Page images
[ocr errors]

and that sacred persons move upon greater motives than that of Fame, no persons celebrated in Holy Writ, or any ecclesiastical men whatsoever, are to be introduced here.

At the lower end of the room is to be a side-table for persons cf great Fame, but dubious existence; such as Hercules, Theseus, Æneas, Achilles, Hector, and others. But because it is apprehended, that there may be great contention about precedence, the proposer humbly deiires the opinion of the Learned towards his assistance in placing every person according to his rank, that none may have just occasion of offence.

The merits of the cause shall be judged by plurality cf voices.

For the more impartial execution of this important affair, it is desired, that no man will offer his favourite Hero, Soldier, or Poet; and that the Learned will be pleased to fend to Mr. Bickerstaff, at Mr. Morphiiui near Stationers-hall, their several alts for the first table only, and in the order they wou J have them placed; after which the proposer will compare the several lists, and make another for she public, wherein every name shall be ranked according to the voices it has had. Under this chamber is to be a dark vault for the fame number of persons of evil Fame.

It is humbly submitted to consideration, whether the project would not be better if the persons of true Fame meet in a middle room, those of dubious existence in an upper room, and those of evil Fame in a lower dark room.

It is to be noted, that no historians are to Le admitted at any of these tables; because they are appointed to conduct the several persons to their seats, and are to be made use of as ushers to the assemblies.

I call upon the learned world to send me their assistance towards this design, it being-a matter of too great moment for any one person to determine. But I do assure them, their lists shall be examined with great fidelity, and those that are exposed to the Public, made with all the caution imaginable.

In the mean time, while I wait for these lists, I am employed in keeping people in a right way, to avoid ■the contrary .to Fame and Applause, to wit, Blame and

Derision. Derision. For this end, I work upon that useful project of the penny-post, by the benefit of which it is proposed, that a charitable society be established: From which society there (hall |>o every day circular Letters to all parts within the bills of mortality, to tell people of their faults in a friendly and private manner, Whereby they may know what the world thinks of them, before it is declared to the world that they are thus faulty. This method cannot fail of universal good consequences: For it is further added, that they who will not be reformed by it, must be contented to fee the several Letters printed, which were not regarded by them, that when they will Sot take private reprehension, they may be tried further by a public one. I am sorry, I am obliged to print the following epistles of that kind to some persons, and the more, because they are of the Fair Sex. This went on Friday last to a very sine Lady.


"JAM highly sensible, that there is ndthing of so "A tender a nature as the reputation and conduct of "Ladies; and that when there is the least staingot into *' their Fame, it is hardly ever to be washed out. When "I have said this, you will believe I am extremely con"cerned, to hear at every visit I make, that your man** ner of wearing your hair is a mere affectation of beauty, "as well as that your neglect of powder has been a *' common evil to your Sex. It is to you an advantage "to shew that abundance of fine tresses: But I beseech "you to consider, that theforeeof your beauty, and the "imitation of you, costs Eleomra great sums of money ** to her tire-woman for false locks, besides what is al"lowed to her maid for keeping the secret, that m* is "gray. I must take leave to add to this admonition, "that you are not to reign above four months and odd "days longer. Therefore I must desire you to raise and "friz your hair a little, for it is downright insolence to "be thus handsome without art; and you will forgive me "for intreating you to do now out of compassion, what "you must soon do out of necessity. I am, Madam,

Your most obedient, and most humble servant.


This person dresses just as she did before I writ; a» . does also the Lady to whom I addressed the following Billet the same day.

M A,B A M,

"T E T me beg of you to take off the patches at the *« JL> lower end of your left cheek, and I will allow "two more under your left eye, which will contribute "more to the symmetry of your face ; except you would ** please to remove the ten black atoms on your Lady* ** ship's chin, and wear one large patch instead of them. "If so, you may properly enough retain the theee patches «« abovementioned. I am, &c."

This, I thought, had all the civility and reason in the world in it; but whether my letters are intercepted, or whatever it is, the Lady patches as me used to do. It is to be observed by all the charitable society, as an instruction in their epistles, that they tell people of nothing but what is in their power to mend. I fliall give another instance of this way of writing: Two sisters in. EJsex-Jlreet are eternally gaping out of the window, as if they knew not the value of time, or would call in companions. Upon which I writ the following line;

Dear Creatures, *« On the receipt of this, fliut your casements."

But I went by yesterday, and found them still at the window. What can a man do in this cafe? but go on, and wrap himself up in his own integrity, with satisfaction only in this melancholy truth, that virtue is its own reward; and that if no one is the better for his admonitions, yet he is himself the more virtuous in that he gave those advices.

St. Jaaus't Coffee-house, September 1 z.

Letters of the thirteenth instant from the Duke of Marlborougb'i camp at Have advise, that the necessary dispositions were made for opening the uenchec before

Vol. II. $ * yons. Mons. The direction of the siege is to be committed to the Prince of Orange, who designed to take his post accordingly with thirty battalions and thirty squadrons on the day following. On the seventeenth Lieutenant■General Cadogan set out for Brussels, to hasten the ammunition and artillery which is to be employed in this enterprize; and the confederate army was extended from the Haifne to the Trouille, in order to cover the siege. The loss of the confederates in the late battle is not exactly known; but it appears by a list transmitted to the States-General, that the number of the killed and wounded in their service amounts to above eight thousand. -It is computed, that the English have lost fifteen hundred men, and the rest of the Allies above five thousand, including the wounded. The States-General have taken the most speedy and effectual measures for reinforcing their troops; and it is expected, that in eight or ten days the army will be as numerous as before the batstie. The affairs in Italy afford us nothing remarkable; only that it is hoped, the difference between the Courts of Vienna and Turin will be speedily accommodated. Letters from Poland present us with a near prospect of seeing King Augustus re-established on the throne, all parties being very industrious to reconcile themselves to bis interests.

Will's Coffee-house, September I i.

Of all the pretty arts in which our modern Writers excel, there is not any which is more to be recommended to the imitation of beginners, than the ikill of Transition from one subject to another. I know not whether I make myself well understood ; but it is certain, that the way of stringing a discourse, used in the Meftury Gallant, the Gentleman's Journal, and other learned writings ; not to mention how naturally things present themselves to such as harangue in pulpits, and other occasions which, occur to the Learned; are methods worthy commendation. I shall attempt this style myself in few lines. Suppose I were discoursing upon the King of Sweden'* pasting the Boristhenes. The Borifthenes is a great river, and puts me in mind of the Danube and the Rhine. The


« PreviousContinue »