« PreviousContinue »
Old Wom. Abominable poor, as poor as we are, Enter MARGARITA, ALTEA, Ladies, and Ser. Money as rare to her, unless she steal it;
vants. But for one civil gown her lady gave her, She may go bare, good gentlewoman.
Marg. All welcome to your grace, and to these
soldiers, Per. I am mad now,
You honour my poor house with your fair preI think I am as poor as she, I am wide else; One civil suit I have left too, and that's all, And if she steal that, she must flay me for it.
Those few slight pleasures that inhabit here, sir,
I do beseech your grace command; they are Where does she use? Old Won. You may find Truth as soon ;
Your servant but preserves 'em to delight ye. Alas, a thousand conceal'd corners, sir, she
Duke. I thank ye, lady; I am bold to visit ye, lurks in.
Once more to bless mine eyes with your sweet And here she gets a fleece, and there another,
beauty. And lives in mists and smokes where none can
'T has been a long night since you left the court, find her.
For till I saw you now, no day broke to me. Per. Is she a whore, too? Old'Wom. Little better, gentleman. I dare
Marg. Bring in the duke s meat.
Sanch. She is most excellent. not say she is so, sir, because
Juan. Most admirable fair as e'er I look'd She is yours, sir; these five years she has firkt
upon ; A pretty living,
I had rather command her than my regiment. Until she came to serve. I fear he will knock
Cac. I'll have a fling, 'tis but a thousand Brains out for lying.
ducats, Per. She has servd me faithfully, A whore and thief? two excellent moral learn. And some few jewels to justify my knavery;
Which I can cozen up again in ten days, ings
Say I should marry her, she'll get more money In one she-saint, I hope to see her legend.
Than all my usury, put my knavery to it. Have I been fear'd for my discoveries,
She appears the most infallible way of purchase; And courted by all women to conceal 'em ?
I could wish her a size or two stronger for the Have I so long studied the art of this sex,
encounter, And read the warnings to young gentlemen ?
For I am like a lion, where I lay hold; Have I profest to tame the pride of ladies, And make 'em bear all tests, and am I trickt now! And never bleat neither; that, sír, time has
But these lambs will endure a plaguy load, Caught in mine own noose? here's a royal left
taught us. yet ;
I am so virtuous now, I cannot speak to her, There's for your lodging and your meat for this The arrant'st shame-fac'd
ass ! I broil away too. week. A silk-worm lives at a more plentiful ordinary,
Enter LEON. And sleeps in a sweeter box: Farewell, greatgrandmother;
Marg. Why, where's this dinner ? If I do find you were an accessary,
Leon. 'Tis not ready, madam, 'Tis but the cutting off two smoky minutes,
Nor shall not be until I know the guests too, I'll hang ye presently:
Nor are they fairly welcome till I bid 'em. Old Wom. And I deserve it, I tell but truth. Juan. Is not this my Alferes? he looks anoPer. Not I, I am an ass, mother. (Exeunt.
Are miracles a-foot again?
And as you are my wife, command your absence ; Juan. And richly furnished too, sir.
And know your duty, 'tis the crown of modesty. Alon. Hung wantonly; I like that preparation, Duke. Your wife? It stirs the blood unto a hopeful banquet,
Leon. Yes, good my lord, I am her husband,
And And intimates the mistress free and jovial ;
take notice that I claim that honour, I love a house where pleasure prepares welcome. And will maintain it. Duke. Now, Cacafogo, how like you this man
Cac. If thou be'st her husband, sion ?
I am determin'd thou shalt be my cuckold. 'Twere a brave pawn.
I'll be thy faithful friend. Cac. I shall be master of it,
Leon. Peace, dirt and dunghill ! 'Twas built for my bulk, the rooms are wide and I will not lose mine anger on a rascal; spacious,
Provoke me more, I'll beat thy blown body Airy and full of case, and that I love well ; Till thou rebound'st again like a tennis-ball. Pll tell you when I taste the wine, my lord,
Alon. This is miraculous. And take the height of her table with my sto Sanch. Is this the fellow mach,
That bad the patience to become a fool, How my affections stand to the young lady.
A furted fool, and on a sudden break,
to ye :
As if he would shew a wonder to the world, Leon. Not now, my lord, my fortune makes Both in bravery and fortune too?
me even ; I much admire the man ; I am astonish'a.
And, as I am an honest man, I am nobler. Mary. I'll be divorced immediately.
Mar. Get me my coach! Leon. You shall not,
Leon. Let me see who dares get it You shall not have so much will to be wicked. Till I command ; I'll make him draw your coach I am more tender of your honour, lady,
too, And of your age; you took me for a shadow, And eat your coach, (which will be hard diet,) You took me to gloss over your discredit, That executes your will :-Or take your coach, To be your fool, you thought you had found a
I give you liberty; and take your people I am innocent of any foul dishonour I mean Which I turn off, and take your will abroad Only I will be known to be your lord now, Take all these freely--but take me no more ! And be a fair one too, or I will fall for 't. And so, farewell ! Marg. I do command ye from me, thou poor Duke. Nay, sir, you shall not carry it fellow,
So bravely oft; you shall not wrong a lady Thou cozen'd fool.
In a high huffing strain, and think to bear it! Leon. Thou cozen'd fool ! 'tis not so, We stand not by as bawds to your brave fury, I will not be commanded: I am above ye:
To see a lady weep ! You may divorce me from your favour, lady, Leon. They are tears of anger, (I beseech yo But from your state you never shall, I'll hold
note 'em) not worth pity, that ;
Wrung from her rage, because her will prevails And then maintain your wantonness, I'll wink
not :at it.
She would swoon now if she could not cry; Marg. Am I braved thus in my own house? Else they were excellent, and I should grieve Leon. 'Tis mine, madam;
too: You are deceiv’d, I am lord of it, I rule it and But falling thus, they show nor sweet nor orient. all that's in it;
Put up, my lord !-this is oppression, You have nothing to do here, madam;
And calls the sword of justice to relieve me; But as a servant to sweep clean the lodgings, The law to lend her hand; the king to right me ; And at my farther will to do me service, All which shall understand how you provoke me. And so I'll keep it.
In mine own house to brave me, is this princely? Marg. As you love me, give way.
Then to my guard, and if I spare your grace, Leon. It shall be better
And do not make this place your monument, I will give none, madam;
Too rich a tomb for such a rude behaviour, I stand upon the ground of mine own honour, (I have a cause will kill a thousand of ye,) mercy And will maintain it; you shall know me now
forsake me ! To be an understanding feeling man,
Juan. Hold, fair sir, I beseech you, And sensible of what a woman aims at,
The gentleman but pleads his own right nobly. A young proud woman, that has will to sail with, Leon. He that dares strike against the husAn itching woman, that her blood provokes
-A tam'd I cast my cloud off, and appear myself,
cuckold; The master of this little piece of mischief, His wife be fair and young, but most dishonest, And I will put a spell about your feet, lady, Most impudent, and have no feeling of it ; They shall not wander but where I give way now. No conscience to reclaim her from a monster; Duke. Is this the fellow that the people point Let her lie by him like a flattering ruin, ed at
And at one instant kill both name and honour : For the mere sign of man, the walking image? Let him be lost, no eye to weep his end, He speaks wondrous highly.
Nor find no earth that's base enough to bury Leon. As a husband ought, sir,
him: In his own house, and it becomes me well too. Now, sir, fall on, I am ready to oppose ye.. I think your grace would grieve if you were put
Duke. I have better thought.--I pray, sir, use to it
your wife well. To have a wife or servant of your own,
Leon. Mine own humanity will teach me that, (For wives are reckon'd in the rank of servants,)
sir:Under your own roof, to command ye.
And now you are all welcome, all ! and we'll to Juan. Brave !-a strange conversion! thou
dinner; shalt lead
This is my wedding-day. In chief now.
Duke. I'll cross your joy yet. Duke. Is there no difference betwixt her and Juan. I have seen a miracle: hold thine own,
Sure they dare fight in fire, that conquer women! Marg. Do not you know that have her ? Sanch. He's beaten all my loose thoughts out She is your's now, why should I look after her?
Since that first hour I came I never saw her. As if he had thresh'd them out o'the husk. Per. I saw her later; would the devil had
had her! Enter PEREZ.
It is all true I find ;-a wild-fire take her! Per. 'Save ye, which is the lady of the house? Juan. Is thy wife with child, Don Michael ? Leon. That's she, sir, that pretty lady,
Thy excellent wife !If you would speak with her.
Art thou a man yet? Juan. Don Michael !
Alonz. When shall we come and visit thee? Leon. Another darer come?
Sanc. And eat some rare fruit ?- Thou hast Per. Pray do not know me, I am full of
admirable orchards !business;
You are so jealous now:-Pox o' your jealousy, When I have more time I'll be merry with ye. How scurvily you look ! It is the woman :-Good madam, tell me truly, Per. Prithee leave fooling, Had you a maid call’d Estifania?"
I am in no humour now to fool and prattle.Marg. Yes truly had I.
Did she ne'er play the wag with you? Per. Was she a maid, do you
Marg. Yes, many times, so often that I was Marg. I dare not swear for her,
asham’d to keep her : For she had but a scant fame.
But I forgave her, sir, in hope she would mend
I had put her off.
way soe'er I turn, I am a made man; Per. Give me a halter :-Is not this house Miserably gulld beyond recovery. mine, madam?
Juan. You'll stay and dine ? Was not she owner of it? Pray, speak truly.
Per. Certain I cannot, captain :Marg. No, certainly; I'm sure my money paid Hark in thine ear, I am the arrantest puppy, for it,
The miserablest ass !—but I must leave ye,And I ne'er remember yet I gave it you, sir. I am in haste, in haste; bless you, good madam, Per. The hangings and the plate too?
may you prove as good as my wife! (Exit. Marg. All are mine, sir,
Leon. Will you come near, sir? will your grace And every thing you see about the building:
but honour me, She only kept my house when I was absent, And taste our dinner? you are nobly welcome; And so ill kept it, I was weary of her.
All anger's past, I hope, and I shall serve ye. Sanch. What a devil ails he?
Juan. Thou art the stock of men, and I adJuan. He's possest, I'll assure you.
(Exeunt. Per. Where is your maid?
Estif. My most noble husband !
I am glad I have found ye; for, in truth, I ain
weary, Enter PEREZ.
Weary and lame, with looking out your lordship. Per. PB go to a conjurer but I'll find this pole Per. I have been in bawdy-housescat,
Estif. I believe you, and very lately too. This pilfering whore: -A plague of veils, I cry, Per. Pray you pardon me, And covers for the impudence of women; To seek your ladyship: I have been in cellars, Their sanctity in show will deceive devils : In private cellars, where the thirsty bawds It is my evil angel, let me bless me!
Hear your confessions: I have been at plays,
To look you out amongst the youthful actors ; Enter ESTIPANIA with a Casket.
At puppet-shews, (you are mistress of the moEstif. 'Tis he, I am caught, I must stand to it
tions :) stoutly,
At gossippings I hearkened after you ; And show no shake of fear :-I see he is angry; But amongst those confusions of lewd tongues Vex'd at the uttermost.
There's no distinguishing beyond a Babel. Per. My worthy wife!
I was amongst the nuns, because you sing well; I have been looking of your modesty.
But they say your's are bawdy songs, they mourn All the town over.
And last I went to church to seek you out; I gave 'em to thy hands, my trunks and all, "Tis so long since you were there, they have for And thou hast open'd 'em, and sold my treasure. got you.
Estif. Sir, there's your treasure, sell it to a Estif. You have had a pretty progress, I'll tell
tinker mine now :
To mend old kettles,—is this noble usage!Το you out, I went to twenty taverns. Let all the world view here the captain's treaPer. And are you sober?
sure ! Estif. Yes, I recl not yet, sir,
A man would think now these were worthy matWhere I saw twenty drunk, most of 'em soldiers;
ters:There I had great hope to find you disguis'd too. Here's a shoeing-horn chain gilt over ; how it From hence to th' dicing-house; there I found
scenteth, Quarrels needless and senseless, swords and pots, Worse than the mouldy dirty heel it served for! and candlesticks,
And here's another of a lesser value, Tables and stools, and all in one confusion, So little I would shame to tie my dog in't:And no man knew his friend. I left this chaos, These are my jointure ! -Blush and save a laAnd to the chirurgeon's went ; he willd me stay,
bour, For, says he, learnedly, if he be tippled, Or these else will blush for ye! Twenty to one he whores, and then I hear of Per. A fire subtle ye! are ye so crafty ? him:
Estif. Here's a goodly jewel ; If he be mad, he quarrels, then he comes too. Did not you win this at Goletta, captain ? I sought ye where no safe thing would have ven Or took it in the field from some brave Bassa? tur'd,
How it sparkles like an old lady's eyes, Amongst diseases base, and vile, vile women; And fills each room with light like a close lanFor I rememb’red your old Roman axiom,
thorn The more the danger, still the more the honour. This would do rarely in an abbey window, Last, to your confessor I came, who told me To cozen pilgrims :You were too proud to pray;—and here I have Per. Prithee, leave prating. found ye!
Estif. And here's a chain of whitings' eyes Per. She bears up bravely, and the rogue is
for pearls, witty,
A mussel-monger would have made a better.But I shall dash it instantly to nothing.
Per. Nay, prithee wife, my clothes, my clothes. Here leave we off our wanton languages,
Estif. I'll tell ye, And now conclude we in a sharper tongue. Your clothes are parallels to these, all counterWhy am I cozen'd?
feit: Estif. Why am I abused ?
Put these and them on, you are a man of copPer. Thou most vile, base, abominable
per, Estif. Captain!
A kind of candlestick !—These you thought, my Per. Thou stinking, overstew'd, poor, pocky
husband, Estif. Captain !
To have cozen'd me withal, but I am quit with Per. Do you echo me?
you. Estif. Yes, sir, and go before ye,
Per. Is there no house then, nor no grounds And round about ye:—Why do you rail at me
about it? For that that was your own sin, your own kna- No plate nor hangings ? very ?
Estif. There are nonc, sweet husband ! Per. And brave me too?
Shadow for shadow is as equal justice.Estif. You had best now draw your sword, Can you rail now ?-Pray put up your fury, sir, captain;
And speak great words ! You are a soldier ! Draw it upon a woman, do, brave captain !
Thunder! Upon your wife, oh inost renowned captain ! - Per. I will speak little : I have play'd the fool,
Per. A plague upon thee, answer me directly, And so I am rewarded. Why didst thou marry me?
Estif. You have spoke well, sir : Estif. To be my husband.
And now I see you are so conformable, I had thought you had had infinite, but I am I'll heighten you again :-Go to your house, cozen'd.
They are packing to be gone :-You must sup Per. Why didst thou flatter me, and shew me
there :wonders ?
I'll meet ye, and bring clothes and clean shirts Aliouse and riches, when they are but shadows,
after; Shadows to me?
And all things shall be well. I'll colt you once Estif. Why did you work on me,
more, (It was but my part to requite you, sir,)
And teach you to bring copper ! (Aside. With your strong soldier's wit, and swore you Per. Tell me one thing, would bring m
I do beseech ye tell me, tell me truth, wife; So much in chains, so much in jewe!s, husband; However, I forgive thee; art thou honest ? So inuch in right rich clothes!
The beldam sworePer. Thou hast 'em, rascal;
Eslit. I bid her tell you so, sir.
It was my plot:-Alas, my credulous husband, And view 'em right,-
Cac. To doubt 'ein, is an heresy.
Estif. A thousand ducats :—'Tis upon ne Estif. Still 'twas my way, and all to try your
cessity sufferance :
Of present use; her husband, sir, is stubborn And she denied the house?
Cac. Long may he be so. Per. She knew me not,
Estif. She desires, withal, a better knowledge No, nor no title that I had.
of your parts and person ; Estif. 'Twas well carried :
And when you please to do her so much hoNo more, I am right and strait. Per. I would believe thee,
Cac. Come, let's dispatch. But heaven knows how my heart is !-Will ye *Estif
. In troth I have heard her say, sir, follow me?
Of a fat man she has not seen sweeter! Estif. I'll be there strait.
But in this business, sirPer. I am fooled, yet dare not find it.
Cuc. Let's do it first,
(Exit Per. And then dispute; the lady's use may long for't. Estif. Go, silly fool! thou may'st be a good Estif. All secrecy she would desire; she told me soldier
How wise you are. In open field, but for our private service
Cac. We are not wise to talk thus:Thou art an ass!—I'll make thee so, or miss Carry her the gold ! I'll look her out a jewel else.
Shall sparkle like her eyes, and thee another:
Come, prithee come, I long to serve thy lady, Enter CACAFOGO.
Long monstrously!-Now, valour, I shall meet ye, Here comes another trout that I must tickle, You that dare dukes ! And tickle daintily, I have lost my end else. Estif. Green goose, you are now in sippets. May I crave your leave, sir ?
Ereunt. Cac. Prithee be answered, thou shalt crave no leave;
Enter the Duke, SanchiO, JUAN, and Alonzo. I am in my meditations, do not vex me.
Duke. He shall not have his will, I shall preA beaten thing, but this hour a most bruised
vent him ; thing,
I have a toy here that will turn the tide, That people had compassion on, it looked so: And suddenly and strangely :-Here, Don Juan, The next sir Palmerin; here's fine proportion, Do you present it to him. An ass and then an elephant :-Sweet justice! Juan. I am commanded.
[E.rit. There's no way left to come at her now, no Duke. A fellow founded out of charity, craving.
And moulded to the height, contemn his maker, If money could come near, yet I would pay him: Curb the free hand that fram'd him!--This must I have a mind to make him a huge cuckold,
not be. And money may do much: A thousand ducats ! Sanch. That such an oyster-shell should hold 'Tis but the letting blood of a rank heir.
a pearl, Estij. Pray you, hear me!
And of so rare a price, in prison ! Cac. I know thou hast some wedding-ring to Was she made to be the matter of her own unpawn now,
doing, Of silver and gilt, with a blind posie in't; To let a slovenly unwieldy fellow, Love and a mill-horse should go round together, Unruly and self-will’d, dispose her beauties? Or thy child's whistle, or thy squirrel's chain : We suffer all, sir, in this sad eclipse; I'll none of 'em :- I would she did but know me; She should shine where she might show like Or would this fellow had but use of money,
herself, That I might come in any way.
An absolute sweetness, to comfort those adEstif. I am gone, sir,
mire her, And I shall tell the beauty sent me to ye, And shed her beams upon her friends ! The lady Margarita
We are gull'd all, Cac. Stay, I prithee,
And all the world will grumble at your patience, What is thy will ?-I turn me wholly to ye, If she be ravish'd thus. And talk now till thy tongue ach, I will hear ye. Duke. Ne'er fear it, Sanchio, Estif. She would intreat you, sir
We'll have her free again, and move at court Cac. She shall command, sir !
In her clear orb: But one sweet handsomeness Let it be so, I beseech thee, my sweet gentle- To bless this part of Spain, and have that slubwoman!
ber'd! Do not forget thyself.
Alon. 'Tis every good man's cause, and we Estif. She does command then
must stir in it. This courtesy, because she knows you are noble. Duke. I'll warrant ye, he shall be glad to please Cac. Your mistress by the way?
us, Estif. My natural mistress.
And glad to share too :-We shall hear anon Upon these jewels, sir, they are fair and rich, A new song from him ;-Let's attend a little.