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Sir Chu. Have a care! I have seen him at Lady
women now begin to laugh with him, not at him : Li More. Lord Foppington! Is he in town? for he really sometimes rallies his own humour
Sir Cha. Yes ; I heard last night he was come. with so much ease and pleasantry, that a great Give my service to his lordship, and tell him I many women begin to think he has no follies at should be glad he will do me the honour of his all, and those he has, have been as much owing company here at dinner. (Erit Servant.] We to his youth, and a great estate, as want of natumay have occasion for him in our design upon ral wit: 'tis true, he often is a bubble to his Lady Betty:
pleasures, but he has always been wisely vain Ld More. What use can we make of him? enough to keep himself from being too much the
Sir Cha. We'll see when he comes ; at least, ladies' humble servant in love. there is no danger in him; but I suppose you LI More. There, indeed, I almost envy him. know he is your rival.
Sir Cha. The easiness of his opinion upon the L: More. Pshaw! a coxcomb.
sex, will go near to pique him-- We must bave 5, Cha. Nay, don't despise him neither- him. he is able to give you advice; for, though he is Li More. As you please—but what shall we in love with the same woman, yet, to him, she do with ourselves till dinner ? has not charms enough to give a minute's pain. Sir Cha. What think you of a party at piquet ?
Ld More. Pr’ythee, what sense has he of love? Ld More. O! you are too hard for me.
Şir Cna. Faith, very near as much as a man of Sir Cha. Fie! fie! when you play with his sense ought to have; I grant you lie knows not how to value a woman truly deserving, but he Ld More. Upon my honour, he gives me threc has a pretty just esteem for most ladies about points. town.
Sir Cha. Does he ? Why, then, you shall give Ld More. That he follows, I grant you--for me but to-Here, fellow, get cards. Allons ! he seldom visits any of extraordinary reputation.
our best pains about it, 'tis the beauty of the SCENE I.–Lady BETTY Modisi's Lodgings. mind alone that gives us lasting value. Enter Lady BETTY, und Lady Easy, meeting. been a married woman to a fine purpose, indeed,
Lady Bet. Ah, my dear! my dear! you have Ludy Bet. Oh, my dear! I am overjoyed to that know so little of the taste of mankind. Take see you! I am strangely happy to-day! I have my word, a new fashion upon a fine woman is of just received my new scarf from London, and ten a greater proof of her value, than you are you are most critically come to give me your opi- aware of. nion of it.
Lady Easy. That I cann't comprehend; for Lady Easy. Oh, your servant, madam; I am
you see among the men, nothing's more ridicua very indifferent judge, you know. What, is it lous than a new fashion. Those of the first with sleeves ?
sense are always the last that come into them. Ludy Bet. Oh, 'tis impossible to tell
Lady Bet. That is, because the only merit of it is ! - -'Tis all extravagance, both in mode a man is his sense ; but, doubtless, the greatest and fancy, my dear. I believe there's six thou value of a woman is her beauty. An homely wosand yards of edging in it-Then, such an en man, at the head of a fashion, would not be alchanting slope from the elbow-something so lowed in it by the men, and consequently not new, so lively, so noble, so coquette and charm followed by the women ; so that, to be successful ing -but you shall sce it, my dear
in one's fancy, is an evident sign of one's being Lady Easy. Indeed, I won't, my dear; I am admired; and I always take admiration for the resolved to mortify you for being so wrongfully best proof of beauty, and beauty certainly is the fond of a trifle.
source of power, as power, in all creatures, is the Lady Bet. Nay, now, my dear, you are ill-na height of happiness. tured.
Lady Easy. At this rate, you would rather be Lady Easy. Why, truly, I'm half angry to see thought beautiful than good? a woman of your sense so warmly concerned in Ludy Bet. As I had rather command, than itic care of her outside; for, when we have taken obey : the wisest homely woman can't make a
man of sense of a fool; but the veriest fool of a quality so long and honourably in love with you; beauty shall make an ass of a statesman ; so that, for, now-a-days, one hardly ever hears of such a in short, I can't see a woman of spirit has any thing as a man of quality in love with the wobusiness in this world but to dress and make man he would marry. To be in love, now, is the men like her.
only to have a design upon a woman, a modish Lady Easy. Do you suppose this is a principle way of declaring war against her virtue, which the men of sense will admire you for?
they generally attack first, by toasting up her vaLady Bet. I do suppose, that when I suffer nitý. any man to like my person, he sha'n't dare to find Lady Bet. Ay, but the world knows, that is fault with my principle.
not the case between my lord and me. Lady Easy. But men of sense are not so easi Ludy Easy. Therefore, I think you happy. ly humbled.
Lady Bet. Now, I don't see it; I'll swear I'm Lady Bet. The easiest of any; one has ten better pleased to know there are a great many thousand times the trouble with a coxcomb. foolish fellows of quality that take occasion to
Ludy Eusy. Nay, that may be ; for I have toast me frequently seen you throw away more good humour, in Lady Easy. I vow I should not thank any genhopes of a tendresse from my lord Foppington, tleman for toasting me, and I have often wonwho loves all women alike, than would have made dered how a woman of your spirit could bear a my lord Morelove perfectly happy, who loves on- great many other freedoms I have seen some ly you.
men take with you. Lady Bet. The men of sense, my dear, make Ludy Bet. As how, my dear? Come, pr’ythee, the best fools in the world: their sincerity and be free with me, for, you must know, I love deargood breeding throws them so entirely into one's ly to hear my faults-Who is’t you have obserpower, and gives one such an agreeable thirst of ved to be too free with me? using them ill, to shew that power-'tis impossi Lady Eusy. Why, there's my lord Foppington; ble not to quench it.
could any woman but you bear to see him with a Lady Eusy. But, methinks, my lord More respectful fleer stare full in her face, draw up love's inanner to you might move any woman to his breath, and cry-Gad, you're handsome? a kinder sense of his merit.
Ludy Bet. My dear, fine fruit will have flies Ludy Bet. Ay, but would it not be hard, my about it ; but, poor things, they do it no harm : dear, for a poor weak woman to have a man of for, if you observe, people are generally most bis quality and reputation in her power, and not apt to choose that the flies have been busy with, to let the world see him there? Would any crea ha, ha, ha! ture sit new dressed all day in her closet? Could Lady Easy. Thou art a strange giddy creayou bear to have a sweet-fancied suit, and never ture! shew it at the play or the drawing-room?
Lady Bet. That may be from so much circuLady Eusy. But one would not ride in it, me lation of thought, my dear. thinks, or harass it out, when there's no occasion. Lady Eusy. But my lord Foppington's mar
Ludy Bet. Pooh! my lord Morelove's a mere ried, and one would not fool with him, for his Indian damask; one cann't wear him out; o' my lady's sake; it
may make her uneasy, andconscience, I must give himn to my woman at Ludy Bet. Poor creature! Her pride, indeed, last; I begin to be known by him : had no: I makes her carry it off without taking any notice best leave him off, my dear? for, poor soul, I be of it to me; though I know she hates me in her lieve I have a little fretted him of late.
heart, and I cannot endure malicious people; so Lady Easy. Now, 'tis to me amazing, how a I used to dine with her once a week, purely to man of his spirit can bear to be used like a dog give her disorder : if you had but seen when my for four or five years together—but nothing's a lord and I fooled a little, the creature looked so wonder in love ; yet pray, when you found you ugly! could not like him at first, why did you ever en Lady Eusy. But I should not think my repucourage him?
tation safe; my lord Foppington's a man that Lady Bet. Why, what would you have one talks often of his amours, but seldom speaks of do? for my part, I could no more choose a man favours that are refused him. by my eye, than a shoe; one must draw them on Lucy Bet. Pshaw! will any thing a man says a little, to see if they are right to one's foot. make a woman less agrceable? Will his talking
Lady Easy. But I'd no more fool on with a spoil one's complexion, or put one's hair out of man I could not like, than I'd wear a shoe that order? and for reputation-look you, my dear, pinched me.
take it for a rule, that, as amongst the lower rank Lady Bel. Ay, but then a poor wretch tells of people, no woman wants beauty that has forone, he'll widen them, or do any thing, and is so tune; so, among people of fortume, no woman civil and silly, that one does not know how to wants virtue that ha: beauty: but an estate and turn such a trifle, as a pair of shoes, or an heart, beauty joined, are of an unlimited, nay, a power upon a fellow's hands again.
pontifical, make one not only absolute, but infal. Lady Easy. Well; I confess you are very hap- lible-A fine w.man's never in the w, ong; or, pily distinguished among most women of fortune, if we wert, 'tis not the strength of a poor cream have a man of my lord Morelove's sense and I ture's reason that can unfetter him. Oh, how !
love to hear a wretch curse himself for loving on, Ld More. Oh! Prythee, how does that go
Sir Cha. As agreeably as a Chancery suit; for
now it comes to the intolerable plague of my tot
being able to get rid on't; as you may seeLady Easy. At this rate, I don't see you allow
(Giving the letter. reputation to be at all essential to a fine woman? Ld More. (Reads.]—“ Your behaviour, since 'Lady Bet. Just as much as honour to a great I came to Windsor, has convinced me of your
Power is always above scandal. Don't villainy, without my being surprised, or angry at you hear people say the king of France owes it. I desire you would let me see you at my most of his conquests to breaking his word, and lodgings immediately, where I shall have a betwould not the confederates have a fine time on't, ter opportunity to convince you, that I never if they were only to go to war with reproaches ? can, or positively will, be as I have been.Indeed, my dear, that jewel reputation is a very Yours,” &c. A very whimsical letter ! Faith, I fanciful business! One shall not see a homely think she has hard luck with you: if a man were creature in town, but wears it in her mouth as obliged to have a mistress, her person and condimonstrously as the Indians do bobs at their lips, tion seem to be cut out for the ease of a lover : and it really becomes them just alike.
for she's a young, handsome, wild, well-jointured Lady Eusy. Have a care, my dear, of trusting widow—But what's your quarrel? too far to power alone: for nothing is more ridi Sir Cha. Nothing-She sees the coolness hapculous than the fall of pride; and woman's pride, pens to be first on my side, and her business at best, may be suspected to be more a distrust, with me now, I suppose, is to convince me how than a real contempt of mankind; for, when we heartily she's vexed that she was not before-hand have said all we can, a deserving husband is cer
with me. tainly our best happiness; and I don't question Ld More. Her pride, and your indifference, but my lord Morelove's merit, in a little time, must occasion a pleasant scene, sure; what do will make you think so, too; for, whatever airs you intend to do? you give yourself to the world, I'm sure your Sir Cha. Treat her with a cold familiar air, till heart don't want good nature.
I pique her to forbid me her sight, and then take Ludy Bet. You are mistaken; I am very illo her at her word. natured, though your good humour won't let you Ld More. Very gallant and provoking.
Enter a Sertant. Lady Easy. Then, to give me a proof on't, let me see you refuse to go immediately and dine Serv. Sir, my lord Foppingtonwith me, after I have promised Sir Charles to
(Exit Servant, bring you.
Sir Cha. Oh-now, my lord, if you have a Lady Bct. Pray, don't ask me.
mind to be let into the mystery of making love Lady Easy. Why?
without pain, here's one that's a master of the Ludy Bei. Because, to let you see I hate art, and shall declaim to yougood nature, I'll go without asking, that you mayn't have the malice to say I did you a favour.
Enter Lord FOPPINGTON. Lady Easy. Thou art a mad creature. My dear Lord Foppington !
(Exeunt arm in arm. Ld Fop. My dear agreeable! Que je t'em
brasse ! Pardi ! Il y a cent ans que je ne t'ai vu SCENE II.-Changes to Sir CHARLES's Lodge - my lord, I am your lordship’s most obedient ings. Lord MORELOVE und Sir CHARLES at
humble servant. piquet.
Ld More. My lord, I kiss hands—I hope
we shall have you here some time; you scem Sir Cha. Come, my lord, one single game for to have laid in a stock of health to be in at the the tout, and so have done.
diversions of the place—You look extremely well. Ld More. No, hang them, I have enough of Ld Fop. To see one's friends look so, my them! ill cards are the dullest company in the lord, may easily give a vermeille to one's comworld-How much is it?
plexion. Sir Cha. Three parties.
Sir Cha. Lovers in liope, my lord, always have Ld More, Fifteen pounds—very well.
a visible brilliant in their eyes and air. (While Lord MORELOVE counts out his money, a Ld Fop. What dost thou mean, Charles ?
servunt gives Sir CHARLES a letter, which Sir Cha. Come, come, confess what really he reads to himself.
brought you to Windsor, now you have no busiSir Cha. (To the Servant.}--Give my service;
ness there? say I have company dines with me; if I have Ld Fop. Why, two hours, and six of the best time I'll call there in the afternoonha, ha, ha! nags in Christendom, or the devil drive me!
[Exit Servant. Ld More. You make laste, my lord. Ld More. What's the matter? there
Ld Fop. My lord, I always fly when I pursuc [Puying the money. -But they are all well kept, indeed - I love to Sir Cha. The old afair— My ladly Graveairs. have creatures go as I bid them. You have seen
them, Charles ; but so has all the world : Fop- | deserve more than her husband's inclinations can pington's long tails are known on every road in pay, in my mind she has no merit at all. England.
Ld More. She's extremely well-bred, and of Sir Cha. Well, my lord, but how came they to a very prudent conduct. bring you this road? You don't use to take tliese Li Fop. Um-ay-the woman's proud irregular jaunts, without some design in your enough. head, of having more than nothing to do.
Ld More. Add to this, all the world allows Ld Fop. Pshaw! Pox! Pr’ythee, Charles, thou her handsome. knowest'I am a fellow sans consequence, be Ld Fop. The world's extremely civil, my lord ; where I will
and I should take it as a favour done me, if they Sir Chu. Nay, nay, this is too much among could find an expedient to uninarry the poor wofriends, my lord; ; come, come, we must have it; man from the only man in the world that cannot your real business here?
think her handsome. Lu For. Why, then, entre nous, there is a Li More. I believe there are a great many in certain fille de joye about the court, here, that the world that are sorry'tis not in their power to loves winning at cards better than all the things unmarry her. I have been able to say to her,--so I have Ld lop. I am a great many in the world's brought an odd thousand bill in my pocket, that very humble servant; and, whenever they find I design tête-à-tête, to play off with her at pi- it is in their power, their high and mighty wise quet, or so; and now the business is out. domu may command me at a quarter of an hour's
Sir Cha. Ay, and a very good business, too, my warning: lord.
Lit More. Pray, my lord, what did you marry Ld Fop. If it be well done, Charles
for? Sir Cha. That's as you manage your cards, my Ld Fop. To pay my debts at play, and disinlord.
herit my younger
brother. Ld More. This must be a woman of conse
Lid Afore. But there are some things due to a quence, by the value you set upon her favours. wife.
Sir Chu. Oh, nothing's above the price of a Ld Fop. And there are some debts I don't fine woman.
care to pay
to both which I plead-husband, La Fop. Nay, look you, gentlemen, the price and—my lord. may not happen to be altogether so high, nei
Ld More. If I should do so, I should expect ther-For I fancy I know enough of the game to have my own coach stopt in the street, and to to make it an even bet, I get her for nothing. meet my wife with the windows up in a hackney. Lit More. How so, my lord ?
Ld Fop. Then would I put in bail, and order Li Fop. Because if she happen to lose a good a separate maintenance. sum to me, I shall buy her with her own money. Ld More. So, pay the double the sum of the Li More. That's new, I confess.
debt, and be married for nothing. Li Fop. You know, Charles, 'tis not impossi Ld Fop. Now, I think deferring a dun, and ble but I may be five hundred pounds deep with getting rid of one's wife, are two of the most her-then, bills may fall short, and the devil's agreeable sweets in the liberties of an English in't if I want assurance to ask her to pay some subject.
Üd More. If I were married, I would as soon Sir Chu. And a man must be a churl, indeed, part from my estate as my wife. that won't take a lady's personal security; ha, Ld Fop. Now, I would noi ; sun-burn me if ha, ha!
I would. La Fop. He, he, he! Thou art a devil, Charles ! La More. Death! but, since you are so inLd More. Death? How happy is this coxcomb? | different, my lord, why would you needs marry a
[ Aside. woman of so much merit? Could not you have Li Fop. But, to tell you the truth, gentlemen, laid out your spleen upon some ill-natured shrew, I had another pressing temptation that brought that wanted the plague of an ill husband, and me hither, which was—my wife.
have let her alone to some plain, honest man of Ld More. That's kind, indeed; my lady has quality, that would have deserved her? been here this month: she'll be glad to see you. Lu Top. Why, faith, my lord, that might have
Li Fop. That I don't know ; for I design this been considered; but I really grew so passionafternoon to send ber to London.
ately fond of her fortune, that, curse catch me, L1 More. What the same day you come, my I was quite blind to the rest of her good qualilord ? that would be cruel.
ties; for, to tell you the truth, if it had been posLi Fop. Ay, but it will be mighty convenient ; sible the old put of a peer could have tossed me for she is positively of no manner of use in my
in t'other five thousand for them, by my consent,
she should have relinquished her merit and virLi More. That's your fault; the town thinks tues to any of her other sisters. her a very deserving woman.
Sir Cha. Ay, ay, my lord; virtues in a wife are Ld Fop. If she were a woman of the town, good for nothing but to make her proud, and put perhaps I should think so too; but she happens the world in mind of her husband's faults. to be my wife, and, when a wife is once given to Li Fop. Right, Charles : and strike me blind,
way or other.
but the wonien of virtue are now grown such Ld Fop. Heh! heh! well said, Charles ; 'egad, idiots in love, that they expect of a man, just as I fancy thee and I have unlaced many a reputathey do of a coach-horse, that one's appetite, like tion there!. Your great lady is as soon unt'other's flesh, should increase by feeding. dressed as her woman.
Sir Cha. Right, my lord; and don't consider, Ld More. I could never find it so—the shame that toujours chapons bouillis will never do with or scandal of a repulse always made me afraid of an English stom
attempting women of condition. Ld Fop. Da, ha, ha! To tell you the truth, Sir Cha. Ha, ha! 'egad, my lord, you deserve Charles, I have known so much of that sort of to be ill used; your modesty's enough to spoil eating, that I now think, for an bearty mcal, no any woman in the world. But my lord and I unwild fowl in Europe is comparable to a joint of derstand the sex a little better; we see plainly, Banstead mution.
that women are only cold, as some men are brave, Ld More. How do you mean?
from the modesty or fear of those that attack Ld Fop. Why, that, for my part, I had rather them, have a plain slice of my wife's woman, than my Ld Fop. Right, Charles-a man should no more guts full of e'er an Ortolan duchess in Christen- give up his heart to a woman, than his sword to dom.
a bully; they are both as insolent as the devil Ld More. But I thought, my lord, your chief after it. business now at Windsor had been your design Sir Cha. Ilow do you like that, my lord ? upon a woman of quality.
(Aside to Lord MORELOVE. Ld Fop. That's true, my lord ; though I don't Ld More. Faith, I envy him!-But, my lord, think your fine lady the best dish myself, yet a suppose your inclination should stumble upon a man of quality cann't be without such things at woman truly virtuous, would not a severe repulse his table.
from such an one put you strangely out of counLd Nfore. Oh, then, you only desire the re tenance ? putation of an affair with her?
La For. Not at all, my lord-- for, if a man Ld Fop. I think the reputation is the most don't mind a box o' the ear in a fair struggle with inviting part of an amour with most women of a fresh commtry girl, why the deuce should be be quality.
concerned at an impertinent frown for an attack Ld More. Why so, my lord ?
upon a woman of quality? Ld Fop. Why, who the devil would run through Ld More. Then, you have no notion of a lady's all the degrees of form and ceremony that lead cruelty? one up to the last favour, if it were not for the Ld Fop. Ha, ha! let me blood, if I think reputation of understanding the nearest way to there's a greater jest in nature! I am ready to get over the difficulty?
crack my guts with laughing, to see a senseless Ld More. But, my lord, does not the repu- Airt, because the creature happens to have a littation of your being so general an undertaker tle pride, that she calls virtue, about her, give frighten the women from engaging with you? For, herself all the insolent airs of resentment and they say, no man can love but one at a time. disdain to an honest fellow, that, all the while,
Ld Fop. That's just one more than ever I came does not care three pinches of snuff if she and up to: for, stop my breath, if ever I loved in my her virtue were to run, with their last favours, lite!
through the first regiment of guards ! -Ha, ha! Ld More. How do you get them, then? it puts me in mind of an affair of mine, so in
Ld Fop. Why, sometimes, as they get other pertinent ! people: I dress, and let them get me, or, if that Ld More. Oh, that's impossible, my lord !won't do, as I got my title, I buy them.
Pray, let's hear it. Ld More. But, how can you, that profess in Ld Fop. Why, I happened once to be very well difference, think it worth your while to come so in a certain man of quality's family, and his wife often up to the price of a woman of quality ? liked me!
Ld Fop. Because, you must know, my lord, Ld More. How do you know she liked you? that most of them begin, now, to come down to Ld Fop. Why, from the very moment I told reason; I mean those that are to be had; for her I liked her, she never durst trust herself at some die fools : but, with the wiser sort, 'tis not, the end of a room with me. of late, so very expensive; now and then, a par Ld More. That might be her not liking you. tie quarré, a jaunt or two in a hack to an Indian Ld Fop. My lord-Woinen of quality don't use house, a little china, an odd thing for a gown, to speak the thing plain—but, to satisfy you I or so; and, in three days after, you meet her at did not want encouragement, I never came there the conveniency of trying it chez Mademoiselle in my life, but she did immediately smile, and d'Epingle.
borrow my snuff-box. Sir Cha, Ay, ay, my lord; and when you are Ld More. She liked your spuff, at least-Well, there, you know, what between a little chat, a but low did she use you?-dish of tea, mademoiselle's good humour, and a La Fop. By all that's infamous, she jilted nie! petit chanson or two, the devil's in't if a man Ld More. How! Jilt you? can't fool away the time, 'till he sees how it looks Ld Fop. Ay, death's curse, she jilted me! upon her by candle-light.
.Ld More. Pray, let's hear.