MEMOIRS OF THE MACAW OF A LADY OF QUALITY.' DICTATED BY HIMSELF, AND EDITED BY LADY MORGAN. THE Honorable George Fitzforward and myself arrived, on a fine May evening, in a gloomy little street in the heart of London, and took possession of a very humble lodging. The want of comfort, cleanliness, and fresh air, was the more remarkable for its contrast with the sumptuous rural palaces which we had lately visited. This was my master's habitual abode when in town. Here he slept, but he might be said to live in his cab; and he left his address at the Club. My delicate organs took offence at all that surrounded me; and, above all, at a fat, dirty Irish maid, whose odor and aspect were, alike, my antipathy. The first night, as she lighted us up to our room, I cried out contemptuously, "Get along out of that!" She turned on me with a look of astonishment and vindictiveness, which I shall never forget, exclaiming, "Get along out of that yourself, you dirty spalpeen! It is you, and the likes of you, that takes the bread out of honest people's mouths, you furreign baste, you!" To all this tirade, I slowly rolled out from my closed beak a reiteration of the offensive-" Get along out of that! She turned in concentrated rage to Midge, who stood laughing till his sides shook, and said, "Troth, I'll lave my mark on your poll-parrot, before he quits the place:-now, mind my words, Mr. Midge." Mr. Midge did mind them; and he was so persuaded of the sincerity of the threat, that he always locked me up on going out; and as this was every day, and for the whole day, I became a state-prisoner, for the indiscretion of a single phrase, as many a too-demonstrative genius has done before me. Silent, desolate, and neglected, left for days without food, except what I picked up at Midge's breakfast, for my master always breakfasted at his Club, my natural cheerfulness faded into sullen gloom; and all the miserable consequences of my foolish and ill-directed ambition came upon me, with vain regret and deep remorse. When I recalled the brilliant region I had abandoned, the magnificent forest-home I had left, the proud position I held among my own species, the joyous sensations that then thrilled through my whole being, resulting from the happy and natural state of things in which I was placed,-and when I compared all this with the gloom, solitude, close atmosphere, and privation of light and liberty of my present condition, I was overwhelmed with misery and despair. This was perhaps the most painful period of my checkered existence; and it was forcibly recalled to my recollection the other day, while hearing my Lady's page read aloud the discovery of my native hemisphere, and the kidnapping of the noble and happy savages by that great man, who brought them in chains to Spain, because (says the author) he saw in them that which would make them "worthy members of the Church, and loyal subjects of the King." I was struck with the parallel between their fate and my own. The mild and benevolent chiefs of the Bahamas must have felt, on their arrival at Madrid, something as I felt on my arrival at London; but their misfortunes arose from their virtues. Never

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would they have been chained, and tortured, and occasionally roasted, had they not possessed those talents and qualities, which rendered them worthy of the notice of Church and State. I indeed had no such utilities-I was neither loyal, nor devout by nature. My little gleam of reason had only served to lead me astray; and every acquirement I had made, every word I uttered, to my last attack upon Irish Molly, had been the source of my ill-luck, and the cause of my suffering. Had I not been more intelligent than my species, more prone to fun, and inclined to laugh at the follies of others than to correct my own, I might have been the happiest of macaws. Owls, boobies, and buzzards-how I envied you your organic deficiencies! To add to the misery of the epoch to which I now allude, the moulting season came on: I pined and sickened, my crest fell, my feathers dropped, my sufferings were acute, beyond what the egotism of man, who thinks that none suffer but himself, could imagine. I was soon reduced to a skeleton, and looked like a scarecrow. All my intelligence fell into abeyance. My mind was gone; my speech was inarticulate; and my memory failed me. The only phrase I could remember, was one taught me by my great-grandfather in my infancy, Povero papagay;' and this I repeated in every tone of complaint and self-commiseration. My master came home so late at night, that he scarcely observed me; and Midge, when he at last perceived the change in my appearance, accused Irish Molly of poisoning me. But I proved the falseness of the charge by my convalescence. Youth and strength triumphed; and I was beginning to recover my spirits and speech, when, one evening, my master returned home earlier than usual, and so changed in appearance, as to strike even me; I thought that he too was moulting. Midge had not yet come in; and Irish Molly had lighted the Honorable George to his room with a dirty tallow-candle, which she placed on the table before him. He sat pale and shivering, and endeavouring to stir up the dead embers in the hearth; but they were extinct. Here was another aristocratic scion no better off than myself. allowed even by the enemies of our race, the heaven-born haters of macaws and parrots, that we are extremely susceptible of kindness and unkindness; that we love and hate intensely; and that we are capable of the most devoted attachment to our masters, as long as they show us any signs of friendship; but that when deprived of their attention and caresses, we become sensible of their neglect, irritable, ill-humored, and vindictive, if provoked by their capricious notice, or idle tricks. This was my present position with my master. As he could not bring me to his Club, and was always afraid of having his shabby home discovered, he had no longer the same occasion for my amusing qualities; and having once bitten his finger in jealous irritability, when he began to teaze me, after a week's neglect, I fell into utter disgrace-or rather, no longer wanted, I was no longer remembered. His suffering appearance, and desolate situation, however, as he sat sighing and moaning, and putting his hand to his forehead, awoke all my former sympathies. I descended from my perch, gradually approached him, and cowering and creeping round him, endeavoured to offer consolation through every pathetic tone and phrase I knew, uttering alternately Povero papagay,' 'Poor Poll,'' Poor Pat.' My master smiled, patted my head, and

It is

said with bitterness, "Add poor younger brother, Poll." "Poor younger brother," I replied, fluttering my wings, and perching on his arm. My master laid me gently on the table, and covering his face with his hands, wept bitterly. The entrance of Midge roused him. He hurried into the slovenly little bed-chamber at the back of his drawing-room, shut the door, and appeared no more that night. The next day, all was bustle in the little drawing-room. My master kept his bed; I heard his moans: Midge, the laudlady, and Irish Molly, held a conference; and shortly afterwards arrived an animal, which, to my fancy, had a close affinity with the jackdaw. He was all black and white, with an erect head, and a jerking gait, a pert solemnity of look, and a crafty dulness of aspect, which perfectly impersonated that ill-omened bird which had always been my favorite aversion. I was shocked at the appearance of this creature. I remembered that the occurrence of a jackdaw was considered at the Propaganda as the sign of approaching death, and that three of them portended a funeral. I trembled for my poor master, and took my station near the head of his bed, from which neither threats nor caresses could detach me. I soon gathered that he was not moulting, but sick of some disorder caught in the bogs of Ireland. I endeavoured to make myself as amusing and consolatory as possible. I repeated all his complainings; I chattered at the jackdaw, and frequently anticipated his wonted questions, to his great annoyance. I was particularly pleased with a phrase, which my master, in his impatience, had more than once applied to him, when ordered to swallow some horrible black stuff: "I'll not touch a drop of it; he is an old quack, and a regular humbug." I repeated after him, "He is an old quack, and a regular humbug." "So he is, Poll," said my master, laughing for the first time since his illness, from which he was now recovering in spite of the jackdaw and the black-draughts. When able to leave his bed, he carried me on his arm into the little drawing-room, placed me on the back of his chair, and I had the distinction of sharing his first chicken, and pecking at his grapes. My attention during his illness had quite replaced me in his affections, or at least among his resouries. A few days afterwards Midge was sent with a note to the Horse-Guards; and immediately after his return, he was followed by one of the prettiest young human animals I had ever seen. He was announced by the name of Mr. Alfred Mount Martre. appearance quite dazzled me! at first I took him for a noble specimen of the scarlet flamingo-the same erect bearing, the same brilliant colours, the same gentle look in the eyes, yet warlike aspect. Of all the ornithological world, I was best acquainted, after my own tribe, with the flamingo, with which we macaws thought we had something in common. The flamingo is in its nature gentle and brave, and full of confidence and trust in the whole living creation, till civilised man teaches it better, and forces it to become ferocious and wary in its own defence. From the moment these birds become acquainted with that great enemy of creation, whose voca

His

Willoughby tells us of a parrot which had grown old with its master, and shared with him the infirmities of age. Being accustomed to hear nothing but the words I am sick," when a person asked it "How do you do, Poll?" it replied in a doleful tone, and stretching itself along, "I am sick."-Animal Biography.

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tion is to enslave or to destroy, the flamingos keep together in troops, place a sentinel to watch the approach of the foe, and send forth a note of danger, which is their natural war-trumpet. Social and gay when at peace, they are only pugnacious when aroused by danger or insult. When young, they are easily caught, and carried away, upon slight temptation; but they catch in their turn when more experienced, and many of the prettiest little birds of the tropics become their victims. My heart warmed to this human flamingo, who stood armed cap-à-pied before my master. He said he was on guard at the palace, and had but a quarter of an hour to stay. In that quarter of an hour, my master poured forth his confidence to him, and gave a brief history of his adventures, from his joining the regiment at Kil-mac-squabble till his arrival in town. They had been school-fellows at Harrow, whence both of them had proceeded to finish their education in that house of refuge for the destitute'—the army; the one in a regiment of the line, the other in the Life-Guards. Each had an hundred and fifty pounds a-year for his ménus plaisirs, and an occasional ten guineas from grand-mamas for clean glovesa luxury not always within the reach of younger brothers. These were their own words in the course of their mutual auto-biographic confessions; and having once dropped into that great preserve-my memory, they were never forgotten. "Your grade as a life-guardsman, places you beyond the reach of social degradation," continued my master; "and sister, Lady Augusta, takes care of your with the exclusives. But since my late arrival in London, I have never got further than a Dowager dinner in Portman Square, or a second rate rout made up of the sweepings of the porter's book. For it is one thing to be let in to the dull circles of country houses on the strength of family connexions, and another to have the entré in that very refined society from which ambitious fashion will even exclude a father that is a bore, or a mother that dresses ill-In short," he said, almost choking with emotion, "my position in London is too painful; and unless I can do something to extricate myself from obscurity, I shall not stay out my leave of absence, but return at once to still-hunting and the typhus in Ireland, as a matter of preference." "But cawnt you do something to announce yourself?" drawled out the flamingo," Cawnt you write a book, or something?” “Write a book !-I can scarcely read one-besides, what could I write about?" "Oh! I rather fancy that don't much signify. Lord Frederick says, his publisher will bring out any thing by an Honorable :-he does not in the least care what trash it is; it puffs and sells all the same." Still, one must have that trash; and since I left Harrow, I have seen nothing in Ireland but bogs and beggars." "Well, but arn't that vastly funny?-The Irish, you know, are so droll and merry!" "Droll and merry!-poor wretches, about as merry as the nightmare. Where I am quartered, they are wandering about like spectres, and living upon roots and nettles, which they find in the ditches." "Indeed! How very tiresome!" "Poor Pat! I am quite sorry I re-echoed in my deepest tone of pathos, delighted to have an opportunity of making myself known to the flamingo. "Poor Pat !— Why what the devil's that?" said the flamingo, turning about in

"" "Poor Pat!"

"Oh! that's only the macaw."

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surprise. Only the macaw !” said the flamingo rising, and patting my head, which I bent forward to his delicate hand. "What a treasure!-What can he do?" "Do! not a great deal; but he can say every thing; and is much more amusing and intelligent than half the subalterns of ours, I can tell you-My poor macaw," he added, with a deep sigh, was my only friend and comforter in my recent illness." "By Jove! and with such a bird as this you want to be ticketted !-Why, Colonel O'Kelly, you know, went upon the reputation of his parrot for twenty years; and Mrs. Doldrum, I heard my mother say, would never have got on, but for her wonderful bullfinch, which went through the swordexercise with a straw. Even last week, all the world were making interest to get into house, where the learned pig was exhibited, and threw the opera into neglect: and Lady 's delightful soirées owed every thing to Le Compte's canaries." My master laughed" Oh! then, you think I may get into fashion under the patronage of my macaw? That did very well in the country; but in London, Poll is of as little consequence as myself." "Why, you know, there are so many Fitzforwards of three generations, that you must have something to distinguish you if you mean to get on, and the parrot, properly brought out, will do as well as anything-For instance, if I was to mention you, and was asked which of all the Fitzforwards you are, it would be something to be enabled to say, 'the macaw Fitzforward,' just as one says Poodle Beryl,' Parrot O'Kelly,' or 'Jerusalem Whaley.' My master was silent for a moment, and then said, smilingly, "But who is to present Polly to this discerning world?-How is she to get into fashion herself in order to introduce her master?" "Leave that to me: I'll go this moment to my old friend the Countess of and puff Poll to the skies as a lion of the first quality. You will get an invite to her first pink parties; and once booked there, your business is done." My master laughed, and turned the thing into a joke; but it was evident that the proposition had made a due impression; for, after the young guardsman's departure, he actually put me through all my manœuvres, aired my vocabulary, rehearsed my Savoyard dance, exercised my slang, and added to my fashionable acquirements by teaching me to go through the manual of smoking a cigar, which I held in my claw with the air of a Pacha. All this amused my poor master amazingly, and procured me caresses and luxuries to which I had long been a stranger. The next day he even took me with him in his cab to the Park. As I sat smoking my cigar beside him, every eye followed us; and we soon became the sole objects of attraction. An hundred bright eyes shone on us through their lorgnettes, and the flamingo riding up to us said, "All the world are inquiring who you are: Lady J- has just observed to De R that since Lord Byron and his bear, there has been nothing seen so odd and original as that man and his macaw. I have promised to present you to her. The cigar was a great hit.-Oh! here comes my CountessI have done the needful for you there; and I see she has found you and Poll out already." A coronetted carriage drove up beside the cab, and a fair and fashionable-looking old lady, putting out her head with a nod and an air of familiar acquaintance, said, "How do