6.6

"Mr. Winftanley's water-works on Tuesday was fortnight, and had with them a brother, or fome ac"quaintance that was as carelefs of that pretty crea"ture as a brother; which feeming brother ushered them to their coach) with great refpect. Prefent."

MADAM,

Have a very good eftate, and with myself your hufband: Let me know by this way where you. "live; for I fhall be miferable until we live together. Alexander Landlord.

This is the modern way of bargain and fale; a certain fhort-hand writing, in which Laconic elder brothers are very fuccefsful. All my fear is, that the nymph's elder fifter is unmarried; if she is, we are undone: but perhaps the carelefs fellow was her husband, and then the. will let us go on.

From my own Apartment, September 28:

The following Letter has given me a new fenfe of the nature of my Writings. I have the deepest regard to conviction, and shall never act against it. However, I do not yet understand what good man he thinks I have injured: But his epiftle has fuch weight in it, that I fhall always have refpect for his admonition, and defire the continuance of it: I am not confcious that I have: spoke any faults a man may not mend if he pleases.

Mr. BICKER STAFF,

W

Sept. 25:

HEN I read your paper of Thursday, I was furprized to find mine of the thirteenth infert"ed at large; I never intended myself or you a fecond "trouble of this kind, believing I had fufficiently pointed out the man you had injured, and that by this "time you were convinced that filence would be the beft answer: But finding your reflections are fuch as naturally call for a reply, I take this way of doing it; and, in the firft place, return you thanks for the com

"pliment:

"pliment made me of my feeming fenfe and worth. I' "do affure you, I fhall always endeavour to convince "mankind of the latter, though I have no pretence to "the former. But to come a little nearer, I observe you put yourself under a very fevere reftriction, even "the laying down the Tatler for ever, if I can give you an inftance, where you have injured, any good man, "or pointed at any thing which is not the true object "of raillery.

"I must confefs, Mr. Bickerstaff, if the making a man "guilty of vices that would fhame the gallows, be the "beft method to point at the true object of raillery, I "have until this time been very ignorant; but if it be "fo, I will venture to affert one thing, and lay it down'

86

as a maxim, even to the Staffian race, viz. That that "method of pointing ought no more to be purfued, than "thofe people ought to cut your throat who fuffer by "it; because I take both to be murder, and the law is "not in every private man's hands to execute: But in"deed, Sir, were you the only perfon would fuffer by "the Tatler's difcontinuance, I have malice enough to punish you in the manner you prescribe; but I am not "fo great an enemy to the town or my own pleasures, as to wish it; nor that you would lay afide lafhing the reigning vices, fo long as you keep to the true fpirit "of fatire, without defcending to rake into characters "below its dignity; for as you well obferve, there is "fomething very terrible in unjustly attacking men in 16 a way that may prejudice their honour or fortune; "and indeed, where crimes are enormous, the delin

quent deferves little pity, yet the reporter may de"ferve lefs: And here I am naturally led to that cele"brated author of The whole Duty of Man, who hath "set this matter in a true light in his treatife of the government of the tongue; where, fpeaking of un"charitable truths, he fays, a difcovery of this kind "ferves not to reclaim, but enrage the offender, and precipitate him into farther degrees of ill. Modesty "and fear of fhame is one of those natural restraints, "which the wifdom of heaven has put upon mankind; "and he that once ftumbles, may yet by a check of "that bridle recover again: But when by a public de.. "tection

takes off the delicacy of their regard, as dealing in blood makes the Lanii lefs tender of spilling it.

St. James's Coffee-house, September 28.

Letters from Lisbon of the twenty-fifth inftant, N. S. fpeak of a battle which has been fought near the river Cinca, in which General Staremberg had overthrown the army of the Duke of Anjou. The perfons who fend this, excafe their not giving particulars, becaufe they believed an account must have arrived here before we could hear from them. They had advices from different parts, which concurred in the circumftances of the action ; after which the army of his Catholic Majefty advanced as far as Fraga, and the enemy retired to Saragoffa. There are reports, that the Duke of Anjou was in the engagement; but letters of good authority fay, that Prince was on the road towards the camp when he received the news of the defeat of his troops. We promife ourfelves great confequences from fuch an advantage obtained by fo accomplished a General as Staremberg who, among the men of this prefent age, is efteemed the third in military fame and reputation.

N° 75. Saturday, October 1, 1709.

From my own Apartment, September 30.

AM called off from public differtations by a domeftic affair of great importance, which is no lefs than the difpofal of my fifter Jenny for life. The girl is a girl of great merit, and pleafing converfation; but I being born of my father's first wife, and the of his third, the converfes with me rather like a daughter than a fifter. I have indeed told her, that if the kept her honour, and be haved herself in fuch a manner as became the Bickerstaffs, I would get her an agreeable man for her husband;

141 which was a promife I made her after reading a paffage in Pliny's Epiftles. That polite Author had been employed to find out a confort for his friend's daughter, and gives the following character of the man he had pitched upon.

Aciliano plurimum vigoris & induftriæ quanquam in maxima verecundia: Eft illi facies liberalis, multo fanguine multo rubore, fuffufa: Eft ingenua totius corporis pulchritudo, & quidam fenatorius decor, que ego nequaquam arbitror negligenda: Debet enim hoc caftitati puellarum quafi premium dari.

"Acilianus (for that was the Gentleman's name) is a man of extraordinary vigour and induftry, accom. "panied with the greatest modefty: He has very much "of the Gentleman, with a lively colour, and flush of health in his afpect. His whole perfon is finely "turned, and fpeaks him a man of Quality: Which are qualifications that, I think, ought by no means "to be over-looked; and fhould be bestowed on a daughter as the reward of her chastity."

A woman that will give herself liberties, need not put her parents to fo much trouble; for if she does not poffefs thefe ornaments in a husband, fhe can fupply herfelf elsewhere. But this is not the cafe of my fifter Jenny, who, I may fay without vanity, is as unfpotted a fpinfter as any in Great-Britain. I fhall take this occafion to recommend the conduct of our own family in this particular..

We have in the genealogy of our houfe, the defcriptions and pictures of our ancestors from the time of King Arthur; in whofe days there was one of my own name, a Knight of his Round Table, and known by the name of Sir Ifaac Bickerstaff. He was low of ftature, and of a very fwarthy complexion, not unlike a Portugueze Jew. But he was more prudent than men of that height ufually are, and would often communicate to his friends his defign of lengthening and whitening his pofterity. His eldest fon Ralph, for that was his name, was for this reafon married to a Lady who had little effe to recommend her, but that he was very tall and very fair. The iffue of this match. with the help of high fhoes,

made

made a tolerable figure in the next age; though the complexion of the family was obfcure until the fourth generation from that marriage. From which time, until the reign of William the Conqueror, the females of our houfe were famous for their needlework and fine skins. In the male line, there happened an unlucky accident in the reign of Richard the Third; the eldest fon of Philip, then chief of the family, being born with an hump-back and very high nofe. This was the more aftonishing, because none of his forefathers ever had fuch a blemish; nor indeed was there any in the neighbourhood of that make, except the butler, who was noted for round fhoulders, and a Roman nose: What made the mose the lefs excufable, was the remarkable fmallness of his eyes.

Thefe feveral defects were mended by fucceeding matches; the eyes were opened in the next generation, and the hump fell in a century and half: but the greatest difficulty was, how to reduce the nofe; which I do not find was accomplished until about the middle of Henry the Seventh's reign, or rather the beginning of that of Henry the Eighth.

But while our ancestors were thus taken up in cultivating the eyes and nofe, the face of the Bickerstaffs fell down infenfibly into chin; which was not taken notice of, their thoughts being fo much employed upon the more noble features, until it became almoft too long to be remedied.

But length of time, and fucceffive care in our alliances, have cured this alfo, and reduced our faces into that tolerable oval, which we enjoy at prefent. I would not be tedious in this difcourfe, but cannot but obferve, that our race fuffered very much about three hundred years ago, by the marriage of one of our heireffes with an eminent Courtier, who gave us fpindlefhanks, and cramps in our bones; infomuch that we did not recover our health and legs until Sir Walter Bickerstaff married Maud the milk-maid, of whom the then Garter King at Arms, a facetious perfon, faid pleafantly enough, that he had fpoiled our blood, but mended our conftitutions.

After this account of the effect our prudent choice of matches has had upon our persons and features, I can