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I own this is clean, and Mr. Greenhat has convinced me that I have writ nonsense, yet am I not at all offended at him.

Scimus, & hanc veniam petimufque; damufque; viciffim. HOR. Ars Poet. ver. 11.

I own th' indulgenceSuch I give and take.

FRANCIS.

This is the true art of raillery, when a man turns another into ridicule, and fhews at the fame time he is in good humour, and not urged on by malice against the perfon he rallies. Obadiah Greenbat has hit this very well: For to make an apology to Ifaac Bickerftaff, an unknown Student and horary Hiftorian, as well as Aftrologer, and with a grave face to fay, he speaks of him by the fame rules with which he would treat Homer of Plato, is to place him in company where he cannot expect to make a figure; and makes him flatter himself, that it is only being named with them which renders him most ridiculous.

I have not known, and I am now paft my grand cli macteric, being fixty-four years of age, according to my way of life; or rather, if you will allow punning in an old Gentleman, according to my way of paftime; I fay, as old as I am, I have not been acquainted with many of the Greenbats. There is indeed one Zedekiah Greenbat, who is lucky alfo in his way. He has a very agreeable manner; for when he has a mind thoroughly to correct a man, he never takes from him any thing, but he allows him fomething for it; or elfe he blames him for things wherein he is not defective, as well as for matters wherein he is. This makes a weak man believe he is in jeft in the whole. The other day he told Beau Prim, who is thought impotent, that his mistress had declared he would not have him, becaufe he was a floven, and had committed a rape. The Beau bit at the banter, and faid very gravely, he thought to be clean was as much as was neceffary; and that as to the rape, he wondered by what witchcraft that should come to her

ears;

ears; but it had indeed cost him an hundred pounds to huth the affair.

The Greenbats are a family with fmall voices and fhort arms, therefore they have power with none but their friends: They never call after thofe who run away from them, or pretend to take hold of you, if you refift. But it has been remarkable, that all who have fhunned their company, or not liftened to them, have fallen into the hands of fuch as have knocked out their brains, or broken their bones. I have looked over our pedigree upon the receipt of this epiftle, and find the Greenbats are a-kin to the Staffs. They defcend from Maudlin, the left-handed wife of Nehemiah Bickerftaff, in the reign of Harry the Second. And it is remarkable, that they are all left-handed, and have always been very expert at fingle rapier. A man must be very much ufed to their play to know how to defend himself, for their pofture is fo different from that of the right-handed, that you run upon their fwords if you push forward; and they are in with you, if you offer to fall back without keeping your guard.

There have been alfo Letters lately fent to me which relate to other people: Among the reft, fome whom I have heretofore declared to be fo, are deceased. I must

not therefore break through rules fo far, as to fpeak ill of the Dead. This maxim extends to all but the late Partridge, who ftill denies his death. I am informed indeed by feveral, that he walks; but I fhall with all convenient speed lay him.

St. James's Coffee houfe, Auguft 24.

We hear from Tournay, that on the night between the twenty-fecond and twenty-third, they went on with their works in the enemy's mines, and levelled the earth which was taken out of them. The next day, at eight in the morning, when the French obferved we were relieving our trenches, they sprung a larger mine than any they had fired during the fiege, which killed only four private centinels. The enfuing night we had three men and two Officers killed, as alfo feven men wounded. Between the twenty-fourth and twenty-fifth, we repaired VOL. II.

D

fome

fome works which the enemy had ruined. On the next day, fome of the enemy's magazines blew up; and it is thought they were deftroyed on purpose by fome of their anen, who are impatient of the hardships of the present fervice. There happened nothing remarkable for two or three days following. A deferter, who came out of the citadel on the twenty-feventh, fays the garrison is brought to the utmost neceffity; that their bread and water are both very bad: And that they were reduced to eat horfe flesh. The manner of fighting in this fiege has difcovered a gallantry in our men unknown to former ages; their meeting with adverfe parties under ground, where every step is taken with apprehenfions of being blown up with mines below them, or crushed by the fall of the earth above them, and all this acted in darkness, has fomething in it more terrible than ever is met with in any other part of a foldier's duty. However, this is performed with great chearfulness. In other parts of the war we have alfo good profpects: Count Thaun has taken Annecy, and the Count de Merci marched into Franche Compte, while his Electoral Highness is much fuperior in number to Monfieur d'Harcourt; fo that both on the fide of Savoy and Germany, we have reason to expect very fuddenly fome great event.

N° 60. Saturday, Auguft 27, 1709.

White's Chocolate-house, August 26.

To proceed regularly in the hiftory of my Worthies.

I ought to give an account of what has paffed from day to day in this place; but a young fellow of my acquaintance has fo lately been refcued out of the hands of the Knights of the Industry, that I rather chuse to relate the manner of his efcape from them, and the uncommon way which was used to reclaim him, than to go on in my intended diary.

You

You are to know then, that Tom Wildair is a fudent of the Inner Temple, and has spent his time, fince he left the University for that place, in the common diversions of men of fashion; that is to fay, in whoring, drinking, and gaming. The two former vices he had from his father; but was led into the laft by the converfation of a partizan of the Myrmidons, who had chambers near him. His allowance from his father was a very plentiful one for a man of sense, but as fcanty for a modern fine Gentleman. His frequent loffes had reduced him to fo neceffitous a condition, that his lodgings were always haunted by impatient creditors; and all his thoughts employed in contriving low methods, to fupport himself in a way of life from which he knew not how to retreat, and in which he wanted means to proceed. There is never wanting fome good-natured perfon to fend a man an account of what he has no mind to hear; therefore many epiftles were conveyed to the father of this Extravagant, to inform him of the company, the pleasures, the diftreffes, and entertainments, in which his fon paffed his time. The old fellow received these advices with all the pain of a parent, but frequently confulted his pillow to know how to behave himself on fuch important occafions, as the welfare of his fon, and the fafety of his fortune. After many agitations of mind, he reflected, that neceffity was the ufual fnare which made men fall into meannefs, and that a liberal fortune generally made a liberal and honeft mind; he refolved therefore to fave him from his ruin, by giving him opportunities of tafting what it is to be at eafe, and enclofed to him the following order upon Sir Triftram Cash.

SIR,

"Pray pay to Mr. Thomas Wildair, or order, the fum "of one thousand pounds, and place it to the account of

Yours, Humphry Wildair.

Tom was fo aftonished at the receipt of this order, that though he knew it to be his father's hand, and that he had always large fums at Sir Triftram's; yet a thousand

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N° 60. pounds was a truft of which his conduct had always made him appear fo little capable, that he kept his note by him, until he writ to his father the following Letter:

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Honoured father,

Have received an order under your hand for a thousand pounds, in words at length; and I think "I could fwear it is your own hand. I have looked it over and over twenty thousand times. There is in plain letters, T,H,O,U,S,A,N,D; and after it, the let"ters P,o,u,N,D,S. I have it ftill by me, and fhall, I "believe, continue reading it until I hear from you.”

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The old Gentleman took no manner of notice of the receipt of his letter; but fent him another order for three thousand pounds more. His amazement on this fecond letter was unfpeakable. He immediately doublelocked his door, and fat down carefully to reading and comparing both his orders. After he had read them until he was half mad, he walked fix or feven turns in his chamber, then opens his door, then locks it again; and to examine thoroughly this matter, he locks his door again, puts his table and chairs against it; then goes into his clofet, and locking himfelf in, read his notes over again about nineteen times, which did but increase his aftonishment. Soon after, he began to re collect many ftories he had formerly heard of perfons, who had been poffeffed with imaginations and appearances which had no foundation in Nature, but had been taken with fudden madness in the midft of a feeming clear and untainted reafon. This made him very gravely conclude he was out of his wits; and with a defign to compofe himself, he immediately betakes him to his night-cap, with a refolution to fleep himself into his former poverty and fenfes. To bed therefore he goes at noon-day; but foon rofe again, and refolved to vifit Sir Triftram upon this occafion. He did fo, and dined with the Knight, expecting he would mention some advice from his father about paying him money; but no fuch thing being faid, Look you, Sir Triftram, faid he, you are to know, that an affair has happened, which

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