fatisfaction being univerfal in that place; and it is thought the officers foment thofe diforders, that the miniftry may be convinced of the neceffity of paying those troops, and fupplying them with provifions. Thefe advices add, that, on the fourteenth the Marquis d'Efte paffed exprefs through Bruffels from the Duke of Savoy, with advice that the army of his Royal Highness had forced the retrenchments of the enemy in Savoy, and defeated that body of men which guarded thofe paffes under the command of the Marquis de Thouy.

N° 54. Saturday, August 13, 1709.

White's Chocolate-houfe, August 12.

Of the government of Affection.

HEN labour was pronounced to be the portion of man, that doom reached the Affections of his mind, as well as his perfon, the matter on which he was to feed, and all the animal and vegetable world about him. There is therefore an affiduous care and cultivation to be bestowed upon our paffions and Affections; for they, as they are the excrefcencies of our Souls, like our hair and beards, look horrid or becoming, as we cut or let them grow. All this grave preface is meant to affign a reafon in nature for the unaccountable behaviour of Duumvir, the husband and keeper. Ten thousand follies had this unhappy man escaped, had he made a compact with himself to be upon his guard, and not permitted his vagrant eye to let in fo many different inclinations upon him, as all his days he has been perplexed with. But indeed, at prefent, he has brought himself to be confined only to one prevailing miftrefs; between whom and his wife, Duumvir paffes his hours in all the viciffitudes which attend paffion and Affection,

without

without the intervention of reafon. Laura his wife, and Phillis his miftrefs, are all with whom he has had, for fome months, the leaft amorous commerce. Duumvir has paffed the noon of life; but cannot withdraw from thofe entertainments which are pardonable only before that flage of our Being, and which after that feafon are rather punishments than fatisfactions: For palled appetite is humorous, and must be gratified with fauces rather than food. For which end Duumvir is provided with an haughty, imperious, expenfive, and fantastic miftrefs, to whom he retires from the converfation of an affable, humble, difcreet, and affectionate wife. Laura receives him after abfence with an eafy and unaffected complacency; but that he calls infipid: Phillis rates him. for his abfence, and bids him return from whence he came; this he calls fpirit and fire: Laura's gentleness is thought mean; Phillis's infolence, fprightly. Were you to fee him at his own home, and his miftrefs's lodgings, to Phillis he appears an obfequious lover, to Laura an imperious mafter. Nay, fo unjuft is the taste of Duumvir, that he owns Laura has no ill quality, but that he is his wife; Phillis no good one, but that he is his mistress. And he has himfelf often faid, were he married to any one elfe, he would rather keep Laura than any woman living; yet allows at the fame time, that Phillis, were fhe a woman of honour, would have been the most infipid animal breathing. The other day Laura, who has a voice like an angel, began to fing to him Fie, Madam, he cried, we must be paft all these gaieties. Phills has a note as rude and as loud as that of a milk-maid: When he begins to warble: Well, fays he, there is fuch a pleafing fimplicity in all that wench does. In a word, the affectionate part of his heart being corrupted, and his true tafte that way wholly loft, he has contracted a prejudice to all the behaviour of Laura, and a general partiality in favour of Phillis. It is not in the power of the wife to do a pleafing thing, nor in the mifirefs to commit one that is difagreeable. There is fomething too melancholy in the reflection on this circumftance to be the fubject of raillery. He faid a four thing to Laura at dinner the other day; upon which the burst into tears. What the devil, Madam,

fays

fays he, cannot I speak in my own houfe? He answered Phillis a little abruptly at fupper the fame evening, upon which he threw his periwig into the fire. Well, faid he, thou art a brave termagant jade: Do you know, huffy, that fair wig cost forty guineas? Oh Laura! is it for this that the faithful Cromius fighed for you in vain ? How is thy condition altered, fince crouds of youth hung on thy eye, and watched its glances? It is not many months fince Laura was the wonder and pride of her own Sex, as well as the defire and paffion of ours. At Plays and at Balls, the juft turn of her behaviour, the decency of her virgin charms, chaftifed, yet added to diverfions. At public devotions, her winning modefty, her refigned carriage, made virtue and religion appear with new ornaments, and in the natural apparel of fimplicity and beauty. In ordinary converfations, a fweet conformity of manners, and an humility which heightened all the complacencies of good-breeding and education, gave her more flaves than all the pride of her Sex ever made women with for. Laura's hours are now spent in the fad reflection on her choice, and that deceitful vanity, almoft infeparable from the Sex, of believing, fhe could reclaim one that had so often enfnared others; as it now is, it is not even in the power of Duumvir himself to do her juftice: For though beauty and merit are things real and independent on taste and opinion, yet agreeableness is arbitrary, and the mistress has much the advantage of the wife. But whenever fate is fo kind to her and her spouse as to end her days, with all this paffion for Phillis, and indifference for Laura, he has a fecond wife in view, who may avenge the injuries done to her predeceffor. Aglaura is the deftined Lady, who has lived in affemblies, has ambition and play for her entertainment, and thinks of a man, not as the object of love, but the tool of her intereft or pride. If ever Aglaura comes to the empire of this Inconftant, fhe will endear the memory of her predeceffor. But in the mean time it is melancholy to confider, that the virtue of a wife is like the merit of a Poet, never juftly valued until after death.

From

From my own Apartment, August 11.

As we have profeffed, that all the actions of men are our fubject, the moft folemn are not to be omitted, if there happen to creep into their behaviour any thing improper for fuch occafions. Therefore the offence mentioned in the following Epiftles, though it may feem to be committed in a place facred from obfervation, is such, that it is our duty to remark upon it; for though he who does it is himself only guilty of an Indecorum, he occafions a criminal levity in all others who are present at it.

I

Mr. BICKER STAFF,

T being mine, as well as the opinion of many others, that your Papers are extremely well fitted to reform any irregular or indecent practice, I prefent the fol"lowing as one which requires your correction. My.

felf, and a great many good people who frequent the "divine Service at Saint Paul's, have been a long time "fcandalized by the imprudent conduct of Stentor in "that cathedral. This Gentleman, you must know, is always very exact and zealous in his devotion, which I believe no body blames; but then he is accuftomed to roar and bellow fo terribly loud in the Refponfes, that he frightens even us of the congrega❝tion who are daily used to him: And one of our petty "Canons, a punning Cambridge fcholar, calls his way "of worship a Bull-offering. His harth untunable pipe "is no more fit than a raven's to join with the music of

66

66

a choir; yet no body having been enough his friend, "I fuppofe, to inform him of it; he never fails, when "prefent, to drown the harmony of every hymn and "anthem, by an inundation of found beyond that of "the Bridge at the ebb of the tide, or the neighbouring lions in the anguifh of their hunger. This is a grievance, which, to my certain knowledge, feveral "worthy people defire to fee redreffed; and if by in"ferting this epiftle in your Paper, or by representing "the matter your own way, you can convince Stentor,

66

"that

that difcord in a choir is the fame fin that fchifm is in "the church in general, you would lay a great obliga❝tion upon us; and make fome atonement for certain "of your paragraphs, which have not been highly approved by us. I am,

St. Paul's Church

yard, Aug. 11.

Sir,

your most humble fervant,

Geoffry Chanticleer.

It is wonderful there fhould be fuch a general lamentation, and the grievance fo frequent, and yet the offender never know any thing of it. I have received the following Letter from my kinfman at the Heralds-office, near the fame place.

Dear Coufin,

HIS Office, which has had its share in the im

Tpartial juftice of your cenfures, demands at pre

fent your vindication of their rights and privileges. "There are certain hours when our young Heralds are "exercifed in the faculties of making proclamation, "and other vociferations, which of right belong to us "only to utter: But at the fame hours, Stentor in Saint "Paul's church, in fpite of the coaches, carts, London "cries, and all other founds between us, exalts his "throat to fo high a key, that the moft noify of our "Order is utterly unheard. If you pleafe to obferve upon this, you will ever oblige, &c.”

-There have been communicated to me fome other ill confequences from the fame caufe; as, the overturning of coaches by fudden ftarts of the horfes as they paffed that way, women pregnant frightened, and heirs to fa milies loft; which are public difafters, though arifing from a good intention: But it is hoped, after this admonition, that Stentor will avoid an act of fo great fu pererogation, as finging without a voice.

But