people of his own condition could make him, for the pleafures of helping the afflicted, fupplying the needy, and befriending the neglected. This humourist keeps to himself much more han he wants, and gives a vaft refufe of his fuperfluities to purchase heaven, and by freeing others from the temptations of worldly want, to carry à retinue with him thither. Of all men who affect living in a particular way, next to this admirable character, I am the most enamoured of Irus, whofe condition will not admit of fuch largeffes, and perhaps would not be capable of making them, if it were Irus, though he is now turned of fifty, has not appeared in the world, in his real character, fince five and twenty,, at which age he ran out a small patrimony, and fpent fome time after with rakes who had lived upon him: a course of ten years time, paffed in all the little alleys, by-paths, and fometimes open taverns and streets of this town, gave Irus a perfect skill in judging of the inclinations of mankind, and acting accordingly. He feriously confidered he was pcor, and the general horror which most men have of all who are in that condition. Irus judged very rightly, that while he could keep his poverty a fecret, he fhould not feel the weight of it; he improved this thought into an affectation of clofenefs and covetoufness. Upon this one principle he refolved to govern his future life; and in the thirty-fixth year of his age he repaired to Long-lane, and looked upon feveral dreffes which hung there deferted by their firft mafters, and expofed to the purchafe of the best bidder. At this place he exchanged his gay fhabbinefs of clothes fit for a much younger man, to warm ones that would be decent for a much older one. Irus came out thoroughly equipped from head to foot, with a little oaken cane in the form of a fubftantial man that did not mind his dress, turned of fifty. He had at this time fifty pounds of ready money; and in this habit, with this fortune, he took his prefent lodging in St. John's-ftreet, at the manfion-house of a taylor's widow, who washes and can clear-ftarch his bands. From that time to this he has kept the main ftock, without alteration under or over, to the value of five pounds. He left off all his old acquaintance to a C 5 man, man, and all his arts of life, except the play of backgammon, upon which he has more than bore his charges.、 Irus has, ever fince he came into this neighbourhood, given all the intimation he fkilly could of being a clofe hunks worth money: no body comes to vifit him, he receives no letters, and tells his money morning and evening. He has, from the public papers, a knowledge of what generally paffes, fhuns all difcourfes of money, but fhrugs his fhoulders when you talk of fecurities; he denies his being rich with the air, which all do who are vain of being fo: he is the oracle of a neighbouring juftice of peace, who meets him at the coffee-houfe; the hopes that what he has must come to fomebody, and that he has no heirs, have that effect wherever he is known, that he every day has three or four invitations to dine at different places, which he generally takes care to choose in fuch a manner, as not to feem inclined to the richer man. All the young men respect him, and fay he is just the fame man he was when they were boys. He ufes no artifice in the world, but makes use of men's defigns upon him to get a maintenance out of them. This he carries on by a certain peevishness, (which he acts very well) that no one would believe could poffibly enter into the head of a poor fellow. His mien, his drefs, his carriage, and his language are fuch, that you would be at a lofs to guefs whether in the active part of his life he had been a fenfible citizen, or fcholar that knew the world. These are the great circumftances in the life of Irus, and thus does he pass away his days a ftranger to mankind; and at his death, the worst that will be faid of him will be, that he got by every man who had expectations from him, more than he had to leave him. I have an inclination to print the following letters; for that I have heard the author of them has fomewhere or other feen me, and by an excellent faculty in mimicry my correfpondents tell me he can affume my air, and give my taciturnity a flynefs which diverts more than any thing I could fay if I were prefent. Thus I am glad my filence is atoned for to the good company in town. He has carried his fkill in imitation fo far, as to have forged a letter from my friend Sir Roger in fuch a manner, that that any one but I, who am thoroughly acquainted with him, would have taken it for genuine. Mr. Spectator, "Having obferved in. Lilly's grammar how sweetly Bacchus and Apollo run in a verfe: I have, to preferve the amity between them, called in Bacchus to the aid of my profeffion of the Theatre. So that while fome people of quality are bespeaking plays of me to be acted upon fuch a day, and others, hogfheads for "their houfes against fuch a time; I am wholly employed "in the agreeable fervice of wit and wine: Sir, I have "fent you Sir Roger de Coverley's letter to me, which pray comply with in favour of the Bumper Tavern.. Be kind, for you know a player's utmoft pride is the approbation of the Spectator. I am your admirer, though unknown, To Mr. Eftcourt, at his houfe in Covent-Garden Coverley, December the 18th, 171Te Old comical Ones,. THE HE hogfheads of neat port came fafe, and have gotten thee good reputation in thefe parts; and "I am glad to hear, that a fellow who has been laying; out his money ever fince he was born, for the mere pleafure of wine, has bethought himself of joining profit and pleafure together. Our fexton (poor man) having received strength from thy wine fince his fit of the gout, is hugely taken with it: he fays it is given by nature for the ufe of families, that no steward'ss table can be without it, that it ftrengthens digeftion, "excludes furfeits, fevers and phyfic; which green wines of any kind cannot do. Pray get a pure fnug room, and I hope next term to help fill your Bumper with our people of the club; but you must have no bells ftirring when the Spectator comes; I forbore ringing to dinner while he was down with me in the country. Thank you for the little hams and Portugal onions; pray keep fome always by you.: C 6 You 'You know my fupper is only good Cheshire cheefe, best muftard, a golden pippin, attended with a pipe of John Sly's belt. Sir Harry has ftolen all your fongs, and tells the story of the 5th of November to perfection. Your's, to ferve you, • Roger de Coverley. • We have loft old John fince you were here.' T N° 265 Thursday, January 3. Dixerit è multis aliquis, quid virus in angues Ovid. de Art. Am. lib. 3. ver. 7. CONGREVE. NE of the fathers, if I am rightly informed, has defined a woman to be ζῶον φιλοκόσμιν, an animal "that delights in finery." I have already treated of the fex in two or three papers, conformably to this definition, and have in particular obferved, that in all ages they have been more careful than the men to adorn that part of the head, which we generally call the outfide. This obfervation is fo very notorious, that when in ordinary difcourfe we fay a man has a fine head, a long head, or a good head, we exprefs ourfelves metaphorically, and fpeak in relation to his understanding; whereas when we fay of a woman, fhe has a fine, a long, or a good head, we fpeak only in relation to her commode. It is obferved among birds, that nature has lavished all her ornaments upon the male, who very often appears in a moft beautiful head-drefs: whether it be a creft, a comb, a tuft of feathers, or a natural little plume, plume, erected like a kind of pinnacle on the very top of the head. As nature on the contrary has poured out her charms in the greatest abundance upon the female part of our fpecies, fo they are very affiduous in beftowing upon themselves the fineft garnitures of art. The peacock, in all his pride, does not difplay half the colours that appear in the garments of a British lady, when the is dreffed either for a ball or a birth-day. But to return to our female heads. The ladies have been for fome time in a kind of moulting feafon, with regard to that part of their drefs, having caft great quantities of ribbon, lace, and cambric, and in fome measure reduced that part of the human figure.to the beautiful globular form, which is natural to it. We have for a great while expected what kind of ornament would be fubftituted in the place of thofe antiquated. commodes. But our female projectors were all the last fummer fo taken up with the improvement of their petticoats, that they had not time to attend to any thing elfe; but having at length fufficiently adorned their lower parts, they now begin to turn their thoughts upon the other extremity, as well remembering the old kitchen proverb, "that if you light your fire at both ends, the middle will shift for itself." I am engaged in this fpeculation by a fight which I lately met with at the opera. As I was ftanding in the hinder part of the box, I took notice of a little cluster of women fitting together in the prettieft coloured hoods. that I ever faw. One of them was blue, another yellow, and another philemot; the fourth was of a pink colour, and the fifth of a pale green. I looked with as much pleasure upon this little party-coloured affembly, as upon a bed of tulips, and did not know at first whether it might not be an embaffy of Indian queens; but upon my going about into the pit, and taking them in front, I was immediately undeceived, and faw fo much beauty in every face, that I found them all to be English. Such eyes and lips, cheeks and foreheads, could be the growth of no other country. The complexion of their faces hindered me from obferving any farther the colour of their hoods, though I could eafily perceive by that unfpeakable fatisfaction which appeared in their looks, that |