folidly happy, but that another is to be happy in appearance. This is an evil which you must get over, or never know happiness. We will put the cafe, Madam, that you married Craffus, and the Lorio. She anfwered, Speak not of it. I could tear her eyes out at the mention of it. Well then, I pronounce Lorio to be the man; but I must tell you, that what we call fettling in the world is, in a kind, leaving it; and you must at once refolve to keep your thoughts of happiness within the reach of your fortune, and not measure it by comparison with others. But indeed, Madam, when I behold that beauteous form of yours, and confider the generality of your Sex, as to their difpofal of themfelves in marriage, or their parents doing it for them without their own approbation, I cannot but look upon all fuch matches as the most impudent proftitutions. Do but obferve, when you are at a Play, the familiar wenches that fit laughing among the men. These appear deteftable to you in the boxes: Each of them would give up her perfon for a guinea; and fome of you would take the worft there for life for twenty .thoufand. If fo, how do you differ but in price? As to the circumftance of marriage, I take that to he hardly an alteration of the cafe; for wedlock is but a more folemn proftituion, where there is not an union of minds. You would hardly believe it, but there have been defigns even upon me. A neighbour in this very lane, who knows I have, by leading a very wary life, laid up a little money, had a great mind to marry me to his daughter. I was frequently invited to their table: The girl was always very pleafant and agreeable. After dinner, Mifs Molly would be fure to fill my pipe for me, and put more fugar than ordinary into my coffee; for fhe was fure I was goodnatured. If I chanced to hem, the mother would applaud my vigour; and has often faid on that occafion, I wonder, Mr. Bickerstaff, you do not marry, I am fure you would have children. Things went fo far, that my miftrefs prefented me with a wrought ight-cap and a laced band of her own working. I began to think of it in earnest; but one day, having an occafion to r de to Iflington, as two or three people were lifting me upon my pad, I fpied her at a convenient distance laughing at L 4 1 her her Lover, with a parcel of romps of her acquaintance: One of them, who I fuppofe had the fame defign upon me, told me the faid, Do you fee how brifkly my old Gentleman mounts? This made me cut off my amour, and to reflect with myself, that no married life could be fo unhappy, as where the wife propofes no other advan. tage from her husband, than that of making herself fine, and keeping her out of the dirt. My fair client burft out a laughing at the account I gave her of my efcape, and went away feemingly convinced of the reasonableness of my difcourfe to her. As foon as he was gone, my maid brought up the following Epistle, which, by the ftyle, and the defcription fhe gave of the perfon, I fuppofe was left by Nick Doubt. Hark you, faid he, girl, tell old Basket-hilt I would have him anfwer it by the firft opportunity. What he fays is this: ISAAC, Yo OU feem a very honeft fellow, therefore pray tell me, did not you write that Letter in praise "of the Efquire and his Lucubrations yourfelf, &c." The greatest plague of coxcombs is, that they often break upon you with an impertinent piece of good sense, as this jackanapes has hit me in a right place enough. I must confefs, I am as likely to play fuch a trick as another; but that Letter he fpeaks of was really genuine. When I first fet up, I thought it fair enough to let myfelf know from all parts, that my works were wonderfully enquired for, and were become the diverfion, as well as inftruction, of all the Choice Spirits in every county of Great Britain. I do not doubt but the more intelligent of my readers found it, before this jackanapes, I can call him no better, took upon him to obferve upon my ftyle and my basket-hilt. A very pleasant Gentleman of my acquaintance told me one day a story of this kind of falfhood and vanity in an Author. Mevius fhewed him a paper of verses, which he said he had received that morning by the penny-poft from an unknown hand. My friend admired them extremely. Sir, faid he, this must come from a man that is eminent: You fee fire, life, and spirit run through the whole, and at the fame time a correctness, which fhews he is used to writing Pray, Sir, read them over again. He begins again, title and all; "To Mævius on his incomparable "poems." The fecond reading was performed with much more vehemence and action than the former; after which my friend fell into downright rapturesraptures-Why, they are truly fublime! there is energy in this line! defcription in that! Why! it is the thing itself! this is perfect picture! Mævius could bear no more; but, faith, fays he, Ned, to tell you the plain truth, I writ them myself. There goes juft fuch another ftory of the fame paternal tenderness in Bavius, an ingenious contemporary of mine, who had writ feveral Comedies, which were rejected by the players. This my friend Bavius took for envy, and therefore prevailed upon a Gentleman to go with him to the play-house, and gave him a new play of his, defiring he would perfonate the Author, and read it, to baffle the fpite of the Actors. The friend confented, and to reading they went. They had not gone over three fimiles, before Rofcius the player made the acting Author ftop, and defired to know, what he meant by fuch a rapture? And how it came to pafs, that in this condition of the Lover, inftead of acting according to his circumftances, he spent his time in confidering what his present ftate was like? That is very true, fays the mock Author; I believe we had as good strike these lines out. By your leave, fays Bavius, you fhall not fpoil your play, you are too modeft; thofe very lines, for aught I know, are as good as any in your play, and they fhall ftand. Well, they go on, and the particle "and" stood unfortunately at the end of a verfe, and was made to rhyme to the word, "stand." This Roscius excepted againft. The new Poet gave up that too, and faid, he would not difpute for a monofyllable -For a 4 monofyllable! fays the real Author, I can affure you, a monofyllable may be of as great force as a word of ten fyllables. I tell you, Sir, "and" is the connexion of the matter in that place; without that word, you may put all that follows into any other play as well as this. Befides. L.5 Befides, if you leave it out, it will look as if you had put it in only for the fake of the rhyme. Rofcius perfifted, affuring the Gentleman, that it was impoffible to fpeak it, but the "and" must be loft, so it might as well be blotted out. Bavius fnatched his play out of their hands, faid they were both blockheads, and went off; repeating a couplet, because he would not make his Exit irregularly. A witty man of these days compared this true and feigned Poet to the contending mothers before Solomon; the true one was eafily discovered from the pretender, by refusing to fee his offspring diffected. N° 92. Thursday, November 10, 1709. Falfus honor juvat, & mendax infamia terret Quem nifi mendofum & mendacem ?. HOR. Ep. 16. 1. 1. v. Falfe praise can pleafe, and calumny affright, 39. R. WYNNE. White's Chocolate-houfe, November 9. Know no manner of fpeaking fo offenfive as that of giving praife, and clofing it with an exception; which proceeds (where men do not do it to introduce malice, and make calumny more effectual) from the common error of confidering man as a perfect creature. But if we rightly examine things, we shall find that there is a fort of œconomy in Providence, that one fhall excel where another is defective, in order to make men more ufeful to each other, and mix them in fociety. This man having this talent, and that man another, is as neceffary in converfation, as one profeffing one trade, and another another, is beneficial in commerce. The happieft climate does not produce all things; and it was fo ordered, ordered, that one part of the earth fhould want the product of another, for uniting mankind in a general correfpondence and good underftanding. It is therefore want of good fenfe as well as good nature, to fay, Simplicius has a better judgment, but not fo much wit as Latius; for that these have not each other's capacities, is no more a diminution to either, than if you fhould fay, Simplicius is not Latius, or Latius not Simplicius. The heathen world had fo little notion that perfection was to be expected amongst men, that among them any one quality or endowment in an heroic degree made a God. Hercules had ftrength; but it was never objected to him that he wanted wit. Apollo prefided over wit, and it was never asked whether he had ftrength. We hear no exceptions against the beauty of Minerva, or the wisdom of Venus. Thefe wife heathens were glad to immortalize any one serviceable gift, and overlook all imperfections in the person who had it: But with us it is far otherwife, for we reject many eminent virtues, if they are accompanied with one apparent weakness. The reflecting after this manner, made me account for the ftrange delight men take in reading Lampoons and Scandal, with which the age abounds, and of which I receive frequent complaints. Upon mature confideration, I find it is principally for this reafon, that the worst of mankind, the Libellers, receive fo much encouragement in the world. The low race of men take a fecret pleasure in finding an eminent character levelled to their condition by a report of its defects; and keep themfelves in countenance, though they are excelled in a thousand virtues, if they believe they have in common with a great perfon any one fault. The Libeller falls in with this humour, and gratifies this bafenefs of temper, which is naturally an enemy to extraordinary merit. It is from this, that Libel and Satire are promifcuoufly joined together in the notions of the vulgar, though the Satirift and Libeller differ as much as the magistrate, and the murderer. In the confideration of human life, the Satirist never falls upon perfons who are not glaringly faulty, and the Libeller on none but who are confpicuously commendable. Were I to expofe any vice in a good or great man, it should certainly be by correcting it in fome one where that L 6 crime |