bank of the River Hydaspes-in fact, our natural boundaries as defined in the year 4 of the Republic--bien entendu including the mines of antimony and the lake of asphalt.

2ND VOICE. He gives you! . . . Your boundaries of the year 4! . . . Why, my dear General, the Great White Bear is nearly a thousand miles off!

IST VOICE. Correct, from the geographical point of view, perhaps. But geography is only the basis of politics. And now you have been told what those concierges are saying to each other in their familiar phraséologie.

The gramophone wheezes. The cinema shows an Embassy, with a dishevelled man walking up and down, surrounded by well-groomed diplomatists.

IST VOICE (very distressed). But I must stop, and I'm going to stop!

SEVERAL VOICES (encouragingly). Tut, tut! Just hold on a little, and you shall be given Cæsarea presently.

IST VOICE (angry). Hang Cæsarea! My country would not have it if you could give it, and you can't. I tell you my country can't go on another month. We've no more munitions. And the people are starving by the thousand; they're mutinying and rioting on every side. There! don't you hear them yelling for peace?

A fearful wolf-like sound from outside: "Peace and
Bread! Peace and Bread!"

A DIPLOMATIC VOICE (encouragingly). Fiddlesticks! All that is got up by enemy agents. Just you hold on till you get Cæsarea.

Louder roar: "Peace and Bread!"

SATAN (interrupting).

disc!

Bother take the thing! A wrong

He fiddles with the gramophone, which slows off.

THE MUSE. Oh, how truly thrilling! Why, it sounds like the French Revolution! Oh, dear Satan, do, please, let them go on with that!

SATAN. Sorry to disoblige you, Clio. But it's a wrongly placed disc which doesn't belong to the set of the Heads of the Nations, with which you must, if you please, allow me to proceed at present.

THE MUSE. What a pity! It was so truly exciting!

SATAN. Only have patience! I promise you plenty more of this kind of stuff very soon in a separate performance—and a remarkably interesting one that will be, though different from the Ballet of the Nations. For the moment, we must return to the diplomatists and journalists.

While SATAN is adjusting the gramophone, the bloodcurdling yell, "Peace and Bread! Peace and Bread!" is repeated, and dies off in the gramophone's wheezing. SATAN. There! Now we've got back to the Heads of the Nations series all right. I must explain, however, that there were some unofficial peace feelers which have unluckily got mislaid; also a very funny person talking of peace without victory, which made everyone angry all round until he said it was to be peace with victory and joined in, and that it would all come to the same in the end. But what is happening at present is that these people of the Great White Bear, whom you heard yelling just now, are actually making a separate peace. There!

The cinema shows the inside of a saloon railway carriage in a station, and a snowstorm against the windows. The saloon is filled with Generals with fine fur coats over their uniforms, and bearded men in sheepskin caftans and peasants' boots and fur caps.

IST VOICE. No annexations and no indemnities, comrades!

2ND VOICE. The very thing-no annexations and no indemnities! Shake hands!

IST VOICE. Not so fast, please! You are occupying Aurora Borealis. How's that?

2ND VOICE. Oh, that isn't annexation. That's self-determination.

IST VOICE. All very fine! But what do you mean by commandeering my corn?

2ND VOICE. Oh, that surely can't be called an indemnity.

IST VOICE. Oh, it can't, can't it? Well, then, my friends, when you hear that we've stirred up a revolution in your country, please to remember that this isn't a Treaty of Peace! It's the beginning of the International Socialist Republic! Hurrah!

A General jumps up and hits the table with his sword, crying : "That shall teach your people subordination ! ” IST SPEAKER (waving a folded newspaper). This shall teach your Empire rebellion!

The gramophone wheezes. The cinema shows a council chamber full of statesmen.

IST VOICE. Don't you think, my lords and gentlemen, that the time might be nearly approaching when it would . . . it might, possibly be just as well to be beginning just to cast an eye on any possible . . I do not, mark, say probable. avenues -ahem!-leading to an eventual peace ?

2ND VOICE. Avenues to peace! Almost the most dangerous things in the world! Let alone peace itself, which is, of course, the most dangerous thing of all!

3RD VOICE. The name of peace must not be mentioned till they have restored Brobdingnag!

4TH VOICE. The name of peace must never be mentioned till they have given us back Lilliput!

5TH VOICE. The name of peace must not be mentioned till I have reannexed the seaboard of Bohemia, the flagstaffs of the sea-kings, the kingdoms of . . .

6TH VOICE. The name of peace must never be mentioned at all!

The gramophone wheezes. The cinema shows a Court of
Law, packed with spectators.

A VOICE. The name of peace must never be mentioned by any decent man or woman! Are any of you aware, I wonder, that at this present moment this country harbours in its bosom 47,000 aliens from Sodom and Gomorrah, all busily plotting peace? Does that seem too monstrous for belief? Well, their names and addresses are all registered in a printed book. This young lady, whom I have called as a witness, has actually seen the book!

FEMALE WITNESS. I have. It was shown me by two gentlemen friends, since deceased, at a lunch-party at Greenwich. It was bound in American cloth.

JUDICIAL VOICE. Was it, indeed? And did you see the contents of the book?

IST VOICE. The contents, my lord, comprised the name of everyone here present who dares to ask pacifist questions.

The gramophone wheezes. The cinema changes back to a council chamber full of statesmen of various nationalities. As the dialogue proceeds it changes to other council chambers in other parts of the world, which flicker in and out without interruption.

IST VOICE. But they appear to be talking of a possible restoration of Brobdingnag.

2ND VOICE. Ha! A peace trap!

IST VOICE. But they even suggest reconsidering the question of Lilliput.

3RD VOICE. Oh, another peace trap.

CHORUS OF ANGRY VOICES. Peace traps! Peace traps!

ALL TOGETHER. Who dares to mention peace till they have restored Brobdingnag and given back Lilliput; given me the seaboard of Bohemia

ANOTHER VOICE. Given me also the seaboard of Bo... ONE VOICE AFTER ANOTHER. We can't talk of peace till they have been dismembered and for ever silenced. It wouldn't really be peace unless we received our strategic frontiers. It wouldn't really be peace unless we had restored our natural boundaries. It wouldn't really be peace until we had realized our racial aspirations. It wouldn't really be peace until we had reconstituted our historical Empire.

ONE VOICE (deliberately). It wouldn't be peace until we had the other bank of the Hydaspes. It wouldn't be peace until we had got the mines of antimony. It would not be peace until we had realized the formula of the Carolingian Kings and of the Patriots of the year 4. It wouldn't be peace till we had reclaimed the Asiatic appanage of our Crusaders!

Someone in the council room hums "Partant pour le Syrie." ANOTHER VOICE (enthusiastically). It wouldn't be peace till we had fulfilled the aspirations of D'Annunzio. It wouldn't be peace until we had re-established the Wedding of the Adriatic.

3RD VOICE. It wouldn't be peace until we had re-established the Kingdom of Mazeppa.

4TH VOICE. It wouldn't be peace until we had re-established the Empire of Ziska.

OTHER VOICES. It wouldn't be peace until we had re-estab