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Or't may be, he has the fileas that run at tilt Face. Purposing then, sír,
T’have burnt rose-vinegar, treacle, and tar, When saw you him?
And ha' made it sweet, that you should ne'er ha' i Neigh. Who, sir, Jeremy?
known it : 2 Neigh. Jeremy Butler ?
Because I knew the news would but afflict you, sir. We saw him not this month.
Love. Breathe less, and farther off. Why, this is Love. How!
stranger! 4 Neigh. Not these five weeks, sir.
The neighbours tell me all, here, that the doors Neigh. These six weeks, at the least.
Have still been openLove. You 'maze me, neighbours !
Face. How, sir ! 5 Neigh. Sure, if your worship know not where Love, Gallants, men and women, he is,
And of all sorts, tag rag, been seen to flock here He's slipt away.
In threaves, these ten weeks, as to a secoud 6 Neigh. Pray God he be not made away!
Hogsden, Love. Ha ? It's no time to question, then, In days of Pimlico and Eye-bright ! 6 Neigh. About
(He knocks. Face. Sir, their wisdoms will not say so ! Some three weeks since, I heard a doleful cry, Love. To-day they speak As I sat up a-mending my wife's stockings. Of coaches and gallants; one in a French hood Love. This is strange, that none will answer ! Went in, they tell me; and another was seen did'st thou hear
In a velvet gown at the window ! divers more A cry, say'st thou?
Pass in and out. 6 Neigh. Yes, sir, like unto a man
Face. They did pass through the doors then, That had been strangled an hour, and could not Or walls, I assure their eyesights and their spec speak.
tacles ; 2 Neigh. I heard it too, just this day three For here, sir, are the keys, and here have been, weeks, at two o'clock
In this my pocket, now, above twenty days ! Next morning.
And for before, I kept the fort alone there. Love. These be miracles, or you make 'em so, But that 'tis yet not deep i’ the afternoon, A man an hour strangled, and could not speak, I should believe my neighbours had seen double And you both heard him ery!
Through the black-pot, and made these appari, 3 Neigh. Yes, downward, sir.
tions ; Love. Thou art a wise fellow : give me thy For, on my faith to your worship, for these three hand, I pray thee,
weeks, What trade art thou on?
And upwards, the door has not been opened, 3 Neigh. A smith, an't please your worship, Love. Strange! Love. A smith? then lend me thy help to get 1 Neigh, Good faith, I think I saw a coach! this door open.
2 Neigh. And I too, I'd ha' been sworn! 3 Neigh. That I will, presently, sir ; ' but fetch Love. Do you but think it now?
And but one coach ? 1 Neigh. Sir, best to knock again afore you 4 Neigh. We cannot tell, sir : Jeremy break it.
Is a very honest fellow.
Face. Did you see me at all ?
1 Neigh. No, that we are sure on,
2 Neigh. I'll be sworn o' that. LOVE-WIT, FACE, and Neighbours,
Love, Fine rogues to have your testimonies Lace. I will,
built on! Face. What mean you, sir?
3 Neigh. Is Jeremy come? 1, 2, 4 Neigh, O, here's Jeremy!
1 Neigh. O, yes, you may leave your tools, Face. Good sir, come from the door. We were deceived, he says, Love. Why! what's the matter?
2 Neigh. He has had the keys: Face. Yet farther, you are too near yet,
doors have been shut these three weeks, Lore. I'the name of wonder,
3 Neigh. Like enough, What means the fellow?
Love. Peace, and get hence, you changelings. Fuce. The house, sir, has been visited.
Face. Surly come! Love. What? with the plague? Stand thou, And Mammon made acquainted ? they'll tell all, then, farther.
How shall I beat them off? what shall I do? Faee. No, sir ; I had it not.
Nothing's inorçwretched than a guilty conscience, Love. Who had it, then? I left None else bat thee i' the house!
- SCENE III, Face. Yes, sir, my fellow, The cat, that keeps the buttery, had it on her
SURLY, MAMMON, LOVE-WIT, FACE, Neigh. A week before 1 spied it : but I got her
bours, KASTRIL, ANANIAS, TRIBULATION, Conveyed away i the night. And so I slut
DAPPER, und SUBTLE. The house up for a month
Sur. No, sir, he was a great physician. This, Loce. How!
It was no
house, but a mere chance!,
You knew the lord and his sister?
Face. Upon my trust, the doors were never Mam. Nay, good Surly
open, sir. Sur. The happy word, be rich
Kast. I have heard all their tricks told me Alam. Play not the tyrant
twice over, Sur. Should be to-day pronounced to all your By the fat knight and the lean gentleman. friends.
Love. Here comes another, And where be your andirons now ? and your Face. Ananias too, and his pastor ! brass pots ?
Trib. The doors are shut against us. That should ha' been golden flaggons and great Ana. Come forth, you seed of sulphur, sons of wedges?
fire, (They beat too at the door. Mam. Let me but breathe. What! they ha' | Your stench it is broke forth; abomination shut their doors
Is in the house. Methinks?
Kast. Ay, my sister's there.
Ana. The place,
(Knocks. Kast. Yes, I will fetch the scavenger and the Face. What mean you, sir?
constable. Mam. To enter, if we can.
Trib. You shall do well. Face. Another man's house?
Ana, We'll join to weed them out. Here is the owner, sir. Turn you to him,
Kast. You will not come, then. Punk, device, And speak your business. Mum. Are you, sir, the owner ?
Ana. Call her not sister. She is a harlot, verily. Love. Yes, sir.
Kast. I'll raise the street. Mam. And are those knaves within your Love. Good gentlemen, a word. cheaters?
Ana. Satan, avoid, and hinder not our zeal. Love. What knaves? what cheaters?
Love. The world's turned bet'lem. Mam. Subtle, and his Lungs.
Face. These are all broke loose, Face. The gentleman is distracted, sir ! No Out of St Katherine's, where they use to keep lungs
The better sort of mad folks. Nor lights ha' been seen here these three weeks, Neigh. All these persons sir,
We saw go in and out here. Within these doors, upon my word.
2 Neigh. Yes, indeed, sir. Sur. Your word, groom arrogant !
3 Neigh. These were the parties. Face. Yes, sir, I am the housekeeper,
Face. Peace, you drunkards! Sir, And know the keys ha' not been out o'nıy hands. I wonder at it! Please you to give me leave Sur. This's a new face.
To touch the door, I'll try an’the lock be changed. Face. You do mistake the house, sir !
Love. It mazes me ! What sign was't at ?
Face. Good faith, sir, I believe Sur. You rascal! this is one
There's no such thing. 'Tis all deceptio visus. O'the confederacy. Come, let's get officers, Would I could get him away! And force the door,
Dap. Master captain! master doctor! Love. Pray you stay, gentlemen.
(DAP. cries out within. Sur. No, sir, we'll come with warrant.
Love. Who's that? Mam. Ay, and then we shall ha' your doors Face. Our clerk within, that I forgot !—I know open.
not, sir. Love. What means this?
Dap. For God's sake, when will her grace be Face. I cannot tell, sir.
at leisure ? i Neigh. These are two o' the gallants
Face. Ha ! That we do think we saw.
Illusions, some spirit o'the air :-his gag is melted, Fuce. Two o' the fools;
And now he sets out the throat.
Dap. I am almost stifled.-
Dap. Mine aunt's grace does not use me well. Punk, cockatrice, my sister. By this light, Sub. You fool, peace, you'll mar all.
(Kast. knocks. Face. Or you will else, you rogue. I'll fetch the marshal to you. You are a whore, Love. O, is it so then you converse with To keep your castle
spirits ! Face. Who would you speak with, sir? Come, sir. No more o’your tricks, good Jeremy, Kast. The bawdy doctor, and the cozening The truth, the shortest way. captain,
Face. Dismiss this rabble, sir. And puss, my sister.
What shall I do? I am catched. Love. This is something, sure !
Lode. Good neighbours,
I thank you all
. You may depart. Come, sir, Sub. And your aunt. You know that I am an indulgent master : Dap. And my most gracious aunt, God save And therefore conceal nothing. What's your
your grace. med'cine
Dol. Nephew, we thought to have been angry To draw so many several sorts of wild fowl ? Face. Sir, you were wont to affect mirth and But that sweet face of yours hath turned the tide, wit:
And made it flow with joy, that ebbed of love. But here's no place to talk on't i' the street. Arise, and touch our velvet gown. Give me but leave to make the best of my fortune, Sub. The skirts, and kiss 'em. So. And only pardon me the abuse of your house : Dol. Let me now stroke that head; It's all I beg; I'll help you to a widow,
Much, nephew, shalt thou win; much shalt thou In recompence, that you shall gi' me thanks for,
spend; Will make you seven years younger, and a rich Much shalt thou give away; much shalt thou lend.
Sub. Ay, much indeed." Why do you not thank 'Tis but your putting on a Spanish cloak:
her grace? I have her within. You need not fear the house, Dap. I cannot speak for joy. It was not visited.
Sui. See, the kind wretch! Love. But by me, who came
Your grace's kinsman right. Sooner than you expected.
Dol. Give me the bird. Face. It is true, sir. Pray you forgive me. Here is your fly in a purse about your neck, cousin; Loce. Well, let's see your widow.
Wear it, and feed it about this day se'enight,
On your right wrist-
Sub. Open a vein with a pin,
And let it suck but once a week; till then, SUBTLE, DAPPER, FACE, and DoL COMMON.
You must not look on't. Sub. How! ha' you eaten your gag?
Dol. No; and, kinsman, Dap. Yes, faith, it crumbled
Bear yourself worthy of the blood you come on. Away i' my mouth.
Sub. Her grace would ha' you eat no more Sub. You ha' spoiled all, then.
Wool-sack pies, Dup. No,
Nor Dagger frume'ty.
Dol. Nor break his fast
Sub. She's with you everywhere !
Nor play with costermongers at mum-chance, And I did do't to stay my stomach. Pray you
tray-trip. So satisfy her grace. Here comes the captain. God make you rich, (when, as your aunt has Face. How now! Is his mouth down?
done it :) but keep Sub. Ay, he has spoken.
The gallant'st company, and the best games Face. A pox! I heard him, and you too. He's Dap. Yes, sir. undone then.
Sub. Gleek and primero: and what you get, I have been fain to say the house is haunted
be true to us. With spirits, to keep Churl back.
Dap. By this hand, I will. Sub. And hast thou done it?
Sub. You may bring's a thousand pound Face. Sure, for this night.
Before tomorrow night, (if but three thousand Sub. Why, then triumph and sing
Be stirring) an' you will. Of Face so famous, the precious king
Dap. I swear I will, then. of present wits.
Sub. Your fly will learn you all
games. Face. Did you not hear the coil
Face. Ha' you done there? About the door?
Sub. Your grace will command him no more Sub. Yes, and I dwindled with it.
duties? Face. Shew him his aunt, and let him be dis- Dol. No: patched :
But come and see me often. I may chance U send her to you.
To leave him three or four hundred chests of Sub. Well, sir, your aunt her grace
treasure, Will give you audience presently, on my suit, And some twelve thousand acres of Fairy-land, And the captain's word, that you did not eat your If he game well and comely with good gamesters. gag,
Sub. There's a kind aunt ! kiss her departing lo any contempt of her highness.
part. Dap. Not I, in troth, sir.
But you must sell your forty mark a-year now. Sub. Here she is come. Down o' your knees Dap. Ay, sir, I mean. and wriggle.
Sub. Or gi't away: pox on't! (DoL like the queen of Fairy. Dap. I'll gi't mine aunt. I'll go and fetch She has a stately presence. Good. Yet nearer,
the writings And bid God save you.
Sub. 'Tis well, away. Dap. Madam
Face. Where's Subtle?
Sub. Here, what news?
Sub. He cannot yet, he is not ready. Dear Dol, Face. Drugger is at the door, go take his suit, Cozen her of all thou canst.—To deceive him And bid bim fetch a parson presently :
Is no deceit, but justice, that would break
Dol. Let me alone to fit him.
Face. Come, my venturers ! Face. And how do you like
You ha’pack'd up all? Where be the trunks! The Lady Pliant ?
Bring forth, Dol. A good dull innocent.
Sub. Here. Sub. Here's your Hieronimo's cloak and hat. Face. Let's see 'em. Where's the money? Fuce. Give me 'cm.
Sub. Here, Sub. And the ruff too?
In this. Fact. Yes, I'll come to you presently.
Face. Mammon's ten pound; eight score beSub. Now he is gone about his project, Dol,
fore! I told you of, for the widow.
The brethren's money this:--Drugger's and Dol. 'Tis direct
Dapper's.Against our articles.
What paper's that? Sub. Well, we'll fit him, wench.
Dol. The jewel of the waiting maid's, Hast thou gull’d her of her jewels, or her brace- That stole it from her lady, to know certainlets?
Face. If she should have precedence of her Dol. No, but I will do't.
mistress? Sub. Soon at night, my Dolly,
Dol. Yes. When we are shipt, and all our goods aboard, Face. What box is that? Eastward for Ratcliff; we will turn our course Sub. The fish-wife's rings, I think ; To Brainford, westward, if thou say'st the word: And th' ale-wife's single money.-Is't not, Dol? And take our leaves of this o'erweening rascal, Dol. Yes : and the whistle that the sailor's wife This peremptory Face.
Brought you, Dol. Content, I'm weary of him.
Face. We'll wet it to-morrow:And our silSub. Thou hast cause, when the slave will run
ver-beakers, a wiving, Dol,
And tavern cups.- Where be the French pettiAgainst the instrument that was drawn between
And girdles, and hangers?
And the bolts of lawn.
Face. Give me the keys.
We shall not open 'em before he comes.
Face. 'Tis true, you shall not open them, Dol. Yes.
indeed : Sub. My finc flitter-mouse !
Nor have 'em forth. Do you sce? Not forth, Dol. My bird of the night! we'll tickle it at the Pi- Dol. No! geons,
Face. No, my smock-rampant. The right is, When we have all, and may unlock the trunks,
my master And say, this's mine, and thine, and thine, and Knows all, has pardon'd me, and he will keep'en. mine
[They kiss. Doctor, 'tis true, you look, for all your figures : Face. What now, a billing?
I sent for him, indeed. Wherefore, good partners, Sub. Yes, a little exalted
Both he and she, be satisfied: For, here In the good passage of our stock-affairs. Determines the Indenture tripartite Fuce. Drugger has brought his parson; take 'Twixt Subtle, Dol, and Face! All I can do him in, Subtle,
Is to help you over the wall, o'the back-side; And send Nab back again to wash his face. Or lend you sheet to save your velvet-gown, Dol. Sub. I will: And shave himself?
Here will be officers presently; bethink you Face. If you can get him.
Of some course suddenly to 'scape the dock; Dol. You are hot upon it, Face, whate'er it is ! For thither you'll come else. Hark you, thunFuce. A trick, that Dol shall spend ten pound
(Some knock, a month by. Is he gone?
Sub. You are a precious fiend! Sub. The chaplain waits you i' the hall, sir.
. Open the door.
Face. Dol, I'm sorry for thee, i'faith. But Fuce. I'll go bestow him.
hear'st, thou? Dol. He'll now marty her instantly.
It shall go hard, but I will place thee somewhere :
Thou shalt ha' my letter to mistress Amo. Ana. They are the vessels
Of pride, lust, and the cart. Face. Or Madam Cæsarean.
Love. Good zeal, lie still Dol. Pox upon you, rogue!
A little while ! Would I had but time to beat thee.
Trib. Peace, deacon Ananias ! Face. Subtle,
Love. The house is mine here, and the doors Let's know where you set up next; I'll send you
are open: A customer, now and then, for old acquaintance: If there be any such persons as you seek for, What new course ha' you?
Use your authority, search on o' God's name. Sub. Rogue, I'll hang myself
I'm but newly come to town, and finding That I may walk a greater devil than thou, This tumult 'bout my door, to tell you true, And haunt thee i'the flock-bed, and the buttery. It somewhat 'maz'd me; 'till my man here,
My more displeasure, told me he'd done
Somewhat an insolent part, let out my house,
Belike presuming on my known aversion LOVE-WIT, Officers, MAMMON, SURLY, FACE, From any air o the town, while there was sickKASTRIL, ANANIAS, TRIBULATION, DRUG
ness, GER, and Dame PLIANT.
To a doctor and a captain ; who, what they are, Love. What do you mean, my masters ? Or where they be, he knows not. Mam. Open your door,
Mam. Are they gone? (They enter. Cheaters, bawds, conjurers.
Love. You may go in and search, sir. Here, Ofh. Or we'll break it open.
I find Love. What warrant have you?
The empty walls worse than I left 'em, smok’d, Offi. Warrant enough, sir, doubt not: A few crack'd pots and glasses, and a furnace, If you'll not open it.
The ceiling fill'd with poesies of the candle: Lote. Is there an officer there?
And madam, with a dildo, writ o' the walls. Offi. Yes, two or three for failing.
Only one gentlewoman I met here, Love, Have but patience,
That is within, that said she was a widowAnd I will open it straight.
Kast. Ay, that's my sister. I'll go thump her. Face. Sir, ha' you done?
Where is she? Is it a marriage ? perfect ?
Love. And should ha' married a Spanish count, Love. Yes, my brain
but he, Face. Off with your ruff and cloak then ; be When he came to’t, neglected her so grossly, yourself, sir !
That I, a widower, am gone through with hcr. Sur. Down with the door.
Sur. How! have I lost her then? Kast. 'Slight, ding it open.
Love. Were you the Don, sir? Lote. Hold, hold, gentlemen!
Good faith, now, she does blame you extremely, What means this violence ? Mam. Where is this collar?
You swore, and told her, you had ta'en the pains Sur. And my captain Face?
To dye your beard, and umbre o'er your face, Mon. These day-owls.
Borrow'd a suit and ruff, all for her love! Sur. That are birding in men's purses. And then did nothing. What an oversight, Mam. Madam Suppository!
And want of putting forward, sir, was this ! Kast. Doxy, my sister.
Well-fare, an old harquebuseer yet, Ana. Locusts of the foul pit!
Could prime his powder, and give fire, and hit, Trib. Profane as Bel and the Dragon ! All in a twinkling ! Ane. Worse than the grashoppers, or the lice Mam. The whole nest are fled! of Egypt !
(Coming forth. Love. Good gentlemen, hear me. Are you Love. What sort of birds were they? officers,
Mam. A kind of choughs, And cannot stay this violence !
Or thievish daws, sir, that have pick'd my purse Offt. Keep the peace !
Of eightscore and ten pounds within these five Love. Gentlemen, what is the matter? whom
weeks, do you seek?
Beside my first materials; and my goods Mam. The chemical cozener !
That lie i' the cellar: which I'm glad they ha? Sur. And the captain Pandar.
left. Kast. The nun, my sister.
I may have home yet. Mam, Madam Rabbi!
Love. Think you so, sir? Ana. Scorpions and caterpillars !
Mam. Ay. Love. Fewer at once, I pray you.
Love. By order of law, sir, but not otherwise. Offi. One after another, gentlemen, I charge Mam. Not mine own stuff? you,
Love. Sir, I can take no knowledge By vistue of my staff
That they are yours, but by public means