354 crown into his hand, he immediately led 2. . was then in, I thought he did not deferve my love. On our arrival at home, I fent my bank bill of five hundred pounds, to be changed into smaller ones; and, when his former miftrefs came, I paid her one hundred pounds, which was the fum promifed her by the I then went into the parlour to y note. husband, with his note, which I had just di charged, and gave it him, defiring he would burn it. He faid to me, Pray, my dear, may I be permitted to inquire, how you came by the money you have juft now fo generously paid for me? I replied, "Yes, furely, Sir; you have a right to ask the quef tion; and it is both my duty and incliustion to anfwer it :' I then prefented the letter to him, in which the bill had been inclofed, faying, at the fame time, I always intended to give it to you, Mr. Williams, but waited an occafion, when, from your wanting of ready cafh, it might have been rendered more acceptable to you. There, Sir, is the remaining four Inundred pounds, difpofe of it as you thall judge proper. Here I pauled. He looked at me with feeming admiration, and faid, I was a generous, noble girl, thanked ine with ecftacy, and took the money. I now feldom faw either my father or mother-in-law; they looked upon me as an extravagant, unthinking girl, who would be the ruin of their fon; they had heard he was arreited, but not at whole fuit; fo, their minds having already taken that bent, with out any farther inquiries into the mater, they fet it down as a fact, that I had been the occafion of it. Amidst all these unpleafing events, I leave you to judge what were my feelings, and how my mind must have fuffered; and the more so, as I endeavoured to conceal my grief, even from the author of it. We were now to go into the country for the fummer. I found the houfe quite finished and elegantly furnished; the ground about it was itill a little in diforder. Here we paffed many agreeable hours; Mr. Williams diverted humfelf all day with his work-people, and I with my books and child in the evenings we met with pleafure, and paffed them in mutual good humour and chearfulnets. In the enjoyment of this delightful scene of domestic felicity I fpent two months, the happieft of my life; when, one morning, I received a card, with Sir William and Lady Beauford, and the Mits Beaufords compli ments to Mr. Williams and myself, and, if we were not engaged, they would wait upon us the next day. The answer was, that we thould fhould be glad of their company. Upon inquiry I found they lived but half a mile diftant from our houfe. The next day, in the afternoon, they came; Sir William feemed to be a good-natured, well behaved man; his wife an old coquette, who was fighting aand gainst nature, in order to appear young handfome; her eldest daughter (for there were two of them) was a fine tall girl, with a large pair of languishing blue eyes, and a complexion like white fattin; her hair was what is generally called red, but I think might, with more propriety, be termed yellow, fince it was exactly the colour of an orange; he had large bones, and was full-chefted; her voice was fo foft and low, that it was with difficulty one heard what the faid; and, in fhort, her whole behaviour bespoke the most tender and romantic turn of mind. Her younger filter was quite the reverse of her, both in figure and manners. When the evening came, they took their leaves, faying, They hoped we fhould be good neighbours.' I had forgot them almolt before they drove out of the court-yard, had not my husband called them back to my idea, by faying, What a fine fubject that eldest Mifs Beauford is, (if a man thought it worth his while) to make a fool of her. The girl's head is turned with novels and romances, which have fo foftened her mind, and enervated her understanding, that she would fall into the first man's arms who would open them to receive her.'-' It would be a great pity the fhould, I replied, for the really is a fine girl, and may make fome worthy man happy in a wife, when the has lived long enough in the world to judge, from her own obfervation of men and manners. My husband used fometimes to ride out on horfe-back in a morning. One day, on his return from one of thele little excurtions, he told me, That he had called upon Sir William Beauford, and that Mifs Beauford would dine with me the next day.' said, dear?' He anfwerinvite her, you ed, Not I, faith; the invited herself.' am forry for it, I replied, because my turn of mind is fo very unlike her's, that I am afraid the will not spend the day agreeably ·with me' O! faid he, the loves walking, and running about the garden; fo I will take care that the thall not be very troublesome to you.' • Did my I My poor little boy continued to be very puny; an aching of his teeth brought on a flow fever, and I trembled daily for his life. Mr. Williams feemed, by fits, to be much touched at the child's fituation. I was now breeding, and, confequently, not very well, and my fpirits were much depreffed by the ficknefs of my poor little infant. When Mifs Beauford arrived, after the ufual compliments, the exclaimed, What a happy woman you are, Mrs. Williams, to poflefs fo delightful a retreat as this is, with the amiable partner of your heart and, continued fhe, turning herfelf about, you have got a library, too, I fee! Good God! you would lofe by exchanging your earthly paradife for a heavenly one! I answered, That the deceived herself, if the thought that there was any fuch thing to be found on earth as perfect felicity." Mr. Williams now joined us; he talked agreeable nonfenfe for fome time, and then propofed a walk to the young Lady, who readily accepted the offer; they went together into the garden. I did not fee them again till dinner was on the table; when I thought Mifs looked a good deal flustered, and her cloaths feemed to fhew that the had been at romps. I rallied her on the diforder of her cap and handkerchief; the faid, Mr. Williams was a provoking creature, for he had rolled her upon the grafs, and plagued her to death." I anfwered, fmiling, It is your own fault, Mifs Beauford; for no man romps with a young Lady, unless he is first convinced that the likes it. She drank tea with us, and then walked home; Mr. Williams attended her thither. In A few days after this, my eldest brother came from Oxford, to spend a month with Mr. Williams, under the pretext that us. I had now got fomebody to bear me company, was perpetually from home. I perceived it with the most fenfible grief, and had fome fufpicions that Mifs Beauford was the thief, who had tole him from me. this ftate of mind, I, one evening, propofed to my brother a little ride out in the chariot, which, as it was very fine weather, he readily accepted. I defired the coachman to chufe a pleasant ride for us; adding, that, when we came to an even and shady spot of ground, I would pull the ftring, and get out and walk a little; fo away we went; but where to, I knew not, till, coming into a wood, I perceived a very neat thatched cottage. I admired both the house and its fituation; fo, pulling the string, I got out of the chariot in order to take a nearer view of this rural habitation; I walked flowly on, leaning upon my brother's arm, when, all of a fudden, I faw two people turn fhort, out of a narrow lane, and with their backs to us, enter the cottage I was then taking a furvey of. I thought i knew them to be my hufband and Mils Beauford; when my brother Y y 2 ex exclaimed, Look, fifter, there is Mr. WilJams, and the young Lady who fo often comes to your houfe! I recollected myfelf, from the reverie this incident had thrown me ito, enough to answer him, No, my dear, it is not them; you have forgot that Mr. Williams went this morning to London aboat bu nus.' He made me no reply, but I planly fiw he was convince that his conjectures were right. I then turned back again, and met the chariot. We returned home: He was thoughtful, and fo was I; but I endeavoured to hide my uneafinefs from him as much as poffible; and faid to him, with car leffincfs, • Charles, my dear, don't tell your brother Williams that you thought you faw him in our walk, this afternoon, bicaufe I am fure it was not him." He replied, I will not mention it, I affure you, filter; nor had I any intention of fo doing Between nine and ten my libertine came home, complaining of the ftink and duft of London, where, however, I was well convinced he had never been that day. I loved my hulband with the utmost tenderness, and could not bear the lofs of his atfection. My heart was torn by thofe two crucl fiends, grief and jealoufy, however, I cautioully concealed them in my own breaft, being perfly perfuaded, that all remonftrances on my part would never ftem the torrent of unruly paflion in him, but, on the contrary, perhaps increate it. The difcafe of itself foon after produced a remedy; for the first time my rival came to fee me, the funk in my esteem, and therefore leffened in my eyes. I felt that fuperiority which virtue ever has over vice, and I looked down upon my husband, and her, with pity, not unmixed with contempt. The many foft looks which I perceived her fteal at him, and the air of infolent negligence with which he replied, gave cafe to my heart, fince I judged from thence of the nature of his connexion with her, and confequently forefaw, that it would not be of a long duration. I was determined to fhorten it, by giving them every opportunity they could with for of being together; and my plan had the defired fuccefs. For, fome time before we returned to town for the winter, ny husband was almost always at home, nor did Mils Beauford ever come to our house unaccompanied by her mother or fifter, and then Mr. Williams always contrived to be out of the way. A few days before I left the country, Lady Beauford and her two daughters came to take leave of me, as they did not intend being in London that winter: I was furprifed at the alteration I perceived in the eldest girl; fhe was pale and thin, and wore an air of melancholy and d jection on her countenance, which too plainly indicated the dif order of her mind. Her mother and fifter feemed much concerned at her indisposition; and whit I furveyed the wreck before me of a fine girl in the bloom of youth, I was foftened to compaffion, and in that moment I forgot all the had made me fuffer, and my heart bled for her: She read my fentiments in my eyes, when catching one of my hands, and pretting it affectionately to her breaft, the faid, in a foft voice, whilft the tear dropped from her eye, You are too good, too amiable, my dear Mrs. Williams! thus to feel for me, and to pity me." In a few days we went to London. My poor child continued drooping every day, a flow fever confumed his little frame, and, in less than a fortnight after our arrival in town, he died on my lap, in a convulsion fit. I was now fix months gone with child, when the fhock of lofing my little George flung me into labour. I was brought to bed of a girl, who lived only a few hours, and it was apprehended, by all thofe who attended me, that I should not long furvive her: But it pleafed Providence to referre me for greater misfortunes than any I had yet experienced, in order, I prefume, to teach my heart the fallacy and danger of all earthly attachments, and to place my affections, and hopes on him who cannot deceive. he Mr. Williams now pafled on from amour to amour without thinking of reforming his conduct. He began to lote his usual gaiety; he grew morofe; home displeased him ; could not bear it unlefs with company; he femed to fhun my eyes, and carefully avoided being alone with me, as much as was poble; he used to come home long after I was in bed, and, confequently, he rofe long after I was up in the morning. Thus I had no confolation left on earth, but the company of my dear Sophie; the uled frequently to come and fpend the day with me; but our door was constantly belet with duns; executions upon executions came upon Mr. Williams; in fhort, we had foon neither houfe in town or country, nor furniture left; all were feized to pay his Newmarket and other debts of honour; and the only alternative that remained to him was to go over to France, or run the rique of waiting for his father's death in a gaol. He chofe the former; his father's allowance was fill with foine difficulty continued to lun, and, though fcanty for one of his diffipation, he was apparently, even in Paris, the happiett man I ever faw, pleafure fo intirely occupied his every moment. We feldom inet but in the the evening at our hotel; when, after I had related the adventures of the preceding day, he feveral times had launched out into raptures, on the agreeable manner in which he had spent his time, at a house he frequented, in the Bois de Boulogne. At laft, I ventured to ask him the name of the family which he visited there. He fimiled, and faid, The Lady's name was Paris, who owned the house; but that the young Ladies who boarded with her were, he believed, no way related to her; (adding,) they are divine creatures! Such figures! fuch talents! and fuch vivacity! In fhort, my dear, they are angels.' I looked grave, and faid, Mr. Williams, if the houfe you feem fo enraptured with be a bad one, you ought to have had delicacy enough to have fpared my fenfibility the knowledge of it.' He replied, Upon my foul, my dear, I affure you, nothin paffes there, the least tending to indecency; it is a houfe, where most of the men of fathion fup, for a guinea a-piece, merely for the pleasure of converfing with the girls, and hearing them play upon fome inftrument, and that's all, upon my honour. I faid, I hoped he spoke the truth, but obferved, at the fam: tim, That it appeared to me rather incredible, that virtuous girls fhould board at a house of public reception, where they were expoled to the convertation of every man, who thought it worth his while to pay a guinea for the pleasure of their company. But, as I had a mind to finish the difcourfe, i ended it, by faying, That I was totally a stranger to the manners of the country I was now in, and that therefore, perhaps what would be regarded as a great impropriety in England, might not be any here.' To which oblervation Mr. Williams whiftled out, Aye, to be fure,' then complained he was fleepy, and fo went to bed. We had now stayed fix weeks at Paris, when my husband propofed our setting out for Lyons. He was foon tired of that place too, and faid he would fettle at Marieilles, which accordingly we did. Not knowing of any particular attachment he had there, I continued, for five or fix months, to live, if not happy, at leaft tolerably content; and fo I might have probably con inued for fome time longer, had it not been for two events which robbed me of all my boalted fortitude, and, after having worked me up almo& to frenzy, funk me into the deepest despair. The firit was a letter directed to Mr. Wil liams, which I had the curiofity to open in his abfence. It was from one of Madam Paris's Ladies, in which the acquainted him, that, the draught he had fent her being intantly paid, the fet out dießlly for Mag feilles, where he was that moment arrived, at fuch an inn, in fuch a street, and there waited, with the utmost impatience, for the joy of clafping him with rapture to her bofom;' to which the added fome expreffions, that were rather more tender than decent, and ends with figning herfelf, his ever affectionate, Fatime.' The knowledge that he was going to keep a mistress in form, that it was a premeditated thing, and that that mistress was a pupil of mother Paris's, were circumstances of the most alarming nature; and I forefaw that this connexion would infallibly be the ruin both of himself and me. I remained fome time abforbed in thought, confidering what to do; at laft I reflved to re-feal the letter, and, as foon as he came home, I prefented it to him. On his breaking it open I faw him look confufed, but having recovered a little from his furprife, This letter, my dear, faid he is about business of confe quence; I mut, therefore, go to the perfons with whom it is to be tranfacted, and shall probably not be able to return to dinner:' So fay ng, he put on his hat, made me a low bow, and, with a smile, went out. I was now left alone to ruminate, at leifure, on the horrors of my fate; and from this period, during a series of fome months, I never faw him but he was either in liquor, or in fuch a ftate of low spirits and ill-humour, as rendered it impoffible for me either to do or fay any thing to pleate him; nay, I often thought, that the very fight of me irritated his bile, and made him crofs; and, perhaps, that might be the reafon why he was fo much from me; for he very feldom lay at home, and, unless fometimes by chance, I hardly ever spent a quarter of an hour in his company. The fecond event was owing to the arrival at Marteilles, on his road to Italy, of a young English Nobleman, of an agreeable figure and genteel addrets: I had known him a boy in England; he claimed acquaintance with me, and, in confequence, paid me a vilt, which Mr. Williams returned, and affured his Lordship, that both himfelf and wife would always be glad of the honour of his company; accordingly, he came very often to our houfe, both by invitation and without. I obferved, that Mr. Williams affcted to leave his Lord fhip and me together as much as poffible, and would even frequently find an excufe for being from home, when he had invited this young Nobleman to dinner, which I knew nothing of, till I faw him enter the room. A repetition of this fort of behaviour began to fhock me, as I thought I faw by it, that my my husband wifhed me to have an intrigue, or at leaft the reputation of having one, with this young Gentleman. Alarmed by this fufpicion, I determined to be upon my guard; in order to which, I gave orders, the next day, that I would never be at home to Lord, but when Mr. Williams was at home. By this means, his Lordship had been frequently refused the door; when one day my husband faid to me, I am juft come from Lord who complains much, that you are always out.' Then, looking at me, he added: How happens this, Madam?' I replied: It is very eafily accounted for, Sir; fince your being always out makes me careful of the vinters I receive at home; and I have therefore determined to admit none but those who are of my own fex, when you are abfent, that I may, at leaft, not draw upon myself the cenfure of the world.' My God, what a prude you are grown! (exclaimed he.) A few days after this, Mr. Williams told me, that Lord would fup with us that evening: And, in order not to wound your fuperlative delicacy, Madam, (fays he) I will moft certainly be at home. In the afternoon Lord came, according to appointment; and Mr. Williams was at home to receive him. The former part of the evening paffed agreeably enough, till, unfortunately, I happened to have the headach, and foolishly faid, laying my hand upon my forehead, Good God, 1 with my head was off, it aches fo, that it makes me quite ftupid!' God forbid, exclaimed Lord -,) I would not have it hurt for a thousand pounds; there are very few to be found fo well conftructed as it is. I fmilingly replied, Your Lordship is very obliging, to fet fo great a value upon it. Hereupon Mr. Williams obferved, That he did not believe any woman's head could be worth five pounds; and that their whole perfon could never amount to the value of the fum his Lordfhip had fet upon my head only. This, he faid, laughing. My Lord replied, in the fame tone, Why Mr. Williams, I am fure you would not be willing to to part with your Lady for a thousand pounds, though you would feem to hold her in fo little eftimation." Indeed, my Lord, but I would, (answered Mr. Williams) and that with all my heart; as I, at present want money, much more than I do my wife. The manner in which my husband spoke thefe words piqued me to the foul; and I felt my cheeks glow with refentment and indignation: I faid nothing, however; but, arising from ny feat, went to the window. You would be very forry to be taken at your word,' (faid Lord to Mr. Williams, continuing the conversation.) Not in the leaft, (replied the latter) and, as a proof that I am in earneft, I will, this moment, ring for pen, ink, and paper, and confirm, under my hand, the exchange I offer you. He then rang the bell; Lord looked furprised, yet still (I believe) thought him in joke. When the fervant brought the paper, &c. Mr. Williams faid, ‹ Well, my Lord, do you draw upon your banker for a thousand pounds, and I will give you a formal renunciation of all my right and title to the perfon of my wife in your favour, to which I will fet my hand and feal;' which accordingly he did; and Lord-prefented him with the draught for the money. But how was I amazed, when I faw Mr. Williams put the note into his pocket, and, advancing towards me, take my hand, which he immediately attempted to put into Lord As to you, -'s, faying, There, Madan, I refign you to that Gentleman, hoping that he will make you a better husband than I have done.' I drew my hand, with precipitation, from him, and, looking in his face with an air of anger and contempt, faid, Bafe and inhuman man; you have, indeed, ruined both my peace and fortune, but my honour's my own, and, whilft I preferve it unfullied, I flatter myself that it will raise me above your infolent ufage of me, as well as the bafe machinations, you have, and may hereafter make ufe of in order to level me with yourself, and your dirty connexions. my Lord, (I faid, turning to him) I am fenfible, that, as a man of gallantry, you could not refufe a Lady, when the was offered to you; I therefore have no repr aches to make you upon the fubject, especially as I have a right to hope, that your Lordship's opinion of me was of a nature, not to adinit of a thought injurious to my honour; I therefore fuppofe, that you looked upon the fcene as ridiculous; I shall moft certainly take care, that your draught for the money fhall be returned to you to-morrow morning, and I beg your Lord hip will oblige me, by not fuffering any part of this foolish, unguarded action, of Mr. Williams, to tranpire. He gave me his word of honour that he would not; and then, with a refpotful bow, prefented me with my husband's deed of conveyance of me to his Lordship; at the fame time protefting to me, That a right over my perfon, without having an in-, tereft in my heart, was an honour to wach he had never afpired; he therefore begged leave to affure me, that he had never prefum-t ed to have a thought which could give the fin left wound to my delicacy; adding, tha |