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"I Lady Haugbty's, upon her visiting-day. When
"I entered the room where (he receives company, they
"all stood Vp indeed; but they stood as if they were to
■" stare at rather than to receive me. After a long pause,
"a servant brought a round stool, on which I sat down
*' at the lower end of the room, in the presence of no
V less than twelve persons, Gentlemen and Ladies, '" lolling in elbow-chairs. And, to complete my dis*' grace, my mistress was of the society. I tried to
V compose myse4f in vain, not knowing how to dis'* pose of either my legs or arms, nor how to shape my "countenance j the eyes of the whole room being still *• upon me in a profound silence. My confusion was at "last so great, that without speaking, or being spoken ** to, 1 fled for it, and left xhe assembly to treat me at
their discretion. A lecture from you upon these in
"human distinctions in a free nation, will, I doubt not,
prevent the like evils for the future, and make it, as
*' we fay, as cheap sitting as standing. I am, with the
'" greatest respect,
*' hand, with manifest discontent in her looks."
Soon after the receipt of this Epistle, I heard a very gentle knock at my door: My maid went down, and brought up word, that a tall, lean, black man, well dressed, who said he had not the honour to be acquainted with me, desired to be admitted. I bid her shew him
-Your most humble, and
most obedient servant,
■up, met him at my chamber-door, and then fell back I few paces. He approached me with great respect, and told me with a low voice, he was the Gentleman that had been seated upon the round stool. I immediately recollected, that there was a joint-stool in my chamber> which I was afraid he might take for an instrument of distinction, and therefore winked at my boy to carry it into my closet; I then toot him by the hand, and led him to the upper end of my room, where I placed him in my great elbow-chair -; at the same time drawing another without arms to it, for myself to sit by him. I then asked him, at what time this misfortune befel him J He answered, between the hours of seven and eight in •the evening. I farther demanded of him, what he had *at or drank that day f He replied, nothing but a dish erf" water-gruel with a few piumbs in it. In the next place, I felt his pulse, which was very low and languishing. These circumstances confirmed me in an opinion, which I had entertained upon the first reading of his Letter, that the Gentleman was far gone in the spleen. I therefore advised him to rise the next morning, and .plunge into the cold-bath, there to remain under water until he was almost drowned, This I ordered him to repeat six days successively; and on the seventh, to repair at the wonted hour to my Lady Haugbty,%, and to acquaint me afterwards with what he (hall meet with ■there; and particularly to tell me, whether he shall think they stared upon him so much as the time before. The Gentleman smiled; and by his way of talking to me, shewed himself a man of excellent sense in all particulars, unless when a cane-chair, a round or a jointstool, were spoken of. He opened his heart to me at the fame time concerning several other grievances; such is, being over-looked in public assemblies, having his bows unanswered, being helped last at table, and placed at the back part of a coach; with many other distresses, which have withered his countenance, and worn hinr to a skeleton. Finding him a man of reason, I entered into the bottom of his distemper. Sir, said I, there are more of your constitution in this island of Great-Britain^ than in any other part of the world ; and 1 beg the fa* jour of you to tell me, whether you do not observe, . . 6 that that you meet with most affronts in rainy days? He answered candidly, that he had long observed, that people were less saucy in sunshine than in cloudy weather. Upon which I told him plainly, his distemper was the spleen; and that though the world was very ill-natured, it was not so bad as he believed it. I farther assured him, that his use of the cold-bath, with a course of steel which I should prescribe him, would certainly cure most of his acquaintance of their rudeness, ill-behaviour, and impertinence. My patient smiled, and promised to observe my prescriptions, not forgetting to give me an account of their operation. This distemper being pretty epidemical, I shall, for the benefit of mankind, give the Public an account of the progress I make in the cure of it.
From my own Apartment, OSiober 12.
The Author of the following Letter behaves himself so ingenuously, that I cannot defer answering him any longer.
Honoured Sir, Ofitber 6.
«« T Have lately contracted a very honest and undis'* A sembled claudication in my left foot, which will "be a double affliction to me, if, according to your "Tatler of this day, it must'pass upon the world for a *' piece of singularity and affectation. I must therefore "humbly beg leave to limp along the streets after my "own way.orlihall be inevitably ruined in coach-hire. «' As soon as I am tolerably recovered, I promise to "walk as upright as a ghost in a tragedy, being not of "a stature to spare an inch of height that I can any way "pretend to. I honour your Lucubrations, and am, "with the most profound submission,
Your most dutiful, and
most obedient servant, See.
Not doubting but the case is as the Gentleman represents, I do hereby order Mr. Mtrpbevu to deliver him out a licence, upon paying his fees, which shall impower him to wear a cane until the thirteenth of March next; five months being the most I can allow for a sprain.
"St. James's Coffee-house, Otlobem.
W« received this morning a mail from Holland, which t>rings advice that the siege of Morn is carried on with so great vigour and bravery, that we hope very suddenly to be masters of the place; all things necessary being prepared for making the assault on the horn-work and ravelin of the attack of Bertamont, the charge began with the* fire of bombs and grenadoes, which was so hot, that the enemy quitted their post, and we lodged ourselves on those works without opposition. During this storm, one of our bombs fell into a magazine of the enemy, and blew it up. There are advices which fay, the Court of France had made new offers of peace to the Confederates; but this intelligence wants confirmation.
Vol H. I Saturday, N* 81. Saturday, Octobir 15, 1709.
'HU manus cb pair lam pugnar.Jo miner a pajfi,——
Virc. Æn. 6. ver. £60.
Here patriots live, who for their country's good,
From my own Apartmer,t, 0'Sober 14.
THERE are two kinds of immortality ; that which the Soul really enjoys after this life, and that imaginary existence by which men live in their Fame and reputation. The best and greatest actions have proceeded from the prospect of the one or the other of these; tut my design is to treat only of these who have chiefly proposed to themselves the latter, as the principal reward of their labours. It was for this reason that I excluded from my Tables of Fame all the great founders and votaries of religion; and it is for this reason also, that 1 am more than ordinary anxious to do justice to the persons of whom I am now going to speak; for since Fame was the only end of all their enterprizes and studies, a man cannot be too scrupulous in allotting them their du; proportion of it. It was this consideration which made m: call the whole body of the Learned to * my