Estif. You are welcome to it, sir.

Per. I think I have the sweetest seat in

Spain, wench,

Methinks the richest too; we'll eat i' th' garden
In one o' th' arbours, there 'tis cool and pleasant,
And have our wine cool'd in the running fountain.
Who's that?

Estif. A friend of mine, sir.
Per. Of what breeding?
Estif. A gentlewoman, sir.

Per. What business has she?

Is she a learned woman i' th' mathematics,
Can she tell fortunes?

Estif. More than I know, sir.

Per. Or has she e'er a letter from a kins-
woman,

That must be delivered in my absence, wife;
Or comes she from the doctor to salute ye,
And learn your health? she looks not like a
confessor.

Estif. What needs all this? why are you
troubled, sir?

What do you suspect? she cannot cuckold ye, She is a woman, sir, a very woman.

Per. Your very woman may do very well, sir, Toward the matter; for though she cannot perform it

In her own person, she may do it by proxy: Your rarest jugglers work still by conspiracy. Estif. Cry you mercy, husband, you are jealous then,

And happily suspect me?

Per. No, indeed, wife.

Estif. Methinks you should not till you have

Per. 'Tis well.

Estif. Nay, 'twill be better

If you will let me but dispose the business,
And be a stranger to it, and not disturb me.
What have I now to do but to advance your
fortune?

Per. Do, I dare trust thee; I am asham'd I was angry,

I find thee a wise young wife.

Estif. I'll wise your worship

Before I leave ye;-pray ye walk by and say nothing,

Only salute them, and leave the rest to me, sir. I was born to make ye a man.

Per. The rogue speaks heartily,

Her good will colours in her cheeks; I am born to love her.

I must be gentler to these tender natures,
A soldier's rude harsh words befit not ladies,
Nor must we talk to them as we talk to
Our officers. I'll give her way, for 'tis for me she
Works now; I am husband, heir, and all she has.

Enter MARGARITA, LEON, ALTEA, and other

own;

And presuming upon me, and upon my courtesy ;— Conceive me short,-he knows not but she is wealthy,

Or if he did know otherwise, 'twere all one,
He is so far gone.

Per. Forward. She has a rare face.

Estif. This we must carry with discretion, husband,

And yield unto her for four days.

Per. Yield our house up, our goods and wealth? Estif. All this is but in seeming,

To milk the lover on; do you see this writing; Two hundred pounds a-year when they are married Has she sealed to for our good; the time's unfit

Estif. No, no, they shall have all,
And take their pleasure too, 'tis for our 'vantage.
Why, what's four days? had you a sister, sir,
A niece or mistress that required this courtesy,
And should I make a scruple to do you good?
Per. If easily it would come back.
Estif. I swear, sir,

As easily as it came on; is't not a pity
To let such a gentlewoman for a little help?
You give away no house.

Per. Clear but that question.

Estif. I'll put the writings into your hand.
Per. Well then.

Estif. And you shall keep them safe.

Per. I am satisfied; would I had the wench

so too.

Estif. When she has married him,
So infinite his love is link'd unto her,
You, I, or any one that helps at this pinch
May have-Heaven knows what.

Per. I'll remove the goods straight,

And take some poor house by, 'tis but for four days.

SCENE I.

Enter MARGARITA, ALTEA, and Boy.

And a boy to guide ye: peace, and we are made both.

Marg. Come, let's go in; are all the rooms kept sweet, wench?

Estif. They are sweet and neat. [Exit PER.
Marg. Why, where's your husband?
Estif. Gone, madam;

When you come to your own, he must give place, lady.

Marg. Well, send you joy; you would not let me know't,

Yet I shall not forget ye.
Estif. Thank your ladyship.

Alt. ARE you at ease now? is your heart at
rest,

Now you have got a shadow, an umbrella
To keep the scorching world's opinion
From your fair credit?

Marg. I am at peace, Altea;

If he continue but the same he shews,
And be a master of that ignorance
He outwardly professes, I am happy:
The pleasure I shall live in, and the freedom,
Without the squint-eye of the law upon me,
Or prating liberty of tongues, that envy.
Alt. You are a made woman.
Marg. But if he should prove now
A crafty and dissembling kind of husband,
One read in knavery, and brought up in the art
Of villany conceal'd?

Alt. My life, an innocent.
Marg. That's it I aim at;

That's it I hope too, then I am sure I rule him;
For innocents are like obedient children,
Brought up under a hard mother-in-law, a cruel,
Who being not us'd to breakfasts and collations,
When they have coarse bread offer'd 'em, are

thankful,

And take it for a favour too. Are the rooms Made ready to entertain my friends? I long to

dance now,

And to be wanton; let me have a song; is the great couch up

The duke of Medina sent?
Alt. 'Tis up and ready.

Marg. And day-beds in all chambers?

Alt. In all, lady;

[Exeunt,

Your house is nothing now but various pleasures. The gallants begin to gaze too.

Marg. Let 'em gaze on!

I was brought up a courtier, high and happy,
And company is my delight, and courtship,
And handsome servants at my will: where's my
good husband,

Where does he wait?

Alt. He knows his distance, madam; I warrant ye, he is busy in the cellar Amongst his fellow servants, or asleep, Till your command awake him.

Enter second Lady.

2 Lady. Madam, the lady Julia,Leon. That's a bawd,

A three-piled bawd, bawd-major to the army. 2 Lady. Has brought her coach to wait upon your ladyship,

And to be informed if you will take the air this morning.

Leon. The neat air of her nunnery.

Marg. Tell her, no; i' th' afternoon I'll call on her.

[Erit.

2 Lady. I will, madam. Marg. Why are not you gone to prepare yourself?

May be you shall be sewer to the first course. A portly presence! Altea, he looks lean; 'Tis a wash knave; he will not keep his flesh well. Alt. A willing, madam, one that needs no spurring.

Leon. Faith, madam, in my little understanding,

You had better entertain your honest neighbours,
Your friends about ye, that may speak well of yc,
And give a worthy mention of your bounty.
Marg. How now, what's this?
Leon. 'Tis only to persuade ye,
Courtiers are but fickle things to deal withal,
A kind of march-pane men that will not last,

madam;

Leon. Not much, madam.

You have a tie upon your servant's tongue,
He dares not be so bold as reason bids him;
'Twere fit there were a stronger on your temper.
Ne'er look so stern upon me, I am your husband;
But what are husbands? read the new world's
wonders,

Such husbands as this monstrous world produces,
And you will scarce find such deformities:
They are shadows to conceal your venial virtues,
Sails to your mills, that grind with all occasions,
Balls that lie by you to wash out your stains,
And bills nailed up with horn before your stories,
To rent out lust.

Marg. Do you hear him talk?
Leon. I have done, madam.

An ox once spoke, as learned men deliver;
Shortly I shall be such, then I'll speak wonders:
Till when I tie myself to my obedience. [Exit.
Marg. First I'll untie myself. Did you mark
the gentleman,

How boldly and how saucily he talked,
And how unlike the lump I took him for,
The piece of ignorant dough? he stood up to me,
And mated my commands: this was your provi-
dence,

Your wisdom, to elect this gentleman,
Your excellent forecast in the man, your know-
ledge;

What think ye now?

Alt. I think him an ass still:

This boldness some of your people have blown
Into him, this wisdom too, with strong wine.
'Tis a tyrant, and a philosopher also, and finds
Out reasons.

Marg. I'll have my cellar locked, no school
kept there,

Nor no discovery. I'll turn my drunkards,
Such as are understanding in their draughts,
And dispute learnedly the whys and wherefores,
To grass immediately; I'll keep all fools,
Sober or drunk, still fools, that shall know no-
Nothing belongs to mankind but obedience,
thing;
And such a hand I'll keep over this husband.
Alt. He will fall again; my life, he cries by

this time;

Keep him from drink, he has a high constitution,

Per. Shall I never return to mine own house again?

We are lodged here in the miserablest dog-hole!
A conjurer's circle gives content above it,
A hawk's mew is a princely palace to it;
We have a bed no bigger than a basket,
And there we lie like butter clapped together,
And sweat ourselves to sauce immediately;
The fumes are infinite inhabit here too,
And to that so thick, they cut like marmalade;
So various too, they'll pose a gold-finder.
Never return to mine own paradise?
Why wife, I say, why Estifania!

Estif. [Within.] I am going presently.
Per. Make haste, good jewel.

I am like the people that live in the sweet islands:
I die, I die, if I stay but one day more here;
My lungs are rotten with the damps that rise,
And I cough nothing now but stinks of all sorts:
The inhabitants we have are two starved rats,
For they are not able to maintain a cat here,
And those appear as fearful as two devils;
They have eat a map of the whole world up al-
ready,

And if we stay a night we are gone for company.
There's an old woman that's now grown to

marble,

Dried in this brick-hill; and she sits i' th' chimney,

Which is but three tiles, raised like a house of cards,

The true proportion of an old smoked sibyl :
There is a young thing too, that Nature meant
For a maid-servant, but 'tis now a monster;
She has a husk about her like a chesnut,
With business, and living under the line here;
And these two make a hollow sound together,
Like frogs, or winds between two doors that

Per. Break my neck rather: Is there any thing here to eat

But one another, like a race of cannibals?
A piece of buttered wall you think is excellent :
Let's have our house again immediately,
And pray you take heed unto the furniture,
None be embezzled.

Estif. Not a pin, I warrant ye.
Per. And let 'em instantly depart.
Estif. They shall both;

There's reason in all courtesies, they must both;
For by this time I know she has acquainted him,
And has provided too; she sent me word, sir,
And will give over gratefully unto you.

Per. I'll walk i' th' church-yard;

The dead cannot offend more than these living; An hour hence I'll expect ye.

Estif. I'll not fail, sir.

Per. And, do you hear, let's have a handsome dinner,

And see all things be decent as they have been,
And let me have a strong bath to restore me.
I stink like a stall-fish shambles, or an oil-shop.
Estif. You shall have all, which some interpret
nothing;

I'll send ye people for the trunks aforehand,
And for the stuff.

Per. Let 'em be known and honest,

And do my service to your niece.

Estif. I shall, sir;

But if I come not at my hour, come thither, That they may give you thanks for your fair courtesy ;

And pray ye, be brave, for my sake.
Per. I observe ye.

[Exeunt.

I bear my patent here. I will talk to her,
And when your captainships shall stand aloof,
And pick your noses, I will pick the purse
Of her affection.

Juan. The duke dines there to-day too, the duke of Medina.

Cac. Let the king dine there,

He owes me money, and so far's my creature; And certainly I may make bold with mine own, captain?

Sanc. Thou wilt eat monstrously.

Cac. Like a true-born Spaniard,

Eat as I were in England, where the beef grows;
And I will drink abundantly, and then
Talk ye as wantonly as Ovid did,

To stir the intellectuals of the ladies;

I learnt it of my father's amorous scrivener. Juan. If we should play now, you must supply me.

Cac. You must pawn a horse troop, And then have at ye, colonel.

Sanc. Come let's go:

This rascal will make rare sport; how the ladies Will laugh at him!

Juan. If I light on him, I'll make his purse

sweat too.

The spirit of garlic!

Old Wom. Where's your gentlewoman?
The young fair woman?

Per. What's that to my question?
She is my wife, and gone about my business.
Maid. Is she your wife, sir?

Per. Yes, sir, is that wonder?

Is the name of wife unknown here?
Old Wom. Is she truly, truly your wife?
Per. I think so, for I married her;

It was no vision, sure !

Maid. She has the keys, sir.

Per. I know she has, but who has all my goods, spirit?

Old Wom. If you be married to that gentle

That stands hard by, and furnish'd royally. Old Wom. You are cozen'd too, 'tis none of her's; good gentleman!

Maid. The lady Margarita, she was her ser

vant,

And kept the house; but going from her, sir, For some lewd tricks she play'd

Per. Plague o' the devil,

Am I, i' th' full meridian of my wisdom,
Cheated by a stale quean! what kind of lady
Is that that owes the house?

Old Wom. A young sweet lady.

Per. Of a low stature?

Old Wom. She is indeed but little, but she is wondrous fair.

Per. I feel I am cozen'd;

Now I am sensible I am undone.

This is the very woman, sure, that cousin
She told me would entreat but for four days,
To make the house hers; I am entreated sweetly.
Maid. When she went out this morning, that

I saw, sir,

She had two women at the door attending,
And there she gave 'em things, and loaded 'em,
But what they were-I heard your trunks too
open,
If they be yours.

Per. They were mine while they were laden, But now they have cast their calves, they are

not worth

Owning: was she her mistress, say you?

Old Wom. Her own mistress, her very mistress, sir, and all you saw

About, and in that house, was hers.

Per. No plate, no jewels, nor no hangings?
Maid. Not a farthing; she is poor, sir, a poor
shifting thing.
Per. No money?