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Nest. What says Ulysses ?
Ulyss. I have a young conception in my brain; Be you my time to bring it to some shape.
Nest. What is 't ?
Ulyss. This 't is.
Well, and how ?
Nest. The purpose is perspicuous even as substance,
Uyss. And wake him to the answer, think you ?
1 Yes : in folio.
What heart receives from hence the conquering part,
Ulyss. Give pardon to my speech:-
Nest. Now I begin to relish thy advice;
[Exeunt. I get to show:in folio. 2 Shall show the better : in folio. 8 wear: in folio. As the worthier. 6 Set on.
SCENE I.--Another Part of the Grecian Camp.
Enter AJAX and THERSITES. Ajax. Thersites!
Ther. Agamemnon-how if he had boils ? full, all over, generally ?
Ajax. Thersites !
Ther. And those boils did run ?-Say so,-did not the general run then ? were not that a botchy sore ?
Ther. Then would come some matter from him: I see none now.
Ajax. Thou bitch-wolf's son, canst thou not hear ? Feel then.
[Strikes him. Ther. The plague of Greece upon thee, thou mongrel beef-witted lord !
Ajax. Speak then, thou vinewd'st? leaven, speak: I will beat thee into handsomeness.
Ther. I shall sooner rail thee into wit and holiness : but, I think, thy horse will sooner con an oration, than thou learn a prayer without book. Thou canst strike, canst thou ? a red murrain o'thy jade's tricks !
Ajax. Toads-stool, learn me the proclamation.
Ther. Dost thou think I have no sense, thou strik'st me thus ?
Ajax. The proclamation,
Ther. I would, thou didst itch from head to foot, and I had the scratching of thee; I would make thee the loathsomest scab in Greece.When thou art forth in the incursions, thou strikest as slow as another.
Ajax. I say, the proclamation,
Ther. Thou grumblest and railest every hour on Achilles ; and thou art as full of envy at his greatness, as Cerberus is at Proserpina's beauty, ay, that thou barkest at him.
Ajax. Mistress Thersites !
Ajax. Cobloaf! ' Most mouldy. 2 The rest of the speech is only in the quartos :
Ther. He would pun' thee into shivers with his fist, as a sailor breaks a biscuit. Ajax. You whoreson cur !
[Beating him. Ther. Do, do. Ajax. Thou stool for a witch !
Ther. Ay, do, do; thou sodden-witted lord ! thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows; an assinego? may tutor thee : thou scurvy valiant ass! thou art here but to thrash Trojans; and thou art bought and sold among those of any wit, like a Barbarian slave. If thou use to beat me, I will begin at thy heel, and tell what thou art by inches, thou thing of no bowels, thou !
Ajax. You dog!
[Beating him. Ther. Mar's idiot! do, rudeness; do, camel; do, do.
Enter ACHILLES and PATROCLUS.
Ther. You see him there, do you?
Ther. But yet you look not well upon him; for, whosoever you take him to be, he is Ajax.
Achil. I know that, fool.
Ther. Lo, lo, lo, lo, what modicums of wit he utters ! his orations have ears thus long. I have bobbed his brain, more than he has beat my bones : I will buy nine sparrows for a penny, and his pia mater is not worth the ninth part of a sparrow. This lord, Achilles, Ajax, who wears his wit in his belly, and his guts in his head, I'll tell you what I say of him.
1 Pound. 2 A small ass.
Ther. As will stop the eye of Helen's needle, for whom he comes to fight.
Achil. Peace, fool!
Ther. I would have peace and quietness, but the fool will not : he there ; that he, look you there.
Ajax. 0, thou damned cur! I shall-
Ajax. I bade the vile owl go learn me the tenour of the proclamation, and he rails upon me.
Ther. I serve thee not.
Achil. Your last service was sufferance, 't was not voluntary; no man is beaten voluntary: Ajax was here the voluntary, and you as under an impress.
Ther. Even so ?-a great deal of your wit, too, lies in your sinews, or else there be liars. Hector shall have a great catch, if he knock out either of your brains: he were as good crack a fusty nut with no kernel.
Achil. What, with me too, Thersites?
Ther. There's Ulysses, and old Nestor,-whose wit was mouldy ere your grandsires had nails on their toes, -yoke you like draught oxen, and make you plough up the war. Achil. What? what? Ther. Yes, good sooth : to Achilles ! to Ajax! toAjax. I shall cut out your tongue.
Ther. 'T is no matter; I shall speak as much as thou, afterwards.
Patr. No more words, Thersites; peace !
Ther. I will hold my peace when Achilles' brach' bids me,
shall I? Achil. There 's for you, Patroclus.
Ther. I will see you hanged, like clotpoles, ere I come any more to your tents: I will keep where there is wit stirring, and leave the faction of fools. [Excit.
Patr. A good riddance.