driven from the ufual places of their refort. The following letter having been fent to me while I was at Mrs. Hedges's, I feize the first opportu nity to present it to the public. To the MATRON. IT is certainly true-as many people have obfeived that there is no fuch thing as happiness in this world; at least, I am fure that I am unfortunately excluded from felicity in it. other's hands, but by winks, nods, and other fignificant figns, difcover what they have no business to see or know, they act in a very unjustifiable manner, and make themselves not only very unfit for civil fociety, but exhibit principles little better than thofe by which a pick-pocket is inftigated, though not, perhaps, fo eafily detected, nor fo fafely to be expofed in the public manner they deferve. Those who mix in card-parties have generally an oftenfible good character, and poffefied of property fufficient to enable them to carry on an action for defamation, fuppofing the party accuting them I am of your own fex, good Mrs. hould not be able to make their Grey, about the middle age, rather charge clear, after having thrown handsome than ugly, I believe, in out fufpicions which they cannot the eyes of thofe who diflike me prove the only way then, I think, moft; and I think I may be allowed is to decline playing where fuch peo- to fay that I am neither foolish ple make their appearance; and if nor ill-natured. About twenty years this mode of proceeding was always ago I was the choice of a very reattended to, fuch people would ei- fpe&table man, with a fortune conther leave off fo fcandalous a prac-fiderably fuperior to my own. This, tice, or only affociate with thofe of their own ftamps you will fay, had a premifing ap pearance, and encouraged me to be lieve that happiness might be my lot: but, alas! there is no fuch thing for me. I really think I am mortally hated by every woman of am fure Lam the civilest of all civil. creatures to all men breathing, yet I never obferved that one of them gives himself any fort of trouble about me. I have a very extensive acquaintance, and, what is called, a great number of friends: however, when we come together upon a more I once knew a lady, a woman in very genteel life, obliged to fhift her quarters upon fuch an occafion; fhe was known to have fome fortune, but by no means equal to the ap-my acquaintance; and, though I pearance fhe made. Upon her taking a good houfe, at a fina!l diftance from London, in a respectable neighboured, he took methods to inform the genteel families in the place that he expected to be vifited by them.-Not a single perfon, however, paid her that compli. ment. When the cause of their con-intimate footing, I find that they duct was inquired into, it came out, that they had heard of her having kept herself in cloaths out of her winnings at cards, &c.-This intelligence being circulated from one end of the village to the other, fheally oppofed and thwarted. If I was obliged to decamp. Were characters like thefe properly fhunned, a reformation, I truft, would foon be brought about: they would be generally turn out enemies. I am actually of opinion that people love quarrelling better than any thing in the world; for let me endeavour to be ever fo obliging, I am continu afk a female friend to go with me to one place, the is commonly engaged to another; if he is kind enough to comply with my invitation, it is ten to one but the forgets her promife, and goes fomewhere elfe, as if on purpofe to difappoint me: and then The will come to me at a time when fhe knows it is neither agreeable nor convenient to fee her. If I take notice of fuch an intrufion, the reply is, that I am fo capricious, there ised, it is impoffible, you know, my dear Madam, not to complain-and complaint is a capital crime indeed: fnience, though our affairs are not a little deranged by them. Our table, our fervants, our amusements, are all upon a wrong plan, in the opinion of thefe people, who only seem to affociate with us in order to torment us.--While we are so treat no fuch thing as keeping any appointment with me. Now I cannot poffibly fee any of this capricioufness in myself: I do as I like, and it is very odd that every thing which pleafes me fhould hap pen to difplease the majority of my acquaintance. I am, therefore, well affured that all the world, as I faid before, loves quarrelling and finding fault, better than any thing.Yet I may venture to fay that I am reckoned, in general, to be of a mild, eafy temper. I feldom or ever difpure with my husband; indeed, he will not let me. He either tells me, in a peremptory tone, it must be so, or elfe pats me on the cheek, and and fays, "go, you will think better of it by and by." He is what is called-kind to me he makes me many valuable prefents, befides his allowance for my wardrobe, &c.and yet I can never afford to purchafe half the things I want. He alfo gives me leave to invite fome of my relations, and our joint friends, to stay at our houfe, though I believe there is nothing upon earth more tiresome to him, as he loves to keep very early hours, and to live in his own way for thofe vifitors contrive to give us both an infinite deal of trouble-they want to go here, and to go there, and make very free with our carriage and borfes. They are never ready, either at breakfast, dinner, or fupper: they wonder why we eat at this hour, and why we chufe to go to bed at that hour; in hort, every ftep we take in our own houfe is, they would infinuate, quite wrong; and they appear to make us, and all that belongs to us, fuit their conve7 then, every thing is fo ftrangethey only obferved things, which, in their humble opinion, were not proper; and mentioned them merely out of friendflrp.If fay I am obliged to them for their intended kindness, they proceed to pull every thing about us to pieces; it I fay we live as we like, and are forty that our mode of living is not agreeable to them, they make a quarrel of it directly: "they are fure they only spoke out of the pureft regard, but they plainly fee that I chufe to be imposed upon by every body bur them:" adding, "but it is ever fo where people are fo conceited, and fo attached to their own ways of thinking: bur, for their parts, they fhall not take any farther notice while they are in the family, let what will happen, as those who receive advice with fo ill a grace do not deserve to have it given to them.”—In anfwer to fuch provoking fpeeches, I have fometimes, with the greatest humility, acknowledged that I wish not to be adviled, and fhould be glad to be left to act in the manner moft agreeable to myfelf; the reply then is "O!-now I fee you are quite angry; but I cannot help that I have done my duty-1 am fure it is out of the fin cereft friendship I spoke-but some people are fo touchy, there is no knowing what to fay to them, or what to do with them." -Then they flounce out of the room, and fend, in a thort time afterwards, to have the carriage for the whole morning, though they heard me fay I was going out in it on particular bufi To the MATRON. Madam, Bufinefs-Moft people, I believe, [ber. I must make room for the fol...” would plead fuch an engagement as lowing fhort epittle from a new cofa refufl; but I give it up to them, refpondent. as they are my guests.-When they return, upon fuch occafions, one would expect them to be good-humoured and grateful, for having denied myself in order to oblige them. -They only feem to recollect what had pafied between us before, and are either fulkily filent, or faappifhly impertinent. They never chufe, however, to take a hint, by taking themselves away You will, perhaps, tell me, my dear Madam, that these people are of a particular fort, and that I am very unfortunate in my friends and acquaintance - indeed I am: for, I do affure you, that I have met with many of this ftamp-fcarcely with any other a very few only excepted, with whom I wish to be upon a more intimate footing, but whom I cannot prevail upon to join our parties at least, not often. My Husband tells me that intimacies produce all the grievances of which I complain that few perfons will bear too close an examination: and that though I imagine I should be happy with the fociety of thofe whom with to fee more frequently, I might find myself mistaken. What is then to be done?-Am I to live in the midft of opulence, immured alone, or run the rifque of being perpetually teazed or infulted by my company, and my friends? You, my good Mrs. Grey, who feem to have paffed through life in a very pleasant manner, as well as in a prudent one, will, I hope, favour me with your opinion with regard to my fingular fituation-fingular fituation? I recall the words-I believe there are too many fimilar ones. I am, dear Madam, your conflant reader and admirer, H. S. with fome fortune, and better expectI am a well-made young fellow, ations, which makes me an object of attention in the eyes of every I cannot go into any circle where young woman who wants to be fettled. thefe females are affembled, without having broad hints given of what fort of a man they fiould chufe, like to lead when they were married. and what fort of a life they fhould Now, as I do not intend either to thefe fharp-fet fpinfiers, I beg, marry, or even to live with any of through the medium of your popular paper, to tell them plainly, once for all, that 1 heartily with they would let me alone: and not point, either their eyes or wishes, at Your very humble fervant, SMARTISH. N. B. This gentleman, though feemingly in hafte, muft alfo wait for an anfwer, till room can be made for him in the Lady's Magazine. To the MATRON. HAVING the highest opinion of your judgment, in pointing out a proper conduct for young people, and being myself accused of having acted with imprudence, I take the Koerty of laying my cafe before you which, if you will deign to notice, I fhall efteem as the greatest favour → and be affured, I fhall pay the most implicit deference to your determination, whether I have been to blame or not. N. B. An answer to this letter I am a clergyman's daughter, may be expected in my next Num-who has been brought up in a very reclufe reclufe manner, which does not in the leaft fuit my difpofition; as I always liked, what we call in the country, a nice game at romps_or fone fuch lively amufement. But to be brief, the great imprudence of which I am accufed, is too much familiarity with a married man: and all this arofe only because I ufed to play with him and would amuse myfelf for a whole evening together in combing his hair. This gave umbrage to his wife, who very faucily told me, that the thought it was imprudent to do fo, efpecially before the fervants, as fhe faid that clafs of people were very apt to repeat fuch things to the prejudice of young ladies' reputations. I faw plainly that he was jealous, and therefore was determined to plague her, fo I took an opportunity to quarrel with her and never fpoke to her after, but continued to encourage Mr.to follow me every where, which I knew would teaze her handfomely; fhe had then the impudence to write to me, and, would you believe it? he told me that I was not fenfible of the facred tye between man and wife, or the very thought of creating any diffenfions between them would make me fhudder." To his nonfenfe I made no reply, but continued to enjoy my fun, and went out the more with Mr.; at last the people began to infinuate ill-natured things of me. and Mr. and Mrs.had fuch a serious altercation about me, that they were very near parting. But all of a fudden; when I was enjoying the thoughts of teazing this jealous woman, her husband and the made it up; and I believe through her perfualion they both left the place a fhort time after. dont you think fuch fools fhould all meet with a girl of my turn? and yet fome of your fqueamish ladies take her part, and fay that it was cruel in me to disturb her peace of mind by making fo free with her hufband. If you approve of my fpirited conduct on this occafion I shall not care what is faid of me in future; as I can then affert that it is all spite and fcandal. With hopes of meeting your approbation, I remain Madam yours fincerely, On FLATTERY. [Trenflated from the French. See Vol. XX. page 575.] coming a Chriftian and an ho LATTERY is not lefs unbe neft man, than falfhood, fince it is that, in a most hideous shape. Flattery is contrary to truth, fincerity, and juftice. 1ft. That it is opposed to truth and fincerity, is obvious, fince flatterers, are those to whom all things are false and affected, as their laughter, tears, joy, dejection, affiduity, referve, words, and filence fufticiently evince: they acquicfce in the humours of all others, pleafing only thofe they might pleafe, by extolling, and condemning; but such they perceive are blamed, always referved, and extremely cautious in not appearing, what in effect they are, commending the most thofe they defpife, and rendering a thoufand civilities, to fuch they fecretly hate. 2d. Flattery is equally oppofite to juftice, and fincerity; as what it terms virtue, in reality is vice. Flatterers in like manner ftyle the fuperfluities of thofe who entertain them liberality, their avarice œconomy, their wantonnefs diverfion, their licentioufnefs enjoyment, roguery addrefs, and ftupidity gord fenfe. They excufe in like manner their Now, my dear Madam, pray tell me what harm any one can fay of me. Am I to blame, if a poor weak woman will make herself unhappy at nothing? what crime could there be in teazing fuch a creature-lives, and make a finner a faint, and VOL. XXI. F a devi) a devil an angel. Thus they corrupt true praife, the only recompence of virtue. 3d. Flattery is likewife contrary to charity; for does it not actually revile it, by leading men to believe themselves what they really are not, and to perfuade them as replete with virtue, when perhaps corrupted with vice? Is not this a fhameful innovation? Flattery fanctions wickedness, and excites timidity to commit it, eafing those of that full abhorrence of the crime whofe minds are but little corrupted. It conceives it might Imitate thofe, who, committing errors, receive approbation and fupport. It appears from hence that this viec, to the highest degree, is fhame. ency in that art, and to testify how much they were fenfible of his capacity, by entrusting their lives in his hands. The wifeft among the Pagans have recommended complacency to all, but flattery to none. So holds Seneca. The eloquent Cicero declares, there is not a greater bane in friendfhip and it is related that when Antipater one day befought Phocion to do fomething contrary to juftice through regard for him, he replied, "6 you can never have Phocion for thy friend, and flatter him at the fame time." J. D. ful, unworthy a man of the leaft OCCASIONAL PAPERS, fenfe of honour, and denotes a pitifully bafe foul. The Pagans have particularly held it in contempt. They pronounced flattery to be of the most dangerous tendency, and flatterers the greatest enemies they could have. They have, in comparifon, rated them with crows, as frequenting only fuch places which contain food to devour, and, like Prometheus in fable, who took many forms, and as often changed them, as best fuited the perfon or thing; and that their lives are in perpetual difguife, to accommodate themselves to the caprice of thofe they depend on. In like manner did Clifophus feign lamencfs under pretext of pleafiug Philip, with a broken thigh, and diftorted his eyes and mouth like that king. The fame did the flatterers and courtezans of Alexander the Great, and Alphonfus, king of Arragon, carry their heads reclined on their necks, in imitation of those monarchs. As likewife, it is related, that becaufe Mithridates was fond of chirurgical operations, his friends, when hurt, often expofed themfelves to his incifions to flatter his fuffici Addreed to the LADIES. ON TRIFLING ACQUISITIONS F it must be confeffed that we fre quently pride ourselves on the acquifition of things of little importance, which confer no merit and and can lead to no fame, it must at the fame time be owned that we are frequently effecmed and regarded in the world, not according to our real worth, but according to our having rendered ourfelves remarkable by fome trifling accomplishments. How many men are careffed by their acquaintances, and invited into all companies, merely from their being able to fing a good fong; and when a lady wishes to make up what the calls an agreeable party, does the not felect one perfon because the plays a good hand at whift, and another because she will make a fourth at a pool of quadrille? It is furprifing how many people there are who find their way through the world сп |