cient apology, or you must meet in a quiet way, with a good friend on each side.-And this was the errand I came on, when this tamned woman, with the hearth-broom, who is an enemy to all quiet and peaceable proceedings"

"We will forget Mrs. Dods for the present, if you please, Captain MacTurk," said Tyrrel-" and, to speak to the present subject, you will permit me to say, that I think this summons comes a little of the latest. You know best as a military man, but I have always understood that such differences are usually settled immediately after they occur-not that I intend to baulk Sir Bingo's inclinations upon the score of delay, or any other account."

"But if you will trust to me, I will bring up a friend on your part from the Well, who, though you have hardly seen him before, will settle matters for you as well as if you had been intimate for twenty yearsand I will bring up the Doctor too, if I can get him unloosed from the petticoat of that fat widow Blower, that he has strung himself upon."

"I have no doubt you will do every thing with perfect accuracy, Captain. At one o'clock, then, we meet at the Buck-stane-stay, permit me to see you to the door." "By Cot! and it is not altogether so unnecessary," said the Captain; "for the tamned woman with the besom might have some advantage in that long dark I dare say you will not-I dare say you will not, passage, knowing the ground better than I do-tamn Mr. Tyrrel," answered the Captain-"I am free to her, I will have amends on her, if there be whippingthink that you know better what belongs to a gentle-post, or ducking-stool, or a pair of stocks, in the man. And as to time-look you, my good sir, there parish!" And so saying, the Captain trudged off, his are different sorts of people in this world, as there are spirits ever and anon agitated by recollection of the different sorts of fire-arms. There are your hair- causeless aggression of Meg Dods, and again comtriggered rifles, that go off just at the right moment, posed to a state of happy serenity by the recollection and in the twinkling of an eye, and that, Mr. Tyrrel, of the agreeable arrangement which he had made is your true man of honour;-and there is a sort of between Mr. Tyrrel, and his friend Sir Bingo Binks. person that takes a thing up too soon, and sometimes We have heard of men of undoubted benevolence of backs out of it, like your rubbishy Birmingham pieces, character and disposition, whose principal delight that will at one time go off at half-cock, and at ano- was to see a miserable criminal, degraded alike by ther time burn priming without going off at all;-- his previous crimes, and the sentence which he had then again there are pieces that hang fire-or I should incurred, conclude a vicious and wretched life, by an rather say, that are like the matchlocks which the ignominious and painful death. It was some such black fellows use in the East Indies-there must be inconsistency of character which induced honest some blowing of the match, and so forth, which occa- Captain MacTurk, who had really been a meritorisions delay, but the piece carries true enough after all." ous officer, and was a good-natured, honourable, "And your friend Sir Bingo's valour is of this last and well-intentioned man, to place his chief delight kind, Captain-I presume that is the inference. I in setting his friends by the ears, and then acting as should have thought it more like a boy's cannon, umpire in the dangerous recontres, which, according which is fired by means of a train, and is but a pop- to his code of honour, were absolutely necessary to restore peace and cordiality. We leave the explanation of such anomalies to the labours of craniologists, for they seem to defy all the researches of the Ethic philosopher.

gun after all."

"I cannot allow of such comparisons, sir," said the Captain; "you will understand that I come here as Sir Bingo's friend, and a reflection on him will be an affront to me.'

"I disclaim all intended offence to you, Captain-I have no wish to extend the number of my adversaries, or to add to them the name of a gallant officer like yourself," replied Tyrrel.

"You are too obliging, sir," said the Captain, drawing himself up with dignity. "By Cot! and that was said very handsomely!-Well, sir, and shall I not have the pleasure of carrying back any explanation from you to Sir Bingo?-I assure you it would give me pleasure to make this matter handsomely up.'

"To Sir Bingo, Captain MacTurk, I have no apology to offer-I think I treated him more gently than his impertinence deserved."

"Och, Och!" sighed the Captain, with a strong Highland intonation; "then there is no more to be said, but just to settle time and place; for pistols I suppose must be the weapons."

All these matters are quite the same to me," said Tyrrel; "only, in respect of time, I should wish it to be as speedy as possible.-What say you to one, afternoon, this very day?--You may name the place." 66 At one, afternoon," replied the Captain deliberately, "Sir Bingo will attend you the place may be the Buck-stane; for as the whole company go to the water-side to-day to eat a kettle of fish, there will be no risk of interruption.-And who shall I speak to, good friend, on your side of the quarrel ?" Really, Captain," replied Tyrrel, "that is a puzzling question-I have no friend here-I suppose you could hardly act for both?"

"It would be totally, absolutely, and altogether out of the question, my good friend," replied MacTurk. A kettle of fish is a fete-champetre of a particular kind, which is to other fetes champetres what the piscatory eclogues of Brown or Sannazario are to pastoral poetry. A large caldron is boiled by the side of a salmon river, containing a quantity of water, thickened with salt to the consistence of brine. In this

CHAPTER XIII.

DISAPPOINTMENT.

Evans. I pray you now, good Master Slender's serving-man, and friend Simple by your name, which way have you looked for Master Caius?

Slender. Marry, sir, the City-ward, the Park-ward, every way; Old Windsor way, and every way.

Merry Wives of Windsor.

SIR BINGO BINKS received the Captain's communication with the same dogged sullenness he had displayed at sending the challenge; a most ungracious humph, ascending, as it were, from the very bottom of his stomach, through the folds of a Belcher handkerchief, intimating his acquiescence, in a tone nearly as gracious as that with which the drowsy traveller acknowledges the intimation of the slipshod ostler, that it is on the stroke of five, and the horn will sound in a minute. Captain MacTurk by no means considered this ejaculation as expressing a proper estimate of his own trouble and services.

Humph?" he replied; "and what does that mean, Sir Bingo? Have not I here had the trouble to put you just into the neat road; and would you have been able to make a handsome affair out of it at all, after you had let it hang so long in the wind, if I had not taken on myself to make it agreeable to the gentleman, and cooked as neat a mess out of it as I have seen a Frenchman do out of a stale sprat?"

Sir Bingo saw it was necessary to utter some intimation of acquiescence and acknowledgment, which, however inarticulate, was sufficient to satisfy the veteran, to whom the adjustment of a personal affair of this kind was a labour of love, and who now, kindly mindful of his promise to Tyrrel, hurried away as if he had been about the most charitable action upon earth, to secure the attendance of some one as a witness on the stranger's part.

the fish is plunged when taken, and eaten by the company Turk had in his own mind pitched upon as the fittest Mr. Winterblossom was the person whom Macfronde super viridi. This is accounted the best way of eating salmon, by those who desire to taste the fish in a state of ex-person to perform this act of benevolence, and he lost treme freshness. Others prefer it after being kept a day or two, when the curd melts into oil, and the fish becomes richer and gentleman. But Mr. Winterblossom, though a man no time in communicating his wish to that worthy more luscious. The more judicious gastronomes eat no other sauce than a spoonful of the water in which the salmon is of the world, and well enough acquainted with such boiled, together with a little pepper and vinegar, matters, was by no means so passionately addicted

"Och," says he, "1 do pray you, Doctor, to carry that packet of yours under the breast of your coat, or in your pocket, or somewhere out of sight, and by no means to produce or open it before the parties. For although scalpels, and tourniquets, and pincers, and the like, are very ingenious implements, and pretty to behold, and are also useful when time and occasion call for them, yet I have known the sight of them take away a man's fighting stomach, and so lose their owner a job, Dr. Quackleben."

to them as was the man of peace, Captain Hector | leather which formed his case of portable instruMacTurk. As a bon vivant, he hated trouble of any ments, and uncoiled before the Captain, with ostentakind, and the shrewd selfishness of his disposition tious display, its formidable and glittering contents, enabled him to foresee, that a good deal might accrue upon which he began to lecture as upon a copious and to a. concerned in the course of this business. He, interesting text, until the man of war thought it netherefore, coolly replied, that he knew nothing of Mr. cessary to give him a word of caution. Tyrrel-not even whether he was a gentleman or not; and besides, he had received no regular application in his behalf-he did not, therefore, feel himself at all inclined to go to the field as his second. This refusal drove the poor Captain to despair. He conjured his friend to be more public-spirited, and entreated him to consider the reputation of the Well, which was to them as a common country, and the honour of the company to which they both belonged, and of which Mr. Winterblossom was in a manner the proper representative, as being, with consent of "By my faith, Captain MacTurk," said the Doctor, all, the perpetual president. He reminded him how "you speak as if you were graduated!-I have known many quarrels had been nightly undertaken and de- these treacherous articles play their master many a parted from on the ensuing morning, without any cursed trick. The very sight of my forceps, without suitable consequences-said, "that people began to the least effort on my part, once cured an inveterate talk of the place oddly; and that, for his own part, he toothache of three days' duration, prevented the exfound his own honour so nearly touched, that he had traction of a carious molendinar, which it was the begun to think he himself would be obliged to bring very end of their formation to achieve, and sent me somebody or other to account, for the general credit home minus a guinea. But hand me that great-coat, of the Well; and now, just when the most beautiful Captain, and we will place the instruments in ambusoccasion had arisen to put every thing on a hand-cade, until they are called into action in due time. I some footing, it was hard-it was cruel-it was most unjustifiable in Mr. Winterblossom, to decline so simple a matter as was requested of him."

Dry and taciturn as the Captain was on all ordinary occasions, he proved, on the present, eloquent and almost pathetic; for the tears came into his eyes when he recounted the various quarrels which had become addled, notwithstanding his best endeavours to hatch them into an honourable meeting; and here was one, at length, just chipping the shell, like to be smothered, for want of the most ordinary concession on the part of Winterblossom. In short, that gentleman could not hold out any longer. "It was," he said, "a very foolish business, he thought; but to oblige Sir Bingo and Captain MacTurk, he had no objection to walk with them about noon as far as the Buck-stane, although he must observe the day was hazy, and he had felt a prophetic twinge or two, which looked like a visit of his old acquaintance podagra."

Never mind that, my excellent friend," said the Captain, a sup out of Sir Bingo's flask is like enough to put that to rights; and by my soul, it is not the thing he is like to leave behind him on this sort of occasion, unless I be far mistaken in my man.'

"But," said Winterblossom, "although I comply with your wishes thus far, Captain MacTurk, I by no means undertake for certain to back this same Master Tyrrel, of whom I know nothing at all, but only agree to go to the place in hopes of preventing mischief."

Never fash your beard about that, Mr. Winterblossom," replied the Captain; "for a little mischief, as you call it, is become a thing absolutely necessary to the credit of the place; and I am sure, whatever be the consequences, they cannot in the present instance be very fatal to any body; for here is a young fellow that, if he should have a misfortune, nobody will miss, for nobody knows him; then there is Sir Bingo, whom every body knows so well, that they will miss him all the less."

"And there will be Lady Bingo, a wealthy and handsome young widow," said Winterblossom, throwing his hat upon his head with the grace and pretension of former days, and sighing to see, as he looked in the mirror, how much time, that had whitened his hair, rounded his stomach, wrinkled his brow, and bent down his shoulders, had disqualified him, as he expressed it, "for entering for such a plate."

Secure of Winterblossom, the Captain's next anxiety was to obtain the presence of Dr. Quackleben, who, although he wrote himself M. D., did not by any means decline practice as a surgeon, when any job offered for which he was likely to be well paid, as was warranted in the present instance, the wealthy baronet being a party principally concerned. The Doctor, therefore, like the eagle scented the carnage, seized, at the first word, the huge volume of morocco

should think something will happen-Sir Bingo is a sure shot at a moorcock."

Cannot say," replied MacTurk; "I have known the pistol shake many a hand that held the fowlingpiece fast enough. Yonder Tyrrel looks like a teevilish cool customer--I watched him the whole time I was delivering my errand, and I can promise you he is mettle to the backbone."

"Well-I will have my bandages ready secundum artem," replied the man of medicine. "We must guard against hæmorrhage-Sir Bingo is a plethoric subject. One o'clock, you say at the Buck-staneI will be punctual."

"Will you not walk with us?" said Captain MacTurk, who seemed willing to keep his whole convoy together on this occasion, lest, peradventure, any of them had fled from under his patronage.

"No," replied the Doctor, "I must first make an apology to worthy Mrs. Blower, for I had promised her my arm down to the river-side, where they are all to eat a kettle of fish."

By Cot! and I hope we shall make them a prettier kettle of fish than was ever seen at St. Ronan's," said the Captain, rubbing his hands.

"Don't say we, Captain," replied the cautious Doctor; "I for one have nothing to do with the meeting-wash my hands of it. No, no, I cannot afford to be clapt up as accessory.-You ask me to meet you at the Buck-stane-no purpose assignedI am willing to oblige my worthy friend, Captain MacTurk-walk that way, thinking of nothing particular-hear the report of pistols-hasten to the spot

fortunately just in time to prevent the most fatal consequences-chance most opportunely to have my case of instruments with me-indeed, generally walk with them about me-nunquam non paratus-then give my professional definition of the wound and state of the patient. That is the way to give evidence Captain, before sheriffs, coroners, and such sort of folk-never commit one's self-it is a rule of our profession."

"Well, well, Doctor," answered the Captain, "you know your own ways best; and so you are but there to give a chance of help in case of accident, all the laws of honour will be fully complied with. But it would be a foul reflection upon me, as a man of honour, if I did not take care that there should be somebody to come in thirdsman between Death and my principal."

At the awful hour of one, afternoon, there arrived upon the appointed spot Captain MacTurk, leading to the field the valorous Sir Bingo, not exactly straining like a greyhound in the slips, but rather looking moody like a butcher's bull-dog, which knows he must fight since his master bids him. Yet the Baronet showed no outward flinching or abatement of courage, excepting, that the tune of Jenny Sutton,

which he had whistled without intermission since he | to provoke quarrels, or to care about them. So, releft the Hotel, had, during the last half mile of their walk, sunk into silence; although, to look at the muscles of the mouth, projection of the lip, and vacancy of the eye, it seemed as if the notes were still passing through his mind, and that he whistled Jenny Sutton in his imagination. Mr. Winterblossom came two minutes after this happy pair and the Doctor was equally punctual.

serve your fire; it is all thrown away on such an old cock as I am. But I really wish we knew whether this fellow means to come--twenty minutes past the hour-I think it is odds that you are bilked, Sir Bingo?"

"Upon my soul," said the former, "this is a mighty silly affair, Sir Bingo, and might, I think, be easily taken up, at less risk to all parties than a meeting of this kind. You should recollect, Sir Bingo, that you have much depending upon your life -you are a married man, Sir Bingo."

Sir Bingo turned the quid in his mouth and squirted out the juice in a most coachman-like manner.

"Mr. Winterblossom," said the Captain, "Sir Bingo has in this matter put himself in my hands, and unless you think yourself more able to direct his course than I am, I must frankly tell you, that I will be disobliged by your interference. You may speak to your own friend as much as you please; and if you find yourself authorized to make any proposal, I shall be desirous to lend an ear to it on the part of my worthy principal, Sir Bingo. But I will be plain with you, that I do not greatly approve of settlements upon the field, though I hope I am a quiet and peaceable man. But here is our honour to be looked after in the first place; and moreover, I must insist that every proposal for accommodation shall originate with your party or yourself."

My party?" answered Winterblossom; "why really, though I came hither at your request, Captain MacTurk, yet I must see more of the matter, ere I can fairly pronounce myself second to a man I never saw but once.' 1)

And, perhaps, may never see again," said the Doctor, looking at his watch; "for it is ten minutes past the hour, and here is no Mr. Tyrrel."

"Hey! what's that you say, Doctor?" said the Baronet, awakened from his apathy.

"He speaks tamned nonsense," said the Captain, pulling out a huge old-fashioned, turnip-shaped inplement, with a blackened silver dial-plate. "It is not above three minutes after one by the true time, and I will uphold Mr. Tyrrel to be a man of his word-never saw a man take a thing more coolly."

"Not more coolly than he takes his walk this way," said the Doctor; "for the hour is as I tell you -remember I am professional-have pulses to count by the second and half-second-my time-piece must go as true as the sun."

"And I have mounted guard a thousand times by my watch," said the Captain; "and I defy the devil to say that Hector MacTurk did not always discharge his duty to the twentieth part of the fraction of a second-it was my great grandmother, Lady Killbracklin's and I will maintain its reputation against any timepiece that ever went upon wheels."

Well, then, look at your own watch, Captain," said Winterblossom, for time stands still with no man, and while we speak the hour advances. On my word, I think this Mr. Tyrrel intends to humbug

us.

"Hey! what's that you say?" said Sir Bingo, once more starting from his sullen reverie.

"Bilked! hey!" cried Sir Bingo; "by Gad, I always thought so-I wagered with Mowbray he was a raff--I am had, by Gad. I'll wait no longer than the half hour, by Gad, were he a field-marshal." "You will be directed in that matter by your friend, if you please, Sir Bingo," said the Captain.

"D-n me if I will," returned the Baronet-"Friend? a pretty friend, to bring me out here on such a fool's errand! I knew the fellow was a raff-but I never thought you, with all your chaff about honour, such a d-d spoon as to bring a message from a fellow who has fled the pit!"

"If you regret so much having come here to no purpose," said the Captain, in a very lofty tone, "and if you think I have used you like a spoon, as you say, I will have no objection in life to take Mr. Tyrrel's place, and serve your occasion, my boy."

"By and if you like it, you may fire away, and welcome," said Sir Bingo; "and I'll spin a crown for first shot, for I do not understand being brought here for nothing, d-n me!"

"And there was never man alive so ready as I am to give you something to stay your stomach," said the irritable Highlander.

"Oh, fie, gentlemen! fie, fie, fie!" exclaimed the pacific Mr. Winterblossom-"For shame, CaptainOut upon you, Sir Bingo, are you mad?-what, principal and second!-the like was never heard of

never."

The parties were in some degree recalled to their more cool recollections by this expostulation, yet continued a short quarter-deck walk to and fro, upon parallel lines, looking at each other sullenly as they passed, and bristling like two dogs who have a mind to quarrel, yet hesitate to commence hostilities. During this promenade, also, the perpendicular and erect carriage of the veteran, rising on his toes at every step, formed a whimsical contrast with the heavy loutish shuffle of the bulky Baronet, who had, by dint of practice, very nearly attained that most enviable of all carriages, the gate of a shambling Yorkshire ostler. His coarse spirit was now thoroughly kindled, and like iron, or any other baser metal, which is slow in receiving heat, it retained long the smouldering and angry spirit of resentment that had originally brought him to the place, and now rendered him willing to wreak his uncomfortable feelings upon the nearest object which occurred, since the first purpose of his coming thither was frustrated. In his own phrase, his pluck was up, and finding himself in a fighting humour, he thought it a pity, like Bob Acres, that so much good courage should be thrown away. As, however, that courage after all consisted chiefly in ill humour; and as, in the demeanour of the Captain, he read nothing deferential or deprecatory of his wrath, he began to listen with more attention to the arguments of Mr. Winterblossom, who entreated them not to sully, by private quarrel, the honour they had that day so happily acquired without either blood or risk.

"It was now," he said, "three quarters of an hour past the time appointed for this person, who calls himself Tyrrel, to meet Sir Bingo Binks. Now, instead of standing squabbling here, which serves no

"I shall not look at my watch upon no such matter," said the Captain; nor will I any way be disposed to doubt your friend's honour, Mr. Winter-purpose, I propose we should reduce to writing the blossom."

My friend?" said Mr. Winterblossom; "I must tell you once more, Captain, that this Mr. Tyrrel is no fiiend of mine-none in the world. He is your friend. Captain MacTurk; and I own, if he keeps us waiting much longer on this occasion, I will be apt to consider his friendship as of very little value."

"And how dare you, then, say that the man is my friend?" said the Captain, knitting his brows in a most formidable manner.

'Pooh! pooh! Captain," answered Winterblossom, coolly, if not contemptuously-"keep all that for Billy boys; I have lived in the world too long either VOL. IV. 3 L

circumstances which attend this affair, for the satisfaction of the company at the Well, and that the memorandum shall be regularly attested by our subscriptions; after which, I shall farther humbly propose that it be subjected to the revision of the Committee of Management."

"I object to any revision of a statement to which my name shall be appended," said the Captain..

"Right-very true, Captain," said the complaisant Mr. Winterblossom; "undoubtedly you know best, and your signature is completely sufficient to authenticate this transaction-however, as it is the most important which has occurred since the Spring was

established, I propose we shall all sign the procèsverbal, as I may term it."

"Leave me out, if you please," said the Doctor, not much satisfied that both the original quarrel and the by-battle had passed over without any occasion for the offices of a Machaon; "leave me out, if you please; for it does not become me to be ostensibly concerned in any proceedings, which have had for their object a breach of the peace. And for the importance of waiting here for an hour, in a fine afternoon, it is my opinion there was a more important service done to the Well of St. Ronan's, when I, Quentin Quackleben, M. D., cured Lady Penelope Penfeather of her seventh attack upon the nerves, attended with febrile symptoms.".

"No disparagement to your skill at all, Doctor," said Mr. Winterblossom; "but I conceive the lesson which this fellow has received will be a great means to prevent improper persons from appearing at the Spring hereafter; and, for my part, I shall move that no one be invited to dine at the table in future, till his name is regularly entered as a member of the company, in the lists at the public room. And I hope both Sir Bingo and the Captain will receive the thanks of the company, for their spirited conduct in expelling the intruder.-Sir Bingo, will you allow me to apply to your flask- -a little twinge I feel, owing to the dampness of the grass."

A little lower followed this separate attestation. "I, Quentin Quackleben, M. D., F. R. S., D. E., B. L., X. Z., &c. &c., being called upon to attest what I know in the said matter, do hereby verify, that being by accident at the Buck-stane, near St. Ronan's Burn, on this present day, at the hour of one afternoon, and chancing to remain there for the space of nearly an hour, conversing with Sir Bingo Binks, Captain MacTurk, and Mr. Winterblossom, we did not, during that time, see or hear any thing of or from the person calling himself Francis Tyrrel, whose presence at that place seemed to be expected by the gentlemen I have just named." This affiche was dated like the former, and certified under the august hand of Quentin Quackieben, M. D., &c. &c. &c.

Sir Bingo, soothed by the consequence he had ac- Again, and prefaced by the averment that an imquired, readily imparted to the invalid a thimbleful of proper person had been lately introduced into the his cordial, which, we believe, had been prepared by company of St. Ronan's Well, there came forth a some cunning chymist in the wilds of Glenlivat. He legislative enactment, on the part of the Committee, then filled a bumper, and extended it towards the declaring, "that no one shall in future be invited to veteran, as an unequivocal symptom of reconcilia- the dinners, or balls, or other entertainments of the tion. The real turbinacious flavour no sooner reached Well, until their names shall be regularly entered in the nose of the Captain, than the beverage was turned the books kept for the purpose at the rooms." Lastdown his throat with symptoms of most unequivocally, there was a vote of thanks to Sir Bingo Binks and applause.

"I shall have some hope of the young fellows of this day," he said, "now that they begin to give up their Dutch and French distilled waters, and stick to genuine Highland ware. By Cot, it is the only liquor fit for a gentleman to drink in a morning, if he can have the good fortune to come by it, you see.'

"Or after dinner either, Captain," said the Doctor, to whom the glass had passed in rotation; "it is worth all the wines in France for flavour, and more cordial to the system besides."

"And now," said the Captain, "that we may not go off the ground with any thing on our stomachs worse than the whisky, I can afford to say, (as Captain Hector MacTurk's character is tolerably well established,) that I am sorry for the little difference that has occurred betwixt me and my worthy friend, Sir Bingo, here."

66

And since you are so civil, Captain," said Sir Bingo, "why, I am sorry too-only it would put the devil out of temper to lose so fine a fishing day-wind south-fine air on the pool-water settled from the flood-just in trim-and I dare say three pairs of hooks have passed over my cast before this time!"

He closed this elaborate lamentation with a libation of the same cordial which he had imparted to his companions; and they returned in a body to the Hotel, where the transactions of the morning were soon afterwards announced to the company, by the following program:-

STATEMENT.

Captain MacTurk for their spirited conduct, and the pains which they had taken to exclude an improper person from the company at St. Ronan's Well.

These annunciations speedily became the magnet of the day. All idlers crowded to peruse them; and it would be endless to notice the "God bless me's"the "Lord have a care of us"-the "Saw you ever the like's" of gossips, any more than the "Dear me's" and "Oh, laa's" of the titupping misses, and the oaths of the pantalooned or buck-skin'd beaux. The character of Sir Bingo rose like the stocks at the news of a despatch from the Duke of Wellington, and, what was extraordinary, attained some consequence even in the estimation of his lady. All shook their heads at the recollection of the unlucky Tyrrel, and found out much in his manner and address which convinced them that he was but an adventurer and swindler. A few, however, less partial to the Committee of Management, (for whenever there is an administration, there will soon arise an opposition,) whispered among themselves, that, to give the fellow his due, the man, be he what he would, had only come among them, like the devil, when he was called for; and honest Dame Blower blessed herself when she heard of such blood-thirsty doings as had been intended, and "thanked God that honest Doctor Kickherben had come to nae harm amang a' their nonsense."

CHAPTER XIV.

THE CONSULTATION.

"Sir Bingo Binks, baronet, having found himself aggrieved by the uncivil behaviour of an individual calling himself Francis Tyrrel, now or lately a resiClown. I hope here be proofs.-Measure for Measure. dent at the Cleikum Inn, Aultoun of St. Ronan's; THE borough of lies, as all the world knows, and having empowered Captain Hector MacTurk to about fourteen miles distant from St. Ronan's, being wait upon the said Mr. Tyrrel to demand an apology, the county town of that shire, which, as described in under the alternative of personal satisfaction, accord- the Tourist's Guide, numbers among its objects of ing to the laws of honour and the practice of gentle-interest that gay and popular watering-place, whose men, the said Tyrrel voluntarily engaged to meet the said Sir Bingo Binks, baronet, at the Buck-stane near St. Ronan's Burn, upon this present day, being Wednesday - August. In consequence of which appointment, we, the undersigned, did attend at the place named, from one o'clock till two, without seeing or hearing any thing whatever of the said Fran- I

fame, no doubt, will be greatly enhanced by the present annals of its earlier history. As it is at present unnecessary to be more particular concerning the scene of our story, we will fill up the blank left in the first name with the fictitious appellation of Marchthorn, having often found ourselves embarrassed in the course of a story, by the occurrence of an ugly hiatus, which we

cannot always at first sight fill up, with the proper | skin, and a black silk bonnet, trimmed with crape, reference to the rest of the narrative. were garments which did not now excite the respect, Marchthorn, then, was an old-fashioned Scottish which in their fresher days they had doubtless comtown, the street of which, on market-day, showed a manded. But there was that in the features of the reasonable number of stout great-coated yeomen, bar-wearer, which would have commanded Mr. Bindtering or dealing for the various commodities of their loose's best regard, though it had appeared in far farms; and on other days of the week, only a few worse attire; for he beheld the face of an ancient forlorn burghers, crawling about like half-awakened customer, who had always paid her law expenses flies, and watching the town steeple till the happy with the ready penny, and whose accompt with the sound of twelve strokes from Time's oracle should bank was balanced by a very respectable sum at her tell them it was time to take their meridian dram. credit. It was, indeed, no other than our respected The narrow windows of the shops intimated very im- friend, Mrs. Dods of the Cleikum Inn, St. Ronan's, perfectly the miscellaneous contents of the interior, Aultoun. where every merchant, as the shopkeepers of Marchthorn were termed, more Scotico, sold every thing that could be thought of. As for manufactures, there were none, except that of the careful Town-Council, who were mightily busied in preparing the warp and woof, which, at the end of every five or six years, the town of Marchtharn contributed, for the purpose of weaving the fourth or fifth part of a member of Parliament.

Now her arrival intimated matter of deep import. Meg was a person of all others most averse to leave he: home, where, in her own opinion at least, nothing went on well without her immediate superintendence. Limited, therefore, as was her sphere, she remained fixed in the centre thereof; and few as were her satellites, they were under the necessity of performing their revolutions around her, while she herself continued stationary. Saturn, in fact, would be scarce In such a town, it usually happens, that the Sheriff- more surprised at a passing call from the Sun, than clerk, especially supposing him agent for several lairds Mr. Bindloose at this unexpected visit of his old client. of the higher order, is possessed of one of the best- In one breath he rebuked the inquisitive impertinence looking houses; and such was that of Mr. Bindloose. of his clerks, in another stimulated his housekeeper, None of the smartness of the brick-built and brass-old Hannah-for Mr. Bindloose was a bluff bachelor hammered mansion of a southern attorney appeared to get tea ready in the green parlour; and while indeed in this mansion, which was a tall, thin, grim-yet speaking, was at the side of the whiskey, unclasplooking building, in the centre of the town, with nar- ing the curtains, rolling down the apron, and assist

row windows and projecting gables, notched into that ing his old friend to dismount. sort of descent, called crow-steps, and having the The japanned tea-caddie, Hannah-the best bohea lower casements defended by stancheons of iron; forbid Tib kindle a spark of fire-the morning's damp Mr. Bindloose, as frequently happens, kept a branch-Draw in the giggling faces of ye, ye d-d idle of one of the two national banks, which had been scoundrels, or laugh at your ain toom pouches--it lately established in the town of Marchthorn. will be lang or your weeldoing fill them." This was Towards the door of this tenement, there advanced spoken, as the honest lawyer himself might have slowly up the ancient, but empty streets of this famous said, in transitu, the rest by the side of the carriage. borough, a vehicle, which, had it appeared in Picca-"My stars, Mrs. Dods, and is this really your ain dilly, would have furnished unremitted laughter for a sell, in propria persona?-Wha lookit for you at week, and conversation for a twelve month. It was such a time of day ?-Anthony, how's a' wi' ye, a two-wheeled vehicle, which claimed none of the Anthony ?--so ye hae taen the road again, Anthony modern appellations of tilbury, tandem, dennet, or the --help us down wi' the apron, Anthony-that will like; but aspired only to the humble name of that do.-Lean on me, Mrs. Dods-help your mistress, almost forgotten accommodation, a whiskey; or, ac- Anthony-put the horses in my stable-the lads will cording to some authorities, a tim-whiskey. Green give you the key.-Come away, Mrs. Dods-I am was, or had been, its original colour, and it was placed blithe to see you straight your legs on the causeway sturdily and safely low upon its little old-fashioned of our auld borough again-come in by, and we'll see wheels, which bore much less than the usual propor- to get you some breakfast, for ye hae been astcer tion to the size of the carriage which they sustained. early this morning." It had a calash head, which had been pulled up, in consideration either to the dampness of the morning air or to the retiring delicacy of the fair form, which, shrouded by leathern curtains, tenanted this venerable specimen of antediluvian coach-building.

"I am a sair trouble to you, Mr. Bindloose," said the old lady, accepting the offer of his arm, and accompanying him into the house; "I am e'en a sair trouble to you, but I could not rest till I had your advice on something of moment."

"Happy will I be to serve you, my gude auld acquaintance," said the Clerk; "but sit you downsit you down-sit you down, Mrs. Dods-meat and mess never hindered wark. Ye are something overcome wi' your travel-the spirit cannot aye bear through the flesh, Mrs. Dods; ye should remember that your life is a precious one, and ye should take care of your health, Mrs. Dods."

"My life precious!" exclaimed Meg Dods; "nane o' your whullywhaing, Mr. Bindloose-Deil ane wad miss the auld girning alewife, Mr. Bindloose, unless it were here and there a puir body, and maybe the auld house-tyke, that wadna be sae weel guided, puir fallow."

But, as this fair and modest dame no way aspired to the skill of a charioteer, the management of a horse, which seemed as old as the carriage he drew, was in the exclusive charge of an old fellow in a postilion's jacket, whose gray hairs escaped on each side of an old-fashioned velvet jockey-cap, and whose left shoulder was so considerably elevated above his head, that it seemed as if, with little effort, his neck might have been tucked under his arm, like that of a roasted grouse-cock. This gallant equerry was mounted on a steed as old as that which toiled betwixt the shafts of the carriage, and which he guided by a leading rein. Goading one animal with his single spur, and stimulating the other with his whip, he effected a reasonable trot upon the causeway, which only terminated "Fie, fie! Mrs. Dods," said the Clerk, in a tone of when the whiskey stopped at Mr. Bindloose's door-an friendly rebuke; "it vexes an auld friend to hear ye event of importance enough to excite the curiosity of speak of yourself in that respectless sort of a way; the inhabitants of that and the neighbouring houses. and, as for quitting us, I bless God I have not seen Wheels were laid aside, needles left sticking in the you look better this half score of But maybe years. half-finished seams, and many a nose, spectacled and you will be thinking of setting your house in order, unspectacled, was popped out of the adjoining win-which is the act of a carefu' and of a Christian dows, which had the good fortune to command a woman-O! it's an awfu' thing to die intestate, if view of Mr. Bindloose's front door. The faces of two we had grace to consider it." or three giggling clerks were visible at the barred casements of which we have spoken, much amused at the descent of an old lady from this respectable carriage, whose dress and appearance might possibly have been fashionable at the time when her equipage was new. A satin cardinal, lined with gray squirrels'

"Aweel, I daur say I'll consider that some day soon Mr. Bindloose; but that's no my present errand."

"Be it what it like, Mrs. Dods, ye are right heartily welcome here, and we have a' the day to speak of the business in hand-festina lente, that is the true