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• under no manner of rules or discipline. I think ' I am pretty well qualified for this place, as being

a man of very strong lungs, of great insight into all the branches of our British trades and manufactures, and of a competent skill 'in mufick.

The cries of London may be divided into vocal i and instrumental. As for the latter they are at • present under a very great disorder. A freeman

of London has the privilege of disturbing a whole • street for an hour together, with the twanking

of a brass-kettle, or å frying-pan. The watch• man’s thump at midnight startles us in our beds, • as much as the breaking in of a thief. The fow'gelders horn has indeed something musical in it, .but this is seldom heard within the liberties. I ' would therefore propose,, that no instrument of

this nature fhould be made use of, which I have ! not tuned and licensed, after having carefully exo amined in what manner it may affect the ears of • her Majesty's liege subjects.

• Vocal cries are of a much larger extent, and < indeed so full of incongruities and barbarisms, • that we appear a distracted city to foreigners, who . do not comprehend the meaning of such enor. i

mous outcries. Milk is generally sold in a note a

bove Ela, and in sounds so exceeding Thrill, that • it often fets our teeth on edge. The chimney. i sweeper is confined to no certain pitch; he some,

times utters himself in the deepest base, and some. ' times in the sharpest treble ; fometimes in the

highest, and sometimes in the lowest note of the

gamut. The fame observation might be made on • the retailers of fmall coal, not to mention broken

glasses or brick-dust. In these therefore, and the • like cafes, it should be my care to sweeten and • mellow the voices of these itinerant tradesmen,

before they make their appearance in our streets, as also to accommodate their cries to their respective wares ; and to take care in particular,

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that those may not make the most noise who ' have the least to sell, which is very observable in • the venders of card-matches, to whom I cannot • but apply that old proverb of Much cry but little 6 wool.

• Some of these last-mentioned musicians are so very loud in the sale of thefe trifling manufactures, • that an honest fplenetick Gentleman of my ac

quaintance bargained with one of them never to come into the street where he lived : But what

was the effect of this contract? Why, the whole • tribe of card-match-makers which frequent that

quarter, passed by his door the very next day, in • hopes of being bought off after the same manner.

" It is another great imperfection in our London cries, that there is no juft time nor measure ob« served in them. Our news should indeed be pu

blished in a very quick time, because it is a com

modity that will not keep cold. It should not,, • however, be cried with the same precipitation as

fire : Yet this is generally the case. A bloody • battle alarıns the town from one end to another . in an instant. Every motion of the French is • published in so great a hurry, that one would • think the enemy were at our gates. This like' wise I would take upon me to regulate in such a

manner, that there should be some distinction • made between the fpreading of a victory, a march,

or an incampment, a Dutch, a Portugal, or a

Spanish mail. Nor must I omit under this head · those exceffive alarms with which several boistero

ous rufticks infeft our streets in turnip-feafon ; 6 and which are more inexcuseable, becaufe thesë

are wares which are in no danger of cooling upon their hands.

"There åre others who affect a very flow time, and are, in my opinio much more tuneable than the former; the cooper in particular swells his last note in an hollow voice, that is not with

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out its harmony; nor can I forbear being inspired with a most agreeable melancholy, when I

hear that fad and folemn air with which the pub• lic are very often asked, if they have any chairs

to mend? Your own memory may suggest to you.

many other lamentable ditties of the same nature, • in which the mufick is wonderfully languishing • and melodious,

I am always pleased with that particular time • of the year which is proper for the pickling of • dill and cucumbers; but alas, this cry, like the song of the nightingale, is not heard above two months. It would therefore be worth while to

confider', whether the same air might not in some • cafes be adapted to other words.

• It might likewise deserve our most serious confideration, how far, in a well regulated city, • those humourists are to be tolerated, who, not

contented with the traditional cries of their forefathers, have invented particular songs and tunes • of their own : Such as was not many years since,

the pastry man, commonly known by the name • of the Colly-Molly-Puff; and such as is at this

day the vender of powder and wash-balls, who, if • I am rightly informed, goes under the name of 6 Powder-Wat.

• I must not here omit one particular absurdity which runs through this whole vociferous gener·ation, and which renders their cries very often • not only incommodious, but altogether useless to • the publick; I mean, that idle accomplishment • which they all of them aim at, of crying so as not 6 to be understood. Whether or no they have

learned this from several of our affected singers, . I will not take upon me to say ; but most certain . it is, that people know the wares they deal in ra• ther by their tunes than their words; insomuch

that I have sometimes seen a country boy run out to buy apples of a bellows-mender, and ginger



• bread from a grinder of knives and fciffars. Nay ' so strangely infatuated are some very eminent ar

tists of this particular grace in a cry, that none * but their acquaintance are able to guess at their • profeffion; for who else can know, that Work if I had it, should be the signification of a corncutter? • Forasmnch therefore as persons of this rank are seldom men of genius or capacity, I think it ' would be very proper, that some men of good

fenfe and found judgment should preside over " these public cries who thould permiț none to lift,

up their voices in our streets, that have not tune• able throats, and are not only able to overcome ' the noise of the croud, and the rattling of coaches, • but also to vend their respective merchandises in

apt phrases, and in the most distinct and agree• able founds. I do therefore humbly recommend

myself as a person rightly qualified for this post; • and if I meet with fitting encouragement, shall • communicate some other projects which I have

by me, that may no less conduce to the emolument of the publick.


am, Sir, &

ahaled CROTCHET.



Ι Ν D Ε Χ.

N. 237

A Blence of lovers, death in love, Number 241.

How to be made easy, ibid.
Abftinence, the benefits of it, N. 195.
Accompts, their great usefulness, N. 174.
Acosta, his answer to Limborch touching the multi-

plicity of ceremonies in the Jewish religion, N.

Action, a threefold division of our actions, N.

213. No right judgment to be made of them,

Admiration, one of the most pleasing passions,
Adversity, no evil in itself, N. 237.
Advertisement from Mr. Sly the haberdasher, N.

187. About the lottery-ticket, 191.
Ambition, by what to be measured, N. 188. Many

times as hurtful to the princes who are led by it
as the people, 200. Most men subject to it, 219,

224. Of use when rightly directed, 219.
Annihilation, by whom desired, N. 210. The most

abject of wishes, ibid.
Apes, what women so called, and described, N. 244.
Apollo's temple on the top of Leucate, by whom

frequented, and for what purpose, N. 223.
Apothecary, his employment, N. 195

Appetites, sooner moved than the passions, N. 208.
Argument, rules for the management of one, N.

197. Argumentum Bafilinum, what, 239. Socra-
tes his way of arguing, ibid. In what manner
inanaged by states and communities, ibid.



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