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St. James's Coffee-house, June 20.
A mail from Listen has brought advices, of June the twelfth, from the King of Portugal's army encamped at Torre Allegada, which insorms us, that the General of the army called a court martial on the sourth at the camp of Jerumena, where it was resolved, to march with a design to attempt the succour of Oliwnza. Accordingly the army moved on the sifth, and marched towards Badajos. Upon their approach, the Marquis de Bay detached so great a party from the blockade of Olivenza, that the Marquis das Minas, at the head of a large detachment, covered a great convoy of provisions towards Oliz/enza, which threw in their stores, and marched back to the main army, without molestation from the Spaniards4 They add, that each army must necessarily march into quarters within twenty days.
"Whosoever can discover a Surgeon's apprentice who "sell upon Mr. Bickerstaff's messenger, or (as the Prin"ters call him) Devil, going to the press, and tore out "of his hand part of his Essay against. Duels, in the "fragments of which were the words, you lye, and 0 man of honour, taken up at the Temple-Gate, and
'' the words, Perhaps, May be not, By your
"leave, Sir,—and other terms of provocation, taken "up at the door of Young Man's Coffee-house, shall re"ceive fatisfaction from Mr. Morphe"ui, besides a set of "arguments to be spoken to any man in a passion, "which, if the faid enraged man listens to, will pre'' vent quarrelling.
"Mr. Bickerstajf does hereby give notice, that he has "taken the two famous Universities of this land under "his immediate care, and does hereby promise all tu"tors and pupils, that he will hear what can be faid of *' each side between them, and to correct them impar"tially, by placing them in orders and classes in the *' learned world, according to their merit."
N° 32. Thursday, June 23, 1709.
White's Chocolate-house, June 22.
AN answer to the sollowing Letter being absolutely necessary to be dispatched with all expedition, I must trespass upon all that come with horary questions into my anti-chamber, to give the Gentleman my opinion.
"T Know not whether you ought to pity or laugh at "-*- me ; sor I am fallen desperately in love with a pro"sessed Platonne, the most unaccountable creature of "her Sex. To hear her talk seraphics, and run over "Norn's, and Moor, and Milton, and the whole set of "intellectual triflers, torments me heartily; sor, to a "Lover who understands metaphors, all this pretty "prattle of Ideas gives very sine views of pleasure, "which only the dear declaimer prevents, by under"standing them literally: Why should she wish to be '' a cherubim, when it is flesh and blood that makes her '' adorable? If I speak to her, that is a high breach of '' the idea of Intuition. If I offer at her hand or lip, '' stie shrinks from the touch like a sensitive plant, and '' would contract herself into .mere Spirit. She calls "her chariot, vehicle; her surbelowed scarf, pinions; "her blue manteau and petticoat is her azure dress; '' and her sootman goes by the name of Oberon. It is "roy missortune to be six seet and a half high, two sull "spans between the shoulders, thirteen inches diameter *' in the calves; and, besore I was in love, I had a '' noble stomach, and usually went to bed sober with
'two bottles. I am not quite six-and-twenty, and my 'nose is marked truly aquiline. For these reasons, I 'am in a very-particular manner her aversion. What 'shall I do s impudence itself cannot reclaim her. If "I write miserably, she reckons me among the children "of perdition, and discards me her region: If-Iaflume V the gross and substantial, she plays the real ghost with '' me, and vanishes in a moment. I had hopes in the "hypocrisy of lier Sex; but perseverance makes it as "bad as sixed aversion. I desire your opinion, whether "I may not lawsully play the Inquisition upon her, "make use of a little sorce, and put her to the rack 'and torture, only to convince her, she has really sine "limbs, without spoiling or distorting them. I expect »' your directions, besore 1 proceed to dwindle and fall "away with despair; which at present I do not think "adviseable, because, if she should' recant, she may "then hate me perhaps, in the other extreme, for my '' tenuity. I am (with impatience)
You most humble servant,
My Patient has put his case with very much warmth, and represented it in so lively a manner, that I see both his torment and tormentor with great perspicuity. This order of Platonnic Ladies are to be dealt with in a peculiar manner from the rest of the Sex. Flattery is the -general way, and the way in this case; but it is not to be done grosly. Every man that has wit, and humour, and raillery, can make a good flatterer for women in general; but a Platonne is not to be touched with panegyric: She will tell you, it is a sensuality in the Soul to be delighted that way. You are not therefore to commend, but silently consent to all she does and fays. You are to consider, the scorn of you is not humour, but opinion in her.
There were, some years since, a set of these Ladies who were of Quality, and gave out, that virginity was to be their state of lise during this mortal condition, and theresore resolved to join their sortunes, and erect a nunnery. nery. The place of residence was pitched upon; and a pretty situation, sull of natural falls and risings of waters, with shady coverts, and flowery arbours, was approved by seven of the sounders. There were as many of our Sex who took the liberty to visit the mansions of intended severity; among others, a famous Rake of that time, who had the grave way to an excellence. He came in sirst; but upon seeing a servant coming towards him, with a design to tell him, this was no place sor him or his companions, up goes my grave Impudence to the maid; Young woman, faid he, if any of the Ladies are in the way on this side of the house, pray carry us on the other side towards the gardens: We are, you must know, Gentlemen that are travelling England; after which we shall go into soreign parts, where some of -us have already been. Here he bows in the most humble marmer, and kissed the girl, who knew not how to. behave to such a sort of carriage. He goes on: Now* you must know we have' an ambition to have it to fay, that we have a Protestant nunnery in England: But pray
Mrs. Betty Sir, fae replied, my name is Susan, at
your service. Then I heartily beg your pardon No
essence in the least, fays she, sor I have a cousin-german, whose name is Betty. Jnseed, faid he, I protest to you, that was more than I knew; I spoke ;it random: But since it happens that I was near in the right, give me leave to present this Gentleman to the favour ot a civil falute. His friend advances, and so on, until they hadall faluted her. By this means, the poor girl was in tha middle of the crowd of these sellows, ata loss what to do, without courage to pass through them; and the Platonics, at several-peep-holes, pale, trembling, arid fretting. Rake perceived they were observed, and theresore took care to keep Suiy in chat with questions concerning their way of lise; when appeared attast Madontlla, a Lady who had writ a sine book concerning the recluse lise, and was the projectrix of the foundation. She approaches into the hall; and Rake knowing the dignity of his own mien and aspect, goes deputy fr- t%. his company. She begins; Sir, 1 am obliged to follow the servant, who was sent out to know, what affair couli make strangers press upon a solitude which we^ who aie Voi. I. £ t« to inhabit this place, have devoted to heaven and our own thoughts f Madam, replies Rake, (with an air of great distance, mixed with a certain indifference, by which he could dissemble dissimulation) your great intention has made more noise in the world, than you design it should; and we travellers, who have seen many foreign institutions of this kind, have a curiosity to see, in its sirst rudiments, the seat of primitive piety; for such it must be called by suture ages, to the eternal honour of the founders. I have read tdadonella's excellent and seraphic discourse on this subject. The Lady immediately answers, If what 1 have faid could have contributed to raise any thoughts in you that may make for the advancement of intellectual and divine converfation, I should think myself extremely happy. He immediately sell tack with the profoundest veneration; then advancing, Are you then that admired Lady? if I may approach lips which have uttered things so facred—T—He falutes her. His friends followed his example. The Devoted within stood in amazement where this would end, to see Madonttta receive their address and their company. But Rake goes on We would not transgress rules; bat if we may take the liberty to see the place you h*ve thought sit to choose for ever, we would go into such parts of the gardens', as is consistent with the severities you have imposed on yourselves. To be short, MaJonella permitted Rake to lead her into the assembly of Nur«, followed by his friends, and each took his fair one by the hand, after due explanation, to walk round the gardens. The converfation turned upon the lilies, the flowers, the arbours, and the growing vegetables; and Rake had the solemn impudence, when the whole company flood round him, to fay, that he sincerely •wished men might rise out of the earth like plants; and that our minds were not of necessity to be sullied with carnivorous appetites for the generation, as well as support, of our species. This was spoke with so easy and sixed art assurance, that MaJonella answered, Sir, under the notion of a pious thought, you deceive yourself in wishing an institution foreign to th_at of Providence. These desires were implanted in us for reverend purposes, in preserving the race of men, and giving oppor'(unities