The man is partly woman, likewise she
Is partly man, and yet in face they be
Full as prodigious as in parts; the twin
That is most man, yet in the face and skin
Is all mere woman: that which most doth take
From weaker woman, nature seems to make
A man in show, thereby as to define,
A feminine man, a woman masculine,
Before bred nor begot; a more strange thing
That ever Nile yet into light could bring,
Made as creation merely to despite,

Nor man, nor woman, scarce hermaphrodite.
Afric, that's said, mother of monsters is,
Let her but show me such a one as this,
And then I will subscribe (to do her due)
And swear that what is said of her is true."
Quoth one, ""Tis monstrous, and for nothing fit;
And, for a monster, quick let's bury it."
"Nay," quoth another, "rather make provision,
If possible, to part it by incision,

For were it parted, for ought I can see,

Both man and woman it may seem to be."

Nay," quoth a third, "that must be done with cost,

And were it done our labour is but lost:

For when w' have wrought the utmost that we can,
He's too much woman, and she's too much man :
Therefore, as 'tis a most prodigious birth,
Let it not live here to pollute the earth."
"Gossip," quoth the last, "your reason I deny,
Tis more by law than we can justify;
For sire and dam have certainly decreed,

That they will have more comfort of their seed:

For he begot it, and 'twas born of her,
And out of doubt they will their own prefer.
Therefore, good women, better be advis'd;
For precious things should not be lightly priz'd.
This Moon-Calf, born under a lucky fate,

May powr'ful prove in many a wealthy state :
And, taught the tongues, about some few years
hence

(As now we're all tongue, and but little sense)
It may fall out, for any thing you know,

This Moon-Calf may on great employments go;
When learned men, for noble action fit,
Idly at home (unthought of once) may sit;
A bawd, or a projector, he may prove,
And by his purse so purchasing him love,
May be exalted to some thriving room,
Where seldom good men suffer'd are to come.
What will you say, hereafter when you see
The times so graceless and so mad to be,
That men their perfect human shape shall fly,
To imitate this beast's deformity?

Nay, when you see this monster, which you now
Will hardly breath upon the Earth allow,

In his caroche with four white Friezlands drawn, And he as py'd and garish as the pawn,

With a set face, in which, as in a book,

He thinks the world for grounds of state should

look,

When to some greater one, whose might doth awe

him,

[him?

He's known a verier jade than those that draw

Nay, at the last, the very killing sight,

To see this Calf (as Virtue to despite)

Above just honest men his head to rear,
Nor to his greatness may they once come near?"
Each ignorant sot, to honour seeks to rise;
But as for Virtue, who did first devise

That title, a reward for her to be,

As most contemned and despised she,

Goes unregarded, that they who should own her, Dare not take notice ever to have known her: And but that Virtue, when she seemeth thrown Lower than Hell, hath power to raise her own Above the World, and this her monstrous birth, She long ere this had perish'd from the Earth; Her fautors banish'd by her foes so high,

Which look so big, as they would scale the sky.

But seeing no help, why should I thus complain? Then to my Moon-Calf I return again, By his dear dam the World so choicely bred, To whom there is such greatness promised; For it might well a perfect man amaze,

To see what means the sire and dam will raise
T'exalt their Moon-Calf, and him so to cherish,
That he shall thrive when virtuous men shall perish.
The drunkard, glutton, or who doth apply
Himself to beastly sensuality,

Shall get him many friends, for that there be
Many in every place just such as he.

The evil love them that delight in ill;

Like have cleav'd to their like, and ever will.
But the true virtuous man (God knows) hath few :
They that his straight and harder steps pursue,
Are a small number scarcely known of any;
"God hath few friends, the Devil hath so many."
But to return, that ye may plainly see,

That such a one he likely is to be,

And that my words for truth that ye may try,
Of the World's babe, thus do I prophesy :

Mark but the more man of these monstrous twins,
From his first youth, how tow'rdly he begins!
When he should learn, being learn'd to leave the
school,

This arrant Moon-Calf, this most beastly fool,
Just to our English proverb shall be seen,
"Scarcely so wise at fifty, as fifteen :"

And when himself he of his home can free,
He to the city comes, where then if he,
And the familiar butterfly his page,

Can pass the street, the ord'nary, and stage,
It is enough; and he himself thinks then
To be the only absolut'st of men.

Then in his cups you shall not see him shrink,

To the grand devil a carouse to drink.
Next to his whore he doth himself apply;
And to maintain his goatish luxury,

Eats capons cook'd at fifteen crowns a piece,
With their fat bellies stuff'd with ambergrise.
And being to travel, he sticks not to lay
His post-caroches still upon his way:
And in some six days' journey doth consume
Ten pounds in suckets and the Indian fume.
For his attire, then foreign parts are sought,
He holds all vile in England that is wrought;
And into Flanders sendeth for the nonce,
Twelve dozen of shirts providing him at once,
Lay'd in the seams with costly lace, that be
Of the smock fashion, whole above the knee;
Then bathes in milk, in which when he hath been,
He looks like one for the preposterous sin,

Put by the wicked and rebellious Jews
To be a pathic in their male-kind stews.

With the ball of's foot the ground he may not

feel,

But he must tread upon his toe and heel:

Doublet and cloke, with plush and velvet lin❜d;
Only his head-piece, that is fill'd with wind.
Rags, running horses, dogs, drabs, drink, and dice,
The only things that he doth hold in price :
Yet more than these, naught doth him so delight,
As doth his smooth-chinn'd plump-thigh'd cata-
mite.

Sodom for her great sin that burning sank,
Which at one draught the pit infernal drank,
Which that just God on Earth could not abide,
Hath she so much the devils terrify'd,

As from their seat them will near to exile,
Hath Hell new spew'd her up after this while ?
Is she new risen, and her sin agen
Embrac'd by beastly and outrageous men?
Nay, more, he jests at incest, as therein
There were no fault, counts sacrilege no sin :
His blasphemies he useth for his grace,
Wherewith he truth doth oftentimes outface:
He termeth virtue madness, or mere folly;
He hates all high things, and profanes all holy.
Where is thy thunder, God, art thou asleep?
Or to what suffering hand giv'st thou to keep
Thy wrath and vengeance? where is now the
strength

Of thy almighty arm, fails it at length?
Turn all the stars to comets, to out-stare

The Sun at noon-tide, that he shall not dare
To look but like a glow-worm, for that he
Can without melting these damnations see.