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Vain. And I love to have the pleasure of ma- | thoughtful; may be I may discover something in king my peace--I should not esteem a pardon my mask-Worthy sir, a word with you. if too easy won.
[Puts on her mask. Bell. Thou dost not know what thou wouldst Set. Why, if I were known, I might come to be be at; whether thou wouldst have her angry or a great man pleased. Couldst thou be content to marry Ara Lucy. Not to interrupt your meditation minta?
Set. And I should not be the first that has
proVain. Could you be content to go to heav'n? cured his greatness by pimping.
Bell. Hum, not immediately, in my conscience Lucy. Now poverty and the pox light upon thee, not heartily: I'd do a little more good in my ge- for a contemplative pimp. neration first, in order to deserve it.
Set. Ha! what art, who thus maliciously hast Vain. Nor I to marry Araminta, till I merit awakened me from my dream of glory? Speak, her.
thou vile disturberBell. But how the devil dost thou expect to get Lucy. Of thy most vile cogitations—thou poor, her if she never yield?
conceited wretch, how wert thou valuing thyself Vain. That's true; but I would
upon thy master's employment ; for he's the head Bell. Marry her without her consent; thou'rt pimp to Mr Bellmour. 2 riddle beyond woman
Set. Good words, damsel, or I shall-But
how dost thou know my master or me? Enter SETTER.
Lucy. Yes, I know both master and man to Trusty Setter, what tidings ? How goes the pro-beject ?
Set. Tobe men perhaps; nay, faith, like enough; Set. As all lewd projects do, sir, where the de- I often march in the rear of my master, and enter vil prevents our endeavours with success. the breaches which he has made. Bell. A good hearing, Setter.
Lucy. Ay, the breach of faith, which he has Vain. Well, I'll leave you with your engineer. | begun, thou traitor to thy lawful princess !
Set. Why how now? pr’ythee who art? lay by Bell. And hast thou provided necessaries? that worldly face, and produce your natural vizor. Set. All, all, sir; the large sanctified hat, and Lucy. No, sirrah; l'Il keep it on to abuse thee, the like precise band, with a swinging long spiri- and leave thee without hopes of revenge. tual cloak, to cover carnal knavery -not forget Set. Oh ! I begin to smoke ye : thou art some ting the black patch, which Tribulation Spintext forsaken Abigail, we have dallied with heretowears, as I'm informed, upon one eye, as a penal fore, and art come to tickle thy imagination with mourning for the ogling offences of his youth; remembrance of iniquity past. and some say, with that eye he first discovered Lucy. No, thou pitiful flatterer of thy master's the frailty of his wife.
imperfections; thou maukin, made up of the shreds Bell. Well, in this fanatic father's habit will I and parings of his superfluous fopperies. confess Lætitia.
Set. Thou art thy mistress's foul self, compoSel. Rather prepare her for confession, sir, by sed of her sullied iniquities and cloathing. helping her to sin.
Lucy. Hang thee,-beggar's cur!- Thy master Bell. Be at your master's lodging in the even is but a mumper in love, lies canting at the gate, ing-I shall use the robes. [Exit BELL. but never dares presume to enter the house.
Set. I shall, sir- I wonder to which of these Set. Thou art the wicket to thy mistress's gate, two gentlemen I do most properly appertain— to be opened for all comers. In fine, thou art the the one uses me as his attendant; the other (be- high road to thy mistress, as a clap is to the pox. ing the better acquainted with my parts) employs Lucy. Beast, filthy toad, I can hold no longer ! me as a pimp; why that's much the more honour look and tremble.
[Unmasks. able employment-by all means--I follow one as Set. How, Mrs Lucy? my master, but t'other follows me as his con Lucy. I wonder thou hast the impudence to ductor,
look me in the face.
Sct. 'Adsbud, who's in fault, mistress of mine? Enter LUCY.
who flung the first stone ? who undervalued my Lucy. There's the hang-dog his man I had function and who the devil could know you by a power over him in the reign of my mistress; but instinct ? be is too true a valet de chambre not to affect his Lucy. You could know my office by instinct, master's faults; and consequently is revolted and be hanged, which you have slandered most from his allegiance.
abominably. It vexes me not what you said of Set. Undoubtedly-'tis impossible to be a pimp my person, but that my innocent calling should and not a man of parts: that is, without being be exposed and scandalized- I cannot bear it. politic, diligent, secret, wary, and so forth—And
(Cries. to all this, valiant as Hercules that is, pas. Set. Nay faith, Lucy, I'm sorry; I'll own myself sirely valiant and actively obedient. Ah! Setter, to blame, though we were both in fault as to our what a treasure is here lost for want of being offices -Come, I'll make you any reparation. known!
Lucy. Swear. Lucy. Here's some villainy a-foot, he's so Sct. I do swear to the utmost of my power.
Lucy. To be brief then: What is the reason been up too, 'egad there would have been misyour master did not appear to-day according to chief done, that's flat. And yet, I believe, if you the summons I brought him?
had been by, I would as soon have let him have Set. To answer you as briefly--He has a cause had a hundred of my teeth.—'Odsheart, if he to be tried in another court.
should come just now when I'm angry-I'd tell Lucy. Come, tell me in plain terms how for-him-Mum! ward he is with Araminta: Sel. Too forward to be turned back -though
Enter SHARPER and BELLMOUR. he's a little in disgrace at present about a kiss Bell. Thou’rt a lucky rogue - There's your which he forced. You and I can kiss, Lucy, with benefactor; you ought to return him thanks now out all that.
you have received the favour. Lucy. Stand off
-He's a precious jewel. Sharp. Sir Joseph, your note was accepted, and Set. And therefore you'd have him to set in the money paid at sight: I'm come to return my your lady's locket.
thanksLucy. Where is he now?
Sir Jo. They won't be accepted so readily as Set. He'll be in the piazza presently.
the bill, sir. Lucy. Remember to-day's behaviour Let Bell. I doubt the knight repents, Tom:—He me see you with a peniteni face.
looks like the knight of the sorrowful face! Set. What, no token of amity, Lucy? You and Sharp. This is a double generosity-Do me a I don't use to part with dry lips.
kindness, and refuse my thanks—But I hope you Lucy. No, no, avaunt-l'll not be slabbered are not offended that I offered them. and kissed now I'm not in the humour. (Exit. Sir Jo. May be I am, sir; may be I am not, sir;
Set. I'll not quit you so -I'll foilow, and put may be i am both, sir; what then? I hope I may you into the humour.
(Erii after her. be offended, without any offence to you, sır. Enter Sir JOSEPH WITTOL, and BLUFFE.
Shurp. Hey-day! captain, what's the matter?
You can tell. Bluff. And so, out of your unwonted genero Bluff Mr Sharper, the matter is plain—Sir sity
Joseph has found out your trick, and does not Sir Jo. And good-nature, Back ; I am good-na care to be put upon, being a man of honour! tured, and I cann't help it.
Shurp. Trick, sir? Bluff. You have given him a note upon Fon Sir Jo. Ay, trick, sir ; and won't be put upon, dlewite for a hundred pound.
sir, being a man of honour, sir! and so, sirSir Jo. Ay, ay, poor fellow, he ventured fair Snurp Hark'e, Sir Joseph, a word with yefor't.
In consideration of some favours lately received, Bluff. You have disobliged me in it--for II would not have you draw yourself into a premuhave occasion for the money ; and, if you would nire, by trusting to that sign of a man therelook me in the face and live, go, and force him to that pop-gun charged with wind. re-deliver you the note-go-and bring it me Sir Jo. o Lord! O Lord! captain, come justi. hither. I'll stay here for you.
fy yourself I'll give him the lie, if you'll stand Sir Jo. You may stay till the day of judgment to it. then, ly the lord Harry. I know better things Sharp. Nay, then I'll be before hand with you; than to be run through the guts for a hundred take that, oaf!
[Cuffs him. pound-Why, I gave that hundred pound for be Sir Jo. Captain, will you see this? Won't you ing saved, and d’ye think, an there were no dan- pink his soul? ger,
I'll be so ungrateful to take it from the gen Blutt: Hush! 'tis not so convenient now -I tleman again?
shall find a time. Blut. Well, go to him from me- Tell him, I Sharp. What do you mutter about a time, ras. say, he must refund or biibo's the word, and cal —You were the incendiary—There's to put slaughter will ensue—if he refuse, tell him—but you in mind of your time-A memorandum. whisper that—tell him-I'll pink his soul - but
(Kicks him. whisper that softly to him.
Bluff. Oh! this is your time, sir, you had best Sir Jo. So softly, that he shall never hear on't, make use on't. I warrant you - Why, what a devil's the matter, Sharp. 'Egad, and so I will :--There's again Bully, are you mad? Or d'ye think I'm mad ?
(Kicks him. 'Egad! for my part, I don't love to be the mes Bluff: You are obliging, sir; but this is too senger of ill news ; 'tis an ungrateful office-so public a place to thank you in : But in your ear, tell him yourself
you are to be seen again. Bluff. By these hilts, I believe he frightened you Sharp. Ay, you inimitable coward, and to be into this composition :- I believe you gave it him felt —As for example.
(Kicks him. out of fcar, pure paltry fear-contess.
Bell. Ha, ha, ha!' Pr’ythee come away: 'Tis Sir Jo. No, no:-hlang't, I was not afraid nei- scandalous to kick this puppy, without a man were ther---though, I confess, he did in a manner snap cold, and had no other way to get himself a-beat. me up ;-yet I cann't say it was altogether out of
[Exeunt Bell, and SHARP. fear, but partly to prevent mischiet,-for he was Bluff. Very well-very fine-But 'tis no mata devilish choleric fellow : And if my choler had ter Is not this fine, Sir Joseph ?
Sir Jo. Indifferent, 'egad, in my opinion very Silo. Indeed it is very fine I could look upon indifferent-I'd rather go plain all my life, than 'em all day. wear such finery.
Heart. Well, has this prevailed for me, and Bluff. Death and hell! to be affronted thus : will you look upon me? -I'll die before I'll suffer it.
[Draws. Silo. If you could sing and dance so, I should Sir Jo. O Lord ! his anger was not raised be love to look upon you too. fore-Nay, dear captain, don't be in a passion Heart. Why 'twas I sung and danced; I gave now he's gone-Put up, put up, dear Back! 'tis music to the voice, and life to their measuresyour Sir Joseph begs : Come, let me kiss thee: Look you here, Silvia, (Pulling out a purse, and -So, so, put up! put up!
chinking it.] here are songs and dances, poetry Bluff. By heaven! 'tis not to be put up. and music -Hark! how sweetly one guinea Sir Jo. What, bully?
rhymes to another-And how they dance to the Bluff. The affront?
music of their own chink. This buys all the t'other Sir Jo. No, 'egad! no more ʼtis, for that's put - And this thou shalt have ; this, and all that I up already; thy sword I mean.
am worth, for the purchase of thy love-Say, Bluff. Well, Sir Joseph, at thy entreaty
is it mine then? Ha! speak, syren-Oons ! why But were not you, my friend, abused, and cuff'd, do I look on her! Yet I must-Speak, dear anand kick'd
(Putting up his sword. gel, devil, saint, witch! do not rack me in sus. Sir Jo. Ay, ay! so were you too! No matter, pence.
Silo. Nay, don't stare at me so-You make me Bluff. By the immortal thunder of great guns! blush–I cannot look. 'tis false—He sucks not vital air who dares affirm Heart. Oh, manhood, where art thou? What it to this face !
Looks big. am I come to? A woman's toy, at these years ! Sir Jo. To that face I grant you, captain 'Sdeath! a bearded baby for a girl to dandle.No, no, I grant you, Not to that face, by the O dotage, dotage! That ever that noble passion, Lord Harry!
-If you had put on your fighting lust, should ebb to this degree-No reflux of viface before, you had done his business-He durst gorous blood : But milky love supplies the empty as soon have kissed you, as kick'd you to your channels, and prompts me to the softness of a face-But a man can no more help what's done child—A mere infant, and would suck. Can you behind his back, than what's said ----Come, we'll love me, Silvia ?-speak ! think no more of what's past.
Silo. Í dare not speak till I believe you,-and Bluff. I'll call a council of war within, to con.
indeed I'm afraid to believe you yet. sider of my revenge to come.
(Exeunt. Heart. Pox, how her innocence torments and
pleases me! Lying, child, is indeed the art of SCENE changes to Silvia's Lodgings.
love, and men are generally masters in it : But
I'm so newly entered, you cannot distrust me of Enter HEARTWELL and SILVIA. any skill in the treacherous mystery -Now, by
my soul, I cannot lie, though it were to serve a SONG.
friend or gain a mistress. As Amoret and Thyrsis lay
Silo. Must you lie, then, if you say you love Melting the hours in gentle play, Joining faces, mingling kisses,
Heart. No, no, dear ignorance ! thou beauteAnd exchanging harmless blisses,
ous changeling !-I tell thee I do love thee, and He trembling, cried, with cager haste,
tell it for a truth, a naked truth, which I'm O let me feed as well as taste,
ashamed to discover. I die, if I'm not wholly bbest.
Silv. But love, they say, is a tender thing, that
will smooth frowns, and make calm an angry face; The fearful nymph replied—Forbear! will soften a rugged temper, and make ill-humour. I cannot, dare not, must not hear :
ed people good :-You look ready to fright one, Dearest Thyrsis, do not move me,
and talk as if your passion were not love but an. Do not-do not—if you love me.
ger. O let me still the shepherd said ;
Heart. 'Tis both; for I am angry with myself But while she fond resistance made,
when I am pleased with you-And a pox upon The hasty joy, in struggling, fled.
me for loving thee só well-Yet I must on 'Tis
a bearded arrow, and will more easily be thrust Vex'd at the pleasure she had miss'd,
forward than drawn back. She frown's and blush'd, then sigh'd and kiss'd, Silo. Indeed, if I were well assured you loved And seem'd to moan, in sullen cooing,
-but how can I be well assured ? The sad miscarriage of their wooing:
Heart. Take the symptoins; and ask all the But vain, alas! were all her charms,
tyrants of thy sex, if their fools are not known For Thyrsis, deaf to love's alarms,
by this party-coloured livery-I am melancholy, Baffled and senseless, tired in her arms.
when thou art absent; look like an ass, when
thou art present ; wake for you when I should After the song, a Dance of Antics. sleep; and even dream of you when I am awake; VOL. II.
sigb much, drink little, eat less; court solitude; | the world shall believe it: Nay, thou shalt think am grown very entertaining to myself, and (as I so thyself -Only let me not think so. am informed) very troublesome to every body else. Silo. No, I'll die before I'll be your whore If this be not love, it is madness, and then it is as well as I love you. pardonable — Nay, yet a more certain sign than all this, I give thee my money!
Heart. (Aside.) A woman, and ignorant, maj
be honest, when 'tis out obstinacy and contraSilo. Ay, but that is no sign; for, they say, gen- diction- But,'sdeath! it is but a may be, and upon tlemen will give money to any naughty woman to
scurvy terms -Well, farewell then--If I can come to bed to them, Gemini !'I hope you get out of sight I may get the better of myself. don't mean som -for I won't be a whore.
Silo. Weil-good by. (Turns and weeps. Heart. The more is the pity. [Aside. Heart. Ha! Nay come, we'll kiss at parting.
Silv. Nay, if you vould marry me, you should (Kisses her.] By heaven ber kiss is sweeter than not come to bed to me You have such a beard, liberty—I will marry thce-There thou hast and would so prickle one. But do you intend to don't; all my resolve melted in that kissone marry me?
Heart. That a fool should ask such a malici Silo. But when ? ous question ! -'Sdeath, I shall be drawn in be Hearl. I'm impatient till it be done; I will not fore I know where I am --However, I find I am give myself liberty to think, lest I should coolpretty sure of her consent, if I am put to it. I will about a licence straight-In the evening ex.
(Aside. pect me-One kiss more to confirm me mad; so. Marry you! no, no, I'll love you
(Exit. Silo. Nay, but if you love me, you must marry Silv. Ha, ha, ha! an old fox trapp'dme; what, don't I know my father loved my mother, and was married to her!
Enter LUCY. Henrt
. Ay, ay ! in old days people married Bless me ! you frighted me; I thought he had where they loved; but that fashion is changed, been come again, and had heard me. child.
Lucy. Lord, madam, I met your lover in as Silv. Never tell me that; I know it is not chan. much haste as if he had been going for a midged by myself; for I love you, and would marry wife. you.
Silo. He's going for a parson, girl, the fore. Heart
. I'll have my beard shaved, it sha'n't runner of a midwife, some nine months hence, hurt thce, and we'll go to bed
Well, I find dissembling to our sex is as natural Silv. No, no, I'm not such a fool neither, but as swimming to a negro; we may depend upon I can keep myself honest.-Here, I won't keep our skill to save us at a plunge, though till then any thing that's yours; I hate you now, [Throws we never make the experimentthe purse.) and I'll never see you again, 'cause thou succeeded ? you'd have me naughty.
(Gring. Lucy. As you would wish Since there is no Heart. Damn her, let her go! and a good rid- reclaiming Vainlove, I have found out a pique she dance-Yet so much tenderness and beauty has taken at him, and have framed a letter, that and honesty together, is a jewel-Stay, Silvia ! makes her sue for reconciliation first. I know
- But then to marry -Why every man plays that will do-walk in, and I'll shew it you. Come, the fool once in his life: But to marry is playing madam, you're like to have a happy time on't
, the fool all one's life long.
both your love and anger satisfied-All that can Silo. What did you call me for?
charm our sex conspire to please you. Heart. I'll give thee all I have: And thou That woman sure er.joys a blessed night, shalt live with me in every thing so like my wife, Whom love and vengeance do at once delight.
-But how hast
wife just turned the corner, and's coming this SCENE I. - The Strect.
Bcll. 'Gads so, there he is; he must not see Enter BELLMOUR in fanatic Habit, and SETTER.
Bell. 'Tis pretty near the hour. (Looking on his uutch.] Well, and how, Setter, hæ, does my
Enter FONDLEWIFE and BARNABY. lıypocrisy fit me, hæ? Does it sit easy on me? Fond. I say, I will tarry at home. Set. O most religiously well, sir.
Bar. But, sirBell. I wonder why all our young fellows Fond. Good lack! I profess the spirit of con: should glory in an opinion of atheism, when they tradiction hath possessed the lad—I say I will may be so much more conveniently lewd under tarry at home, varlet ! the coverlet of religion.
Bar. I have done, sir; then farewell five hun. Set. 'Sbud, sir, away quickly! there's Fondle- dred pound !
Fond. Ha, how's that? Stay, stay, did you | Tribulation himself-Speak, I say, have you conleave word, say you, with his wife-with Com- sidered what it is to cuckold your husband ? fort herself?
Læt. (Aside.] I'm amazed :-sure he has disco.. Bar. I did; and Comfort will send Tribulation vered nothing-Who has wronged me to my dearhither as soon as ever he comes home- I could est ? I hope my jewel does not think that ever I have brought young Mr Prig to have kept my mis- had any such thing in my head, or ever will have? tress company in the mean time; but you say— Fond. No, no, I tell you I shall have it in my
Fond. How, how, say, varlet ! I say, let him not head-You will have it somewhere else. come near my doors. I say he is a wanton young Lat. (Aside.) I know not what to think. But Levite, and painpereth himself up with dainties, I'm resolved to find the meaning of it --Unkind that he may look lovely in the eyes of women dear! was it for this you sent to call me? Is it Sincerely I am afraid he hath already defiled the not affliction enough that you are to leave me, tabernacle of our sister Comfort; while her good but you must study to increase it by unjust sushusband is deluded by his godly appearance picions ? (Crying.1 Well-well-you know my I say, that even lust doth sparkle in his eyes and fondness, and you love to tyrannizeglow upon his cheeks, and that I would as soon cruel man! dotriumph over my poor heart trust my wife with a lord's high-fed chaplain. while it holds, which cannot be long, with this
Bar. 'Sir, the hour draws nigh, and nothing will usage of yours-But that's what you want be done there till you come.
Well-you will have your ends soon--you willFond. And nothing can be done here till I go you will-Yes, it will break to oblige you. (Sighs. -So that I'll tarry, d’ye see.
Fond. Verily, I fear, I have carried the jest too Bar. And run the hazard to lose your affair so? far -Nay, look you now if she does not weep
Fond. Good lack, good lack !- I profess it is a -'tis the fondest fool --Nay, Cocky, Cocky! very sufficient vexation for a man to have a hand- nay, dear Cocky! don't cry, I was but in jest, I some wife.
Bar. Never, sir, but when the man is an insuf. Lat. (Aside.] Oh! then all's safe. I was terficient husband. 'Tis then, indeed, like the va- ribly frighted— My affliction is always your jest, nity of taking a fine house, and yet be forced to barbarous man! Oh, that I should love to this let lodgings, to help to pay the rent.
degree! yet Fond. I profess a very apt comparison, varlet. Fond. Nay, Cocky! Go in, and bid my cocky come out to me; I will Læt. No, no, you are weary of me, that's it give her some instructions, I will reason with her that's all, you would get another wife-another before I go; (Erit BARNABY.] and, in the mean fond fool, to break her heart--Well, be as cruel time, I will reason with myself-Tell me, Isaac, as you can to me, I'll pray for you; and when I why art thee jealous ? Why art thee distrustful am dead with grief, may you have one that will of the wife of thy bosom ?-Because she is young love you as well as I have done: I shall be conand vigorous, and I am old and impotent-Then tented to lie in peace in my cold grave, since it why didst thee marry, Isaac ?-Because she was
will please you.
(Sighs. beautiful and tempting, and because I was obsti Fond. Good lack, good lack! she would melt a nate and doting ; so that my inclination was, and heart of oak- I profess I can hold no longer is still, greater than my power--And will not Nay, dear Cocky-Ifeck you'll break my heart that which tempted thee also tempt others, who ifeck you will-See, you have made me weep will tempt her, Isaac ?-I fear it much-But does made poor Nykin weep-Nay, come kiss, buss not thy wife love thee, nay, dote upon thee?- poor Nykin-and I won't leave thee~I'll lose Yes-Why then,--Ay, but to say truth, she's all first. fonder of me than she has reason to be; and, in Lel. (Aside.] How! Heaven forbid! that will the way of trade, we still suspect the smoothest be carrying the jest too far indeed. dealers of the deepest designs; and that she has Fond. Won't you kiss Nykin? some designs deeper than thou canst reach, thou Lat. Go, naughty Nykin, you don't love me. hast experimented, Isaac --But mum!
Fond. Kiss, kiss; ifeck I do.
(She kisses him. Enter LÆTITIA.
Fond. What, not love Cocky? Let. I hope my dearest jewel is not going to
(Sighs. leave me~Are you, Nykin?
Fond. I profess I love thee better than five Fond. Wife!-have you thoroughly consider- hundred pound; and so thou shalt say, for I'll ed how detestable, how heinous, and how crying leave it to stay with thee. a sin, the sin of adultery is? Have you weighed Læt. No, you sha'n't neglect your business for it, I say? For it is a very weighty sin ; and altho' me-No, indeed, you sha’n’t, Nykin-If you don't it may lie heavy upon thee, yet thy husband must go, I'll think you been dealous of me stili, also bear his part; for thy iniquity will fall upon Fond. He, he, he! wilt thou, poor fool? Then his head.
I will go, I won't be dealous -Poor Cocky, kiss Let. Bless me, what means my dear! Nykin, kiss Nykin, ee, ee, ee ! -Here wiil be
Fond. (Aside.) I profess she has an alluring eye; the good man anon, to talk to Cocky, and teach I'm doubtful whether I shall trust her, even with her how a wife ought to belave herself,