MRS. PAGE. Mrs. Page. What a Herod of Jewry is this!-O wicked, wicked world!—one that is well nigh worn to pieces with age, to show himself a young gallant! What an unweighed behaviour hath this Flemish drunkard picked (with the devil's name) out of my conversation that he dares in this manner assay me? Why, he hath not been thrice in my company!-What should I say to him?-I was then frugal of my mirth: Heaven forgive me!-Why, I'll exhibit a bill in the parliament for the putting down of fat men. How shall I be revenged on him? for revenged I will be, as sure as his guts are made of puddings. Enter Mistress FORD. Mrs. Ford. Mistress Page! trust me, I was going to your house. Mrs. Page. And, trust me, I was coming to you. You look very ill. Mrs. Ford. Nay, I'll ne'er believe that: I have to show to the contrary. Mrs. Page. 'Faith, but you do, in my mind. Mrs. Ford. Well, I do, then; yet, I say, I could show you to the contrary: O, mistress Page, give me some counsel! Mrs. Page. What's the matter, woman? Mrs. Ford. We burn daylight; here, read, read.-I shall, think the worse of fat men, as long as I have an eye to make difference of men's liking. What tempest, I trow, threw this whale, with so many tuns of oil in his belly, ashore at Windsor? How shall I be revenged on him? Did you ever hear the like? Mrs. Page. Letter for letter; but that the name of Page and Ford differs! To thy great comfort in this mystery of ill opinions, here's the twin-brother of thy letter: but let thine inherit first; for, I protest, mine never shall. I warrant he hath a thousand of these letters, writ with blank space for different names (sure more), and these are of the second edition. MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR.-Act II. Scene I. MADAME PAGE. Mme Page. Quel abominable Hérode que cet homme! Oh! que le monde est pervers! Un homme miné par l'âge, prêt à tomber en dissolution, s'aviser de faire le jeune galant! Qu'a-t-il donc découvert dans ma conversation, cet ivrogne flamand, qui ait pu lui donner l'audace de s'attaquer ainsi à moi? C'est à peine s'il s'est trouvé trois fois en ma compagnie! qu'aurai-je donc pu lui dire? Il me semble avoir été avec lui fort sobre de gaieté. Le ciel me pardonne! En vérité, je veux présenter un bill au parlement pour l'abolition des hommes. De quelle manière me vengerai-je de lui? car je me vengerai, aussi vrai que j'existe. Entre ME FORD. Mme Ford. C'est vous, Madame Page! J'allais chez vous. Mme Page. Et moi chez vous. Vous avez mauvaise mine. Mme Ford. Je ne saurais le croire. Je puis administrer la contraire. preuve du Mme Page. Je vous assure que vous avez mauvaise mine, à mon avis du moins. Mme Ford. Soit. Néanmoins je vous répète que je puis exhiber la preuve du contraire. O Madame Page! j'ai un conseil à vous demander. Mme Page. De quoi s'agit-il ?...... Mme Ford. Nous perdons le temps en paroles inutiles. (Elle lui présente une lettre ouverte.) Lisez ceci, lisez; vous verrez sur quoi se fondent mes prétentions à la chevalerie. Tant que je saurai distinguer un homme d'un autre, ceci me fera détester les hommes corpulents. Quelle tempête a fait échouer aux rives de Windsor cette baleine dont le ventre contient tant de barils d'huile? Comment me venger de lui? Vit-on jamais rien de pareil? ...... ..... Mme Page. Les deux lettres sont identiques; il n'y a que les noms de Page et de Ford qui diffèrent! Pour votre consolation, dans cet étrange complot contre notre honneur, voici la sœur jumelle de votre lettre que la vôtre hérite la première; car, je le proteste, la mienne n'héritera pas. Je suis persuadée qu'il a un millier de lettres semblables, et peut-être plus encore, avec les noms propres en blanc, et celles-ci sont de la seconde édition. LES JOYEUSES COMMÈRES DE WINDSOR.-Acte II. Scène I. ANNE PAGE. all Anne Page. Will't please your worship to come in, sir? Slender. I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth. Go, sirrah, for you are my man, go, wait upon my cousin Shallow. [Exit SIMPLE.] A justice of the peace sometime may be beholden to his friend for a man :—I keep but three men and a boy yet, till my mother be dead; But what though? yet I live like a poor gentleman born. till Anne Page. I may not go in without your worship: they will not sit you come. Slender. I'faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as though I did. Anne Page. I pray you, sir, walk in. Slender. I had rather walk here, I thank you. I bruised my shin the other day with playing at sword and dagger with a master of fence, three veneys for a dish of stewed prunes; and, by my troth, I cannot abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do your dogs bark so? be there bears i' the town? Anne Page. I think there are, sir; I heard them talked of. Slender. I love the sport well; but I shall as soon quarrel at it as any man in England:-You are afraid, if you see the bear loose, are you not? Anne Page. Ay, indeed, sir. Slender. That's meat and drink to me now! I have seen Sackerson loose twenty times; and have taken him by the chain; but, I warrant you, the women have so cried and shriek'd at it, that it passed:-but women, indeed, cannot abide 'em; they are very ill-favour'd rough things. MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR.-Act I. Scene II. |