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never encourage young men to covet their neigh-, with one hand, and then knock me down with bours' wives.
the other. Belo. My heart assures me that she is not mar Har. Well, well, she sha'n't be married. ried,
(Knocking at the door.] This is Sparkish, I supHar. O! to be sure, your heart is much to be pose: don't drop the least hint of your passion relied upon-but to convince you that I have a to him; if you do, you may as well advertise it in fellow-feeling of your distress, and that I am as
the public papers. nearly allied to you in misfortunes as in relation Belv. I'll be careful. ship
-you must knowBelt. What, uncle? You alarm me!
Enter Servant. Har. That I am in love too.
Serv. An odd sort of a person, from the counBelv. Indeed!
try, I believe, who calls himself Moody, wants to Har, Miserably in love.
see you, sir; but as I did not know him, I said Belo. That's charming.
you were not at home, but would return directo Har. And my mistress is just going to be ly; and so will I too, said he, very short and surmarried to another.
lily! and away he went, mumbling to himself. Belv. Better and better.
Har. Very well, Will—I'll see him when he Har. I knew my fellow-sufferings would please comes. (Exit Servant.] Moody call to see me! you ; but now prepare for the wonderful woneker -He has something more in his head than maof wonders!
king me a visit—'tis to complain of you, I supBelo. Well.
pose. Har. My mistress is in the same house with Belv. How can he know me? yours.
Hur. We must suppose the worst, and be Belv. What! are you in love with Peggy too? prepared for him.-Tell me all you know of this
(Rising from his chair. ward of his, this Peggy-Peggy, what's her Har. Well said, jealousy.—No, no, set your name? heart at rest.—Your Peggy is too young, and too Belv. Thrift, Thrift, uncle. simple for me. I must have one a little more Har. Ay, ay, Sir Thomas Thrift's daughter, knowing, a little better bred, just old enough to see of Hampshire, and left, very young, under the the difference between me and a coxcomb, spirit guardianship of my old acquaintance and comenough to break from a brother's engagements, panion, Jack Moody. and choose for herself.
Belv. Your companion! he's old enough to be Belv. You don't mean Alithea, who is to be married to Mr Sparkish?
Har. Thank you, nephew:- he has greatly the Har. Cann't I be in love with a lady that is advantage of me in years, as well as wisdom. going to be married to another as well as you, When I first launched from the university, into sir ?
this occan of London, he was the greatest rake Belv. But Sparkish is your friend !
in it; I knew him well, for near two years; but, Har. Pr’ythee don't call him my friend: he all of a sudden, he took a freak (a very prudent can be nobody's friend, not even his own one) of retiring wholly into the country. He would thrust himself into my acquaintance, Belv. There he gain’d such an ascendancy would introduce me to his mistress, tho’ I have over the odd disposition of his neighbour, Sir told hiin, again and again, that I was in love with Thomas, that he left him sole guardian to his her, which, instead of ridding me of him, has daughter, who forfeits half her fortune, if she made him only ten times more troublesome and does not marry with his consent—there's the me really in love-He should suffer for his self-devil
, uncle ! sufficiency.
Hur. And are you so young, so foolish, and Belv. 'Tis a conceited puppy !-And what suc so much in love, that you would take her with cess with the lady?
half her value? ha, nephew ? Har. No great hopes—and yet, if I could de Belv. I'll take her with any thing—with nofer the marriage a few days, I should not de- thing. spair :-her honour, I ain confident, is her on Hur. What ! such an unaccomplish’d, awkly attachment to my rival-she cann't like Spark- ward, silly creature: he has scarce taught her to
and if I can work upon his credulity, a cre write; she has seen nobody to converse with, dulity which even popery would be asham’d of, I but the country people about 'em; so she can may yet have the chance of throwing sixes upon do nothing but dangle her arms, look gawky, turn the dice, to save me.
her toes in, and talk broad Hampshire. Belo. Nothing can save me.
Belv. Don't abuse her sweet simplicity-had Har. No, not if you whine and sigb, when you but heard her talk, as I have done, from the you should be exerting every thing that is man garden-wall in the country, by moon-light. about you. I have sent Sparkish, who is admit Hur. Romeo and Juliet, I protest; ha, ha, ha! ted at all hours in the house, to know how the -Arise, fuir sun, and kill the entious - ha, ha, land lies for you, and if she is not married al-ha! How often have you seen this fair Capulet? ready.
Belv. I saw her three times in the country, Belo. How cruel you are-you raise me up) and spoke to her twice ; I have leape an orchard.
wall, like Romeo, to come at her; play'd the, her to-morrow, or the day after. Have you no balcony-scene, from an old summer-house in the honest clergyman, Harcourt, no fellow-collegian garden ; and, if I lose her, I will find out an to recomiend to me to do the business? apothecary, and play the tomb-scene too.
Har. Nothing ever, sure, was so lucky. (Aside.] Har. Well said, Dick!-this spirit must pro- Why, faith, I have, Sparkish: My brother, a twinduce something—but has the old dragon ever brother, Ned Harcourt, will be in town to-day, caught you sighing her?
and proud to attend your commands. I am a Belt. Never in the country:-he saw me yes- very generous rival, you see, to lend you my broterday kissing my hand to her, from the new ta ther to marry the woman I love! vern window that looks upon the back of his Spark. And so am I too, to let your brother house, and immediately drove ber from it, and come so near us—but Ned shall be the man:fasten’d up the window-shutters.
Poor Alithea grows impatient-I cann't put off
(SPARKISH, wil hout. the evil day any longer -I fancy the brute her Spark. Very well, Will, I'll go up to 'em. brother has a mind to marry his country idiot at Hur. I hear Sparkish coming up
the same time. of what I told you—not a word of Peggy ; Belv. How, country idiot, sir ! bear his intelligence, and make use of it, with Har. Taisez vous, bête. (Aside to Belv.] I out seeming to mind it.
thought he had been married already. Belo. Mum, mum, uncle,
Spark. No, no, he's not married, that's the
joke of it. Enter SPARKISH.
Belo. No, no,
he's not married. Spark. O, my dear Harcourt, I shall die with
Har. Hold your tongue. (Elbowing BELVILLE. laughing I have such news for thee- ha, ha, Spark. Not he-I have the finest story to tell ha!-What, your nephew too, and a little dump- you—By the by, he intends calling upon you, ish, or so you have been giving him a lecture for he ask'd me where you liv'd, to complain of upon economy, I suppose-you, who never had modesty there.—He pick'd up an old raking acany, can best describe the evils that arise from quaintance of his, as we came along togetherthe want of it. I never mind my own affairs, Will Frankly, who saw him, with his girl, sculknot I–The gods take care of Cato — hear, ing and muffied up, at the play, last night:-he Mr Belville, you have got a pretty snug house, plagu'd him much about matrimony, and his bewith a bow-window that looks into the Park, anding ashamed to shew himself; swore he was in a hack-door that goes out into it:-very conve love with his wife, and intended to cuckold him. nient and well imagined :-no young, handsome Do you? cry'd Moody, folding his arms, and fellow should be without one--you may be als scowling with his eyes, thus—You must have ways ready there, like a spider in his web, to more wit than you used to have. Besides, if you seize upon stray'd women of quality.
have as much as you think you have, I shall be Har. As you used to do you vain fellow out of your reach, and this profligate metropolis, you: -Pr’ythee don't teach my nephew your in less than a week. Moody would fain have abandoned tricks he is a modest young man, got rid of him, but the other held him by the and you must not spoil him.
sleeve; so I left 'em, rejoiced most luxuriously Spark. May be so;- but his modesty has to see the poor devil tormented. done some mischief at our house-My surly, Belv. I thought you said, just now, that he jealous brother-in-law saw that modest young was not married: is not that a contradiction, gentleman casting a wishful eye at his forbidden sir? (HARCOURT still makes signs to BELVILLE. fruit, from the new tavern window.
Spark. Whiy, it is a kind of one-but, consiBelt. You mistake the person, Mr Sparkísh dering your modesty, and your ignorance of the —I don't know what young lady you mean... young lady, you are pretty tolerably inquisitive,
Hur. Explain yourself, Sparkish; you must inethinks; ha, Harcourt? ha, ha, ha! mistake-Dick has never seen the girl.
Har. Pooh, pooh! don't talk to that boy; tell Spark. I don't say he has ; I only tell you you
know. what Moody says. Besides, he went to the ta Spark. You must know, my booby of a brovern himself, and enquired of the waiter, who ther-in-law hath brought up this ward of his (a dined in the back-room, No. 4, and they told him good fortune, let me tell you) as he coops up and it was Mr Belville, your nephew; that's all I fattens his chickens, for his own eating: he is know of the matter, or desire to know of it, faith. plaguy jealous of her, and was very sorry that he
Har. He kiss'd his hand, indeed, to your lady could not marry her in the country, without Alithea, and is more in love with her than you coming up to town; which he could not do, on are, and very near as much as I am ; so look account of some writings or other; so what does about you; such a youth may be dangerous. my gentleman ?--he persuades the poor silly girl,
Spark. The more danger the more honour: I by breaking a sixpence, or some nonsense or defy you both : Win her and wear her, if you can other, that they are, to all intents, married in hea
Dolus an virtus in love as well as in war ven, but that the laws require the signing of' arthough you must be expeditious, faith; for I be-ticles, and the church-service, to complete their lieve, if I don't change my mind, I shall marry union-so he has made her call him hu: bund,
and Bud, which she constantly does; and he calls Moody. When she is out of my hands, her her wife, and gives out she is married, that she husband must look to consequences. He's a famay not look after younger fellows, nor younger shionable fool, and will cut his horns kindly. fellows after her, 'egad'; ha, ha, ha! and all Har. And what is to secure your worship from won't do.
consequences ?—I did not expect marriage from Belv. Thank you, sir.-What heavenly news,
such a rake-one that knew the town so well :uncle !
(Aside. fie, fie, Jack. Har. What an idiot you are, nephew !-And Moody. I'll tell you my security—I have marso, then, you make but one trouble of it, and are ried no London wife. both to be tack'd together the same day? Har. That's all one-that grave circumspection,
Spark. No, no, he cann't be married this week; in marrying a country wife, is like refusing a dehe damns the lawyers for keeping him in town: ceitful, pamperd Smithfield jade, to go and be
- besides, I am out of favour; and he is con- cheated by a friend in the country. tinually snarling at me, and abusing me, for not Moody. I wish the devil had both him and his being jealous. (Knocking at the door.] There he simile.
Aside. is-I must not be seen with you, for he'll sus Har. Well, never grumble about it; what's pect something; I'll
with your nephew to his done cann't be undone :- Is your wife bandsome house, and we'll wait for you, and make a visit and young ? to my wife, that is to be; and, perhaps, we shall Moody. She has little beauty but her youth; shew young modesty, here, a sight of Peggy nothing to brag of but her health ; and no attoo.
traction but her modesty—wholesome, homely,
and housewifely—that's all. Enter Servant.
Har. You talk as like a grazier as you look, Serd. Sir, here's the strange, odd sort of a gen- Jack-why did you not bring her to town before, tleman come again, and I have shewn him into to be taught something? the fore-parlour.
Moody. Which something I might repent as Spark. That must be Moody! Well said, Will; long as I livean odd sort of a strange gentleman, indeed : we'll Har. But, pr’ythee, why wouldst thou marry step into the next room 'till he comes into this, her, if she be ugly, ill-bred, and silly? She must and then you may have him all to yourself—much be rich, then. good may do you. (SPARKISH, going, returns.] Moody. As rich as if she had the wealth of the Remember that he is married, or he'll suspect Mogul—she'll not ruin her husband, like a Lonme of betraying him.
don baggage, with a million of vices she never (Exeunt SPARKISH and BELVILLE.
hcard of-thèn, because she's ugly, she's the likeHar. Shew him up, Will. (Exit Serv.] Now lier to be my own; and, being ill-bred, she'll hate must I prepare myself to see a very strange, tho' conversation; and, since silly and innocent, will a very natural metamorphosis-a once high-spi- not know the difference between me and you; rited, handsome, well-dress’d, raking prodigal of that is, between a man of thirty, and one of the town, sunk into a surly, suspicious, econo forty. mical, country sloven !
Har. Fifty, to my knowledge-[MOODY turns
off, and grumbles.]—But see how you and I difEnter MOODY.
fer, Jack :-wit, to me, is more necessary than Moody, Mr Harcourt, your humble servant, beauty : I think no young woman ugly that has have you forgot me?
it, and no handsome woman agreeable without Har. What, my old friend, Jack Moody! By it. thy long absence from the town, the grumness of Moody, 'Tis my maxim-he's a fool that mar. thy countenance, and the slovenliness of thy ha ries, but he's a greater that does not marry a bit, I should give thee joy :-you are certainly fool.-I know the town, Mr Harcourt; and my married.
wife shall be virtuous in spite of you, or your neMoody. My long stay in the country will ex phew. cuse my dress; and I have a suit at law that Har. My nephew !-poor sheepish lad-he brings me up town, and puts me out of humour
runs away from every woman he sees-he saw - besides, I must give Sparkish ten thousand your sister Alithea at the opera, and was much pounds to-morrow, to take my sister off my smitten with her-he always toasts her-and hands.
hates the very name of Sparkish. I'll bring him Har. Your sister is very much obliged to you to your house—and you shall see what a formi-being so much older than her, you have taken dable Tarquin he is. upon you the authority of a father, and have en Moodly. I have no curiosity, so give yourself gaged her to a coxcomb,
no trouble. You have heard of a wolf in sheep's Moody. I have, and to oblige her-Nothing but clothing; and I have seen your innocent nephew coxcombs or debauchees are the favourites now kissing his hands at my windows. a-days, and a coxcomb is rather the more inno Har. At your sister, I suppose :- not at her, cent animal of the two.
unless he was tipsy. How can you, Jack, be so Har. She has sense and taste, and cann't like outrageously suspicious! Sparkish has promised him; so you must answer for the
to introduce him to his mistress.
Moody. Sparkish is a fool, and may be,—what half so mischievous, before or since, as I was in I'll take care not to be. I confess my visit to that state of innocence. And so, old friend, you, Mr Harcourt, was partly for old acquaintance make no ceremony with me,I have much busisake, but chiefly to desire your nephew to confine ness, and you have much pleasure, and therehis gallantries to the tavern, and not to send 'em fore, as I hate forms, I will excuse your returne in looks, signs, or tokens, on the other side of ing my visit, or sending your nephew to satisfy the way. I keep no brothel-so, pray, tell your me of his modesty—and so your servant. nephew. (Going.
[Exit. Hur. Nay, pr’ythee, Jack, leave me in better Har. Ha, ha, ha! poor Jack! what a life of humour.- Well, I'll tell him; ha, ha, ha!-poor suspicion does he lead! I pity the poor fellow, Dick, how he'll stare. This will give him a re though he ought, and will suffer, for his folly. putation, and the girls won't laugh at him any Polly !-'tis treason, murder, sacrilege! When longer.—Shall we dine together at the tavern, persons of a certain age will indulge their false, and send for my nephew, to chide him for his ungenerous appetites, at the expence of a young gallantry? Ha, ha, ha !-we shall have fine sport. creature's happiness, dame Nature will revenge
Moody. I am not to be laugh'd out of my herself upon them, for thwarting her most heavensenses, Mr Harcourt: I was once a modest, meek, ly will and pleasure.
(Exit. young gentleman myself, and I never have been
Why dost thou look so fropish? Who has anSCENE I.-A Chamber in Moody's House.
Moody. You're a fool.
[PEGGY goes aside, and cries. Peg. Pray, sister, where are the best fields Ali. Faith, and so she is, for crying for no and woods to walk in, in London?
fault, poor, tender creature ! Ali. A pretty question! Why, sister, Vaux Moody. What, you would have her as impuhall, Ranelagh, and St James's Park, are the most dent as yourself, as arrant a gilflirt, a gadder, a frequented.
magpie, and, to say all, a mere notorious townPeg. Pray, sister, tell me why my Bud looks woman! so grum here in town, and keeps me up close, Ali. Brother, you are my only censurer; and and will not let me go a-walking, nor let me the honour of your family will sooner suffer in
your wife, that is to be, than in me, though I take Ali. O! he's jealous, sister,
the innocent liberty of the town. Peg. Jealous! what's that?
Moody. Hark you, mistress, do not talk so beAli. He's afraid you should love another man. fore my wife:-The innocent liberty of the town!
Peg. How should he be afraid of my loving Ali. Pray, what ill people frequent my lodgings? another man, when he will not let me see any I keep no company with any women of scandabut himself?
lous reputation. Ali. Did he not carry you yesterday to a play? Moody. No, you keep the men of scandalous
Peg. Ah; but we sat amongst ugly people: he reputation company. would not let me come near the gentry, who sat Ali. Would you not have me civil, answer 'em under us, so that I could not see 'em. He told at public places, walk with 'em when they join me me none but naughty women sat there--but I in the Park, Ranelagh, or Vauxhall ? would have ventured, for all that.
Moody. Hold, hold; do not teach my wife Ali. But how did you like the play?
where the men are to be found : I believe she's Peg. Indeed I was weary of the play; but I the worse for your town documents already. I liked hugeously the actors; they are the good- bid you keep her in ignorance, as I do. liest, properest men, sister.
Peg. Indeed, be not angry with her, Bud; she Ali. O, but you must not like the actors, sister. will tell me nothing of the town, though I ask her
Peg. Ay, how should I help it, sister! Pray, a thousand times a-day. sister, when my guardian comes in, will you ask Moody. Then you are very inquisitive to know, leave for me to go a-walking?
I find ? Ali. A-walking; ha, ha, ha! Lord, a country Peg. Not I, indeed, dear: I hate London : our gentlewoman's pleasure is the drudgery of a play-house in the country is worth a thousand of't; foot-post, and she requires as much airing as her —would I were there again! husband's horses. (Aside.) But here comes my Moody. So you shall, I warrant. But were you brother; I'll ask him, though I am sure he'll not not talking of plays and players when I came in? grant it.
You are her encourager in such discourses.
Peg. No, indeed, dear; she chid me just now Enter MOODY.
for liking the player-men. Peg. O, my dear, dear Bud, welcome home! Moody. Nay, if she is so innocent as to own to
me her liking them, there is no hurt in't. (Aside.] Moody. In, baggage, in. Come, my poor rogue, but thou likest none bet
[Thrusts her in, and shuts the door. ter than me?
Peg. Yes, indeed, but I do: the player-men | Enler SPARKISH, HARCOURT, und BelvILLE. are finer folks.
Moody. What! all the libertines of the town Moody. But
brought to my lodging, by this casy coxcomb! Peg. You are my own dear Bud, and I know | Sdeath! I'll not suffer it. you; I hate strangers.
Spark. Here, Belville, do you approve my Moody. Ay, my dear, you must love me only, choice? Dear little rogue, I told you I'd bring and not be like the naughty town-women, who you acquainted with all my friends, the wits. only hate their husbands, and love every man else; Moody. Ay, they shall know her as well as you love plays, visits, fine coaches, fine clothes, fiddles, yourself will, I warrant you. balls, treats, and so lead a wicked town life. Spark. This is one of those, my pretty rogue,
Peg. Nay, if to enjoy all these things be a that are to dance at your wedding to-morrow, town life, London is not so bad a place, dear. and one you must make welcome, for he's modest.
Moody. How! if you love me, you must hate (BELVILLE salutes ALITHEA.] Harcourt makes London.
himself welcome, and has not the same foible, Peg. But, Bud, do the town-women love the though of the same family. player-men too?
Har. You are too obliging, Sparkish. Moody. Ay, I warrant you.
Moody. And so he is indeed--the fop's horns Peg. Ay, I warrant you.
will as naturally sprout upon his brows as mushMoody. Why, you do not, I hope?
rooms upon dunghills. Peg. No, no, Bud; but why have we no player Har. This, Mr Moody, is my nephew you menmen in the country?
tioned to me: I would bring him with me; for a Moody. Ha! Mrs Minx, ask me no more to go sight of him will be sufficient, without poppy or to a play.
mandragora, to restore you to your rest. Peg. Nay, why, love ? I did not care for going; Belo. I am sorry, sir, that any mistake or imprubut when you forbid me, you make me, as 'twere, dence of mine should have given you any uneasidesire it.
ness; it was not so intended, I assure you, sir. Ali. So 'twill be in other things, I warrant. Moody. It may be so, sir, but not the less cri
[Aside. minal for that My wife, sir, must not be smirked Peg. Pray let me go to a play, dear?
and nodded at from tavern windows:-I am a good Moody. Hold your peace; - I won't.
shot, young gentleman, and don't suffer magpies Pey. Why, love?
to come near my cherries. Moody. Why, I'll tell you.
Belo. Was it your wife, sir? Ali. Nay, if he tell her, she'll give him more Moody. What's that to you, sir-suppose
it cause to forbid her that place.
[Aside. was my grandmother? Peg. Pray, why, dear?
Belo. I would not dare to offend her.-Permit Moody. First, you like the actors, and the gal- me to say a word in private to you. lants may
(Exeunt Moody and BELVILLE. Peg. What ! a homely country girl? No, Bud, Spurk. Now old surly is gone, tell me, Harnobody will like me.
court, if thou likest her as well as ever-My dear, Moody. I tell you, yes, they may.
don't look down; I should hate to have a wife of Peg. No, no, you jest- I won't believe you: I mine out of countenance at any thing.
Ali. For shame, Mr Sparkish. Moody. I tell you, then, that one of the most Spark. Tell me, I say, Harcourt, how dost like raking fellows in town, who saw you there, told her thou hast star'd upon her enough to resolve me he was in love with you.
Peg. Indeed! who, who, pray, who was't? Har. So infinitely well, that I could wish I Moody. I've gone too far, and slipt before I had a mistress too, that might differ from her in
How overjoy'd she is ! | Asile. nothing but her love and engagement to you. Peg. Was it any Hampshire gallant, any of our Ali. Sir, Mr Sparkish has often told me that neighbours ? -Promise
you I am beholden to his acquaintance were all wits and railers, and him.
now I find it. Moody. I promise you, you lie; for he would Spurk. No, by the universe, madam, he does but ruin you, as he has done hundreds.
not rally now: you may believe him : I do assure Peg. Ay, but if he loves me, why should he you he is the honestest, worthiest, true-hearted ruin me? answer me to that. Methinks he should gentleman; a man of such perfect honour, he not: I would do him no harm.
would say nothing to a lady he does not mean. Ali. Ha, ha, ha!
Hur. Sir, you are so beyond expectation obliMoodly. 'Tis very well; but I'll keep him from ging, thatdoing you any harm, or me either, ‘But here
Spark. Nay, 'egad, I am sure you do admire comes company: get you in, get you in.
her extremely ; I see it in your eyes—He does Pey. But pray, husband, is he a pretty gentle- admire you, madam; he has told me so a thousand man that loves me?
and a thousand times-Have you not, Harcourt?