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affected with the beauty and excellency of religion ; a fronte desire fprung up in my soul, and I prayed carnestly, and with some measure of hope, that the Lord would make me a Chriftian indeed.

About this time, the Lord was pleased to visit our family with the rod of affli&ion. My lifter was the firl that died, then my mother, and afterwards two servants. On the ninth day of my sister's illness, she called the family together, and faid,

Weep not for me, for I am not afraid to die. I am going to my Jesus, who will do more for me than any of you can do.' She then desired to be laid down, bidding us all

Farewell,” and with a smiling countenance dropt into etes. nity. These awful scenes affected me much; a melancholy gloom hung over my mind, anid 'i' frequently wept in fecrei. I was conscious I wanted something, The Spirit of the Lord often flrove with me, and melled me into tenderness; but' I knew not the way of falvation, and had no one to take me by the hand, and lead me into the narrow path. Our unhappy minister was a stranger to God, and most of his flock, 1 ans afraid, were in the way to ruim. : When I was twelve years old, I threw off all seriousness, and became as wild as the rest of my scheol-fellows From my fourteenth year, I was engaged in 4earning book-keeping, the mathematics, and astronomy. Between'ihe 17th and 18th year of my age, I left school, and entered upon business. But alas, I was fond of pleasure, and loved this world more than God. About this time the Methodists engaged the conversation of the inhabitants of Baltimore county, where I lived. I went along with others to hear thein, but the place was so crowded, I could not get in. However, from what I could understand, I thought they preached the Truth, and chint not join with the multitule in persecuting them. Not long after, the Holy Spirit began to strive again with me powerfully. One day I met a young man, who had been hearing. the Methodilts, and his serious conversation was fo engaging and edifying, that I was conftrained to believe, that there was a reality in Religion ; and that it was high time for me to seek the Lord.

Reading in Russel's Sermons, that it was highly expedient for a penitene finner to make an exact estimate of all his sins, I endeavowed to follow his advice ; and upon a careful exa-, mination, found them to be innumerable. I now began to see myself in the Gospel Glass, and was deeply affected with the discovery of-my wretchedness and loft eftate; and I promised a thorough amendment of life ; but alas, my Repentance was. like the morning dew, that quickly passeth away ; I was not truly humbled, and my Will rebelled against the Most High. One day as I was crossing a rapid Tiream, a log on

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which I had frequently gone, suddenly gave way, and I was, in the utmost jeopardy of being carried down the torrent. After struggling a while, with much difficulty I got out, altho' much wounded among the sharp rocks. This question struck my mind with great weight, “What would have become of “ your soul, if you had been drowned ?" I wept bitterly, and prayed to the Lord, under a sense of guilt. Nevertheless, my stubborn heart was not yet willing to submit to God, tho I felt a little Hell within me.

In the month of May, 1772, as I was riding down a descent, over a large broad rock, the horse threw me. With the vio. lent fall I loft my senses. Being alone, I know not how long I continued in that situation. When I recovered, I found myself on my knees, with my hands and eyes raised 10 Heaven, and crying to God for mercy. It was strongly impressed upon my mind, that if I had then died, my soul must have dropt into Hell. I praised God for my deliverance, and promised to ferve him all the days of my life. Before I arose from my knees, all the pain was removed, ard I felt nearly as well as ever I did in my life. I was sensible of the drawings of God's Spirit, and, in a measure, faw the amiableness of Jesus ; and was determined, through Grace, to follow him in the way of regeneration.

I now procured the best religious books I.could met with; particularly the writings of Mr. Hervey, the Travels of True Godlines, Allein's Alarm, &c. for as yet I had not seen any of Mr. Welley's publications. As I lived a retired life, I fréquently read, prayed, and wept till after midnight; and often Telired into the woods for

prayer and meditation. My name began to be cast out as evil, although I was ashamed to let any one know the exercises of my mind; and in order to conceal them, when in company, I have too often grieved the Holy Spirit, by joining in trifling conversation ; for I was much afraid of being thought a hypocrite. However convictions ftill followed me, and I attended ftrictly to the duties of the family over which I was placed. As yet I had heard very few Methodist fermons, and ihe enemy strove hard to prevent me from going among those people.

Some time after, Mr. F. A. came into our County. I went to hear him one evening. The place was much crowded, however I got to the door, and listened with attention. The word was sweeter than honey, or the honey-comb; I could have tarried there till the riling of the sun. I returned home with gladness, fully persuaded that he was a fervant of GOD. I followed him to another preaching-place: the discourse pe. netrated to the centre of my soul, and all the secret operations of my heart were laid open. I was ready to cry out, “ does this stranger know me lo well ?" My father was


“ How

We sat up

troubled on my account, and came to see me. talking till near midnight. “ I have no objection," said he, “ to your being religious; but why do you turn from the “ Church ?" I replied, " I have no intention of leaving the Church, but the case is really this, it is impofsible for any one in these times to be truly serious, but they will be called Methodists, and their names will be cast out as evil."

In April, 1773, my brother John was taken dangerously ill, so that his life was despaired of. , One Lord's-day, many friends came to see him, expecting every moment he would breathe his laft. I was greatly concerned on accound of his foul, having much reason to fear he was not prepared for a happy eternity. I went round to the back-part of the bed, and kneeling down, earnestly besought the Lord to bave mercy upon him, and spare him. When I arose from my knees, perceiving his lips were moving, I put my ear close to his mouth (to all appearance he was just dying) and heard him say, * Lord, thou knoweft I am unprepared to die ; have mercy • upon me, and raise me up again, and give me a longer fpace, " and I will serve thee. Thy Spirit has often frove with me, " but I have rejected thee, &c." He thus continued pleading with the Lord a considerable time. We both knew the mo. ment when the Lord answered our prayer, and granted him a gracious reprieve. I immediately informed our weeping friends, that they need not be uneasy, for the Lord would rea ftore him again. The disorder instantly turned, he fell into a doze, and within a few days, was able to walk about the room. After his recovery, I conversed with hini on the subject, and he told me, That he saw Death ;-hat he was fummoned to appear in the world of spirits;- and that it he had died at that time, Hell was his doom ;-but the Lord had lengthened his days on condition that they were devoted to his service. Some time after he experienced an entire change of heart, and enjoyed the favour and blesling of God for near three years, when he died a happy witness of perfect love.

After the recavery of my brother, the Lord was pleafed to exercise me with affliction; and I was brought nigh unto the grave. During my illness, I was in a very ftrange way; ! Jay on my bed singing praisos to God, without any fear of Death, I felt my mind perfeétly easy. I thought if I died, I hould go to Heaven. "I was even willing to die, although I did not know that my sins were forgiven; but I felt a strong hope that the Lord would save me. Who can tell what ftate my fuul was then in ?

'In the month of August following, it pleased the Lord to take my father to himself. From my carlieft knowledge, I do not remember to have heard an oath

in the family, although it gonfided of about twenty persons. And it was a rare thing


for him to correct either children or fervants, notwithstanding we food in the highest reverence of him. I often visited him during his illness, which was long and tedious; and he was much delighted with my company. I have great reason to be. lieve that he died in the Lord. The care of the family now devolving upon me, and the settlement of my father's business, I was surrounded with many difficulties and troubles, which were no help to the affairs of my soul. The enemy ftrove hard to drive away all my good desires ; but still I attended constantly to secret devotion. I contracted an intimacy with the new parish minister, who was a very clever man, of a inoral character, and much respected in the neighbourhood. I constantly attended upon his ministry, and frequently conversed with bim on religious subjects. He told me, the Me. chodifts carried matters too far ;-that a man could not know his fins were forgiven ;-and all that we could attain to, was a hope {pringing from an upright life. This doctrine exactly tallied with my experience, and was food for my fallen nature. I imbibed his sentiments and spirit, and began to seek after literary qualifications for the ministry of the Church ; and for this purpose applied myself to reading and study, often cons sulting my new counsellor. But the Spirit of the Lord, at tines, ftrove very powerfully, and I was frequently afraid that all was not well with me, especially when I was under Methodift Preaching. To these people I was drawn, but it was like death to me ; for I thought, I had rather serve God in any way than among them; at the same time something within told me that they were right. Being greatly agitated in mind, I at last concluded to give up my former pursuits, to turn all my attention to the improvement of my worldly property, and to serve God in a private manner. In consequence of this resolution, I set out in full pursuit of business, expecting to accumulate riches in abundance.

During the time of my self-secure state, I had the form of Godliness, attended the church constantly, and sometimes went to hear the Methodists: I fasted once a week, prayed frequently, frictly regarded the Sabbath, reproved open fin, and denied myself of what the world calls pleasure. T'he way that I was now in, seemed so perfectly right in my own eyes, that I thought, most certainly I should go to Heaven. any time I was overtaken in a fault, I endeavoured to mend my pace, and prayed more frequently. I cannot fay, I was entirely free from doubts; for often under the Methodist Preaching, my poor foundation was terribly fhaken; and it was feveral days before I could recover my hope. Sometimes I was tempted to think that the Methodists were a deluded people, and almost resolved to hear them no more. I stood, in a manner, between the children of God, and the children of


If at

the world; when I was with the former, I endeavoured to confute them; but when in company with their enemics, I pleaded the cause of the Methodists.

One day I happened to meet with a zealous Methodist exhorter ; he asked if I was born again. I answered, that I hoped I was. Do you know (faid he) that your sins are forgiven?"

No, I replied, neither do I expect that known ledge in this world. "I perceive (continued he) that you are in the broad road to hell, and if you die in this state, you will be damned." I pleaded, that the tree is known by its fruit, and that our Lord condemns ralh judgment; and asked him, What have


seen or known of my life, that induces you to judge me in this manner? And to prevent his reply, I turned sy back upon him. But, however, I could not forget the words of the pious young man, for they were as spears running through me.

In this state I continued till June, 1775. One evening I went to rest as usual, and slept till day-break. Just as I awoke, I was alarmed by an awful voice, that to my apprehension seemed as loud as thunder, “ Awake, fnner!' for you " are not prepared to die!" I was finitten with convictions in a manner I had not known before, and instantly farting from my pillow, cried out, “ Lord, have mercy on my foul!" This was about the commencement of the late unhappy war, and that day there was a general Review near my house, at the fight of which I had promised myself much satisfaction. But mind was now engaged in matters of much greater im. portance, and instead of attending upon the Review, I spent the time in folitude. For several days I laboured under such distresles, as no one can form an idea of, but those who have pafled through similar exercises of foul.

On the Tuesday following I went to the Preaching. Re. turning home about nine o'clock at night, I alighted from my horfe in a lonely wood, and bowed my knees before the Lord. I was perfectly sensible of the presence of two different spirits, who were striving with me. The good Spirit represented to my mind the beauties of Religion, ile bleifedness of the righteous, and the necessity of receiving Jesus Christ the Lord,

by faith, in order to my soul's Salvation. On the other hand, the evil Spirit set forth Religion in a moft odious garb; and the world, its pleasures and gratifications, in brilliant colours; assuring me, that all these things should be mine, if I would give up my notions, and serve him. At length I began to itagger, and yielded to the reasonings of the Enemy. The tenderness of my conscience abated, and penitent tears va. nished away ; but I fill continued on my knees in a kind of meditation, and at last cried out, “ Lord, spare me one year

more; and by that time I can put my worldly affairs in


*s such

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