A mighty and a fearful head they are, K. Henry. The earl of Westmoreland set forth to-day; The Boar's-bead Tavern in East-cheap. Enter Falstaff, and Bardolph. Fal. Bardolph, am I not fallen away vilely since this last action ? do I not bate ? do I not dwindle ? why, my skin hangs about me like an old lady's loose gown; I am wither'd like an old apple-John. Well, I'll repent, and that suddenly, while I am in some liking; I shall be out of heart shortly, and then I shall have no strength to repent. An I have not forgotten what the inside of a church is made of, I am a pepper-corn, ” a brewer's horse; the inside of a church !—Company, villainous company, hath been the spoil of me. Bard. Sir John, you are so fretful, you cannot live long. by which account, our bufiness valued, ]—according to this calculation of our affairs. a brewer's borse ;]-the cross beam, whereon beer barrels are sufpended for the casier carriage. Fal, M m 3 Fal. Why, there is it :-come, sing me a bawdy song, to make me merry. I was as virtuously given, as a gen. tleman need to be ; virtuous enough : swore little; dic'd, not above seven times a week; went to a bawdy-house, not above once in a quarter of an hour; paid money that I borrow'd, three or four times; liy'd well, and in good compass : and now I live out of all order, out of all compass. Bard. Why, you are so fat, fir John, that you must needs be out of all compass ; out of all reasonable com, pass, fir John. Fal. Do thou amend thy face, and I'll amend my life : Thou art our admiral, thou bearest the lanchorn in the poop,—but 'tis in the nose of thee; thou art the knight of the burning lamp. Bard. Why, fir John, my face does you no harm. Fal. No, I'll be sworn; I make as good use of it as many a man doth of a death's head, or a memento mori: I never see thy face, but I think upon hell-fire, and Dives that lived in purple; for there he is in his robes, burning, burning. If thou wert any way given to virtue, I would swear by thy face; my oath should be, By this fire : but thou art altogether given over ; and wert indeed, but for the light in thy face, the fun of utter darkness. When thou ran'lt up Gads-hill in the night to catch my horse, if I did not think thou hadít been an ignis fatuus, or a ball of wild-fire, there's no purchase in money. O, thou art a perpetual "triumph, an 'everlasting bonfire light! Thou haft saved me a thousand marks in links and torches, walking with chee in the night betwixt tavern and tavern: but the fack that thou hast drunk me, would have bought me triumpb,)- splendid state show, lights ° as good cheap, at the dearest chandler's in Europe. I have maintained that salamander of yours with fire, any time this two and thirty years; Heaven reward me for it! Bard. 'Sblood, I would my face were in your belly ! Fal. God-a-mercy! so should I be sure to be heartburn'd. Do you Enter Hotels. How now, dame Partlet the hen ? have you enquir'd yet, who pick'd my pocket? Hoft. Why, fir John! what do you think, fir John ? think I keep thieves in my house? I have search’d, I have enquir’d, so has my husband, man by man, boy by boy, servant by servant : the tithe of a hair was never lost in my house before. Fal, You lie, hostess; Bardolph'was shav’d, and lost many a hair : and I'll be sworn, my pocket was pick'd : Go to, you are a woman, go. Hoft. Who I? I defy thee: I was never call'd so in mine own house before. Fal. Go to, I know you well enough. Hoft. No, sir John ; you do not know me, fir John: I know you, fir John: you owe me money, fir John, and now you pick a quarrel to beguile me of it: I bought you a dozen of shirts to your back. Fal. Dowlas, filthy dowlas : I have given them away to bakers' wives, and they have made bolters of them. Hoft. Now, as I am a true woman, holland of eight Thillings an ell. You owe money here besides, sir John, for your diet, and by-drinkings; and money lent you, four and twenty pounds. Fal. He had his part of it; let him pay. as good cheap,]—as good a pennyworth, at as easy a rate, upon as moderate terms, Hoft. M m 4 Hoft. He? alas, he is poor; he hath nothing. Fal. How! poor? look upon his face ; What call you rich ? let them ' coin his nose, let them coin his cheeks; I'll not pay a denier. What, I will you make a younker of me? shall I not 'take minę ease in mine inn, but I shall have my pocket pick'd ? I have lost a seal-ring of my grandfather's, worth forty mark. Hoft. O, I have heard the prince tell him, I know not how oft, the ring was 'copper. Fal. How! the prince is a Jack, a sneak-cup; and, if he were here, I would cudgel him like a dog, if he would say so. Enter Prince Henry, and Poins, marching; and Falstaff meets them, playing on bis truncheon, like a fife. Fal. How now, lad ? is the wind in that door, i'faith? muft we all march? Bard. Yea, two and two, Newgate-fashion. P. Henry. What say'st thou, mistress Quickly? How does thy husband? I love him well, he is an honest man. Hoft. Good my lord, hear me. Fal. The other night I fell asleep here behind the arras, and had my pocket pick'd: this house is turn'd bawdyhouse, they pick pockets. P. Henry. What didst thou lose, Jack ? Fal. Wilt thou believe me, Hal? three or four bonds p coin his nose,]-the actors of such characters, whose noses were a standing joke, wore artificial ones. I will you make a younker of me?)-do you mean to gull me? take mine ease in mine inn,)-leep securely; alluding to the old maxim, “ Every man's boule is bis cafile.” 5. copper. ]-fuch rings, thinly placed with gold, were common about the time mentioned. of of forty pound a-piece, and a seal-ring of my grandfather's. P. Henry. A trifle, fome eight-penny matter. Hoft. So I told him, my lord ; and I said, I heard your grace say so: And, my lord, he speaks most vilely of you, like a foul-mouth'd man as he is; and said, he would cudgel you. P. Henry. What! he did not? Hoft. There's neither faith, truth, nor woman-hood in me else. Fal. There's no more faith in thee than in 'a stew'd prune ; nor no more truth in thee, than in a drawn fox; and for woman-hood, maid Marian may be the deputy's wife of the ward to thee. Go, you thing, go. Hoft. Say, what thing? what thing? Hoft. I am no thing to thank God on, I would thou should'st know it; I am an honest man's wife : and, setting thy knighthood aside, thou art a knave to call me so. Fal. Setting thy womanhood aside, thou art a beast to say otherwise. Hoft. Say, what beast, thou knave thou ? Fal. Why? The's neither fish, nor fesh; a man knows not where to have her. Hoft. Thou art an unjust man in saying so; thou or any man knows where to have me, thou knave thou! I aftew'd prune; ]-whose insipidity belies its appearance. a drawn fox;]-a dead one, drawn over the grounds for the ex. ercise of the dogs, who are deceived by its scent. w woman-bood, maid Marian may be ibe deputy's wife of the ward to thee. ]—'tis very questionable--the name of Robin Hood's mistress; the lady of the May, or Morris dance, generally represented by a man. P. Henry. |