oblige me to own, that black Kate at Deptford has "made me very unfafe to eat; and, I fpeak it with "fhame, I am afraid, Gentlemen, I should poifon you."

This speech had a good effect in the Boatswain's favour; but the Surgeon of the fhip protefted, he had cured him very well, and offered to eat the firft fteak of him himself.

The Boatswain replied, like an orator, with a true notion of the people, and in hopes to gain time, that he was heartily glad if he could be for their fervice, and thanked the Surgeon for his information. However, faid he, I must inform you, for your own good, that I have ever fince my cure been very thirsty and dropfical; therefore I prefume, it would be much better to tap me and drink me off, than eat me at once, and have no man in the fhip fit to be drank. As he was going on with his harangue, a fresh gale arose, and gave the crew hopes of a better repaft at the nearest shore, to which they arrived next morning.

Most of the felf-denials we meet with are of this fort; therefore I think he acts faireft who owns, he hopes at leaft to have brother's fare, without profeffing that he gives himfelf up with pleafure to be devoured for the prefervation of his fellows.

St. James's Coffee-houfe, August 31.

Letters from the Hague of the fixth of September, N. S. fay, that the Governor of the citadel of Tournay, having offered their Highneffes the Duke of Marlborough and the Prince of Savoy to furrender that place on the thirtyfirst of the last month, on terms which were not allowed them by thofe princes, hoftilities were thereupon renewed; but that on the third the place was furrendered, with a feeming condition granted to the befieged above that of being prifoners of war: For they were forthwith to be conducted to Conde, but were to be exchanged for prisoners of the Allies, and particularly thofe of Warneton were mentioned in the demand. Both armies having ftretched towards Mons with the utmost diligence, that of the Allies, though they paffed the much more dif

ficult road, arrived firft before that town, which they have now actually invefted; and the Quarter-mafter General was, at the time of dispatching thefe letters, marking the ground for the encampment of the covering army.

To the Bookfellers, or others whom this advertisement may concern.

"Mr. Omicron, the unborn Poet, gives notice, that "he writes all treatifes, as well in verfe as profe, being a ninth fon, and tranflates out of languages, with"out learning or ftudy.

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"If any Bookfeller will treat for his Paftoral on the "fiege and furrender of the citadel of Tournay, he must "fend in his propofals before the news of a capitulation "for any other town.

"The undertaker for either play-houfe may have 66 an Opera written by him; or, if it fhall fuit their "defign, a fatire upon Opera's; both ready for next "winter.

"This is to give notice, that Richard Farloe, M. A. "well known for his acutenefs in diffection of dead bo"dies, and his great skill in ofteology, has now laid by "that practice; and having, by great ftudy and much "labour, acquired the knowledge of an Antidote for "all the most common maladies of the ftomach, is re"moved and may be applied to, at any time of the day, "in the fouth entrance from Newgate-street into Chrift's "hospital."

Saturday,

N° 63. Saturday, September 3, 1709.

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White's Chocolate-houfe, September 2.

Of the enjoyment of life with regard to others.

Have ever thought it the greateft dimunition to the Roman glory imaginable, that in their inflitution of public triumphs, they led their enemies in chains when they were prifoners. It is to be allowed, that doing all honour to the fuperiority of Heroes above the rest of mankind, muft needs conduce to the glory and advantage of a nation; but what fhocks the imagination to reflect upon is, that a polite people fhould think it reafonable, that an unhappy man, who was no way inferior to the victor but by the chance of war, should be led like a flave at the wheels of his chariot. Indeed, these other circumstances of a triumph, That it was not allowed in a civil war, left part of it should be in tears, while the other was making acclamations; that it should not be granted, except fuch a number were flain in battles that the General should be difgraced who made a false mufter of his dead; thefe, I fay, had great and politic ends in their being established, and tended to the apparent benefit of the common-wealth. But this behaviour to the conquered, had no foundation in Nature or Policy, only to gratify the infolence of an haughty people, who triumphed over barbarous nations, by acting what was fit only for thofe very barbarians to practife. It seems wonderful, that they who were fo refined as to take care that, to complete the honour done to the victorious officer, no power fhould be known above him in the empire on the day of his triumph, but that the confuls themselves fhould be but guefts at his table that evening, could not take it into thought to make the man of chief note among his prifoners one of the company. This would

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would have improved the gladness of the occafion; and the victor had made a much greater figure, in that no other man appeared unhappy on his day, than because no other man appeared great.

But we will wave at prefent fuch important incidents, and turn our thoughts rather to the familiar part of human life, and we shall find, that the great business we contend for is in a lefs degree what thofe Romans did on more folemn occafions, to triumph over our fellow creatures; and there is hardly a man to be found, who would not rather be in pain to appear happy, than be really happy and appear miferable. This men attempt by fumptuous equipages, splendid houfes, numerous fervants, and all the cares and purfuits of an ambitious or fashionable life.

Bromeo and Tabio are particularly ill-wishers to each other, and rivals in happiness. There is no way in nature fo good to procure the esteem of the one, as to give him little notices of certain fecret points, wherein the other is uneafy. Gnatho has the skill of doing this, and never applauds the improvements Bromeo has been many years making, and ever will be making, but he adds, Now this very thing was my thought when Tabio was pulling up his underwood, yet he never would hear of it; but now your gardens are in this pofture, he is ready to hang himself. Well, to be fincere, that "fituation of his can never make an agreeable feat; "he may make his house and appurtenances what he pleafes, but he cannot remove them to the fame

ground where Bromeo ftands; and of all things un"der the fun, a man that is happy at fecond-hand is "the most monftrous." It is a very ftrange madness, anfwers Bromeo, if a man on these occafions can think of any end but pleafing himself. As for my part, if things are convenient, I hate all oftentation. There is no end of the folly of adapting our affairs to the imagination of others. Upon which, the next thing he does is to enlarge whatever he hears his rival has attempted to imitate him in; but their misfortune is, that they are in their time of life, in their estates, and in their undertandings equal; fo that the emulation may continue to the laft day of their lives. As it stands now, Tabio has

heard,

N° 63. heard, that Bromeo has lately purchafed two hundred a year in the Annuities fince he laft fettled the account of their happiness, in which he thought himself to have the balance. This may feem a very fantastical way of thinking in these men; but there is nothing fo common, as a man's endeavouring rather to go further than fome other person towards an eafy fortune, than to form any certain ftandard that would make himself happy.

Will's Coffee-house, September 2.

Mr. Dactyle has been this evening very profufe of his eloquence upon the talent of turning things into ridicule; and feemed to fay very justly, that there was generally in it fomething too difingenuous for the fociety of liberal men, except it were governed by the circumftances of perfons, time, and place. This talent, continued he, is to be used as a man does his fword, not to be drawn but in his own defence, or to bring pretenders and impoftors in fociety to a true light. But we have feen this faculty fo mistaken, that the burlesque of Virgil himself has paffed, among men of little tafte, for wit; and the nobleft thoughts that can enter into the heart of man levelled with ribaldry and bafenefs: Though by the rules of justice, no man ought to be ridiculed for any imperfection, who does not fet up for eminent fufficiency in that way wherein he is defective. Thus cowards, who would hide themselves by an affected terror in their mien and drefs; and pedants, who would fhew the depth of their knowledge by a fupercilious gravity, are equally the objects of laughter. Not that they are in themselves ridiculous for their want of courage, or weakness of understanding; but that they feem infenfible of their own place in life, and unhappily rank themselves with those, whofe abilities, compared to their defects, make them contemptible.

At the fame time, it must be remarked, that rifibility being the effect of reason, a man ought to be expelled from fober company, who laughs alone. Ha! ha! fays Will Truby, who fat by, will any man pretend to give me laws when I fhould laugh, or tell me what I fhould laugh at? Look ye, answered Humphry Slyboots, you are mightily

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