Page images

will come,


far change your lodgings, but


and Sir Fran. How soa, sir ? be at home here sometimes ?

Man. Nay, 'tis for your own sakc: I'm not Sir Fran. Ay, ay! pr’ythee come and take a concerned. bit of mutton with us, naw and tan, when thou'st Sir Fran. Look you, cousin! tho'f I know nowght to do.

you wish me well, yet I don't question I shall C. Bus. Well, Sir Francis, you shall find I'll give you such weighty reasons for what I have make but very little ceremony.

done, that you will say, sir, this is the wisest Sir Fran. Why ay naw, that's hearty! journey that ever I made in


life. Moth. Will your ladyship please to refresh Mun. I think it ought to be, cousin ; for, I beyourself with a dish of tea after your fatigue? Ilieve, you will find it the most expensive onethink I have pretty good.

your election did not cost you a trifle, I suppose. L. Wrong. If you please, Mrs Motherly; but Sir Fran. Why ay ! it's true! That-that did I believe we had best have it above stairs. lick a little: but if a man's wise, (and I ha'n't

Aloth. Very well, maclam : it shall be ready fawnd yet that I'm a fool) there are ways, couimmediately.

(Exit Mrs MOTHERLY. sin, to lick one's self whole again. L. Wrong. Won't you walk up, sir ?

Man. Nay, if you have that secretSir Frun. Moody!

Sir Fran. Don't you be fearful, cousin--C. Bus. Sha’n’t we stay for Sir Francis, ma- you'll find that I know something. dam?

Man. If it be any thing for your good, I should L. Wrong. Lard ! don't mind him ! he will be glad to know it too. come if he likes it.

Sir Fran. In short then, I have a friend in 3 Sir Fran Ay, ay! ne'er heed me I ha' corner, that has let me a little into what's what, things to look after.

at Westminster-that's one thing. (Exeunt Lady WRONG. und Count Bas. Mun. Very well! but what good is that to do Enter Joux Moody.

Sir Fran. Why not me, as much as it does J. Mood. Did your worship want muh? other folks?

Sir Fran. Ay, is the coach cleared, and all Msan. Other people, I doubt, have the advanour things in ?

tage of different qualifications, J. Mood. Aw but a few band-box s, and the Sir Fran. Why ay! there's it naw! you'll nook that's left o'th' goose poy-But, a plague say that I have lived all my days i'the country, on him, the monkey has gin us the slip, I think what then—I'm o' the quorum-I have been at I suppose


goon to see his relations; for here sessions, and I have made speeches there ! ay, looks to be a power of 'um in this tawn--but and at vestry too-and maylap they may find heavy Ralph is skawer'd after him.

here-that I have brought my tonguo up to town Sir Fran. Why, let him go to the devil ! no with me! D’ye take nie naw? matter and the hawnds had had him a month Mun. If I take your case right, cousin, I am agoe—but I wish the coach and horses were got | afraid the first occasion you will have for your safe to th' inn! This is a sharp tawn, we mun eloquence here, will be, to shew that you have look about us here, John, therefore I would have any right to make use of it at all. you go alung with Roger, and see that nobody Sir Fran. How d’ye mean? runs away with them before they get to the stable. Man. That Sir John Worthland has lodged a

J. Mood. Alas-a-day, sir! I believe our awld petition against you. cattle woant yeasily be run away with to-night- Sir Frun. Petition ! why ay ! there let it liebut howsomdever, we's take the best care we we'll find a way to deal with that, I warrant you! can of um, poor sawls.

- Why, you forget, cousin, Sir John's o'the wrung Sir Fran. Well, well! make haste then- side, mon !

(Moody goes out, and returns. Man. I doubt, Sir Francis, that will do you J. Mood. Ods flesh! here's Master Manly but little service; for, in cases very notorious come to wait upo' your worship!

(which I take yours to be) there is such a thing Sir Fran. Where is he?

as a short day, and dispatching them immediately. J. Blood. Just coming in at threshould.

Sir Fran. With all my heart! the sooner I Sir Fran. Then goa about your business. send him home again the better,

(Exit Moody. Man. And this is the scheme you have laid

down to repair your fozcune ? Enter MANLY.

Sir Fran. In ore word, cousin, I think it my Cousin Monly! Sir, I am your very humble ser- duty! the Wrongheads have been a considerable vant.

family, ever since England was England; and Man. I heard you were come, Sir Francis- since the world knows I have talents whereand

withal, they sha’n't say it's my fault, if I don't Sir Fran. Odsheart! this was sa kindly done make as good a figure as any that ever were at of you naw.

the head on't. Man. I wish you may think it so, cousin ! for Man. Nay! this project, as you have laid it, I confess, I should have been better pleased to will come up to any thing your ancestors have have seen you in any other place.

done these five hundred years,

Sir Fran. And let me alone to work it! May- the time of York races she would never be with. hap I hav'n't told you all neither

out him. Mun. You astonish me! what! and is it full Man. That was happy indeed! and a prudent as practicable as what you have told me? man, you know, should always take care that his

Sir Fran. Ay, tho'f I say it-every whit, cou- wite may have innocent company: sin! You'll find that I have more irons i'the fire Sir Frun. Why ay! that's it! and I think than one! I doan't conie of a fool's errand ! there could not be such another! Mun. Very well.

Man. Why truly, for her purpose, I think not. Sir Fran. In a word, my wife has got a friend Sir Frun. Only naw and tan he-he stonds a at court, as well as myself, and her dowghter leetle too much upon ceremony; that's his fault. Jenny is now pretty well grown up

Min. O never fear! he'll mend that every Mun. (isive.] - And what in the devil's name day- -Mercy on us! what a head he has ! would he do with the dowdy?

Sir Fran. So! here they come! Sir Fran. Naw, if I doan't lay in for a husband for her, mayhap, i' this tawn, she may be

Enter Lady WRONGIIEAD, Count BASSET, and looking out for herself

Mrs MOTHERLY. Man. Not unlikely.

L. Wrong. Cousin Manly, this is infinitely Sir Fran. Therefore, I have some thoughts of obliging ! I am extremely glad to see you. getting her to be maid of honour.

Nlan. Your most obedient servant, madam ; I Nun. (Aside.] Oh! he bas taken my breath am glad to see your ladyship look so well after away! but I must hear him out-Pray, Sir Fran- your journey. cis, do you think her education has yet qualified L. Wrony. Why really, coming to London is her for a court ?

apt to put a little more life in one's looks. Sir Fran. Why, the girl is a little too mettle- Man. Yet the way of living here is very apt some, it's true; but she has tongue enough: She to deaden the complexion--and, give me leave woan't be dasht! Then she shall learn to daunce to tell you, as a friend, madam, you are come to forthwith, and that will soon teach her how to the worst place in the world for a good woman stond still, you know.

to grow better in, Man. Very well; but when she is thus accom- L. Wrong. Lord, cousin, how should people plished, you must still wait for a vacancy. ever make any figure in life, that are always Sir Fran. Why I hope one has a good chance moped up in the

country? for that every day, cousin ! For, if I take it right, C. Bas. Your ladyship certainly takes the that's a post that folks are not more willing to thing in a quite right light, madam: Mr Manly, get into, than they are to get out of- It's like an your humble servant-a hem. orange-tree, upon that accawnt-it will bear bios. Man. Familiar puppy! (Aside.) Sir, your most soms, and fruit that's ready to drop, at the same obedient-I must be civil to the rascal, to cover time.

my suspicion of him.

(Aside. Man. Well, sir, you best know how to make C. Bus. Was you at White's this morning, sir? good your pretensions. But pray where is my Man. Yes, sir, I just call'd in. lady and my young cousins? I should be glad to C. Bus. Pray-what-was there anything done see them too.

there? Sir Fran. She is but just taking a dish of tea Man. Much as usual, sir; the same daily carwith the count and my landlady—I'll call her cases, and the same crows about them. dawn.

C. Bus. The demoivre-baronet had a bloody Man. No, no, if she's engaged, I shall call tumble yesterday. again.

Man. I hope, sir, you had your share of him. Sir Frun. Ods heart! but you mun see her C. Bas. No, faith! I came in when it was all naw, cousin ; what! the best friend I have in the over--I think I just made a couple of bets with world !-Here! sweetheart! (To a Servant him, took up a cool hundred, and so went to the without.] pr’ythee desire my lady and the gen. King's Arms. tleman to come down a bit ; tell her here's cousin L. Wrong. What a genteel, easy manner he Manly come to wait upon her.

has !

(Aside. Man. Pray, sir, who may the gentleman be? Mun. A very hopeful acquaintance I have made Sir Fran. You mun know him, to be sure; why here.

[Aside. it's Count Basset. Mun. Oh! is it he ?-Your family will be in.

Enter Squire RICHARD, with a wet brown paper finitely happy in his acquaintance.

on his face. Sir Frun. Troth, I think so too: He's the ci- Sir Fran. How naw, Dick ? what's the matter vilest man that ever I knew in my life--Why! with thy forehead, lad? here he would go out of his own lodgings, at an Sq. Rich. I ha' gotten a knock upon't. hour's warning, purely to oblige my family. L. Wrong. And how did you come by it, you Wasn't that kind naw?

heerless creature? Man. Extremely civil—the family is in admi. Sq. Rich. Why, I was but running after sister, rable hands already!

and t’other young woman, into a little room just Sir Fran. Then my lady likes him hugely-all naw; and so with that, they flapt the door full

-\Vhere are yon

it to.

in my feace, and gave me such a whurr here—I L. Wrong. Ha! what paper's this? Some bilthought they had beaten my brains out! so I gut let-doux l'll lay my life, but this is no place to a dab of wet brown paper here to swage it a examine it.

[Puts it in her pocket. while.

Sir Fran. Why in such haste, cousin ?' L. Wrong. They served you right enough! Mun O! my lady must bave a great many Will you never have done with your horse-play ? affairs upon her hands after such a journey.

Sir Fran. Pooh! never heed it, lad ! it will L. Wrong. I believe, sir, I shall not have much be well by to-morrow—the boy has a strong less every day, while I stay in this town, of one head!

sort or other Jian. Yes, truly, his skull seems to be of a Mun. Why truly, ladies seldom want employcomfortable thickness.

(Aside. ment here, madam. Sir Fran. Come, Dick, here's cousin Manly Jen. And mamma did not come to it to be idle, -sir, this is your god-son.

sir. L. Wrong: Oh! here's my daughter too: Man. Nor you neither, I dare say, my young

mistress. Enter Miss Jenny.

Jen. I hope not, sir. Sq: Rich. Honoured gudfether ! I crave leave Man. Ha! Miss Mettle !to ask your blessing.

going, sir? Man. Thou hast it, child-and, if it will do Sir Fran. Only to see you to the door, sir. thee any good, may it be to make thee, at least, Man. Oh! Sir Francis, I love to come and go, as wise a man as thy father:

without ceremony. L. Wrong. Miss Jenny! don't you see your Sir Fran. Nay, sir, I must do as you will have cousin, child?

me-Your humble servant. (Exit MANLY. Man. And as for thee, my pretty dear-(Sa- Jen. This cousin Manly, papa, seems to be lutes her.) may’st thou be, at least, as good a wo- but of an odd sort of a crusty bumour—I don't man as thy mother.

like him half so well as the count. Jen. I wish I may ever be so handsome, sir. Sir Frun. Pooh! that's another thing, child.

Mun. Hah! Miss Pert! Now that's a thought Cousin is a little proud indeed; but, however, that seems to have been hatcht in the girl on this you must always be civil to him, for he has a deal side Highgate.

(Aside. of money, and nobody knows who he may give Sir Fran. Her tongue is a little nimble, sir.

L. Wrong. That's only from her country edu- L. Wrong. Pshaw! a fig for his money! you cation, Sir Francis. You know she has been have so many projects of late about money, since kept too long there so I brought her to Lon- you are a parliament man: What! we must make don, sir, to learn a little more reserve and mo- ourselves slaves to his impertinent humours, desty.

eight or ten years perhaps, in hopes to be his Man. O, the best place in the world for it, heirs, and then he will be just old cnough to every woman she meets will teach her something marry his maid. of it-There's the good gentlewoman of the Moth. Nay, for that matter, madam, the town house looks like a knowing person; even she says he is going to be married already. perhaps will be so good as to shew her a little Sir Fran. Who? Cousin Manly? London behaviour.

L. Wrong. To whon, pray? Moth. Alas, sir, miss won't stand long in need Moth. Why, is it possible your ladyship should of my instruction.

know nothing of it to my Lord Townly's sisMan. That I dare say: What thou can'st teach ter, Lady Grace. her, she will soon be mistress of. (Aside. L. Wrong. Lady Grace?

Moth. If she does, sir, they shall always be at Moth. Dear madam, it has been in the newsber service.

papers ! L. Wrong. Very obliging indeed, Mrs Moth- L. Wrong. I don't like that neither. erly.

Sir Fran. Naw, I do; for then it's likely it Sir Fran. Very kind and civil, truly—I think mayn't be true. we are got into a mighty good hawse here. L. Wrong. (Aside.] If it is not too far gone,

Man. O yes, and very friendly company, at least it may be worth one's while to throw a

C. Bas. Humh! 'Egad I don't like his looks rub in his way. -he seems a little smoky—I believe I had as Sy. Rich. Pray, feyther, haw lung will it be to good brush off-If I stay, I don't know but he supper? may ask me some odd questions.

Sir Fran. Odso! that's true! step to the Man. Well, sir, I believe you and I do but cook, lad, and ask what she can get us. hinder the family

Moth. If you please, sir, I'll order one of my C. Bas. It's very true, sir – I was just thinking maids to shew her where she may have any thing of going-He don't care to leave me, I see: But you have a mind to. it's no matter, we have time enough. [Aside.] Sir Fran. Thank you kindly, Mrs Motherly. And so, ladies, without ceremony, your humble Sg. Rich. Ods-flesh! what, is not it i'the bawse servant. (Exit Count BASSET, and drops a letter. | yet?-I shall be famished—but howld! I'll go

and ask Doll, an there's none o'the goose poy Sq. Rich. So I will! and I'll drink


for lett.

all her!

(Drinks. Sir Fran. Do so; and, do'st hear, Dick---sce if there's e'er a bottle o'th' strong beer that came

Enter John Moody. i'th' coach with us—if there be, clap a toast in Sir Fran. So, John ! how are the horses? it, and bring it up.

J. Mood. Troth, sir, I ha' noa good opinion o' Si. Rich. With a little nutmeg and sugar, this tawn; it's made up o' mischief, I think! shawn't I, seyther?

Sir Fran. What's the matter naw? Sir Frun. Ay! ay! as thee and I always drink J. Mood. Why I'll tell your worship-before it for breakfast-Go thy ways--and I'll fill a we were gotton to th' street end with the coach pipe i'th' mean while. (Tukis one from a pockets | here, a great luggerheaded cart, with wheels as cuse, and fills it.

(Erit Sq. Rich. thick as a brick wall, laid hawld on't, and has L. Wrong. This boy is always thinking of his poo'd it aw to bits : Crack went the perch! belly!

Down goes the coach! and whang! says the Sir Iran. Why, my dear, you may allow him glasses, all to shivers ! Marcy upon us ! and this to be a little hungry after his journey.

be London, would we were aw weell in the L. Wrong. Nay, e'cn breed him your own country ageen! way-hc has been cramming in or out of the coach Jen. What have you to do to wish us all in all this day I am sure-I wish my poor girl could the country again, Mr Lubber? I hope we shall eat a quarter as much.

not go into the country again these seven years, Jen. O, as for that, I could eat a great deal more, mamma; let twenty coaches be pull’d to pieces

. mamma, but then, mayhap, I should grow coarse, Sir Frun. Hold your tongue, Jenny !-Was like him, and spoil my shape.

Roger in no fault in all this? L. Ilrong. Ay, so thou would'st, my dear. J. Mood. Noa, sir, nor 1, noather--Are not

you asheam’d, says Roger to the carter, to do Enter Squire RICHARD with a full tun kurd.

such an unkind thing by strangers ? Noa, says Sg. Rich. Here, feyther, I ha' brought it- he, you bumkin. Sir, he did the thing on very it's well I went as I did; for our Doll had just purpose! and so the folks said that stood bybaked a toast, and was going to drink it herself. Very well, says Roger, yow shall see what our Sir Frun. Why then, here's to thee, Dick! meyster will say to ye! Your meyster ? says he ;

[Drinks. your meyster may kiss my—and so he clapt his Sq. Rich. Thank you, feyther.

hand just there, and like your worship. Flesh! L. Wrong. Lord, Sir Francis! I wonder you I thought they had better breeding in this tawil. can encourage the boy to swill so much of that Sir Fran. I'll teach this rascal some, I'll warlubberly liquor—it's enough to make him quite rant him! Odsbud! if I take himn in hand, I'll stupid.

play the devil with him. Sq. Rich. Why it never hurts me, mother; and $q. Rich. Ay do, feyther; have him before I sleep like a hawnd after it.

[Drinks. the parliament. Sir Fran. I am sure I ba' drunk it these thirty Sir Fran. Odsbud! and so I will--I will years, and, by your leave, madam, I don't know make him know wbo I am! Where does hc that I want wit: Ha! ha!

live! Jen. But you might have had a great deal more, J. Jlood. I believe, in London, sir. papa, if you would have been governed by my Sir Pran. What's the rascal's name? inother.

J. Mood. I think I heard somebody call him Sir Fran. Daughter! he that is governed by Dick. his wife has no wit at all.

Sq. Rich. What, my name? Jen. Then I hope I shall marry a fool, sir : Sir Fran. Where did he go? for I love to govern dearly.

J. Mood. Sir, he went home. Sir Frun. You are too pert, child; it don't Sir Fran. Where's that? do well in a young woman.

J. Mlood. By my troth, sir, I doan't know ! I L. Wrong. Pray, Sir Francis, don't snub her; heard him say he would cross the same street she has a fine growing spirit, and if you check again to-morrow; and if we had a mind to stand her so, you will make her as dull as her brother in his way, he wou'd pool us over and over again. here.

Sir Fran. Will he so? Odszooks! get me a Sq. Rich. lfter a long draught.) Indeed, constable. mother, I tlink my sister is too forward.

L. Wrong. Pooh! get you a good supper: Jen. You! you think I'm too forward! sure, Come, Sir Francis, don't put yourself in a heat brother Mud, your head's too heavy to think for what cann't be helpt. Accidents will happen of any thing but your belly.

to people that travel abroad to see the world L.'l'rony. Well said, miss; he's none of your For my part, I think it's a mercy it was not over. master, though he is your elder brother.

turn'd before we were all out on't. Sq. Rich. No, nor she sbawn't be my mis- Sir Fran. Why ay, that's true again, my dear. tress, while she's younger sister !

L. Wrong. Therefore see to-morrow if we Sir Fran. Weil said, Dick! shew 'em that can buy one at second-hand, for present ilse : 50 stawt liquor makes a stant hicart, lad !

bespeak a new one, and then all's easy.

J. Mood. Why troth, sir, I doan't think this step to Hardy, and bid her get me some fresla could have held you above a day longer.


(Erit Lady WRONG. Sir Fran. D'ye think so, John?

Jen. Yes, mamma, and some for myself too. J. Mood. Why you ha' had it ever since your

[Erit JENNY. worship were high sheriff.

Sq. Rich. Odsflesh! and what mun I do all Sir Fran. Why then go and see what Doll has alone? got us for supper--and come and get off my boots. I'll c'on seek out where t'other pratty miss is,

(Exit Sir Fran. And she and I'll go play at cards for kisses. L. Wrong. In the mean time, miss, do you



Ld Town. Did you think his rules unrcason. SCENE I.- The Lord TownLy's House. able ?

L. Gruce. I cann't say I did : But he might Enter Lord TownLY, a Servant ultending.

have had a little more complaisance before me, Ld Town. Who's there?

at least. Serv. My Lord.

Ld Town. Complaisance is only a proof of Ld Town. Bid them get dinner-Lady Grace, good breeding : But his plainness was a certain your servant.

proof of his honesty; nay, of his good opinion of Enter Lady GRACE.

you: For he would never have open’d himself

so freely, but in confidence that your good sense L. Grace. What, is the house up already ? could not be disobliged at it. My lady is not drest yet!

L. Grace. My good opinion of him, brother, Ld Town. No matter—it's three o'clock—she has hitherto been guided by yours : But I have may break my rest, but she shall not alter my received a letter this morning that shews him a hours.

very different man from what I thought him. L. Gruce. Nay, you need not fear that now, Ld Town. A letter from whom? for she dines abroad.

L. Gruce. That I don't know, but there it is. Ld Town. That, I suppose, is only an excuse

(Gives a letter, for her not being ready yet.

Ld. Town. Pray let's see.

(Reads. L. Grace. No, upon my word, she is engaged “The inclosed, madam, fell accidentally into my to company

hands ; if it no way concerns you, you will only Ld Town. Where, pray?

have the trouble of reading this, from your sinL. Grace. At my Lady Revel's ; and you cere friend and bumble servant, Unknown,” &c. know they never dine till supper-time.

L. Grace. And this was the inclosed. Li Town. No truly—she is one of those

[Giving another. orderly ladies, who never let the sun shine upon Ld Town. [Roads.) To Charles Manly, Esq. any of their vices !

-But pr’ythee, sister, what “ Your manner of living with me of late, convinhumour is she in to-day?

ces me, that I now grdw as painful to you as to L. Grace. 0! in tip-top spirits, I can assure myself: but, however, though you can love me you-she won a good deal last night.

.no longer, I hope you will not let me livo worse Ld Town. I know no difference between her than I did before I left an honest income, for the winning or losing, while she continues her course vain hopes of being ever yours. of life.

MYRTILLA Dupe." L. Grace. However, she is better in good hu- “ P. S. 'Tis above four months since I received mour than bad.

a shilling from you." Ld Town. Much alike: When she is in good L. Grace. What think


now? humour, other people only are the better for it: Ld Town. I am consideringWhen in a very ill humour, then, indeed, I sel- L. Gruce. You see it's directed to him. dom fail to have my share of her.

Ld Town. That's true! but the postscript seems L. Grace. Well, we won't talk of that now to be a reproach, that I think he is not capable -Does any body dine here?

of deserving Ld Town. Manly promised me

-By the way,

L. Grace. But who could have concern enough madam, what do you think of his last convers a to send it to me? tion?

Ld Town. I have observed that these sort of L. Gruce. -I am a little at a stand about it. letters from unknown friends generally come Ld Town, How so?

from secret enemies. L. Grace. Why--I don't know how he can L. Grace. What would you have me do in ever have any thoughts of me, that could lay it? down such severe rules upon wives in my hear- Li Town. What I think you ought to do ing

fairly shew it him, and say I advised you to it.

« PreviousContinue »