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Lieut.-Gen. Give fire, give fire, at once give fire, Bayes. Yes, it has fancy in't. And then, sir, and let those recreant troops perceive mine ire. that there may be something in't too of joke, I John. Pursue, pursue: they fly,

bring 'em all in singing, and make the moon sell That first did give the lie.

(Excunt. the earth a bargain.-Come, coine out Eclipse, to Bayes. This, now, is not improper, I think; be the tune of Tom Tyler. cause the spectators know all these towns, and may easily conceive them to be within the domi

Enter Luxa. nions of the two kings of Brentford.

Luna. Orbis, O Orbis ! John. Most exceeding well designed !

Come to me, thou little rogue,

Orbis. Bayes. How do you think I have contrived to give a stop to this battle ?

Enter the Earth. Smi. How?

Orb. Who calls Terra Firma, pray ? Bayes. By an eclipse; which, let me tell you, Luna. Luna, that ne'er shines by day. is a kind of fancy that was yet never so much as Orb. What means Luna in a veil ? thought of but by myself, and one person more,

Luna. Luna means to shew her tail. that shall be nameless.

Bayes. There's the bargain.
Enter Lieutenant-General.

Enter Sol, to the tune of Robin Hood. Lieut.-Gen. What midnight darkness does in Sol. Fie, sister, fie; thou mak'st me muse, vade the day,

Derry, derry down, And snatch the victor from his conquered prey ? To see thee Orb abuse. Is the sun weary of his bloody fight,

Luna. I hope his anger 't will not move, And winks upon us with the eye of light? Since I shewed it out of love. 'Tis an eclipse. This was unkind, O moon!

Hey down, derry down. To clap between me and the sun so soon.

Orb. Where shall I thy true love know, Foolish eclipse; thou this in vain hast done; Thou pretty, pretty moon

n? My brighter honour had eclipsed the sun :

Luna. To-morrow, soon, ere it be noon, But now behold eclipses two in one. (Erit. On Mount Vesuvio.

(Bis. John. This is an admirable representation of a

Sol. Then I will shine. battle, as ever I saw.

(To the tune of Trenchmore. Bayes. Ay, sir. But how would you fancy to Orb. And I will be fine. represent an cclipse?

Luna. And I will drink nothing but Lippary wine. Smi. Why, that's to be supposed.

Omncs. And we, &c. Buyes. Supposed! Ay, you are ever at your

[As they dance the hey, BAYES speuks. suppose; ha, ha, ha! Why, you may as well sup Bayes. Now the earth's before the moon; now pose the whole play. No, it must come in upon the moon's before the suo : there's the eclipse the stage, that's certain, but in some odd way, again. that may delight, amuse, and all that. I have a Smi. He's mightily taken with this, I see. conceit for't, that, I am sure, is new, and, I believe, John. Ay, 'tis so extraordinary, how can he to the purpose.

choose? John. How's that?

Bayes. So, now, vanish Eclipse, and enter t'other Barcs. Why, the truth is, I took the first hint battle, and fight. Here now, if I am not mistaof this out of a dialogue between Phæbus and ken, you will see fighting enough. Anrora, in the Slighted Maid, which, by my troth, (A battle is fought between foot and great hotwas very pretty ; but, I think, you'll confess this by-horses. di lust, DrawCANsir comes in, is a little better.

and kills them all on both sides. All this John. No doubt on't, Mr Bayes, a great deal while the battle is fighting, BAYES is telling better.

them when to shout, and shouts with them. (BAYES hugs JOHNSON, then turns to SMITH. Drau. Others may boast a single man to kill,

Bayes. Ah, dear rogue ! But-a-sir, you have But I the blood of thousands daily spill. heard, I suppose, that your eclipse of the moon Let petty kings the name of parties know: is nothing else but an interposition of the earth Where'er I come I slay both friend and foe : between the sun and moon; as, likewise, your The swiftest horsemen my swift rage controuls, eclipse of the sun is caused by an interlocation And from their bodies drives their trembling souls: of the moon betwist the earth and the sun ? If they had wings, and to the gods could fly,

Smi. I have heard some such thing indeed. I would pursue, and beat them through the sky,

Baycs. Well, sir, then what do I, but make the And make proud Jove, with all his thunder, see carth, sun, and moon, come out upon the stage, This single arm more dreadful is than he. (Exit. and dance the hey: bum; and, of necessity, by Bayes. There's a brave fellow for you now, the very nature of this dance, the earth must be sirs. You may talk of your Hectors, and Achilsometinies between the sun and the moon, and leses

, and I know not who, but I defy all your histie moon between the earth and sun: and there tories, and your romances too, to show me one you have both your eclipses by demonstration. such conqueror as this Drawcansir.

John. That must needs be very fine, truly. John. I swear, I think you may.

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away?

Smi. But, Mr Bayes, how shall all these dead', comfort has a man to write for such dull rogues? men go off ; for I see none alive to help 'em ? -Come, Mr--a-Where are you, sir? Come

Bayes. Go off! why, as they came on ; upon away ; quick, quick. their legs : how should they go off? Why, do you think the people here don't know they are not

Enter Stage-Keeper. dead ?-He is mighty ignorant, poor man. Your S.-Keep. Sir, they are gone to dinner. friend here is very silly, Mr Johnson, 'egad, he is ; Bayes. Yes, I know the gentlemen are gone ; ha, ha, ha! Come, sir, I'll shew you how they but I ask for the players. shall go off.-Rise, rise, sirs, and go about your S.-Keep. Why an't please your worship, sir, the business. There's

's go off for you now; ha, ha, players are gone to dinner too. ha!-Mr Ivory, a word.—Gentlemen, I'll be with Bayes. How ! Are the players gone to dinner? you presently.

(Exit. 'Tis impossible! The players gone to dinner! John. Will you so ? Then we'll be gone. 'Egad, if they are, I'll make em know what it is to

Smi.. I pr’ythee let's go, that we may preserve injure a person that does them the honour to write our hearing ; one battle more will take mine for 'em, and all that. A company of proud, conquite away.

(Exeunt. ceited, humourous, cross-grained persons, and all Enter Bayes and Players.

that. 'Egad, I'll make 'em the most contemptible,

despicable, inconsiderable persons, and all that, Bayes. Where are the gentlemen ?

in the whole world for this trick. 'Egad, I'll be 1st Play. They are gone, sir.

revenged on 'em :-I'll sell this play to the other Bayes. Gone! 'Sdeath! this last act is best of house. all. I'll go fetch 'em again.

(Exit. S.-Keep. Nay, good sir, don't take away the 1st Play. What shall we do, now he is gone book; you'll disappoint the company that comes

to see it acted here, this afternoon. 2d Play. Why, so much the better; then let's Bayes. That's all one. I must reserve this go to dinner.

comfort to myself: my play and I shall go toges 3d Pluy. Stay, here's a foul piece of paper; let's ther; we will not part, indeed, sir. see what 'tis.

S.-Keep. But what will the town say, sir? 3d or 4th Play. Ay, ay ; come, let's hear it. Bayes. The town! Why, what care I for the 3d Play. (Reads.] The argument of the

fifth act. town? ’Egad, the town has used me as scurvily as -Cloris, at length, being sensible of Prince Pretty- the players have done: but I'll be revenged on man's passion, consents to marry him; but, just them too; for I'll lampoon 'em all: and since as they are going to church, Prince Prettyman they will not admit of my plays, they shall know meeting, by chance, with old Joan, the chandler's what a satirist I am. And so, farewell to this widow, and remembering it was she that first stage, ’egad, for ever.

[Exit BAYES. brought himn acquainted with Cloris, out of a high point of honour, breaks off his match with Cloris,

Enter Players. and marries old Joan; upon which, Cloris, in 1st Play. Come, then, let's set up bills for anodespair, drowns herself, and Prince Prettyman ther play. discontentedly walks by the river-side. This will 2d Play. Ay, ay; we shall lose nothing by this, never do: 'Tis just like the rest.—Come, let's be I warrant you. gone.

(Exeunt. 1st Play. I am of your opinion. But, before we Most of the Play. Ay, pox on't, let's be gone. go, let's see Haynes and Shirley practise the last Enter BAYES.

dance ; for that may serve us another time.

2d Play. I'll call 'em in ; I think they are but in Bayes. A plague on ’em both for me! they have the tyring-room.

[The dance done. made me sweat to run after 'em: A couple of 1st Play. Come, come ; let's go away to dinner, senseless rascals, that had rather go to dinner

(Exeunt omnes. than see this play out, with a pox to 'em! What

EPILOGUE

The play is at an end, but where's the plot?
That circumstance the poet Bayes forgot.
And we can boast, though 'tis a plotting age,
No place is freer from it than the stage.

The ancients plotted, though, and strove to please,
With sense that might be understood with ease;
They every scene with so much wit did store,
That who brought any in, went out with more..

But this new way of wit does so surprise,
Men lose their wits in wondering where it lies.
If it be true that monstrous births presage
The following mischiefs that afflict the age,
And sad disasters to the state proclaim;
Plays without head or tail may do the same :

Wherefore, for ours, and for the kingdom's peace,
May this prodigious way of writing cease:
Let's have, at least once in our lives, a time
When we may hear some reason, not all rhyme:
We have these ten years felt its influence;
Pray let this prove a year of prose and sense.

KEY TO THE REHEARSAL.

ACT I:

Page 219, line 12, first col.
Page 216, line 28, second col.

Bayes. No, sir, there are certain ties upon « Bayes. In fine, it shall read, and write, and me, that I cannot be disengaged from." act, and plot, and shew, ay, and pit, box, and gal He contracted with the king's company of acJery, 'egad, with any play in Europe."

tors, in the year 1668, for a whole share, to The usual language of the Hon. Edward How. write them four plays a-year. ard, Esq., at the rehearsal of his plays.

Ibid, line 47.
Ibid, line 56.

“ So boar and sow, when any storm is nigh, “ Bayes. These my rules.”

Snuff up, and smeli it gathering in the sky; He who writ this, not without pain and thought, Boar beckons sow to trot to chesnut groves, From French and English theatres has brought And there consummate their unfinish'd loves : Th’exactest rules by which a play is wrought,-- Pensive in mud they wallow all alone, The unity of action, place, and time,

And snore and gruntle to each other's moan.

"S The scenes unbroken, and a mingled chime Of Johnson's humour with Corneille's rhyme.

In ridicule of this.
Prologue to the Maiden Queen. So two kind turtles, when a storm is nigh,

Look up, and see it gathering in the sky;
Page 217, line 29, second col.

Each calls his mate to shelter in the groves, “Bayes. I writ that part only for her. You Leaving, in murmurs, their unfinish'd loves : must know she is my mistress."

Perch'd on some dropping branch, they sit alone, The part of Amarillis was acted by Mrs Anne And coo, and hearken to each other's moan.: Reeves, who, at that time, was kept by Mr Bayes.

Conquest of Granada, part II. p. 48. Page 218, line 28, first col.

Ibid, line 16, second col. Two kings of Brentford, supposed to be the Thun. I am the bold Thunder. two brothers, the king and the duke. -See page Light. The brisk Lightning I.” 239, line 16, second col.

I am the evening as dark as night.

Slighted Maid, p. 18. Ibid, line 58. See the two Prologues to the Maiden Queen.

Ibid, line 29.

Let the men 'ware the ditches;
Ibid, line 39, second col.

Maids look to their breeches; “I have printed above a hundred sheets of We'll scratch them with briers and thistles. paper, to insinuate the plot into the boxes.”

Ibid, p. 49. There were printed papers given the audience, before the acting the Indian Emperor, telling them

Ibid, line 46. that it was the sequel of the Indian Queen, part

Abraham Ivory had formerly been a considerof which play was written by Mr Bayes, &c. able actor of women's parts, but afterwards stupi

fied himself so far, with drinking strong waters, Ibid, line 54.

that, before the first acting this farce, he was fit “ Persons, 'egad, I vow to gad, and all that,” for nothing but to go of errands, for which, and is the constant style of Failer, in the Wild Gal mere charity, the company allowed him a week

for which take this short speech, instead of ly salary. many. Failer. “Really, madam, I look upon you as

ACT. II. a person of such worth, and all that, that, I vow

Ibid, line 56, first col. to gad, I honour you of all persons in the world ; and tho' I am a person that am inconsiderable in “I begin this play with a whisper." the world, and all that, madam, yet, for a person

Drake Sen. Draw up your men, of your worth and excellency, I would”

And in low whispers give our orders out.
Wild Gallant, p. 8.

Play-house to be Let.

lant;

See the Amorous Prince, p. 20, 22, 39, 69, He is our long lost king, found for this moment, where you will find all the chief commands and But if your valours help not, lost for ever. directions are given in whispers.

Two of his guards, mov'd by the sense of virtue,

Are turn’d for him; and there they stand at bay, Page 220, line 19, second col.

Against an host of foes. “Mr William Wintershall was a most excel

Marriage a-la-Mode, p. 69. lent, judicious actor, and the best instructor of This shews Mr Bayes to be a man of great others. He died in July, 1679.

constancy, and firm to his resolution, and not to

be laughed out of his own method, agreeable to Ibid, line 53.

what he says in the next act :Bayes: If I am to write familiar things, as “ As long as I know my things are good, what sonnets.”-See line 53, second column of this care I what they say.” page. Page 221, line 10, first col.

Page 223, line 3, first col. “ Take snuff.” He was a great taker of snuff,

“ Hey-day! hey-day! I know not what to do, and made most of it himself.

nor what to say."

I know not what to say, or what to think !
Ibid, line 26, second co!.

I know not when I sleep, or when I wake! “ Intrigue in a late play.”

Love and Friendship, p. 46. The Lost Lady, by Sir Robert Stapelton.

My doubts and fears my reason do dismay;

I know not what to do, or what to say.
Ibid, line 51.

Pandora, p. 46. “As some tall pine, which we on Etna find

ACT III.
T have stood the rage of many a boist’rous wind,

Ibid, line 56, second col.
Feeling without that flames within do play,
Which would consume his root and sap away,

Prince Pretty man and Tom Thimble: Failer, He spreads his woorsted arms unto the skies,

and Bibber, his tailor, in the Wild Gallant, p. 5, 6. Silently grieves, all pale, repines, and dies ; So, shrouded up, your bright eye disappears.

Page 224, line 29, first col. Break forth, bright scorching sun, and dry my

Bayes. There's a bob for the court." tears.

Nay, if that be all, there's no such haste : the In imitation of this passage.

courtiers are not so forward to pay their debts.

Wild Gallant, p. 9. As some fair tulip, by a storm oppressed, Shrinks and folds its silken arins to rest,

Ibid, line 35. up, And, bending to the blast, all pale and dead, “ Thimb. Ay, sir, in your own coin: you give Hears from within the wind sing round its head; me nothing but words." So, shrouded up, your beauty disappears :

Take a little Bibber, Unveil, my love, and lay aside your fears,

And throw him in the river; The storm that caus’d your fright is past and

And if he will trust never, gone. -Conquest of Granada, part I. p. 55. Then there let him lie ever.

Bibber. Then, say I,
Page 222, line 58, second col.

Take a little Failer, Bayes. The whole state's turn'd,” &c.

And throw him to the gaoler, Such easy turns of state are frequent in our And there let him lie modern plays, where we see princes dethroned, Till he has paid his tailor. and governments changed, by very feeble means,

Wild Gallant, p. 12. and on slight occasions; particularly in Marriage a-la-Mode, a play writ since the first publication

Ibid, line 43. of this farce, where (to pass by the dulness of the Bayes. Ay, pretty well, but -he does not state part, the obscurity of the comic, the near top his part.' resemblance Leonidas bears to our Prince Pret A great word with Mr Edward Howard. tyman, being sometimes a king's son, sometimes a shepherd's, and not to question how Amalthea

Ibid, line 7, second col. comes to be a princess, her brother, the king's Bayes. As long as I know my things are great favourite, being but a lord) ’tis worth our good, what care 1."-See line 37, first column of while to observe how easily the fierce and jealous this page. usurper is deposed, and the right heir placed on the throne; and it is thus related by the said

Ibid, line 33. imaginary princess :

Song. In swords, pikes, and bullets, 'tis safer Ainalth. Oh! gentlemen, if you have loyalty to be, Or courage, shew it now: Leonidas

Than in a strong castle remoted from thee. Broke on a sudden from his guards, and snatching My death’s bruise, pray think, you gave me, tho' A sword from one, his back against the scaffold, Bravely defends himself, and owns aloud Did give it me more, from the top of a wall ;

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a fall

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