deserved the appropriation.", an Indian handkerchief, that might have made a
Do not be angry, my dear Lady Penelope; I only mainsail for one of her husband's smuggling luggers, mean, that for a fortnight and more you have spoke which she spread carefully, on her knee, to preveni constantly of this Mr. Tyrrel, and all dinner-time you damage to a flowered black silk gown from the respoke to him."
past of tea and cake, to which she proposed to do due The fair company began to collect around, at hear-honour, "Does her leddyship mean the grace? I ing the word dear so often repeated in the same brief see the minister is just coming in.-Her leddyship dialogue, which induced them to expect sport, and, waits till ye say a blessing, an ye please, sir." like the vulgar on a similar occasion, to form a ring Mr. Winterblossom, who toddled after the chapfor the expected combatants.
lain, his toe having given him an alert hint to quit the He sat betwixt us, Lady Binks," answered Lady dining-table, though he saw every feature in the poor Penelope, with dignity. "You had your usual head- woman's face swoln with desire to procure informaache, you know, and, for the credit of the company, Ition concerning the ways and customs of the place, spoke for one.
passed on the other side of the way, regardless of her For two, if your ladyship pleases," replied Lady agony of curiosity. Binks.. “I mean,” she added, softening the expres- A moment after, she was relieved by the entrance of
Dr. Quackleben, whose maxim being, that one patient "I am sorry," said Lady Penelope, "I should have was as well worth attention as another, and who spoken for one who can speak so smartly for her- knew by experience, that the honoraria of a godly self, as my dear Lady Binks-I did not, by any means, wife of the Bow-head were as apt to be forthcoming, desire to engross the conversation-I repeat it, there (if not more so,) as my Lady
Penelope's he e'en sat is a mistake about this man.
himself quietly down by Mrs. Blower, and proceeded "I think there is,” said Lady Binks, in a tone with the utmost kindness to inquire after her health, which implied something more than mere assent to and 10 hope he had not forgotten taking a tableLady Penelope's proposition.
spoonful of spirits burnt to a residuum, in order 10 "I doubt if he is an artist at all,” said the Lady qualify the crudities. Penelope; "or if he is, he must be doing things for some "Indeed, Doctor," said the honest woman, “I loot Magazine, or Encyclopedia, or some such matter." the brandy burn as lang as I dought look at the gude
"I doubt, too, if he be a professional artist,” said creature wasting itself that gate and then, when I Lady Binks. "If so, he is of the very highest class, was fain to put it out for very thrift, I did take a thimfor I have seldom seen a better-bred man.
bleful of it, (although it is not the thing I am used to, "There are very well-bred artists," said Lady Pe- Dr. Quackleben,) and I winna say but that it did me nelope. "It is the profession of a gentleman.” good.
Certainly,”' answered Lady Binks; “but the “Unquestionably, madam," said the Doctor, “I am poorer class have often to struggle with poverty and no friend to the use of alcohol in general, but there dependance. In general society, they are like com- are particular cases--there are particular cases, Mrs. mercial people in presence of their customers; and Blower-My venerated instructer, one of the greatest that is a difficult part to sustain. And so you see them men in our profession that ever lived, took a wineof all sorts-shy and reserved, when they are con- glassful of old rum, mixed with sugar, every day after scious of merit-petulant and whimsical, by way of his dinner." showing their independence-intrusive, in order to "Ay ? dear heart, he would be a comfortable doctor appear easy--and sometimes obsequious and fawning, that," said Mrs. Blower. "He wad maybe ken somewhen they chance to be of a mean spirit. But you thing of my case. Is he leevin' think ye, sir ?" seldom see them quite at their ease, and therefore I 'Dead for many years, madam,” said Dr. Quacklehold this Mr. Tyrrel to be either an artist of the first ben; "and there are but few of his pupils that can fill class, raised completely above the necessity and de- his place, I assure ye. If I could be thought an excepgradation of patronage, or else to be no professional tion, it is only because I was a favourite. Ah! blessartist at all."
ings on the old red cloak of him !-It covered more Lady Penelope looked at Lady Binks with much of the healing science than the gowns of a whole mosuch a regard as Baalam may have cast upon his dern university." ass, when he discovered the animal's capacity for “There is ane, sir," said Mrs. Blower, "that has holding an argument with him. She muttered to been muckle recommended about Edinburgh-Macherself
gregor, I think they ca' him-folk come far and near Mon ane parle, el meme tl parie dien !
to see him."'*
"I know whom you mean, ma'am-a clever man But, declining the altercation which Lady Binks -no denying it a clever man--but there are certain seemed disposed to enter into, she replied, with good cases-yours
, for example-and I think that of many humour, “Well, dearest
Rachel, we will not pull caps that come to drink this water-which I cannot say I about this man--nay, I think your good opinion of him gives him new value in my eyes. That is always celebrated Dr. Cullen's personal habits is previously mentioned.
* The late Dr. Gregory is probably intimated, as one of the the way with us, my good friend! We may confess Dr. Gregory was distinguished for putung hie patients on a 1twhen there are none of these conceited male severe regimeu.
think he perfectly understands-hasty-very hasty "Twa pleasant men, Doctor," said the widow, and rapid. Now 1-I give the disease its own way at “and so is Şir Bungy too, for that matter; but O! is first-then watch it, Mrs. Blower-watch the turn of nae it a pity he should bide sae lang by the bottle? It the tide."
was puir John Blower's faut too, that weary tippling; "Ay, troth, that's true," responded the widow; when he wan to the lee-side of a bowl of punch, there "John Blower was aye watching turn of tide, puir was nae raising him.--But they are taking awa
the things, and, Doctor, is it not an awfu' thing that "Then he is a starving doctor, Mrs. Blower-re- the creature-comforts should hae been used without duces diseases as soldiers do towns-by famine, not grace or thanksgiving ?-that Mr. Chitterling, if he considering that the friendly inhabitants suffer as really be a minister, has muckle to answer for, that much as the hostile garrison-ahem!"
he neglects his Master's service." Here he gave an important and emphatic cough, “Why, madam," said the Doctor, ."Mr. Chatterly and then proceeded.
is scarce arrived at the rank of a minister plenipoten"I am no friend either to excess or to violent sti- tiary." mulus, Mrs. Blower-but nature must be supported A minister potentiary--ah, Doctor, I doubt that is a generous diet-cordials judiciously thrown in-not some jest of yours," said the widow; "that's sao without the advice of a medical man--that is my like puir John Blower. When I wad hae had him opinion, Mrs. Blower, to speak as a friend-others gie up the Lovely Peggy, ship and cargo, (the vessel may starve their patients if they have a mind." was named after me, Doctor Kittleben,) to be remem
"It wadna do for me, the starving, Dr. Keeker- bered in the prayers o' the congregation, he wad say ben," said the alarmed relict, -" it wadna do for me to me, they may pray that stand the risk, Peggy at a'-Just a' I can do to wear through the day with Bryce, for I've made insurance. He was a merry the sma' supports that nature requires-not a soul to man, Doctor; but he had the root of the matter in look after me, Doctor, since John Blower was ta'en him, for a' his light way of speaking, as deep as ony awa.-Thank ye kindly, sir,” (to the servant who skipper that ever loosed anchor from Leith Roads. handed the tea,)-"thank ye, my bonny man,” (to I hae been a forsaken creature since his death-O the page who served the cake) —"Now, dinna, ye ihe weary days and nights that I have had !--and the think, Doctor," (in a low and confidential voice) weight on the spirits—the spirits, Doctor!-though I "that her leddyship's tea is rather of the weakliest-canna say I hae been easier since I hae been at the water bewitched, I think--and Mrs. Jones, as they Wall than even now-if I kend what I was awing ye ca' her, has cut the seedcake very thin ?”
for elickstir, Doctor, for it's done me muckle heart's "It is the fashion, Mrs. Blower," answered Dr. good, for-by the opening of my mind to you." Quackleben; "and her ladyship's tea is excellent. "Fie, fie, ma'am," said the Doctor, as the widow But your taste is a little chilled, which is not uncom. I pulled out a seal-skin pouch, such as sailors carry to mon at the first use of the waters, so that you are not bacco in, but apparently well-stuffed with bank-notes, sensible of the flavour-we must support the system -"Fie, fie, madam-I'am no apothecary-I have my -reinforce the digestive powers--give me leave diploma from Leyden--a regular physician, madam, you are a stranger," Mrs. Blower, and we must take the elixir is heartily at your service; and should care of you, I have an elixir which will put that mat- you want any advice, no man will be prouder to aster to rights in a moment."
sist you than your humble servant." So saying, Dr. Quackleben pulled from his pocket “I am sure I am muckle obliged to your kindness, a small portable case of medicines-"Catch me withDr. Kickalpin," said the widow, folding up her pouch; out my tools,"'--he said, “here I have the real useful “this was puir John Blower's spleuchan,* as they ca' pharmacopæia-the rest is all humbug and hard it-I e'en wear it for his sake. He was a kind man, names--this little case, with a fortnight or month, and left me comfortable in warld's gudes; but comspring and fall, at St. Ronan's Well, and no one will forts hae their cumbers, ---to be a lone woman is a die till his day come.'
sair weird, Dr. Kittlepin.". Thus boasting, the Doctor drew from his case a Dr. Quackleben drew his chair a little nearer that large vial or small flask, full of a high-coloured of the widow, and entered into a closer communicaliquid, of which he mixed three tea-spoonfuls in Mrs. tion with her, in a tone doubtless of more delicate Blower's cup, who, immediately afterwards, allowed consolation than was fit for the ears of the company that the flavour was improved beyond all belief
, and at large. that it was "vera comfortable and restorative in- One of the chief delights of a watering place is, that deed."
every one's affairs seem to be put under the special Will it not do good to my complaints. Doctor?" surveillance of the whole
company, so that, in all said Mr. Winterblossom, who had strolled towards probability, the various flirtations, liaisons, and so them, and held out his cúp to the physician.
forth, which naturally take place in the society, are "I by no means recommend i1
, Mr. Winterblos- not only the subject of amusement to the parties som,” said Dr. Quackleben, shutting up his case with engaged, but also to the lookers on; that is to say, great coolness; “your case is ædematous, and you generally speaking, to the whole community, of which treat it your own way--you are as good a physician for the time the said parties are members. Lady 28 I am, and I never interfere with another prac- Penelope, the presiding goddess, of the region, watchtitioner's patient."..
ful over all her circle, was not long of observing that "Well, Doctor," said Winterblossom, "I must the Doctor seemed to be suddenly engaged in close wait till Sir Bingo comes in-he has a hunting-flask communication with the widow, and that he had even usually
about him, which contains as good medicine ventured to take hold of her fair plump hand, with a as yours to the full.”
manner which partook at once of the gallant suitor, You will wait for Sir Bingo some time," said the and of the medical adviser. Doctor; "he is a gentleman of sedentary habits-he “For the love of Heaven," said her ladyship, "who has ordered another magnum.
can that comely dame be, on whom our excellent Sir Bingo is an unco name for a man o' quality, and learned Doctor looks with such uncommon redinna ye think sae, Dr. Çocklehen ?" said Mrs. gard ?" Blower... “John Blower, when he was a wee bit in Fat, fair, and forty," said Mr. Winterblossom ; the wind's eye, as he ca'd it, puir fallow-used to sing “that is all I know of her--a mercantile person." a sang about a dog they ca'd Bingo, that suld hae be- A carrack, Sir President," said the chaplain, langed to a fariner."
"richly laden_with colonial produce, by name the “Our Bingo is but a puppy yet, madam-or if a Lovely Peggy Bryce--no master---the late John Blowdog, he is a sad dog," said Mr. Winterblossom, ap- er of North Leith having pushed off his boat for the plauding his own wis by one of his own inimitable Stygian Creek, and left the vessel without a hand on smiles.
board." “Or a mad dog, rather," said Mr. Chatterly, " for "The Doctor," said Lady Penelope, turning her he drinks no water;" and he also smiled gracefully glass towards them, "seems willing to play the part at the thoughts of having trumped, as it were, the l of pilot.' president's pun.
• A far pouch for keeping tobacon