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Lieut-Gen. Give fire, give fire, at once give fire, and let those recreant troops perceive mine ire. John. Pursue, pursue: they fly, That first did give the lie.

[Exeunt. Bayes. This, now, is not improper, I think; because the spectators know all these towns, and may easily conceive them to be within the dominions of the two kings of Brentford.

John. Most exceeding well designed! Bayes. How do you think I have contrived to give a stop to this battle?

Smi. How?

Bayes. By an eclipse; which, let me tell you, is a kind of fancy that was yet never so much as thought of but by myself, and one person more, that shall be nameless.

Enter Lieutenant-General.

Lieut.-Gen. What midnight darkness does in-
vade the day,

And snatch the victor from his conquered prey?
Is the sun weary of his bloody fight,
And winks upon us with the eye of light?
'Tis an eclipse.-This was unkind, O moon!
To clap between me and the sun so soon.
Foolish eclipse; thou this in vain hast done;
My brighter honour had eclipsed the sun
But now behold eclipses two in one.

[Exit. John. This is an admirable representation of a battle, as ever I saw.

Bayes. Ay, sir. But how would you fancy represent an eclipse?

Smi. Why, that's to be supposed.

Bayes. Supposed! Ay, you are ever at your suppose; ha, ha, ha! Why, you may as well suppose the whole play. No, it must come in upon the stage, that's certain, but in some odd way, that may delight, amuse, and all that. I have a conceit for't, that, I am sure, is new, and, I believe, to the purpose.

John. How's that?

Bayes. Why, the truth is, I took the first hint of this out of a dialogue between Phœbus and Aurora, in the Slighted Maid, which, by my troth, was very pretty; but, I think, you'll confess this is a little better.

John. No doubt on't, Mr Bayes, a great deal

better.

(BAYES hugs JOHNSON, then turns to SMITH. Bayes. Ah, dear rogue! But-a-sir, you have heard, I suppose, that your eclipse of the moon is nothing else but an interposition of the earth between the sun and moon; as, likewise, your eclipse of the sun is caused by an interlocation of the moon betwixt the earth and the sun?

Smi. I have heard some such thing indeed. Bayes. Well, sir, then what do I, but make the earth, sun, and moon, come out upon the stage, and dance the hey: hum; and, of necessity, by the very nature of this dance, the earth must be sometimes between the sun and the moon, and the moon between the earth and sun: and there you have both your eclipses by demonstration.

John. That must needs be very fine, truly.

Bayes. Yes, it has fancy in't. And then, sir, that there may be something in't too of joke, I bring 'em all in singing, and make the moon sell the earth a bargain.-Come, come out Eclipse, to the tune of Tom Tyler.

Enter LUNA.

Luna. Orbis, O Orbis !
Come to me, thou little rogue, Orbis.
Enter the Earth.

Orb. Who calls Terra Firma, pray?
Luna. Luna, that ne'er shines by day.
Orb. What means Luna in a veil ?
Luna. Luna means to shew her tail.
Bayes. There's the bargain.

Enter SOL, to the tune of Robin Hood.
Sol. Fie, sister, fie; thou makʼst me muse,
Derry, derry down,

To see thee Orb abuse.
Luna. I hope his anger 'twill not move,
Since I shewed it out of love.

Hey down, derry down.

Orb. Where shall I thy true love know,

Thou pretty, pretty moon?

Luna. To-morrow, soon, ere it be noon,

On Mount Vesuvio.

Sol. Then I will shine.

Orb. And I will be fine.

[Bis.

[To the tune of Trenchmore.

Luna. And I will drink nothing but Lippary wine.
Omnes. And we, &c.

[As they dance the hey, BAYES speaks. Bayes. Now the earth's before the moon; now the moon's before the sun: there's the eclipse again.

Smi. He's mightily taken with this, I see. John. Ay, 'tis so extraordinary, how can he choose?

Bayes. So, now, vanish Eclipse, and enter t'other battle, and fight. Here now, if I am not mistaken, you will see fighting enough.

[A battle is fought between foot and great hobby-horses. At last, DRAWCANSIR comes in, and kills them all on both sides. All this while the battle is fighting, BAYES is telling them when to shout, and shouts with them. Draw. Others may boast a single man to kill, But I the blood of thousands daily spill. Let petty kings the name of parties know: Where'er I come I slay both friend and foe : The swiftest horsemen my swift rage controuls, And from their bodies drives their trembling souls: If they had wings, and to the gods could fly, I would pursue, and beat them through the sky, And make proud Jove, with all his thunder, see This single arm more dreadful is than he. [Exit.

Bayes. There's a brave fellow for you now, sirs. You may talk of your Hectors, and Achilleses, and I know not who, but I defy all your histories, and your romances too, to shew me one such conqueror as this Drawcansir,

John. I swear, I think you may.

Smi. But, Mr Bayes, how shall all these dead men go off; for I see none alive to help 'em? Bayes. Go off! why, as they came on; upon their legs: how should they go off? Why, do you think the people here don't know they are not dead?-He is mighty ignorant, poor man. Your friend here is very silly, Mr Johnson, 'egad, he is; ha, ha, ha! Come, sir, I'll shew you how they shall go off-Rise, rise, sirs, and go about your business.-There's go off for you now; ha, ha, ha!-Mr Ivory, a word.-Gentlemen, I'll be with you presently. [Exit. John. Will you so? Then we'll be gone. Smi. I pr'ythee let's go, that we may preserve our hearing; one battle more will take mine quite away. [Exeunt.

Enter BAYES and Players. Bayes. Where are the gentlemen? 1st Play. They are gone, sir. Bayes. Gone! 'Sdeath! this last act is best of all. I'll go fetch 'em again. [Exit. 1st Play. What shall we do, now he is gone away?

2d Play. Why, so much the better; then let's go to dinner.

3d Play. Stay, here's a foul piece of paper; let's see what 'tis.

3d or 4th Play. Ay, ay; come, let's hear it. 3d Play. [Reads.] The argument of the fifth act. -Cloris, at length, being sensible of Prince Prettyman's passion, consents to marry him; but, just as they are going to church, Prince Prettyman meeting, by chance, with old Joan, the chandler's widow, and remembering it was she that first brought him acquainted with Cloris, out of a high point of honour, breaks off his match with Cloris, and marries old Joan; upon which, Cloris, in despair, drowns herself, and Prince Prettyman discontentedly walks by the river-side.-This will never do: "Tis just like the rest.-Come, let's be [Exeunt.

gone.

Most of the Play. Ay, pox on't, let's be gone. Enter BAYES.

Bayes. A plague on 'em both for me! they have made me sweat to run after 'em: A couple of senseless rascals, that had rather go to dinner than see this play out, with a pox to 'em! What

comfort has a man to write for such dull rogues? -Come, Mr-a- Where are you, sir? Come away; quick, quick.

Enter Stage-Keeper.

S.-Keep. Sir, they are gone to dinner. Bayes. Yes, I know the gentlemen are gone; but I ask for the players.

S.-Keep. Why an't please your worship, sir, the players are gone to dinner too.

Bayes. How! Are the players gone to dinner? 'Tis impossible! The players gone to dinner! 'Egad, if they are, I'll make 'em know what it is to injure a person that does them the honour to write for 'em, and all that. A company of proud, conceited, humourous, cross-grained persons, and all that. 'Egad, I'll make 'em the most contemptible, despicable, inconsiderable persons, and all that, in the whole world for this trick. 'Egad, I'll be revenged on 'cm :-I'll sell this play to the other house.

S.-Keep. Nay, good sir, don't take away the book; you'll disappoint the company that comes to see it acted here, this afternoon.

Bayes. That's all one. I must reserve this comfort to myself: my play and I shall go toge ther; we will not part, indeed, sir.

S.-Keep. But what will the town say, sir?

Bayes. The town! Why, what care I for the town? 'Egad, the town has used me as scurvily as the players have done: but I'll be revenged on them too; for I'll lampoon 'em all and since they will not admit of my plays, they shall know what a satirist I am. And so, farewell to this stage, 'egad, for ever. [Exit BAYES.

Enter Players.

:

1st Play. Come, then, let's set up bills for another play.

2d Play. Ay, ay; we shall lose nothing by this, I warrant you.

1st Play. I am of your opinion. But, before we go, let's see Haynes and Shirley practise the last dance; for that may serve us another time. 2d Play. I'll call 'em in; I think they are but in the tyring-room. [The dance done. 1st Play. Come, come; let's go away to dinner, [Exeunt omnes.

EPILOGUE.

THE play is at an end, but where's the plot? That circumstance the poet Bayes forgot. And we can boast, though 'tis a plotting age, No place is freer from it than the stage.

The ancients plotted, though, and strove to please, With sense that might be understood with ease; They every scene with so much wit did store, That who brought any in, went out with more

But this new way of wit does so surprise,
Men lose their wits in wondering where it lies.
If it be true that monstrous births presage
The following mischiefs that afflict the age,
And sad disasters to the state proclaim;
Plays without head or tail may do the same:

Wherefore, for ours, and for the kingdom's peace,
May this prodigious way of writing cease:
Let's have, at least once in our lives, a time
When we may hear some reason, not all rhyme:
We have these ten years felt its influence;
Pray let this prove a year of prose and sense.

KEY TO THE REHEARSAL.

ACT I:

Page 216, line 28, second col.

Bayes. In fine, it shall read, and write, and act, and plot, and shew, ay, and pit, box, and gallery, 'egad, with any play in Europe."

The usual language of the Hon. Edward Howard, Esq., at the rehearsal of his plays. Ibid, line 56.

"Bayes. These my rules."

He who writ this, not without pain and thought,
From French and English theatres has brought
Th' exactest rules by which a play is wrought,--
The unity of action, place, and time,
The scenes unbroken, and a mingled chime
Of Johnson's humour with Corneille's rhyme.
Prologue to the Maiden Queen.

Page 217, line 29, second col. "Bayes. I writ that part only for her. You must know she is my mistress.'

"

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So two kind turtles, when a storm is nigh,
Look up, and see it gathering in the sky;
Each calls his mate to shelter in the groves,
Leaving, in murmurs, their unfinish'd loves:
Perch'd on some dropping branch, they sit alone,
And coo, and hearken to each other's moan.

Conquest of Granada, part II. p. 48.

Ibid, line 16, second col.
"Thun. I am the bold Thunder.
Light. The brisk Lightning I."
I am the evening as dark as night.

Slighted Maid, p. 48.

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See the Amorous Prince, p. 20, 22, 39, 69, | where you will find all the chief commands and directions are given in whispers.

Page 220, line 19, second col.

"Mr William Wintershall was a most excellent, judicious actor, and the best instructor of others. He died in July, 1679."

Ibid, line 53.

"Bayes: If I am to write familiar things, as sonnets. "-See line 53, second column of this page.

Page 221, line 10, first col.

"Take snuff." He was a great taker of snuff, and made most of it himself.

Ibid, line 26, second co!.

"Intrigue in a late play.'

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The Lost Lady, by Sir Robert Stapelton.
Ibid, line 51.

"As some tall pine, which we on Etna find
T' have stood the rage of many a boist❜rous wind,
Feeling without that flames within do play,
Which would consume his root and sap away,
He spreads his woorsted arms unto the skies,
Silently grieves, all pale, repines, and dies;
So, shrouded up, your bright eye disappears.
Break forth, bright scorching sun, and dry my
tears."

In imitation of this passage.

As some fair tulip, by a storm oppressed,
Shrinks up, and folds its silken arms to rest,
And, bending to the blast, all pale and dead,

He is our long lost king, found for this moment,
But if your valours help not, lost for ever.
Two of his guards, mov'd by the sense of virtue,
Are turn'd for him; and there they stand at bay,
Against an host of foes.

Marriage a-la-Mode, p. 69. This shews Mr Bayes to be a man of great constancy, and firm to his resolution, and not to be laughed out of his own method, agreeable to what he says in the next act:

"As long as I know my things are good, what care I what they say."

Page 223, line 3, first col.
Hey-day! hey-day! I know not what to do,
nor what to say."

I know not what to say, or what to think!
I know not when I sleep, or when I wake!
Love and Friendship, p. 46.
My doubts and fears my reason do dismay;
I know not what to do, or what to say.

ACT III.

Pandora, p. 46.

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“Thimb. Ay, sir, in your own coin: you give

Hears from within the wind sing round its head; | me nothing but words."

So, shrouded up, your beauty disappears:
Unveil, my love, and lay aside your fears,-
The storm that caus'd your fright is past and
gone. Conquest of Granada, part I. p. 55.

Page 222, line 58, second col.

"Bayes. The whole state's turn'd," &c.
Such easy turns of state are frequent in our
modern plays, where we see princes dethroned,
and governments changed, by very feeble means,
and on slight occasions; particularly in Marriage
a-la-Mode, a play writ since the first publication
of this farce, where (to pass by the dulness of the
state part, the obscurity of the comic, the near
resemblance Leonidas bears to our Prince Pret-
tyman, being sometimes a king's son, sometimes
a shepherd's, and not to question how Amalthea
comes to be a princess, her brother, the king's
great favourite, being but a lord) 'tis worth our
while to observe how easily the fierce and jealous
usurper is deposed, and the right heir placed on
the throne; and it is thus related by the said
imaginary princess:

Amalth. Oh! gentlemen, if you have loyalty
Or courage, shew it now: Leonidas
Broke on a sudden from his guards, and snatching
A sword from one, his back against the scaffold,
Bravely defends himself, and owns aloud

Take a little Bibber,

And throw him in the river;
And if he will trust never,
Then there let him lie ever.
Bibber. Then, say I,
Take a little Failer,

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And throw him to the gaoler,
And there let him lie
Till he has paid his tailor.

Wild Gallant, p. 12.

Ibid, line 43.

Bayes. Ay, pretty well, but--he does not top his part."

A great word with Mr Edward Howard.

Ibid, line 7, second col.

Bayes. As long as I know my things are good, what care I."-See line 37, first column of this page.

Ibid, line 33.

Song. In swords, pikes, and bullets, 'tis safer
to be,

Than in a strong castle remoted from thee.
My death's bruise, pray think, you gave me, tho'

a fall

Did give it me more, from the top of a wall;

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