cloistered up (as it were) in a nunnery? This is my hard cafe: my aunt, who is a woman of the laft age, took me down with her this fummer to her houfe in Northamptonshire; nor fhall I be released from my prifon till the time of the coronation, which will be as joyful to me as the act of grace to an infolvent debtor. My time, however, is spent agreeably enough, as far as any thing can be agreeable in the country, as we live in a good neighbourhood, fee a good deal of company, pay a good many visits, and are near enough Aftrop-Wells for me to play at cards at all the public breakfastings, and to dance at the afiemblies. But, as I told you, my aunt is an old-fashioned lady, and has got queer notions of I know not what. I dread nothing fo much as the coming round of Sunday, which is fure to prove, to me at least, a day of penance and mortification. In the morning we are dragged, in the old family coach, to the parish-church, not a stone's throw off the houfe, for grandeur-fake; and, though I drefs me ever fo gay, the ignorant bumkins take no more notice of me than they do of my aunt, who is muffled up to the chin. At dinner we never fee a creature but the parfon, who never fails coming for his cuftomary fee of roaftbeef and plum pudding; in the afternoon the fame dull work of church-going is repeated; and the evening is as melancholy as it is to a criminal who is to be executed the next morning. When I first came down, I propofed playing a game at whift, and invited the doctor to make a fourth; but my aunt looked upon the very mention of it as an abomination. I thought there could be no harm in a little innocent mufic; and therefore, one morning, while the was getting ready for church, I began to tune my guitar, the found of which quickly brought her down ftairs, and fhe vowed the would break it all to pieces, if I was fo wicked as to touch it; though I offered to compromise the matter with her, by play. ing nothing but pfalm tunes to please her. I hate reading any thing, but especially good books, as my aunt calls them, which are dull at any time, but much duller on a Sunday; yet my aunt wonders I will not employ myself, when I have nothing to do, in reading Nelfon on the Feafts and Fafts, or a chapter in the Bible. You must know, that the day I write this on is Sunday; and it happens to be fo very rainy, that my aunt is afraid to venture herself in the damp church, for fear of increafing her rheu matifim; fhe has therefore put on her fpectacles, ordered the great family-bible into the hall, and is going to read prayers herfelf to the fervants. I excufed myself from being prefent, by pretending an head-ach, and itole into my clofet in order to divert myfelf in writing to you. How I fhall be able to go through the reft of the day, I know not; as the rain, I believe, will not fuffer us to ftir out, and we shall fit moping and yawning at one another, and looking ftupidly at the rain out of the Gothic window in the little parlour, like the clean, and unclean beafts in Noah's ark. It is faid, that the gloomy weather in November induces Englishmen commonly to make away with themfelves; and, indeed, confidering the weather, and all together, I believe I fhall be tempted to drown myfelf at once in the pond before the door, or fairly tuck myself up in my own garters. I am your very humble fervant, DOROTHY THURSDAY. B. Thornton. $136. On the Militia. Sir, Aug. 9, 1761. The weather here in England is as unfettled and variable as the tempers of the people; nor can you judge, from the appearance of the fky, whether it will rain or hold up for a moment together, any more than you can tell by the face of a man, whether he will lour in a frown, or clear up in a smile. An unexpected fhower has obliged me to turn into the firft inn; and I think I may e'en as well país my time in writing for your paper, efpecially as I have nothing else to do, having examined all the prints in the room, read over all the rhymes, and admired all the Dear Mifes and Charming Mifes on the window-panes. As I had the honour to pay my fhilling at the ordinary in this town with fome of the officers of the militia, I am enabled to fend you a few thoughts on that fubject. With refpect to the common men, it wil be fufficient to obferve, that in many military practices, no body of regulars can poibly exceed them. Their prowefs in marauding is unquestionable; as they are fure to take prisoners whatever flragglers they meet with on their march, fuch as geefe, turkies, chickens, &c. and have been often known to make a perfect defart of a farmer's yard. By the bye, it is poffibly on this account, that a turkey bears fo great an antipathy to the colour of red. Thefe fellows are, indeed, fo intrepid, that 3 P they they will attack any convoy of provifions that falls in their way; and my landlord aflures me, that as foon as they come into a town, they immediately lay clofe fiege to the pantry and kitchen, which they commonly take by ftorm, and never give any quarter; as allo, that they are excellent miners, in working their way into the cellar. I little imagined that I fhould have met with my old univerfity acquaintance Jack Five Bar in this part of the country, as I could not but think we had been at least two hundred miles afunder. Indeed I did not know him at his first accofting me, as he approached flowly to me with a diftantly familiar air, and a fliding bow forward, and a " Sir, your most humble fervant," inftead of springing upon me like a grey. hound, and clapping me on the fhoulder like a bailiff, fqueezing my four fingers in his rough palm, like a nut cracker, and then whirling my arm to and fro, like the handle of a great pump, with a blunt "How doft do?—I am glad to fee thee" and a hearty Damme at the beginning and end of it. Jack, you must know, by being a militia captain, is become a fine gentleman; fo fine a one, indeed, that he affeas to defpife what he never knew, and afked me, if I had not, as well as himfelf, forgot all my Greek. It is true, that my friend Jack (I beg his honour's pardon, I fhould fay captain) has had the advantage of an Oxford education; and therefore it is not wonderful, that he has been worked, kneaded, moulded, finc-drawn, and polished into a better kind of pipe-makers clay than the clods of which fome of his brother officers were compofed. Yet thefe, I found, had in fome measure caft their flough, and put on the martial gentility with the drefs: fuch are the furprizing effects of a red coat, that it immediately dubs a man a gentleman; as, for inftance, every private man in his majefty's foot guards is dignified with the title of gentleman-foldier. To the honour of the militia be it fpoken, their officers have made noble advances in the military arts, and are become as great proficients in them as any of the regulars; I mean thofe arts particularly, which will render them an ornament to their country in the time of peace. Firft then, with respect to drefs and politeness of behaviour. The red coat, the cockade, the fhoulder-knot, and the fword, have metamorphofed our plain country 'fquires into as arrant beaus as any on the parade. The fhort jerkin, ftriped waistcoat, leather breeches, and livery of the hunt, are exchanged for an elegant laced uniform; the bob-wig has fprouted to a queue; the boots are caft off for filk stockings and turned pumps; and the long whip has given place to a gold-hilted fword, with a flaming fword-knot. They have reconciled themselves to ruffles, and can make a bow, and come into a room with a good grace. With thefe accomplishments, our bumkins have been enabled to fhine at country affemblies; though it must be confessed, that thefe grown gentlemen ftand fomewhat in need of Mr. Duke's inftructions. Some of them have alfo carried their politenefs fo far as to decide a point of honour with their fwords; and at the lat town I paffed through, I was told, there had been a duel between a militia officer and the furgeon of the place, when the former being pricked in the fword-arm, his antagonist directly pulled out his falvebox, and kindly drefled the wound upon the field of battle. Another necefiary qualification of a foldier, is, curfing and fwearing; in which exercife, I affure you, our militia gentry are very expert. It is true, they had had fome practice in it before they left their native fields, but were not difciplined in difcharging their oaths with right military grace. A common fellow may fwear indeed like a trooper, as any one may let off a gun, or pufh with a fword; but to do it with a good air, is to be learned only in a camp. This practice, I fuppofe, was introduced among our regiments, and to lerated by the chaplains, that it might familiarize them to the most shocking cir cumftances: for, after they have intrepidly damned one another's eyes, limbs, blood, bodies, fouls, and even their own, they muft certainly be fearlels of any harm that can happen to them. Drinking is another abfolute requifite in the character of a good officer; and in this our militia are not at all deficient. Indeed they are kept to fuch conftant duty in this exercife, that they cannot fail of be ing very expert at it. No veterans in the fervice can charge their glaffes in better order, or difcharge them more regularly at the word of command. By the way, this is the only duty that is expected from the chaplain; and he is commonly as ready to perform it as any of the corps. Intrigue is as effential to a foldier as his regimentals; you will therefore ima gine the militia do not fall fhort of the tegulars in this military accomplishment. Every woman is regarded by them as lawful plunder; fome they befiege by fecret fap and undermining, and fome they take by affault. It has been frequently a prac. tice in the most civilized armies, whenever they form a town, not only to cut the throats of the men, but to ravish the women and it is from this example, I fuppofe, that our officers think it an indifpenfable branch of their duty to debauch the wives and fiflers of the inhabitants wherever they are quartered; or perhaps, confidering the great lofs of men we have fuftained by fea and land, they are defirous of filling up the chafm, and providing recruits for a future war. The laft circumftance which I fhall mention, as highly neceflary in an officer, is, the fpirit of gaming. The militia-officer was undoubtedly poffeffed of this fpirit in fome degree before, and would back his own horfes on the turf, or his own cocks in a main, or bye-battle; but he never thought of riking his whole patrimony on a fingle card, or the turn of a die. Some of them have fuffered more by a peaceful fummer's campaign, than if their eftates had been over-run, pillaged, and laid waste by the invader: and what does it fignify, whether the timber is cut down and deftroyed by the enemy, or fold to fatisfy a debt of honour to a sharper? But the rain is over, and I am glad of it as I was growing ferious, contrary to my ufual humour. I have ordered my horfe out-and have fome miles to ride fo no more at present from Your conftant correfpondent, &c. $137. On going to Bath, Tunbridge, and other Watering-places, in the Summer. Nunc eft bibendum. Sadlers-Wells. It has long been a doubt with me, whether his majefty lofes more fubjects in the year by water or by fpirituous liquors: I mean, I cannot determine within myself, whether Bath, Tunbridge, Scarborough, &c. &c. &c. do lefs harm to the conftitutions of my fellow-creatures, than brandy, gin, or even British fpirits. I own, nothing gives me more furprife in the practice of the learned in Warwick-lane, than their almoft unanimoufly concurring in ducking their patients in the fea, or drenching them with falt, fteel, or fulphureous water, be their distemper what it may. If a man has a dropfy, they will not hesitate to give gallons of this element, as they do not fcruple to give the ftrongest cordials fometimes in the moft violent fever. Though the faculty feem to agree, one and all, that every patient should visit fome watering-place or other in the fummer, I do not find they are fettled in their opini ons, what particular waters fuit particular diforders. I have vifited them all for my amufement; and upon converfing with the invalids in each place, I have found, to my great furprife, in Bath, Tunbridge, Briftol, and Brighthelinftone, many perfons drinking the waters for the gout, bilious cholics, or weak nerves, as if the fame effects could be produced by feel, falt, and fulphur; nay, a gentleman of my acquaintance was fent by different phyficians to different places, though they were all agreed about the nature of his cafe. I verily believe, if a man would confult every phyfician in the kingdom, he would vifit every fink in the whole island, for there is not an hole or bottom in any county, that has not its falutary fpring; and every fpring has its phyfician to prove, in a long pamphlet of hard words, that thofe waters are fuperior to any other, and that any patient, in any diforder whatever, may be fure of relief, In fhort, we feem to have a fecond deluge, not by the wickednefs, but the folly of the people, and every one is taking as much pains to perifh in it as Noah and his family did to escape it. The prefent thirst after this element, which the phyficians have created, makes it neceffary for them to fend their patients to fome waters in vogue; but the choice being left to the doctor, he is determined in it by various circumftances: fometimes the patient is fent where the best advice and affiftance may be had, in cafe the distemper fhould increase; fometimes where the phyfician of the place is a coufin or pupil of the phyfician in town; fometimes where the doctor has an eflate in the neighbourhood; and I have more than once known a patient fent to a place, for no other reason, but becaufe the doctor was born within four miles of it. I cannot eafily fuggeft to myfelf any reafon, why phyficians in London are fond of fending their patients to waters at the greateft diftance, whilft the country practitioners generally recommend the (prings in their neighbourhood. I cannot come into the notion that prevails among many perfons, 3 P 2 that that fome of the faculty in London divide the fees with those they recommend in the country, like the lawyers who deal in agency: but I am induced to think that, as they are confcious the waters are out of the cafe, they hope the exercife and change of air in a long journey will lay the groundwork of that cure, which the temperance and diffipation prefcribed by the doctor may poffibly perform: on this account they decline fending their patients to Sadlers-Wells, Powis-Wells, Pancras-Wells, Acton Wells, Bagnigge-Wells, the Dog and Duck, or Iflington-Spa, which are as falutary as thofe of Bath or Tunbridge for patients who live at a distance, and who can receive no benefit from the wells and fpas in their neighbourhood. Another circumflance confirms me in the opinion, that the waters of any spa do nothing more towards the cure than what is to be had from any pump whatsoever. I never found the inhabitants of the place appear at the fprings and wells with the company of foreigners; and I have seen many invalids among them complaining of cholics, aithmas, gouts, &c. as much as the vifiters of the place: and if it is faid, that many who come to Bath on crutches go away without them, I have feen, more than once, thofe very crutches fupporting fome miferable cripple of the town. It may be urged, that many cures have been performed at thefe public places; but whether they are to be attributed to the waters, or the air, exercife, and temperance prefcribed by the doctor, will apppear from the following flory. An honeft country baker having, by his clofe and anxious application to bufinefs in the day-time, and a very conftant attendance at the Three Horfe-fhoes at night, contracted a distemper that is beft understood by the names of the Hip or the Horrors, was fo very miferable, that he had made two attempts upon his own life; at length, by the perfuafion of his friends, he applied to a phyfician in the neighbourhood for advice; the doctor (I fuppofe a quack, by the low fee which he demanded) told him, he would cure him in a month, if he would follow his directions; but he expected, in the mean time, a new quartern loaf whenever he fhould fend for it. In return for the first quartern, he fent a box of pills, with directions for the baker to take three at fix in the morning fafting, after which to walk four miles; to take the fame number at fix in the evening, and to walk the like num ber of miles to repeat the fame number of pills at eight, and to work them off with a pint of ale, without the ufe of his pipe, and the like number at ten o'clock, going to bed. The baker kept his word with the doctor, and the doctor kept his with the patient; for, at the end of the month, the honeft fellow was in as good health, and enjoyed as high fpirits, as when he was a boy. The cheapnefs of his cure induced the baker to enquire of his doctor, by what wonderful medicine fo fpeedy and perfect a cure had been effected. The doctor, which is another proof of his not being regularly bred, told him, the pills were made of his own loaf covered with gold leaf; and added, if he would take the fame medicine, and follow the fame directions, whenever his relapfing into his former course of life fhould bring on the like diforder, he might be fure of as fpeedy and effectual a cure. Ifhould, however, want gratitude, as well as candour, if I did not acknowledge a very lafting obligation I lie under to Tunbridgewaters: my wife and I had lamented, for two or three years, that the very good eftate which I enjoyed would, probably, after my death, go into another family, for want of an heir in my own. My wife was advifed to go to Tunbridge, and to drink the waters for eight or nine months: we were very much grieved to part for fo long a time; but fuch has been our amazing fuccefs, that the dear creature returned to me, at the end of half a year, four months gone with child. B. Thornton. § 131. The faint-hearted Lover. Sir, I do not doubt but every one of your readers will be able to judge of my cafe, as, without question, every one of them either has been, or is at prefent, as much in love as your humble fervant. You must know, Sir, I am the very Mr. Faint-heart defcribed in the proveib, who never won fair lady: for though I have paid my addreffes to feveral of the fex, I have gone about it in fo meek and pitiful a manner, that it might fairly be a queftion, whether I was in earneft. One of my Dulcineas was taken, as we catch mackarel, by a bit of scarlet; another was feduced from me by a fuit of embroidery; and another furrendered, at the firit attack, to the long fword of an Irishman. My prefent fuit and fervice is paid to a certain lady who is as fearful of receiving any tokens of my affection as I am of cffering them. I am only permitted to fence. If you, or any of your readers, can alvife me what to do in this cafe, it will be a lafting obligation conferred on, Your very humble fervant, § 139. A circumftantial Detail of every Particular that paffed at the Coronation. [Ina Letter from a Gentleman to his Friend in the Country.] to admire her at a difance; an ogle or a leer are all the advances I dare make; if I move but a finger it puts her all in a fweat; and, like the fenfitive plant, fhe would shrink and die away at a touch. During our long courtship I never offered to falute her but once; and then fhe made fuch a wriggling with her body, fuch a ftruggling with her armis, and fuch a toffing and twirling of her head to and fro, that, in lead of touching her lips, I was nearly in danger of carrying off the tip of her nofe. I even dared at another time to take her round the waift; but the bounced away from me, and fereamed out as if I had actually been going to commit a rape upon her. I alfo once plucked up courage fufficient to attempt fqueezing her by the hand, but the refifted my attack by fo clofe a clench of her fit, that my grafp was prefented with nothing but fharppointed knuckles, and a long thumb-nail; and I was directly after faluted with a violent ftroke on my jaw-bone. If I walk out with her, I ufe all my endeavours to keep close at her fide; but the whisks away from me as though I had fome catching diftemper about me: if there are iut three of us, The eludes my defign by skipping sometimes on one fide and fometimes on t'other as I approach her; but when there are more of us in company, he takes care to be fheltered from me by placing herself the very midmoft of the rank. If we ride in a coach together, I am not only debarred from fit. ting on the fame fide, but I must be feated on the furthermoft corner of the feat oppofite to her, that our knees may not meet. We are as much at diftance from one another at dinner, as if we were really man and wife, whom cuftom has directed to be kept afunder the whole length of the table; and when we drink tea, he would fooner run the risk of having the contents fpilt over her, than take the cup and faucer from me any nearer than at both our arms length. If I mention a fyllable that in the leaft Borders upon love, the immediately reddens at it as much as if I had let drop a loose or indelicate expreffion; and when I defire to have a little private converfation with her, the wonders at my impudence, to think that the could truft herself with a man alone. In fhort, Sir, I begin to defpair of ever coming to close contact with her but what is ftill more provoking, though fhe keeps me at fo refpectful a diftance, the tamely permits a ftrapping fellow of the guards to pat her on the cheek, play with her hand, and even approach her lips, and that too in my pre : Dear Sir, Though I regret leaving you fo foon, efpecially as the weather has fince proved fo fine, that it makes me long to be with you in the country, yet I honestly confefs, that I am heartily glad I came to town as I did. As I have feen it, I declare I would not have miffed the fight upon any confideration. The friendship of Mr. Rolles, who procured me a pass-ticket, as they call it, enabled me to be prefent both in the Hall and the Abbey; and as to the proceffion out of doors, I had a fine view of it from a one-pair of ftairs room, which your neighbour, Sir Edward, had hired, at the fmall price of one hundred guineas, on purpofe to oblige his acquaintance. I wish you had been with me; but as you have been deprived of a fight, which probably very few that were prefent will ever fee again, I will endeavour to defcribe it to you as minutely as I can, while the circumflances are fresh in my memory, though my defcription must fali very fhort of the reality. First, then, conceive to yourfelf the fronts of the houses, in all the ftreets that could command the leaft point of view, lined with fcaffolding, like fo many galleries or boxes raifed one above another to the very roofs. Thefe were covered with carpets and cloths of different colours, which prefented a pleafing variety to the eye; and if you confider the brilliant appearance of the fpectators who were feated in them (many being richly dreffed) you will eafily imagine that this was no indifferent part of the show. The mob underneath made a pretty contrast to the rest of the company. Add to this, that though we had nothing but wet and cloudy weather for fome time before, the day cleared up, and the fun fhone aufpiciously, as it were in compliment to the grand festival. The platform, on account of the uncertainty of the weather, had a fhelving roof, which was covered with a kind of fail-cloth; but near the place where I was, an honeft Jack Tar climbed up to the top and ftripped off the covering, 3 P 3 which |