The Modern British Drama: Comedies

There be too many great men that adore her, Princes, and princes' fellows, that claim privilege. Sanch. Yet those stand off i' the way of marriage.

To be tied to a man's pleasure is a second labour. Alon. She has bought a brave house here in

town.

Sanch. I have heard so.

Alon. If she convert it now to pious uses,

And bid poor gentlemen welcome!

Sanch. When comes she to it?

1 Lady. How does the sweet young beauty, lady Margaret?

2 Lady. Has she slept well after her walk last night ?

1 Lady. Are her dreams gentle to her mind? Alt. All's well,

She's very well; she sent for you thus suddenly,
To give her counsel in a business
That much concerns her.

2 Lady. She does well and wisely,
To ask the counsel of the ancient'st, madam ;

Alon. Within these two days: she is in the Our years have run through many things she

country yet,

And keeps the noblest house.

Sanch. Then there's some hope of her.

Wilt thou go my way?

Alon. No, no, I must leave you, And repair to an old gentlewoman

That has credit with her, that can speak a good word.

Sanch. Send thee good fortune, but make thy body sound first.

Alon. I am a soldier,

And too sound a body becomes me not. Farewell, Sanchio.

[Exeunt.

knows not.

Alt. She would fain marry.

1 Lady. 'Tis a proper calling,

And well beseems her years. Who would she yoke with?

Alt. That's left to argue on; I pray come in And break your fast, drink a good cup or two, To strengthen your understandings, then she'll tell you.

2 Lady. And good wine breeds good counsel; We'll yield to ye. [Exeunt.

Enter JUAN DE CASTRO and LEON.
Juan. Have you seen any service?
Leon. Yes.

Juan. Where?

Leon. Everywhere.

Juan. What office bore ye?
Leon. None, I was not worthy.
Juan. What captains know you?
Leon. None, they were above me.
Juan. Were you never hurt?

Leon. Not that I well remember;

But once I stole a hen, and then they beat me: Pray ask me no long questions, I have an ill memory.

Juan. This is an ass; did you never draw

your sword yet?

Leon. Not to do any harm, I thank Heaven

for't.

too,

Monies, demesnes: I have ships at sea too,
Captains.

Juan. Take heed o' th' Hollanders; your ships may leak else.

Caca. I scorn the Hollanders, they are my drunkards.

Alon. Put up your gold, sir, I'll borrow it else. Caca. I am satisfied, you shall not.

Come out, I know thee, meet mine anger instantly.

Leon. I never wrong'd ye.

Caca. Thou hast wrong'd mine honour, Thou look'd'st upon my mistress thrice lasciviously,

I'll make it good.

Juan. Do not heat yourself, you will surfeit. Caca. Thou won'st my money too, with a pair of base bones,

In whom there was no truth, for which I beat thee,

I beat thee much, now I will hurt thee dangerously.

This shall provoke thee.

[He strikes.

Alon. You struck too low by a foot, sir. Juan. You must get a ladder when you would beat

Per. You have made me now too bountiful amends, lady,

For your strict carriage when you saw me first:
These beauties were not meant to be conceal'd,
It was a wrong to hide so sweet an object.
I could now chide ye, but it shall be thus,
No other anger ever touch your sweetness.

Estif. You appear to me so honest, and so
civil,

Without a blush, sir, I dare bid you welcome. Per. Now let me ask your name.

Estif. 'Tis Estifania, the heir of this poor place.

Per. Poor do you call it?

There's nothing that I cast mine eyes upon,
But shews both rich and admirable; all the rooms
Are hung as if a princess were to dwell here;
The gardens, orchards, every thing so curious:
Is all that plate your own too?

Estif. 'Tis but little,

Only for present use; I have more and richer, When need shall call, or friends compel me use it.

The suits you see, of all the upper chambers,
Are those that commonly adorn the house.
I think I have besides, as fair as Seville,

Or any town in Spain can parallel.

Per. Now if she be not married, I have some hopes.

Are you a maid?

Estif. You make me blush to answer;

I ever was accounted so to this hour,
And that's the reason that I live retir'd, sir.
Per. Then would I counsel you to marry pre-
sently,

(If I can get her I am made for ever)
For every year you lose, you lose a beauty.
A husband now, an honest careful husband,
Were such a comfort: will you walk above
stairs?

Estif. This place will fit our talk, 'tis fitter far, sir;

Above there are day-beds, and such temptations I dare not trust, sir.

Per. She is excellent wise withal too.

Estif. You nam'd a husband; I am not so strict, sir,

Nor tied unto a virgin's solitariness,
But if an honest, and a noble one,

Rich, and a soldier, for so I have vowed be

shall be,

Were offer'd me, I think I should accept him ; But, above all, he must love.

Per. He were base, else,

There's comfort ministered in the word soldier, How sweetly should I live!

Estif. I am not so ignorant, but that I know well,

How to be commanded,

And how again to make myself obey'd, sir.
I waste but little, I have gather'd much;
My rial not the less worth, when 'tis spent,
If spent by my direction, to please my husband.
I hold it as indifferent in my duty,

To be his maid i' th' kitchen, or his cook,
As in the hall to know myself the mistress.

Per. Sweet, rich, and provident; now, fortune,
stick

To me! I am a soldier, and a bachelor, lady,
And such a wife as you I could love infinitely.
They that use many words, some are deceitful.
I long to be a husband, and a good one,
For 'tis most certain I shall make a precedent
For all that follow me, to love their ladies.

I am young, you see, able I would have you think

too;

If't please you know, try me before you take me.
'Tis true I shall not meet in equal wealth
With thee, but jewels, chains, such as the war
Has given me, a thousand ducats I dare

ACT II.

SCENE I.

Enter MARGARITA, two Ladies, and ALTEA. Marg. Sit down, and give me your opinions seriously.

1 Lady. You say you have a mind to marry, lady.

Marg. 'Tis true, I have, for to preserve my credit;

Yet not so much for that as for my state, ladies,
Conceive me right, there lies the main o' th'
question;

Credit I can redeem, money will imp it.
But when my money's gone, when the law shall
Seize that, and for incontinency strip me

Of all

1 Lady. Do you find your body so malicious that way?

Marg. I find it as all bodies are that are
young and lusty,

Lazy, and high-fed; I desire my pleasure,
And pleasure I must have.

2 Lady. "Tis fit you should have,

Your years require it, and 'tis necessary,
As necessary as meat to a young lady;

Sleep cannot nourish more.

1 Lady. You are still i' th' right; why would you marry then?

Alt. Because a husband stops all doubts in this point,

And clears all passages.

2 Lady. What husband mean ye?

Alt. A husband of an easy faith, a fool,
Made by her wealth, and moulded to her pleasure;
One, though he see himself become a monster,
Shall hold the door, and entertain the maker.

2 Lady. You grant there may be such a man.
1 Lady. Yes marry, but how to bring 'em to
this rare

Perfection.

2 Lady. They must be chosen so, things of no honour,

Nor outward honesty.

Marg. No, 'tis no matter,

I care not what they are, so they be lusty.
2 Lady. Methinks now a rich lawyer, some
such fellow,

That carries credit, and a face of awe,
But lies with nothing but his clients' business.
Marg. No, there's no trusting them, they are
too subtle,

The law has moulded 'em of natural mischief.
1 Lady. Then some grave governor,

1 Lady. But might not all this be, and keep Some man of honour, yet an easy man.

ye single?

You take away variety in marriage,

Marg. If he have honour I am undone, I'll none such;

The abundance of the pleasure you are barr'd I'll have have a lusty man, honour will cloy me.

then:

Is't not abundance that ye aim at?

Marg. Yes, why was I made a woman? 2 Lady. And every day a new?

Marg. Why fair and young but to use it?

Alt. 'Tis fit ye should, lady;

And to that end, with search and wit and labour,
I have found one out, a right one and a perfect.
He is made as strong as brass, is of brave years
too,

And doughty of complexion.
Marg. Is he a gentleman?

Alt. Yes, and a soldier, as gentle as you would wish him,

A good fellow, wears good clothes.
Marg. Those I'll allow him,

They are for my credit; does he understand

But little?

Alt. Very little.

Marg. 'Tis the better.

Have not the wars bred him up to anger.

Alon. You need none but her tabor.

Per. May be I'll march after a month or two,

Alt. No, he will not quarrel with a dog that To get me a fresh stomach. I find, colonel,

bites him;

Let him be drunk or sober, is one silence.

Marg. H'as no capacity what honour is ? For that's the soldier's god.

Alt. Honour's a thing too subtle for his wisdom;

If honour lie in eating, he is right honourable. Marg. Is he so goodly a man, do you say? Alt. As shall you see, lady;

But to all this is but a trunk.

Marg. I would have him so,

I shall add branches to him to adorn him.
Go, find me out this man, and let me see him.
If he be that motion that you tell me of,
And make no more noise, I shall entertain him.
Let him be here.

Alt. He shall attend your ladyship.

[Exeunt.

There was no wisdom in't to bid an artist,
An old seducer to a female banquet:

I can cut up my pie without your instructions.
Juan. Was it the wench i' th' veil?

Per. Basto; 'twas she,

The prettiest rogue that e'er you look'd upon,
The loving'st thief.

Juan. And is she rich withal too?

Per. A mine, a mine, there is no end of wealth, colonel.

I am an ass, a bashful fool! Prithee, colonel,
How do thy companies fill now?

Juan. You are merry, sir;

You intend a safer war at home belike now.

Per. I do not think I shall fight much this year,

colonel;

I find myself given to my case a little.

I care not if I sell my foolish company,
They are things of hazard.

Alon. How it angers me,

This fellow at first sight should win a lady,
A rich young wench, and I that have consum'd
My time and art in searching out their subtleties,
Like a fool'd alchemist blow up my hopes still!

A wantonness in wealth, methinks I agree not

with;

'Tis such a trouble to be married too,
And have a thousand things of great importance,
Jewels, and plate, and fooleries molest me,
To have a man's brains whimsied with his wealth:
Before, I walk'd contentedly.

Enter Servant.

Serv. My mistress, sir, is sick, because you are absent,

She mourns, and will not eat.
Per. Alas, my jewel!

Come, I'll go with thee. Gentlemen, your fair leaves;

You see I'm tied a little to my yoke.
Pray pardon me; would ye had both such loving
wives! [Exeunt PEREZ and Servant.
Juan. I thank ye

For your old boots. Never be blank, Alonzo,
Because this fellow has outstript thy fortune;
Tell me ten days hence what he is, and how
The gracious state of matrimony stands with him.
Come, let's to dinner; when Margarita comes,
We'll visit both, it may be then your fortune.

[Exeunt.

Marg. You shall be taught. And can you,
when she pleases,

Go ride abroad, and stay a week or two?
You shall have men and horses to attend ye,
And money in your purse.

Leon. Yes, I love riding,

And when I am from home I am so merry!

Marg. Be as merry as you will; can you as
handsomely

When you are sent for back, come with obedience,
And do your duty to the lady loves you?
Leon. Yes, sure, I shall.

Marg. And when you see her friends here,
Or noble kinsmen, can you entertain
Their servants in the cellar, and be busied,
And hold your peace, whate'er you see or hear of?
Leon. 'Twere fit I were hang'd else.
Marg. Let me try your kisses.-
How the fool shakes! I will not eat ye, sir.
Beshrew my heart, he kisses wondrous manly!
Can ye do any thing else?

Leon. Indeed, I know not;

But if your ladyship will please to instruct me, Sure I shall learn.

Marg. You shall then be instructed.

If I should be this lady that affects ye,
Nay, say I marry ye→

Alt. Hark to the lady.

Marg. What money have ye?
Leon. None, madam, nor friends.

I would do any thing to serve your ladyship.
Marg. You must not look to be my master, sir,
Nor talk i' th' house as though you wore the
breeches,

No, nor command in any thing.
Leon. I will not,

Alas, I am not able; I have no wit, madam.

Marg. Nor do not labour to arrive at any, 'Twill spoil your head; I take ye upon charity, And like a servant ye must be unto me; As I behold your duty I shall love ye,

And, as you observe me, I may chance lie with ye.
Can you mark these?

Leon. Yes, indeed, forsooth.
Marg. There is one thing,
That if I take ye in, I put ye from me,
Utterly from me, you must not be saucy,
No, nor at any time familiar with me,
Scarce know me, when I call ye not.

Marg. 'Tis the man I wish'd for; the less you speak

Leon. I'll never speak again, madam, But when you charge me; then I'll speak softly too. Marg. Get me a priest, I'll wed him instantly; But when you are married, sir, you must wait Upon me, and see you observe my laws.

Leon. Else you shall hang me.

Marg. I'll give you better clothes when you deserve 'em.

Come in, and serve for witnesses.

Omnes. We shall, madam.

Marg. And then away to th' city presently,
I'll to my new house and new company.
Leon. A thousand crowns are thine, and I am
a made man.

Alt. Do not break out too soon.
Leon. I know my time, wench.

[Exeunt.

She shall be welcome, I am prepar'd for her
She is mad sure, if she be angry at my fortune,
For what I have made bold.

Cla. Dost thou not love him?
Estif. Yes, entirely well,

As long as there he stays and looks no farther
Into my ends; but when he doubts, I hate him,
And that wise hate will teach me how to cozen him:
A lady tames he, and reads men warnings,

Leon. I will not; alas, I never knew myself How to decline their wives, and curb their

sufficiently.

Marg. Nor must not now.

Leon. I'll be a dog to please ye.

Marg. Indeed you must fetch and carry as I appoint ye.

Leon. I were to blame else.

Marg. Kiss me again;-a strong fellow, There is vigour in his lips: if you see me Kiss any other, twenty in an hour, sir, You must not start, nor be offended.

manners,

To put a stern and strong rein to their natures,
And holds he is an ass not worth acquaintance,
That cannot mould a devil to obedience.

I owe him a good turn for these opinions,
And as I find his temper I may pay him.

Enter PEREZ.

O, here he is; now you shall see a kind man.'
Per. My Estifania, shall we to dinner, lamb ?

Leon. No, if you kiss a thousand I shall be I know thou stay'st for me.

Estif. I cannot eat else.

Per. I never enter, but methinks a paradise Appears about me.

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