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air And she had iio sooner carried it, "but Dtmtia
made her utterly forget by a gentle sinking, and a rigadoon step. The contest<held a sull half-hour 5 and11 protest, 1 faw no manner of difference in their persetiions, until they came up together, and expected sentence. Look ye, Ladies, faid I, I see no difference in the least in your performance;: but-you Clidamira seem to f;e so well fatissied that I shall determine for you, that. I 'must give it to Damia, whq stands withso much diffidence and sear, after shewing an equal merit to what sne pretends to. Therefore Clidamira you are a pretty; but, Damiai you are a very pretty Lady. For; faid 'I, beauty loses its force, if not accompanied with modesty. She that has an humble Ojjrnion of herself, will have every body's applause, because she does not expect it; while the vsin creature loses approbation through too great a sense of deserving it.
From my own Apartment, June 17. <''..;
Being of a very spare and hective constitution, I am forced to make frequent journies of a mile or two for fresh air; and indeed by this last, which was no farther than the village of Chelsea, I am-farther convinced of the necessity of travelling to know the world. For as it is usual with young voyagers, as soon as they land- upon a shore, to begin their accounts of the nature of the people, their foil, their government, their inclinations, and their passions; so really I fancied I could give you an immediate description of this village, from the sive sields where the robbers lie in wait, to the coffee-house where the Literati sit in council. A great ancestor os ours by the mother's side, Mr. Justice O-verJa? (whose history is written by Ben Johnson) met with more enormities by walking incognito than he was capable of correcting; and found great mortisications in observing also persons of eminence, whom he before knew nothing of. Thus it fared with me', even in a place so near the town as this. When I came into the coffee-house, I had not time to falute the company, before my eye was diverted by ten thoufand gimeracks round the room, and on the cieling. When my siist-astouiihmenr was over, comes to me a
. Sage of a thin and meagre countenance; which aspect' made me doubt, whether reading or fretting had made it so philosophic T-But I very soon perceived him to be ef that sect which, the Antients call Gingi-vistæ; in our language, tooth drawers. I immediately had a respect for the man; for these practical philosophers go upon a very rational hypothesis, not to cure, but take away thepart affected. My love of mankind made me very benevolent to Mr. Stiller; for such is the name of this. tminent Barber and Antiquary. Men are usually, but nnjutlly, distinguished rather by their fortunes than their talents, otherwise this personage would make a great figure in thatclass of men which I dilUngaim under thetitle of Odd Fellows. But it is the misfortune of persons of great genius to have their faculties dissipated by attention to too many things at once. Mr. Salttr is aninstance of this: If he would wholly give himself up to the string, instead of playing twenty beginnings to tunes, he. might, before he dies, play. Roger de Caubly. quite out. I heard him go through his whole round, and indeed I think he-does play the Merry Cbrij} Church bells pretty justly; but he consessed tome, he did that rather to shew he was orthodox, than that he valued himself upon the music itself. Or if he did proceed in his anatomy, why might he not hope in. time to cut off lejp, as well asdraw teeth? The particularity of this man put me into a deep thought,, whence it should proceed, that of all the lower order, Barbers mould go surther in hitting the ridiculous, than any other set of menWatermen brawl, coblers sing: But why. must a Baiber be for ever a. politician, a. musician, an anatomist, a: poet, and a physician I. The learned Fojjtui- fays, his barber used to comb his head in Iambics. And indeed in all ages, one of this usesul prosession, this order of. cosmetic philosophers,, has been celebrated by the motteminen: hands.. You. see the Barber in Don Quixote is one of the principal characters the history, which gave me fatisfaction in the doubt, why. Don- Saltero writ hisname with a termination ',. For he is descended:
in aright line, not from John Tradescant, as he himself asserts, but from that memorable companion of- the K;iight of Month*. And 1 hereby certify, all the worthy
citizens Citizens who travel to see his rarities, that his doublebarrelled pistols, targetst coats of mail,, his Sclcptia and sword of Toledo, were left to his ancestor by the £uivJ Don Quixote, and by the faid ancestor to all his progeny downto Don Sabero* Though I go thus far id favour of Don Saltero's great merit, 1 cannot allow a liberty he takes of imposing several names (without my licence) on, the collections ne has made, to the abuse of the good people of England; one of which is particularly calculated to. deceive religious persons, to the great scandal os th« well-disposed, and may introduce heterodox opinio«s. He shews you a straw-hat, which I know to be made by Madge Pejkad, within three milesof Bedford; and tells you, "It is Pontius Pilate's wise's chambermaid's sister's "hat." To my knowledge of this very hat it may be added, that the covering with straw was never used among the Jetus, since it was demanded of them to make bricks without it. Therefore this is really nothing bur,, under the specious pretence of learning and antiquity, to impose upon the wor.ld. There are other things which I.cannot tolerate among his rarities; as, the China sigure of a Lady, in the glass-case; the Italian engine for the imprisonment of those who go. abroad with it:: Both which I hereby order to be taken downK or else he may expect to have his Letters-patent for making punch superseded, be debarred wearing his. mass next winter, or «ver coming to London without his wife. It may perhaps be thought, I have dwelt too long upon the affaiis of this operator;, but I desire the reader to. remember,, that it is my way to consider men as they stand in merit,, and not according to their fortune or sigure ;. and if he is in a coffee-house at-the reading hereof, let him lo.ok round, and he will sind, there may be more characters drawn in this account, than that of Don Saltero; for half the politicians about him, he may observe, are by their pijee in nature, of the class of tooth-drawers..
Grecian Coffee-house, June 28.
THERE is an habit or custom which I have put my patience to the utmost stretch to have suffered so long, because several of my intimate friends are in. the guilt; and that is, the humour of taking Snuff, and looking dirty about the mouth by way of ornament.
My method is to dive to the bottom of a sore before J pretend to apply a remedy. For this'reason, I fat by art eminent story-teller and politician who takes halt" an ounce in sive seconds, and has mortgaged a pretty tenement hear the town, merely to improve and dung his brains with this prolisic powder. I observed this Gentleman, the other day, in the midst of a story diverted from it by looking at something at a distance, and I softly hid his box. But he returns to his tale, and looking for his box, he cries, " And so Sir—" Then when he should have taken a pinch; "As I was faying,
"fays he, Has no body seen my box f" His friend
beseeches him to sinish his narration: Then he proceeds -t "And so Sir,—Where can my box be?" Then turning to me; "Pray, Sir, did you see my box r" YW, Sir, faid I, I took it to see how long you could live without it. He resumes his tale, and I took notice that hi» dulness was much more regular and fluent than before. A pinch supplied the place of, ** As I was faying, and ** so Sirand he went on currently enough in that stile, which the Learned call the Insipid. This observation easily led me into a philosophic reason for taking SnusF, which is done only to supply with senfations'the want of reCection. This I take to be an Eivr,na, a Nostrum; upon which I hope to receive the thanks of this board. For as it is natural to lift a man'shand'to a fore, «fhen you sear any thing coming at you; so when
a person. a person seels his thoughts are run out, and he has no more to fay, it is as natural to supply his weak brain with powder at the nearest place of access, viz the nostrils. This is so evident, that Nature suggests the use according to the indigence of the persons who take this medicine, without being prepossessed with the force of fashion or custom. For example; the native Hibernians, who are reckoned not much unlike the ancient Bœslimn, take this specisic for emptiness in the head, in greater abundance than any other nation under the sun. The learned Sctus, as sparing as he is in his words, would be still jiiore silent if it were not for this powder.
Hotvever low and poor the taking Snuff argues a mart to be in his own stock of thoughts, or means to employ hit; brains and his singers; yet there is a poorer creature in the world than he, and this is a borrower of Snuff; a , sellow that keeps no box of his own, but is always asking others for a pinch. Such poor rogues put me always in mind of a common phrase among school-boys when they are composing their exercise, who .run to an upper scholar, and cry, " Pray give me a little sense.'' But of all things commend me to the Ladies who are got into this pretty help to discourse. I have been these three years persuading Sagijfa to leave it off; but sbe -talks so much, and is so learned, that she is above contradiction. However, an accident the other day brought that about, which my eloquence never could accomplish. Sbeflad a very Pretty Fellow in her closet, who ran thitherto avoid some company that came to visit her: She made an excuse to go into him for some implement- they were talking of. Her eager gallant snatched a kiss-; but being unused to Snuff, some grains from off her up,per lip made him sneeze aloud, which alarmed the visitants, and has made a discovery, that profound reading, very much intelligence, and a general knowledge of .who and who is together, cannot sill her vacant hours, so much, but tha.t she is sometimes obliged to descend to entertainments less intellectual.