Page images

Clo. Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissemble my self in't; } and I would I were the first that ever dissembled in such a Gown. I am not tall enough to become the Function well, nor lean enough to be thought a good Student; but to be! said an honest Man, and a good Housekeeper, goes as fairly as to say, a careful Man and a great Scholar. The Compei titors enter.

Enter Sir Toby, SiriTo. Jove bless thee, Mr. Parson.

Clo. Bonos dies, Sir Toby; for as the old Hermit of Prague, that never saw Pen and Ink, very wittily said to a Neece of King Gorbodacky that that is, is; so I being Mr. Parson, am Mr. Parson; for what is that, but that? and is, but is ?

Sir To. To him, Sir Topas.
Clo. What hoa, I say, Peace in this Prison.
Sir To. The Knave counterfeits well; a good Knave.

Malvolio within. Mal. Who calls there?

Clo. Sir Topas the Curate, who comes to visit Malvolio the Lunatick.

Mal. Sir Topas, Sir Topas, good Sir Topas go to my Lady.

Clo. Out hyperbolical Fiend, how vexeft thou this Man? Talkest thou nothing but of Ladies?

Sir To. Well said, Mr. Parson.

Mal. Sir Topas, never was Man thus wrong'd, good Sir Topas do not think I am mad; they have laid me here in hideous Darkness. .

Clo. Fie, thou dishonest Sathan; I call thee by the most modest Terms, for I am one of those gentle ones that will use the Devil himself with Curtefie: Say'st thou that House is dark?

Mal. As Hell, Sir Topas.

Clo. Why it hath bay Windows transparent as Baricadoes, and the clear Stones towards the South North, are as lustrous as Ebony; and yet complainest thou of Obftruion?

Mal. I am not mad, Sir Topas, I say to you this House is dark.

Clo. Mid-man, thou erreft; I say there is no Darkness but Ignorance, in which thou art more puzzel'd than the Egyptians in their Fogg.

Mal. I say this House is as dark as Ignorance, though Ignorance were as dark as Hell; and I say there was never Man thus abus'd, I am no more mad than you are, make the trial of it in any constant Question.

Clo. What is the Opinion of Pythagoras, concerning Wild-foul?

Mal. That the Soul of our Grandam might happily inhabit a Bird.

Clo. What think'st thou of his Opinion? .ir

Mal. I think nobly of the Soul, and no way approve his Opinion.

Clo. Fare thee well: Remain thou still in Darkness, thou shalt hold th'Opinion of Pythagoras, e'er I will allow of thy Wits, and fear to kill a Woodcock, left thou dispossess the House of thy Grandam. Fare thee well.

Mal. Sir Topas, Sir Topas.
Sir To. My most exquisite Sir Topas.
Clo. Nay, I am for all Waters.

Mar. Thou might'st have done this without thy Beard and Gown, he sees thee not.

Sir To. To him in thine own Voice, and bring me word how thou find'st him: I would we were all rid of this Knavery. If he may be conveniently deliver'd, I would he were, for I am now so far in offence with my Neice, that I cannot pursue with any Safety this Sport to the upshot. Come by and by to my Chamber.'

[Exit. Clo. Hey Robin, jolly Robin, tell me how thy Lady does.

Mal. Fool.
Clo. My Lady is unkind, perdie.
Mal, Fool.
Clo. Alas, why is me cop
Mal. Fool, I say. .
Clo. She loves another Who calls, ha?
Mal. Good Fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my
hand, help me to a Candle, and Pen, Ink, and Paper ; as I
am a Gentleman, I will live to be thankful to thee for't.

Clo. Mr. Malvolio!
Mal. Ay, good Fool.
Clo, Alas, Sir, how fell you besides your five Wits?

Mal. Fool, there was never Man so notoriously abus'd.
I am as well in my Wits, Fool, as thou art.

[ocr errors]

Clo. But as well! then you are mad indeed, if you be no better in your Wits than a Fool.

Mal. They have here propertied me ; keep me in dark. ness, send Ministers to me, Asses, and do all they can to face me out of my Wits.

Clo. Advise you what you say: The Minister is here. Malvolio, Malvolio, thy Wits the Heav'ns restore : Endeayour thy self to sleep, and leave thy vain bibble babble,

Mal. Sir Topas.

Clo. Maintain no Words with him, good Fellow Who I, Sir, not I, Sir. God buy you, good Sir Topas : Marry Amen. I will, Sir, I will, Sir.

Mal. Fool, Fool, Fool, I say.

Clo. Alas, Sir, be patient. What say you, Sir, I am fhent for speaking to you.

Mal. Good Fool, help me to fome Light, and some Paper ; I tell thee I am as well in my Wits, as any Mania Illyria.

Clo. Well-a-day that you were, Sir.

Mal. By this Hand I am: Good Fool, fome Ink, Paper and Light; and convey what I will set down to my Lady: It shall advantage thee more, than ever the bearing of Letter did."

Clo. I will help you to't. But tell me true, are you not mad indeed, or do you but counterfeits

Mal. Believe me, I am not, I tell thee true.

Clo. Nay, I'll ne'er believe a Mad-man’till I see his Brains. I will fetch you Light, and Paper, and Ink,

Mal. Fool, I'll requite it in the highest degree;
I prethee be gone. '
Clo. I am gone, Sir, and anon, Sir,

I'll be with you again
In a trice, like to the old Vice,

Your Need to sustain.
Who with Dagger of Lath, in his Rage and his Wrath,

. Cries ah, ah, to the Devil:
Like a mad Lad, pair thy Nails, Dad,
Adieu, good Man Devil.




Enter Sebastian.
Seb. This is the Air, that is the glorious Sun,
This Pearl she gave me, I do feel't and see't.
And though ’tis wonder that enwraps me thus,
Yet 'tis not madness. Where's Anthonio then?
I could not find him at the Elephant, I
Yet there he was, and there I found this Credit,
That he did range the Town to seek me out.
His Counsel now might do me golden Service,
For tho' my Soul disputes well with my Sense,
That this may be some Error, but no Madness,
Yet doth this Accident and Flood of Fortune,
So far exceed all Instance, all Discourse,
That I am ready to distruft mine Eyes,
And wrangle with my Reason that persuades me
To any other Trust, but that I am mad,
Or else the Lady's mad; yet if 'twere so,
She could not sway her House, command her Followers,
Take, and give back Affairs, and their dispatch,
With such a smooth, discreet, and stable-bearing
As I perceive she does: There's something in't
That is deceivable. But here the Lady comes.

Enter Olivia and Priest.
Oli. Blame not this hafte of mine: If you mean well,
Now go with me, and with this holy Man
Into the Chantry by; there before him,
And underneath that consecrated Roof,
Plight me the full assurance of your Faith,
That my most jealous and too doubtful Soul
May live at Peace. He shall conceal it,
Whiles you are willing it shall come to note,
What time we will our Celebration keep
According to my Birth. What do you say?

Seb. I'll follow this good Man, and go with you,
And having sworn Truth, ever will be true.

Oli. Then lead the way, good Father, and Heav'n so shine, That they may fairly note this Ad of mine. - [Exeunt.



[ocr errors]

Enter Clown and Fabian.
N O W, as thou lov'st me, let me see this Letter.

TV Clo. Good Mr. Fabian, grant me another Request.'
Fab. Any thing
Clo. Do not desire to see this Letter.

Fab. This is to give a Dog, and in recompence desire my Dog again.,

Enter Duke, Viola, Curio, and Lords.
Duke. Belong you to the Lady Olivia, Friends?
Clo. Ay, Sir, we are some of her Trappings.

Duke. I know thee well ; how dost thou, my good

Clo. Truly, Sir, the better for my Foes, and the worse for my Friends.

Duke. Just the contrary; the better for thy Friends,
Clo. No, Sir, the worse.
Duke. How can that be ?

Clo. Marry, Sir, they praise me, and make an Ass of me; now my Foes tell me plainly, I am an Ass: So that by my Foes, Sir, I profit in the Knowledge of my self, and by my Friends I am abused: So that Conclusions to be as Kisses, if your four Negatives make your two Affirmatives, why then the worse for my Friends, and the better for my Foes.

Duke. Why this is Excellent.

Clo. By my troth, Sir, no; tho it please you to be one of my Friends.

Duke. Thou shalt not be the worse for me, there's Gold.

Clo. But that it would be double-dealing, Sir, I would could make it another.

Duke. O you give me ill Counsel.

Clo. Put your Grace in your Pocket, Sir, for this once, and let your Flesh and Blood obey it.

Duke. Well, I will be so much a Sinner to be a doubledealer : There's another.

Clo. Primo, Secundo, Tertio, is a good play, and the old saying is, the third pays for all: The triplex, Sir, is a good


« PreviousContinue »