N° 96. Nay, we may observe multitudes that die without ever being born, as well as many dead perfons that fill up the bulk of mankind, and make a better figure in the eyes of the ignorant, than thofe who are alive, and in their proper and full ftate of health. However, fince there may be many good fubjects who pay their taxes, and live peaceably in their habitations, who are not yet born, or have departed this life feveral years fince, my defign is, to encourage both to join themfelves as foon as poffible to the number of the living: For as I invite the former to break forth into Being, and become good for fomething; fo I allow the latter a ftate of refufcitation; which I chiefly mention for the fake of a person, who has lately published an advertisement, with feveral fcurrilous terms in it, that do by no means become a dead man to give: It is my departed friend John Partridge, who concludes the advertisement of his next year's Almanac with the following note.

"Whereas it has been induftrioufly given out by Ifaac "Bickerftaf, Efquire, and others, to prevent the fale of this year's Almanac, that John Partridge is dead: This may inform all his loving countrymen, that he is ftill living, in health, and they are knaves that re66 ported it otherwife.

From my own Apartment, November 18.

7. P..

When an Engineer finds his guns have not had their intended effect, he changes his batteries. I am forced at prefent to take this method; and instead of continuing to write against the fingularity fome are guilty of in their habit and behaviour, I fhall henceforward defire them to perfevere in it; and not only fo, but shall take it as a favour of all the Coxcombs in the town, if they will fet marks upon themselves, and by fome particular in their drefs, fhew to what clafs they belong. It would be very obliging in all fuch perfons, who feel in themselves that they are not found of understanding, to give the world notice of it, and spare mankind the pains of finding them out. A cane upon the fifth button

hall

66

*249 fhall from henceforth be the type of a Dapper; redheeled shoes, and an hat hung upon one fide of the head, fhall fignify a Smart; a good periwig made into a twist, with a brifk cock, fhall speak a Mettled Fellow; and an upper lip covered with fnuff, denotes a Coffeehouse Statefman. But as it is required that all Coxcombs hang out their figns, it is on the other hand expected, that men of real merit fhould avoid any thing particular in their drefs, gait, or behaviour. For, as we old men delight in proverbs, I cannot forbear bringing out one on this occafion, "That good wine needs no bufh." I muft not leave this fubject without reflecting on several perfons I have lately met with, whọ at a distance feem very terrible; but upon a ftricter enquiry into their looks and features, appear as meek and harmless as any of my own neighbours. These are country Gentlemen, who of late years have taken up an humour of coming to town in red coats, whom an arch Wag of my acquaintance used to describe very well, by calling them theep in wolves cloathing. I have often wondered; that honeft Gentlemen, who are good neigh bours, and live quietly in their own poffeffions, fhould take it in their heads to frighten the town after this unreasonable manner. I fhall think myfelf obliged, if they perfift in fo unnatural a drefs, notwithstanding any posts they may have in the militia, to give away their red coats to any of the foldiery who fhall think fit to ftrip them, provided the said soldiers can make it appear, that they belong to a regiment where there is a deficiency in the cloathing.

About two days ago I was walking in the Park, and accidentally met a rural Efquire, cloathed in all the types above-mentioned, with a carriage and behaviour made entirely out of his own head. He was of a bulk and ftature larger than ordinary, had a red coat, flung open to fhew a gay calamanco waistcoat: His periwig fell in a very confiderable bush upon each shoulder: His arms naturally fwang at an unreasonable diftance from his fides; which, with the advantage of a cane that he brandifhed in a great variety of irregular motions, made it unfafe for any one to walk within feveral yards of him. In this manner he took up the whole Mall, his fpecta

M. 5

tore

tors moving on each fide of it, whilft he cocked up his hat, and marched directly for Westminster. I cannot tell who this Gentleman is, but for my comfort, may fay with the Lover in Terence, who loft fight of a fine young Lady: "Where-ever thou art, thou canst not be long concealed."

St. James's Coffee-houfe, November 18.

By Letters from Paris, of the fixteenth, we are informed that the French King, the Princes of the blood, and the Elector of Bavaria, had lately killed fifty-five pheasants.

"Whereas feveral have induftriously spread abroad, "that I am in partnership with Charles Lillie, the Per"fumer, at the corner of Beauford-Buildings; I muft say "with my friend Partridge, that they are knaves who "reported it. However, fince the faid Charles has "promised that all his customers shall be mine, I must defire all mine to be his; and dare answer for him, "that if you ask in my name for Snuff, Hungary or "Orange water, you fhall have the best the town af*fords, at the cheapest rate."

Tuefday,

N° 97. Tuesday, November 22, 1709.

Illud maximè rarum genus eft eorum, qui aut excellente ingenii magnitudine, aut præclarâ eruditione atque doctrinâ, aut atrâque re ornati, fpatium deliberandi habuerunt, quem potiffimùm vitæ curfum fequi vellent. Tull. Offic.

There are very few perfons of extraordinary genius, or eminent for learning and other noble endowments, who have had fufficient time to confider what particular courfe of life they ought to pursue.

H

From my own Apartment, November 21.

AVING fwept away prodigious multitudes in my laft Paper, and brought a great deftruction upon my own fpecies, I must endeavour in this to raise fresh recruits, and, if poffible, to fupply the places of the unborn and the deceased. It is faid of Xerxes, that when he ftood upon a hill, and faw the whole country round him covered with his army, he burst out into tears, to think that not one of that multitude would be alive an hundred years after. For my part, when I take a furvey of this populous city, I can fcarce forbear weeping, to fee how few of its inhabitants are now living. It was with this thought that I drew up my last bill of mortality, and endeavoured to fet out in it the great number of perfons who have perished by a distemper, commonly known by the name of Idlenefs, which has long raged in the world, and deftroys more in every great town than the plague has done at Dantzick. To repair the mifchief it has done, and stock the world with a better race of mortals, I have more hopes of bringing to life thofe that are young, than of reviving thofe that are old. For which reafon, I fhall here fet down that noble Allegory which was written by an old author called Prodicus, but

recommended and embellished by Socrates. It is the description of Virtue and Pleafure, making their court ro Hercules under the appearance of two beautiful Women.

When Hercules, fays the divine moralift, was in that part of his youth, in which it was natural for him to confider what courfe of life he ought to purfue, he one day retired into a defart, where the filence and folitude of the place very much favoured his meditations. As he was mufing on his prefent condition, and very much perplexed in himself on the ftate of life he fhould chufe, he faw two women of a larger ftature than ordinary approaching towards him. One of them had a very noble air, and graceful deportment; her beauty was natural and eafy, her perfon clean and unfpotted, her eyes cast towards the ground with an agreeable referve, her motion and behaviour full of modefty, and her raiment as white as fnow. The other had a great deal of health and floridnefs in her countenance, which she had helped with an artificial white and red; and endeavoured to appear more graceful than ordinary in her mein, by a mixture of affectation in all her geftures. She had a wonderful confidence and affurance in her looks, and all the variety of colours in her drefs that the thought were the moft proper to fhew her complexion to an advantage. She caft her eyes upon herself, then turned them on thofe that were prefent, to see how they liked her, and often looked on the figure fhe made in her own fhadow. Upon her nearer approach to Hercules, the stepped before the other Lady, who came forward with a regular com, pofed carriage, and running up to him, accofted him after the following manner.

My dear Hercules, fays fhe, I find you are very much divided in your own thoughts upon the way of life that you ought to chufe: Be my friend, and follow me; I will lead you into the poffeffion of pleasure, and out of the reach of pain, and remove you from all the noife and difquietude of bufinefs. The affairs of either war or peace fhall have no power to disturb you. Your whole employment fhall be to make your life eafy, and to entertain every fenfe with its proper gratifications. Sumptuous tables, beds of rofes, clouds of perfumes, Conforts of mufic, crouds of Beauties, are all in a readi