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but poor Clody's ill fortune I could never have to reflect upon my follies past; and, by reflecsuspected.
tion, to reform. D. Lew. Why, you would be positive, though Élo. This is indeed a happy change. you know, brother, I always told you, Dismal Gov. Release the gentleman. would be hanged; I must plague him a little, Clo. Here, Testy, pr’ythee do so much as untie because the dog has been pert with me -Clo- this a little. dy, how dost thou do? Ha! why you are tied ! D. Lew. Why, so I will, sirrah; I find thou Clo. I hate this old fellow, split me!
hast done a mettled thing; and I don't know D. Lew. Thou hast really made a damned whether it is worth my while to be shocked at blunder here, child, to invite so many people to thee any longer. a marriage-knot, and, instead of that, it is like to Elo. I ask your pardon for the wrong I have be one under the left ear.
done you, sir; and blush to think how much I Clo. I'd fain have him die.
for a brother thus restored. D. Lew. Well, my dear, I'll provide for thy Clo. Madam, your very humble servant; it is going off, however; let me see-you'll only have mighty well as it is. occasion for a nosegay, a pair of white gloves, D. Du. We are indeed his debtors both; and a coffin: look you, take you no care about and, sister, there's but one way now of being the surgeons, you shall not be anatomized—I'll grateful. For my sake, give him such returns of get the body off with a wet finger-Though, me- love as he may yet think fit to ask, or you, with thinks, I'd fain see the inside of the puppy, too. modesty, can answer. Clo. Oh, rot him! I cann't bear this.
Clo. Sir, I thank you; and when you don't D. Lew. Well, I won't trouble you any more think it impudence in me to wish myself well now,
child; if I am not engaged, I don't know with your sister, I shall beg leave to make use of but I may come to the tree, and sing a stave or your friendship. two with thee-Nay, I'll rise on purpose
D. Du. This modesty commends you, sir. though you will hardly suffer before twelve Ant. Sir, you have proposed like a man of o'clock, neither-ay, just about twelve—about honour; and if the lady can but like it, she shall twelve you'll be turned off.
find those among us, that will make up a forClo. Oh, curse consume him!
tune to deserve her. Goo. I am convinced, madam ; the fact ap- Cur. I wish my brother well; and as I once pears too plain.
offered him to divide my birth-right, I'm ready D. Lew. Yes, yes, he'll suffer.
still to put my words into performance. Goo. What says the gentleman ? Do you con- D. Lew. Nay, then, site I find the rogue's fess the fact, sir?
no longer like to be an enemy to Charles, as far Clo. Will it do any good, my lord ?
as a few acres go, I'll be his friend too. Goo. Perhaps it may, if you can prove it was D. Du. Sister! not done in malice.
Elo. This is no trifle, brother; allow me a Clo. Why, then, to confess the truth, my lord, convenient time to think, and if the gentleman I did pink him, and am sorry for it; but it was continues to deserve your friendship, he shall none of my fault, split me.
not much complain I am his enemy. Elo. Now, my lord, your justice.
D. Lew. So, now it will be a wedding again, D. Du. Hold, madam, that remains in me to faith! give; for know, your brother lives, and happy Car. Come, my Angelina, in the proof of such a sister's virtue.
Our bark, at length, has found a quiet harbour,
(Discovers himself. And the distressful voyage of our loves Elo. My brother ! Oh, let my wonder speak Ends not alone in safety, but reward,
Now we unlade our freight of happiness, Clo. Hey!
Of which, from thee alone my share's derived; [CLODIO and his friends seem surprised. For all my former search in deep philosophy, Goc. Don Duart ! living and well ! How came Not knowing thee, was a mere dream of life: this strange recovery?
But love, in one soft moment, taught me more D. Dů. My body's health the surgeon has Than all the volumes of the learned could reach restored: but here's the true physician of my Gave me the proof, when nature's birth began, mind; the hot, distempered blood, which lately To what great end the Eternal formed a man. rendered me offensive to mankind, his just re
Ereunt. senting sword let forth, which gave me leisure
An epilogue's a tax on authors laid,
(You thought five guineas far beyond her due.) And full as much unwillingly is paid.
But when pursued by some gay, leading lover, Good lines, I grant, are little worth; but yet Then every day her eyes new charms discover; Coin has been always easier raised than wit. Till at the last, by crowds of beaus admired, (I fear we'd made but very poor campaigns, She has raised her price to what her heart deHad funds been levied from the grumbling brains.) sired, Beside, to what poor purpose should we plead, New gowns and petticoats, which her airs re When you have once resolved a play shall bleed?
quired. But then again, a wretch, in any case,
So, miss, and poet too, when once cried up, Has leave to say why sentence should not pass. Believe their reputation at the top: First, let your censure from pure judgment flow, And know, that while the liking fit has seiz'd you, And mix with that some grains of mercy too ; She cannot look, he write, too ill to please you On some your praise like wanton lovers you be How can you bear a sense of love so gross, stow.
To let mere fashion on your taste impose? Thus have you known a woman plainly fair, Your taste refined, might add to your delight: At first scarce worth your two days pains or care; Poets from you are taught to raise their flight; Without a charm, but being young and new, For as you learn to judge, they learn to write.
SHE WOU'D AND SHE WOU'D NOT.
CRITICS ! though plays without your smiles sub
sist, Yet this was writ to reach your generous taste, And not in stern contempt of any other guest. Our humble author thinks a play should be, Though tied to rules, like a good sermon, free From pride, and stoop to each capacity: Though he dares not, like some, depend alone Upon a single character new shewn; Or only things well said, to draw the town. Such plays, like looser beauties, may have power To please, and sport away a wanton hour; But wit and humour, with a just design, Charm, as when beauty, sense, and virtue join. Such was his just attempt, though, 'tis confest, He's only vain enough thave done bis best ; For rules are but the posts that mark the course, Which way the rider should direct his horse ; He that mistakes his ground is easily beat, Though he that runs it true mayn't do the feat ; For 'tis the straining genius that must win the
heat. O'er chokejade to the ditch a jade may lead, But the true proof of Pegasus's breed, Is when the last act turns the lands with Dimple's
speed. View then, in short, the method that he takes : His plot and persons he from nature makes, Who for no bribe of jest he willingly forsakes:
His wit, if any, mingles with his plot,
From his design no person can be spared,
play. But now he flies for refuge to the fair, Whom he must own the ablest judges here. Since all the springs of his design but move From beauty's cruelty subdued by love, E'en they, whose hearts are yet untouched, must
know, In the same case, sure, what their own wou'd do: You best should judge of love, since love is born
WOMEN. Don MANUEL, Father to Rosara.
HYPOLITA, secretly in love with Don Philip. Don Philip, slighted by Hypolita.
Rosara, in love with Octavio. Don Louis, Nephew to Don Manuel.
FLORA, Confidunte to Hypolita.
VILETTA, Woman to Rosara.
Host, Alguazil, and Servants.
he's coming post to Madrid to marry another SCENE I.-An Inn in Madrid.
woman ; nay, one he never saw.
Hyp. An unknown face cannot have very Enter TRAPPANTI, alone, tulking to himself.
engaged him. Indeed, my friend Trappanti, thou’rt in a very Flo. How came he to be engaged to her at all? thin condition ; thou hast neither master, meat, Hyp. Why, I engaged him. nor money: not but, couldst thou part with that Flo. To another ! unappeaseable itch of eating, too, thou hast all Hyp. To my whole sex, rather than own I loved the ragged virtues that were requisite to set up an bim. ancient philosopher: contempt and poverty, kicks, Flo. Ah, done like a woman of courage! thumps, and thinking, thou hast endured with the Hyp. I could not bear the thought of parting best of them; but-when fortune turns thee up with my power; besides, he took me at such an to hard fasting, that is to say, positively not eat- advantage, and pressed me so home to a surrending at all, I perceive thou art a downright dunce, er, I could have torn him piece-meal. with the same stomach, and no more philosophy, Flo. Ay, I warrant you, an insolent-agreethan a hound upon horse flesh-Fasting's the able puppy. Well, but to leave impertinence, devil !-Let me see-this, I take it, is the most madam, pray how came you to squabble with frequented inn about Madrid, and if a keen guest him? or two should drop in now--Hark!
Hyp. I'll tell thee, Flora :-You know Don Host. (Within.] 'Take care of the gentlemen's Philip wants no charms that can recommend a horses there; see them well rubbed and littered. lover; in birth and quality, I confess him my su
Trup. Just alighted ! if they do but stay to perior; and it is the thought of that has been a eat now! Impudence assist me. Ha! a couple constant thorn upon my wishes. I never saw of pretty young sparks, faith!
him in the humblest posture, but still I fancied
he secretly presumed his rank and fortune might Enter HYPOLITA and Flora in men's habits;
deserve me. This always stung my pride, and a Servant with a portmanteuu.
made me overact it: nay, sometimes, when his Trap. Welcome to Madrid, sir; welcome, sir! sufferings have almost drawn tears into my eyes, Flo. Sir, your servant !
I have turned the subject with some trivial talk, Serv. Have the horses pleased your honour? or hummed a spiteful tune, though I believe his
Hyp. Very well indeed, friend. Pr’ythee, set heart was breaking: down the portmanteau, and see that the poor Flo. A very tender principle, truly ! creatures want nothing: they have performed Hyp. Well, I don't know, it was in my nature. well, and deserve our care.
But to proceed—This, and worse usage, continuTrap. I'll take care of that, sir. Here, ostler! ed a long time; at last, despairing of my heart,
(Exeunt TRAP. and Servunt he then resolved to do a violence on his own, by Flo. And pray, madam, what do I deserve, that consenting to his father's commands of marrying have lost the use of my limbs to keep pace with a lady of considerable fortune here in Madrid. you?'Sheart! you whipped and spurred like a fox. The match is concluded, articles are sealed, and hunter: it's a sign you had a lover in view : I'm the day is fixed for his journey. Now, the night sure my shoulders ache as if I had carried my before he set out, he came to take his leave of horse on them.
me, in hopes, I suppose, I would have staid him. Hyp: Poor Flora! thou art fatigued indeed! I need not tell you my confusion at the news; but I shall find a way to thank thee for't. and though I could have given my soul to havo
Fio. Thank me, quotha! Egad, I sha'n't be deferred it, yet, finding him, unless I badle him able to sit this fortnight. Well, I'm glad our stay, resolved upon the marriage, I (from the journey's at an end, however; and now, madam, pure spirit of contradiction) swore to myself I pray, what do you propose will be the end of our would not bid him do it; so called for ny veil,
and told him I was in haste, begged his pardon, Hyp. Why, now, I liope the end of my wishes your servant, and so whipped to prayers. -Don Philip, I necd not tell you how far he is Flo. Well said again ! that was a clincher.--in my heart.
Ah. had not you better been at confession? Flo. No, yo'r sweet usage of him told me that Hyp. Why, really, I might have saved a long long enough ago; but now, it seems, you think journey by it. To be short, when I came from fit to contess it : and what is it you love him for, church, Don Philip had left this letter at home
for me, without requiring an answer—-Read ilyp. His manner of bearing that usage.
itFlo. Ah, dear pride! knw we love to have it Flo. (Reads.]“ Your usa e has made me justly tickled! But he does not bear it, you sce, for despair of you, and now, any change must better
condition: at least it has reduced me to the Flo. I'm afraid it must be alone, if you do give necessity of trying the last remedy,--marriage him satisfaction; for my part, I can push no more with another; if it prove ineffectual, I only wish than I can swim.. you may, at some hours, remember how little
Hyp. But can you bully upon occasion ? cause I have given you to have made me for ever Flo. I can scold, when my blood's up. miserable.
PHILIP.” Hyp. That's the same thing: bullying would Poor gentleman! very hard, by my conscience ! be scolding in petticoats. Indeed, madam, this was carrying the jest a little Flo. Say ye so? Why, then, Don, look to too far.
yourself; if I don't give you as good as you bring, Hyp. Ah, by many a long mile, Flora; but I'll be content to wear breeches as long as I live, what would you have a woman do, when her though I lose the end of my sex by it. Well
, hand's in ?
madam, now you have opened the plot, pray, Flo. Nay, the truth of it is, we never know when is the play to begin? the difference between enough and a surfeit ; Hyp. I hope to have it all over in less than but, love be praised, your proud stomach's come four hours : 'we'll just refresh ourselves with down for it.
what the house affords, comb out our wigs, and Hyp. Indeed, it is not altogether so high as wait upon my father-in-law-How now! what it was. In a word, his last letter set me at my would this fellow have? wit's end; and when I came to myself, you may remember you thought me bewitched; for I im
Enter TRAPPANTI. mediately called for my boots and breeches, a Trap. Servant, gentlemen ; I have taken nice straddle we got, and so rode after him.
care of your nags; good cattle they are, by my Flo. Why, truly, madam, as to your wits, I have troth! right and sound, I warrant them; they not much altered my opinion of them, for I deserve care, and they have had it, and shall have cannot see what you propose by it.
it, if they stay in this house. I always stand by, Hyp. My whole design, Flora, lies in this port- sir ; see them rubbed down with my own eyes manteau and these breeches.
Catch me trusting an ostler—I'll give you leave Flo. A notable design, no doubt! but, pray, to fill for me, and drink for me too. let's hear it?
Flo, I have seen this fellow somewhere. Hyp. Why, I do propose to be twice married Trup. Hey-day! what, no cloth laid? was between them.
ever such attendance ! Hey, house! tapster! Flo. How ! twice?
landlord ! hey! (Knocks.] What was it you beHyp. By the help of the portmanteau, I intend spoke, gentlemen? to marry myself to Don Philip's new mistress ; Hyp. Really, sir, I ask your pardon; I have aland then -I'll put off my breeches and marry most forgot you. him.
Trap. Pshaw! dear sir, never talk of it; I Flo. Now, I begin to take ye: but, pray, | live here bard by—I have a lodging --I cannot what's in the portmanteau, and how came you call it a lodging neither-that is, I have a
Sometimes I am here, and sometimes I am there; Hyp. I hired one to steal it from his servant and so, here and there, one makes shift, you at the last inn we lay at in Toledo. In it are know, Hey! will these people never come? jewels of value, presents to my bride, gold good
(Knocks. store, settlements, and credential letters, to cer- Hyp. You give a very good account of yourtify, that the bearer (which I intend to be my- self, sir. self) is Don Philip, only son and heir of Don Trap. Oh, nothing at all, sir. Lord, sir-was Fernando de las Torres, now residing at Seville, it fish or flesh, sir ? whence we came.
Flo. Really, sir, we have bespoke nothing yet. Flo. A very smart undertaking, by my troth! Trap. Nothing ! for shame! it's a sign you And, pray, madam, what part am I to act? are young travellers. You don't know this house,
Hyp. My woman still; when I cannot lie for sir; why, they'll let you starve if you don't stir myself
, you are to do it for me, in the person of and call, and that like thunder, toolley! a cousin-german.
(Knocks. Flo. And my name is to be
Hyp. Ha! you eat here sometimes, I presume, Hyp. Don Guzman, Diego, Mendoza, or what sir ? you please: be your own godfather.
Trap. Umph! Ay, sir, that's as it happens Flo. 'Egad, Í begin to like it mightily! this I seldom eat at home, indeed--things are genemay prove a very pleasant adventure, if we can rally, you know, so out of order there, that but come off without fighting, which, by the way, Did
any fresh news upon the road, sir? I don't easily perceive we shall; for, to be sure, Hyp. Only, sir, that the king of France lost a Don Philip will make the devil to do with us great horse-match upon the Alps t'other day. when he finds himself here before he comes hi- Trup. Ha! a very odd place for a horse-race ther.
--but the king of France may do any thing-did Ilyp. Oh, let me alone to give him satisfac- you come that way, gentlemen? or-Hey! tion,