than even hartshorn itself! Ha, ha, ha! See, child, how beautiful a fond imagination can paint a lover : "would not any one think now we had been a happy "couple together Heaven knows how long?"

Har. Well, you dear mad creature! but do you think you can maintain any of this fondness to his face? for I know some women who speak very fondly of a husband to other people, but never say one civil thing to the man himself.

Mar. Oh, never fear it ; one can't indeed bring one's self to be civil to a young lover; but as for these old fellows, I think one may play as harmlessly with them as with one another. Young fellows are perfect bears, and must be kept at a distance ; the old ones are mere lapdogs, and when they have agreeable tricks with them one is equally fond of both.

Har. Well, but now I hope you will give me leave to speak a word or two seriously in favour of my poor brother.

Mar. Oh, I shall hate you if you are serious. Oh! see what your wicked words have occasioned: I protest you are a conjurer, and certainly deal with the devil.

Enter FREDERICK.

Har. Oh brother! I am glad you are come to plead your own cause; I have been your solicitor in your absence.

Fred. I am afraid, like other clients, I shall plead much worse for myself than my advocate has done.

Mar. Persons who have a bad cause should have very artful counsel.

Fred. When the judge is determined against us, all art will prove of no effect.

Mar. Why then, truly, Sir, in so terrible a situation, I think the sooner you give up the cause the better.

Fred. No, Madam, I am resolved to persevere; for when one's whole happiness is already at stake, I see nothing more can be hazarded in the pursuit. It might be perhaps a person's interest to give up a cause wherein part of his fortune was concerned, but when the dispute is about the whole he can never lose by persevering.

Mar. Do you hear him, Harriet? I fancy this brother of yours would have made a most excellent lawyer. I protest when he is my son-in-law I'll send him to the Temple: tho' he begins a little late, yet diligence may bring him to be a great man.

Fred. I hope, Madam, diligence may succeed in love as well as law: sure Mariana is not a more crabbed study than Coke upon Lyttleton !

Mar. Oh, the wretch! he has quite suffocated me with his comparison; I must have a little air: dear Harriet let us walk in the garden.

Fred. I hope, Madam, I have your leave to attend you?

Mar. My leave! no indeed, you have no leave of mine; but if you will follow me, I know no way to hinder you. [Exeunt.

"Har. Ah, brother; I wish you had no greater "enemy in this affair than your mistress."

SCENE III.

A Garden. Enter RAMILIE and LAPPET.

Lap. This was indeed a most unlucky accident; however, I dare lay a wager I shall succeed better with him, and get some of those guineas you would have borrowed.

Ram. I am not, Madam, now to learn Mrs. Lappet's dexterity; but if you get any thing out of him I shall think you a match for the devil. Sooner than to extract gold from him I would engage to extract religion from a hypocrite, honesty from a lawyer, health from a physician, sincerity from a courtier, or modesty from a poet. I think, my dear! you have liv'd long enough in this house to know that gold is a dear commodity here.

Lap. Ah, but there are some certain services which will squeeze it out of the closest hands. There is one trade which, I thank Heaven, I'm no stranger to, wherein all men are dabblers; and he who will scarce afford himself either meat or clothes, will still pay for the commodities I deal in.

Ram. Your humble servant, Madam; I find you don't know our good master yet; "there is not a wo"man in the world who loves to hear her pretty self "talk never so much, but you may easier shut her

"mouth than open his hands; as for thanks, praises, "and promises, no courtier upon earth is more libe"ral of them; but for money, the devil a penny : "there's nothing so dry as his caresses; and" there is no husband who hates the word Wife half so much as he does the word Give: instead of saying I give you a good-morrow, he always says I lend you a good-morrow.

Lap. Ah, Sir! let me alone to drain a man; I have the secret to open his heart and his purse too.

Ram. I defy you to drain the man we talk of of his money; he loves that more than any thing you can procure him in exchange: " the very sight of a dun "throws him into convulsions; 'tis touching him in "the only sensible part; 'tis piercing his heart, tear"ing out his vitals, to ask him for a farthing:" but here he is, and if you get a shilling out of him I'll marry you without any other fortune.

Enter LOVEGOLD.

[Exit.

Love. All's well hitherto; my dear money is safe. Is it you Lappet ?

Lap. I should rather ask if it be you, Sir? Why, you look so young and vigorous

Love. Do I, do I!

Lap. Why, you grow younger and younger every day, Sir; you never look'd half so young in your life, Sir, as you do now. Why, Sir, I know fifty young fel lows of five-and-twenty that are older than you are. Love. That may be, that may be, Lappet, consider

ing the lives they lead; and yet I am a good ten years above fifty.

Lap. Well; and what's ten years above fifty ? 'tis the very flower of a man's age. Why, Sir, you are now in the very prime of your life.

Love. Very true, that's very true, as to understanding; but I am afraid could I take off twenty years it would do me no harm with the ladies, Lappet. How goes on our affair with Mariana? have you mentioned any thing about what her mother can give her for now-a-days nobody marries a woman unless she brings something with her besides her petticoat.

Lap. Sir! why, Sir, this young lady will be worth to you as good a thousand pounds a-year as ever was told.

Love. How a thousand pounds a-year.

Lap. Yes, Sir; there's, in the first place, the article of a table; she has a very little stomach, she does not eat above an ounce in a fortnight; and then as to the quality of what she eats you'll have no need of a French-cook upon her account; as for sweetmeats, she mortally hates them; so there is the article of desserts wiped off all at once-you'll have no need of a confectioner, who would be eternally bringing in bills for preserves, conserves, biscuits, comfits, and jellies, of which half-a-dozen ladies would swallow you ten pounds worth at a meal; this, I think, we may very moderately reckon at two hundred pounds a-year at least. Item, for clothes; she has been bred up in such a plainness in them, that should we allow but for