FUGITIVE PIECES.

THOUGHTS SUGGESTED BY A COLLEGE

EXAMINATION.*

HIGH in the midst, surrounded by his peers,
MAGNUS his ample front sublime uprears;
Placed on his chair of state, he seems a God,
While Sophs and Freshmen tremble at his nod;
As all around sit wrapt in speechless gloom,
His voice, in thunder, shakes the sounding dome,
Denouncing dire reproach to luckless fools,
Unskill'd to plod in mathematic rules.

Happy the youth! in Euclid's axioms tried, Though little versed in any art beside;

* No reflection is here intended against the person mentioned under the name of Magnus. He is merely represented as performing an unavoidable function of his office: indeed such an attempt could only recoil upon myself; as that gentleman is now as much distinguished by his eloquence, and the dignified propriety with which he fills his situation, as he was, in his younger days, for wit and conviviality.

Who, scarcely skill'd an English line to pen,
Scans attic metres with a critic's ken.

What! though he knows not how his fathers bled,
When civil discord piled the fields with dead;
When Edward bade his conquering bands ad-

vance,

Or Henry trampled on the crest of France;

Though, marv'ling at the name of Magna Charta,
Yet, well he recollects the laws of Sparta ;
Can tell what edicts sage Lycurgus made,
While Blackstone's on the shelf neglected laid;
Of Grecian dramas vaunts the deathless fame,
Of Avon's bard remembering scarce the name.

Such is the youth, whose scientific pate,
Class-honours, medals, fellowships, await;
Or even, perhaps, the declamation prize,
If to such glorious height he lifts his eyes.
But, lo! no common orator can hope
The envied silver cup within his scope:
Not that our Heads much eloquence require,
Th' ATHENIAN'S glowing style, or Tully's fire.
A manner clear or warm is useless, since
We do not try, by speaking, to convince ;

Be other orators of pleasing proud,

We speak to please ourselves, not move the

crowd:

Our gravity prefers the muttering tone,

A proper mixture of the squeak and groan ;
No borrow'd grace of action must be seen,
The slightest motion would displease the Dean;
Whilst every staring Graduate would prate
Against what he could never imitate..

The man, who hopes t' obtain the promised cup, Must in one posture stand, and ne'er look up; Nor stop, but rattle over every word,

No matter what, so it can not be heard:

Thus let him hurry on, nor think to rest;
Who speaks the fastest 's sure to speak the best:
Who utters most within the shortest space,

May safely hope to win the wordy race.

The sons of science these, who, thus repaid, Linger in ease in Granta's sluggish shade; Where on Cam's sedgy banks, supine they lie,

Unknown, unhonour'd live,-unwept for, die;

Dull as the pictures which adorn their halls,

They think all learning fix'd within their walls;
In manners rude, in foolish forms precise,
All modern arts affecting to despise;

Yet prizing BENTLEY'S, BRUNCK's, or PORSON'S †

note,

More than the verse on which the critic wrote;
Vain as their honours, heavy as their Ale,

Sad as their wit, and tedious as their tale,

To friendship dead, though not untaught to feel,
When Self and Church demand a Bigot zeal.
With eager haste they court the lord of power,
Whether 'tis PITT or P-TTY rules the hour: §
To him, with suppliant smiles, they bend the head,
While distant mitres to their eyes are spread;
But should a storm o'erwhelm him with disgrace,
They'd fly to seek the next who fill'd his place.

** Celebrated Critics.

The present Greek Professor at Trinity College, Cambridge; a man whose powers of mind and writings may perhaps justify their preference.

Since this was written, Lord H. P -y has lost his place, and subsequently (I had almost said CONSEQUENTLY) the honour of representing the University; a fact so glaring requires

no comment.

Such are the men who learning's treasures guard,
Such is their practice, such is their reward;
This much, at least, we may presume to say;
The premium can't exceed the price they pay.

TO THE EARL OF

1806.

"Tu semper amoris

"Sis memor, et cari comitis ne abscedat imago."

VALERIUS FLACCUS.

I.

FRIEND of my youth! when young we roved,
Like striplings mutually beloved,

With Friendship's purest glow;

The bliss which wing'd those rosy hours,
Was such as pleasure seldom showers

On mortals here below.

2.

The recollection seems, alone,

Dearer than all the joys I've known,